The Winning Losers
by Minh Minh
Summary: NEW CHAPTER: A brief survey
1. Fate and Destiny Got Bored One Day

Story Summary: It's been about eight years since Prince Endymion and the Shittenou (literally "four kings" or more commonly known as "generals") last saw Princess Serenity and her Inner Senshi. The princess and the prince were close pals from the start, but their guardians were not so agreeable. Even at their first meeting, the opposite guardian groups could not stand each other. At all. So what happens when the queens of the Earth and the Moon decide they can finally spend some quality time together after the long period of separation? The Senshi, Shittenou, and Crown heirs are all grown up (well, physically and in training experience at least) when they finally meet again. God save us all. . .

Extra note: the "Silver Millennium" is used as the more common name for the Moon Kingdom. I use the term "Shittenou" instead of "Generals" and "Senshi" instead of "Scouts".

Disclaimer: The characters of Sailor Moon do not belong to me, but to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation, and a lotta other peoples I can't name off the top of my head. So if anyone decides to sue, all you'll squeeze outta me are a chewed up stick of gum and a tricycle with no brakes, two missing tires, and one flat tire. Don't ask, just don't bother. The bright side is that the story is, in fact, an original product of my weird and wicked imagination.

' denotes thought

AN: author's notes

The Winning Losers

Prologue: Fate & Destiny Got Bored One Day. . .

A tall, feminine, regal figure entered her Throne Room, her only company being the headache pounding in her head. The constant clicking of her heels against the smooth, cold marble floor wasn't helping her impending migraine. The sound of her footsteps echoed through the spacious room and off the gold and ivory gilded walls and columns. She never remembered the little task of walking across a room to be so complicated.

'Please, no more sounds,' her mind pleaded.

Two long, silvery-lavender rivers of hair trailed behind her, barely able to stay put in their sphere-shaped buns on either sides of her head. The queen's brisk pace threatened to undo her unique hair style, but she continued to pick up speed, almost working up to a sprint.

'Must reach my throne. . .'

Queen Serenity was eagerly pursuing the comfort of her throne. She highly prized it's welcoming elegance, and more importantly, the fond memories of her mother that came with it. Long ago - 'Well it wasn't that long ago' - her mother, the queen before her, would sit Serenity on her lap while she sat on the throne and read stories to her. At the base of it were three steps leading to a crystal platform. On top of that, the platinum frame of the seat itself was intricately carved with designs of vines, roses, stars, and crescent moons. The single plush white cushion, embroidered on the edges with golden thread, simply rested upon the seat. It always relaxed her tense muscles. Whenever the room was empty, it transformed into her sanctuary; her escape of tranquility. It was her favorite place to gather up her thoughts, which now seemed to be jumbled in her tired, overworked mind.

"Ah, silence," she sighed after carelessly plopping herself onto her physical lifesaver, inwardly thanking the saint who invented such a luxury: the chair.

She had just survived a looooong day. At the first light of morning, she forced herself out of bed, performed her morning rituals, squeezed into her royal dress- 'And I still fit into it after all these centuries!' -then set off to head the Silver Millennium council conference. She would always wish her dear husband was still alive to guide her through these agonizingly dull experiences with her. The meeting was where proposals were brought forth, various issues were discussed, and representatives and ambassadors of the alliance bit each other's heads off.

'Babysitting was not one of my job requirements.'

From dawn until dusk that particular day, she sat listening to the droning of grouchy officials, juggled schedules for upcoming major events, approved measures for the schools and communities, supervised the activities of the Lunarian army fleets, did her laundry (the servant who did her laundry was out sick, and she granted her "back-up" servants a two-week vacation), and smoothed out disputes between feuding organizations.

'It's amazing all the planets and galaxies of the Silver Millennium are still united. . .'

Actually, it wasn't a surprise at all to her court. If any of the officers were asked why, they'd all agree Queen Serenity was the main reason the bonds of the federations remained so tight. She was too humble to admit that it was her iron leadership, wisdom, and healthy insights which led them in prosperity. Her loyal subjects loved her for her heart of gold. Bottom line, Queen Serenity, by just being herself, won respect, undying support, and faithful allegiance.

'Is it possible to exchange it all for a week's vacation? Neptune is good this time of year. . .'

Of course, she'd never dream of actually carrying out such a terrible act of selfishness. She was just plain exhausted.

'And I still have to pay the bills! I swear the maids abuse the right to use the teleport, water, and electricity freely.' Yes, the queen uses royal revenue to pay expenses. Magic has more important uses than palace chores--"Work builds character!" was her motto.

After resigning from her duties for a whole minute, a palace messenger rushed through the great wooden doors of the Throne Room's entrance. 'Strange. My precious time to myself is usually interrupted after the firstthirtyseconds,' she mused. The messenger bowed respectfully.

"Your...ummm...Highness," he squeaked nervously (his first day on the job), "this letter just arrived from the kingdom of Earth." In a split second, the queen's sleepy head shot up, all attention now on the envelope the messenger held in his hands. Mustering the strength for a tired but kind smile, she replied, "Thank you, you may be excused." The boy bowed vigorously, then skipped crookedly towards the exit while humming a tune which kept going off key, his puberty barely kicking in.

"Where in Hades do they find these new palace interns?" she mumbled to herself after he'd left. 'Who is our human resources person? Oh yes, it's Artemis. No wonder. He finds these types of things amusing.' Quickly pushing that thought out of her head to puzzle over later, she carefully tore off the golden seal on the envelope, noticing it was indeed imprinted with the Earth's symbol. She quickly snatched out the letter and unfolded it. Instantly, she recognized the neat, concise handwriting as she smiled to no one but herself. The letter read:

Dearest Serenity,

It's been so long since I have gotten the opportunity to write to you personally, and even longer since we last met. Both you and I must oversee large kingdoms, but you definitely deserve more applause for smoothly managing the bustling Silver Millennium, even after hundreds of years! I hope you are feeling well, and please tell your lovely daughter and the Senshi I send my warmest greetings.

I am most excited to tell you that God has granted me a most pleasant gift. Out of my busy life, I have finally been able to clear an entire two and a half months, and I only desire to spend this valuable time one way: I am planning to arrive on the Moon for a nice visit. It has been so long, Serenity, since I have conversed and laughed with you beside me with a cup of tea at my side. I sorely miss your companionship, not to mention our gossip.

At this comment, the queen giggled knowingly. Queens don't giggle.

Also, my husband finally agreed to settle down his kingly affairs to accompany me, and I know how much you shall enjoy his presence as well.

Finally, I shall reveal the best part of this correspondence. After long sessions of persuading, I have succeeded in convincing my son Endymion, I swear he's his father's son, and his guard to delay any of their other plans to also join me. Is it not grand? I am sure you remember eight years ago when my son and his four Shittenou first met your daughter and the inner planet princesses. The boys were about thirteen, and the girls were around ten. My son and your daughter were the best of friends from the start, always going off together! I believe the boys absolutely enjoyed the girls' company and play. It is a shame it was fated as the first of only a few visits, due to the early combat training both groups went through separately. Endymion and the Shittenou have become fine, disciplined warriors. I am well aware the Senshi are the best known defenders of the Moon Kingdom. Maybe it's been too long, but I still can't imagine your daughter, little Princess Sere to me always, being a champion of love and justice! But each one of those five girls are probably the galaxy's most skilled fighters, and I knew it from the start. They were such spirited little girls. I never predicted both the boys' and girls' battle preparation would continue so, so long, nor did I know our royal duties would become more cumbersome and hectic.

Anyways, after eight years apart, I wouldn't be surprised if none of them remember each other since it was so long ago and they were so young. I plan to arrive tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock sharp. I anticipate our meeting, for we must do lots of catching up. Take care, my friend.

Yours truly,

Gwendolyn

Queen Serenity could just faint from the overwhelming happiness flooding through her body. It felt an eternity since last she saw her closest friends Queen Gwendolyn of Earth and her husband King Damon of Earth. What struck her even more was the fact that her friend's son and his guard would visit too!

'Such nice young boys,' she remembered. 'The girls shall be thrilled to hear this glorious news!'

Queen Serenity was known for her quick and accurate assumptions, but this one was by far the worst judgment she ever made in her life. Oh, if only she knew. . .

"I'll inform them at dinner," she decided. Then she glanced at the grandfather clock. 7:00. Dinner would be served in half an hour.

That exact half an hour marked the beginning of when those young men and women's lives would slip into mayhem. . . . . .


	2. When the News Hits, it Hits Hard

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. How many times do I have to say this? Well, this story is gonna take a while, so I guess a lot of times. Want more specifics on who does own it? Read the prologue, I'm too lazy to repeat myself (although reading that might not help either). Gomen nasai. . . *yawn*.  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
***Current ages of characters:  
  
Senshi:  
  
Rei - 20  
  
Ami - 19  
  
Minako - 20  
  
Makoto - 21  
  
Princess Serenity - 18  
  
Shittenou:  
  
Jadeite - 21  
  
Zoisite - 21  
  
Kunzite - 23  
  
Nephrite - 22  
  
Prince Endymion - 20  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter One: When the News Hits, It Hits Hard  
  
The chiming sounds of giggles were audible enough to hear throughout the halls built in the wing opposite the one of the Throne Room. The light- hearted laughter originated in the Drawing Room, coming from five beautiful ladies. Extraordinarily hyper young ladies, and the way they were behaving was very un-ladylike: one of them laughed so hard until she couldn't help snorting, two of them rolled back so far their skirts slipped past their knees, one was slapping her thigh and howling in delight, and the last one tried not to laugh but ended up spitting out her drink of water.  
  
Sitting on the broad window sill was a golden-haired cherub. Her hairstyle was an exact duplicate of her mother's; the two buns on either sides of her head with the endless ribbons of spun gold hanging from them. She was the crown princess of the Moon Kingdom herself, Princess Usagi Serenity II. But to her closest friends, she was fondly nicknamed "Usa- chan". Her relatives and close friends of her mother's called her "Sere". She possessed the famed qualities of her mother: beauty, a most caring heart, sharp wits, independence, and natural charm. That last quality didn't show now since she laughed like a drunk hyena along with her tightly knit friends, her purely sapphire eyes dancing with mirth.  
  
Sitting across from her was another bubbly blonde who could have been the princess's double, only this princess tied back her long, shiny locks with a simple red bow. Princess Minako ("Mina") Aino of Venus won the hearts of many, many men with her sunny personality, starlet glamor, and mega-watt smile. Her cheeriness brought a smile to the most stoic of people, yet her understanding of people had an unmatched depth. She was also the head commander of the senshi, born with leadership skills and an inspiring spirit. Her clear, sky-blue eyes sparkled with unborn tears because she was laughing so hard, and she was wrinkling her expensive dress by rolling on the carpet. Her mother would have had a heart attack.  
  
Still gasping for air, she managed to say, "Ohmigosh Usa-chan, is that what really happened on your date with that duke from Uranus??"  
  
"I'm so serious. I can't believe he did that!" replied Serenity.  
  
The Uranian duke had managed to elicit a promise from her mother to convince Princess Serenity to accompany him on a stroll through the Moonlight Gardens. He was obviously a fortune-hunter, for everyone in court knew of his infamous gambling debts, but the queen did not want to insult Uraniun nobility. Uranus was one of the most loyal planets in the system. Because of this dilemma, her daughter agreed, albeit reluctantly. Not only was he a fortune-hunter, he was also a womanizer, or at least he tried to be, as Serenity discovered in a most unpleasant way.  
  
According to Serenity, she had a bad impression of him the first time she saw the greed and lust in his dark, beady eyes. When he bent over to kiss her hand, he kissed it much longer than necessary. "And when I tried to make polite conversation," recounted Serenity, "he replied equally politely to my chest. When I asked him what he was so interested in, he told me how beautiful the the hilly landscape of the Moon was."  
  
"He was still staring at your breasts?"  
  
"'Still'? I think he never looked at my face once the whole time."  
  
"Figures," Minako mumbled flatly, adding a shrug. She could relate.  
  
"Yeah. Then, I spotted a bench under a tree and decided to sit down, because frankly, I did not feel like walking any further with him. Right when I sit down, he takes that opportunity to push up against me until I nearly fall off the edge of the bench! Did I mention how horrid his cologne was? It was almost as bad as his breath."  
  
"How did you know what his breath smelled like?" asked one of her friends.  
  
"Well, he tried to kiss me."  
  
The others gasped in unison. Serenity's court was appalled at the audacity of the perverted duke and his unexcusable behavior towards the princess of the solar system, and more importantly, to their friend. After the shock passed, another one of her court inquired, "So what did you do next?"  
  
"What do you think I did?" asked Serenity mischievously.  
  
After giving the question some thought, the four inner princesses visibly winced. No duke, let alone any man, could escape the power of a sailor senshi. Even if Serenity did not train as long or as hard as the other senshi and was not as skilled as them in hand-to hand combat, she was still a formidable force.  
  
"How serious is his condition?" the blue-haired one thought aloud.  
  
"Oh, just a concussion. He doesn't seem to remember exactly what happened to him because I flipped him over so fast. He says his memory of his time spent with me is a bit fuzzy, so I convinced him into thinking that he stumbled over the bench and hit his head against one of the very low branches of the tree."  
  
"Is he still set on pursuing you?" one of the brunettes asked.  
  
"Even if he still wanted to court me, he won't be able to do so for a couple of weeks."  
  
A thought then came to Minako. "What does your mother think of the 'accident'?"  
  
Serenity smiled. "She sent a get well card to him, sympathizing for his unfortunate luck upon his visit to the Moon and stating she was determined to reprimand the gardeners, but the way she looked at me--you know, that 'I-know-what-you-did-don't-try-that-again' look--told me how well she knew her dear daughter."  
  
Just then, Princess Mars was inspired to emphasize the absurdity of the incident. She slinked over to Sere, slipped her arm around the latter's neck, and breathed in a deep and over dramatized voice, "Oh sweet princess, I have loved you since I first saw you (or at least your good parts) and the abundant gold in your safe! Please, accept my proposal of marriage, and we shall be together 'till debt...I mean *death*...do us part!"  
  
This encouraged a joyous Serenity to play along. "But what if I lost all those riches, my darling duke? Would you still love me then?"  
  
"Of course!" exclaimed Mars. "If worse comes to worse, my beloved, I will do everything I can to provide for my...er...*our* heir!"  
  
"And how will you manage to do that?"  
  
"By selling you to a whore house!"  
  
The group burst into more laughter. Mars was very pleased with the reaction she intended to receive. Rei Hino, Princess of Mars, was an exotic and intriguing beauty. Her thigh-length raven hair streaked with violet highlights matched her mysterious amethyst eyes, which complimented her fair complexion. She was bestowed with the gift of spiritual and psychic intuition, and whether she wished to or not, she could even read another's thoughts. She possessed a caring soul, but she hid it under a domineering, aloof facade that effectively intimidated the solar system's toughest politicians. Nothing passed her scrutiny, and her wisdom in life belied her few years. She could be incredibly mellow, or she could be startlingly fiery, but through anything, she was always composed and graceful. With her striking looks, cleverness, and dry humor, no man could resist her, yet she was, and proud to be, the biggest man-hater on this side of the universe.  
  
The brunette kneeling beside Rei spoke up. "If any guy did that to me, I would have slapped him upside the head in a blink of an eye, twisted his arm 'till he cried uncle, and thrown him over my shoulder like the load of trash he his. Or maybe, it's better to teach him a lesson by kicking him where. . . " and she continued to describe the best ways to crush a man's masculine pride and his other assets. It sounded suspiciously as if she had actually done so herself.  
  
The Princess of Jupiter, Makoto Kino, was the most assertive. She tied up her gleaming auburn hair in a high pony-tail; the better to train or cook so her hair wouldn't get in the way. Her emerald eyes held an eternal flare of determination. Her tall and graceful stature made her look even more regal, but as only her closest friends knew, she was soft, sincere, and girly at heart. Makoto's optimism and loyalty was treasured among her circle of friends, and people always felt comfortable in her presence. She was also the most relaxed of the girls, and after knowing her and Minako well, one could tell they both were the most boy-crazy of the group.  
  
"Mako-chan! That is not a very appropriate thing to say, even if someone does deserves such harsh impunity. There are more effective ways to treat misguided and dispicable men such as the Uraniun duke. It is all a psychological impediment among men of his disgraceful kind find difficult to break. Violence is not the only remedy. . ."  
  
The Mercurian princess, Ami Mizuno, was the voice of reason within their clique. Ami's hair was light, fluffy, and a curious yet attractive blue. It was cut short "for efficiency". Her bright cerulean eyes conveyed such softness, betraying her diamond-hard intelligence. Her soft porcelain face was always calm, even under the worst pressure. Although she was really shy, quiet, prude, and unsocial, her close friends knew her to be amiable, strong-willed, and brilliantly devious. She was a delicate beauty, but men of the time (AN: and probably of any time period) feared a woman with both looks *and* brains. For her, it was a convenient and deadly combination.  
  
"If you ask me," she continued, "to teach him a lesson, one should destroy his confidence by subtlely chipping away at his mind. Play mind games with him and catch him off guard, forcing him to question his sanity and make him insecure about himself. After some careful planning, one can easily break a strong man like a loaf of bread."  
  
"I always knew you had it in you, Ami-chan," cheered Rei as she lifted her glass in appreciation, clinked hers with Ami's raised glass, and gulped down her tea. "Did you tell Haruka-san about her fellow Uranian nobleman's disreputable actions towards you?"  
  
"Yup, and she was furious that someone would 'disrespect her princess'. If you think I was hard on the man, just wait 'til she gets a hold of him. I almost pity him. But good ol' Haruka-san. I can always depend on her to protect my honor."  
  
"I'll remember to keep that in mind if ever I want some serious revenge," Makoto noted to herself. As if she need anyone's help.  
  
"I don't understand," Serenity complained, "why Mother always sets up these ridiculous 'social couplings'. I understand that this time was entirely not her fault, but what about all the other times? I am old enough to choose my own suitors! I know she is worried about the future of the Silver Millennium, but the future should rest in my hands, not some desperate nobleman."  
  
"But Usa-chan," Minako interrupted, "if it was left up to you, you wouldn't accept meeting anyone. I know you want to find someone on your own, but you yourself are so damn picky. Why don't you let me play matchmaker?"  
  
"Oooooooooh no, Mina-chan!"  
  
"What, have I ever messed up before? After all, I am the Senshi of Love."  
  
Ironically, she had the worst luck finding someone for herself. "It's not that no one wants my company," she'd say, "I just *choose* to remain single. Eligibility is very attractive."  
  
"Fine, do whatever you want, just don't annoy me about it later. It's not that I absolutely hate courting, it's just that I always imagined a fairy tale romance as a little girl, like in the fairy tales Mother used to read me for bedtime. You know, a dashing prince charming to sweep me off my feet-"  
  
"And make me gag until I choke on my own saliva," finished Rei. "Happily-ever-after my pretty ass. Those type of endings only exist in the place from whence they came--fairytale fiction--keyword being 'fiction'. Intoxicated romantics stuck in la-la land make a disgusting amount of money selling those lurid tales."  
  
"Hey!" two offended blondes screeched. It was obvious what made up their personal libraries.  
  
"Whoever said your ass was pretty, anyways?" retorted Sere. The girls loved being more free (and vulgar) with their language after straining protocol and formalities all day. Their parents and elders would be scandalized if they heard the way the girls truly expressed themselves.  
  
"Why Usa-chan! I didn't think you'd notice. I'm flattered!" Rei smirked.  
  
Rei really didn't understand the importance of the male species besides reproduction. To her, they were all the same: needy, grabby, spoiled, useless pigs who care for nothing but themselves. She never gave a poor guy the time of day. She simply and coldly ignored them, not even acknowledging their existence. She couldn't remember how many gifts she had received, which she eventually gave away to her maids.  
  
"Just because you're such a darned pessimist when it comes to men, Rei-chan," continued Serenity, "doesn't give you the right to force the rest of us into your self-created, twisted, husbandless future." She always poked fun at Rei and her spinster destiny while Rei taunted her for her disasterous dates. It was a verbal joust the two best friends enjoyed immensely.  
  
Rei nonchalantly waved off the comment. "Men are not worth my time or attention if none of them make a sincere effort to get inside my mind INSTEAD of getting inside my dress."  
  
At this, Ami had to agree. "Although our dear Rei-chan is being less tactful than preferable, there lies much truth behind her statements. Even if the female anatomy may prove attractive to a male, the mind should, above all, be most important."  
  
"Ha! See? Even *Ami-chan* agrees with me," Rei cried triumphantly. They all respected Ami's opinions deeply since she was the one who was most neutral and fair. "Men are just boys who hit puberty far too early for their own good."  
  
Makoto couldn't resist teasing. "You keep saying things now Rei- chan, but don't be surprised when *your* prince charming comes and rescues you from your world of solitude and-"  
  
WHACK!  
  
The pillow successfully smacked Makoto in the face, being a direct throw from a very pissed-off Rei. Then, the Martian princess doubled over in laughter when Makoto's return fire accidently smashed against Ami's book, which smashed into her innocent forehead.  
  
"Oh, that's it! It is one thing to hit *me* with a pillow in the face, but it is another issue when ruining my brand new History of Science book!"  
  
And so, the Great Pillow Fight began among the squealing princesses. Soon enough, feathers littered the entire floor, and five exhausted feather- covered ladies lay upon their mess. Feathers miraculously found their way into Serenity's ear and up a nostril and got tangled in Minako's long hair. The feathers clung to Ami and Rei's dresses, and Makoto swore she swallowed one as she fell into a coughing fit.  
  
Suddenly, the door opened to reveal a shocked and angry Luna. Luna's flowing navy hair was tied up in four spheres on her head, the common lunar fashion. Her youthful, pretty face was all scrunched up in disapproval at the sight of the messy room. 'These girls will be the early end of me. I found worry wrinkles across my forehead this morning, and I had to pluck out a few white hairs. It might just be easier to dye my hair. I am not paid enough for the hell these "ladies" give me.' Actually, Luna loved the girls as her own daughters, and like most mothers, she was stressed out. Luna, along with Artemis, trained the Senshi since the beginning. Artemis, the tall man with long white hair with the ever present smirk on his lips, was off running an errand. Both of them had the crescent moon symbol on their foreheads like the rest of the Moon's population, and Luna's was flashing in aggrivation.  
  
"Girls, girls! Look at yourselves, the so-called princesses of the Silver Millennium! Dinner is in fifteen minutes, so you all better have this sty cleaned up by then, and for goodness sake, wash up! I can't believe the state of the future *leaders* of the kingdom!" This last statement was muttered. She shuddered after picturing the future of the solar system during their reign. "Disturbing. . ."  
  
And with a slam of the door, Luna stormed out.  
  
"She must be P.M.S.-ing today," guessed Makoto.  
  
"Naw, five gold coins says Artemis embarrassed her by saying she was sexy again," bet Minako.  
  
"I'll challenge that bet," piped Ami. "I deduce she found another white hair."  
  
As always, Ami won the bet, based on later evidence, but refused to take the money. "If I accepted the rewards of all our bets, then none of you could have afforded to buy the dresses on your backs," she stated matter-of-factly.  
  
By 7:20, the room was spotless, thanks to Makoto's passion for clean living, and they were feather-free and on their way to the dining room. When they approached the table where the queen was seated, Serenity kissed her mother's cheek and the rest curtseyed, saying "Good evening, your Highness."  
  
"Good evening, girls," returned the queen warmly. Like Luna, she was like the Senshis' second mother. Ever since they were young, the inner princesses were sent to live in the Moon palace. There, they recieved the highest education and the most expert combat and defense training to be the crown princess's most trusted guardians, and as naturally as their talents came, they all became the best of friends. Princess Serenity trained with them too, but since she followed her mother around most of the time to learn the fundamentals of running a kingdom, the Senshi were far more advanced.  
  
Though each person had an unrelentingly busy schedule, they came together to eat dinner every night. "Everyone" included the queen, the princess, the Senshi, and Luna and Artemis, the royal advisors. The last two sat on either side of the queen, and Serenity and her court curtseyed respectfully to them, and they smiled and nodded. Luna and Artemis both supervised the girl's education and training, but suprisingly, Luna and Artemis were like day and night. Luna was strict and always proper, but Artemis was easygoing, and he loved irritating and hitting on Luna. Everyone knew that the two were madly in love with one another - "Opposites attract!" teased Minako - but Luna vehemently denied it. She would turn bright red, in anger and embarrassment, end the discussion, and storm out of the room in a way that would make Rei look like a timid mouse. Artemis, in his easygoing manner, would just smile mysteriously...and mischievously, and did his best to make Luna blush at least four times a day.  
  
The familiar party took their seats at the table and chatted gaily as the food arrived. Although the girls greeted the elders formally, one would think that they were just a loving family if one was to walk in on them during dinner. Makoto smiled approvingly as she tasted a slice of orange chicken, and the chef was bursting with pride when he recieved praise from the culinary master herself. Happy that he did a job well done, he skipped back to the kitchen.  
  
Halfway during the meal, the queen clinked her glass with her fork to get everyone's attention, and in a split second, they all ceased talking and listened attentively but resumed eating quietly.  
  
"I have splendid news for you all this evening," she began. "Just about an hour ago, I recieved a message from one of my dearest friends. She and her family will vacation here for a good number of weeks, so there will be much more activity and liveliness around here for more than two months. Towards the end of their stay, we will hold a grand ball in their honor."  
  
"Why not hold a grand ball when they first arrive?" inquired Artemis.  
  
"Well, they will want to enjoy their stay here first before having to worry about meeting stiff members of nobility and spoiling the peace with more protocol. My friend is a busy woman, and the last thing she will want when she arrives is more hustle and bustle."  
  
"Of whom are you speaking of, Mother?"  
  
"Do you remember Queen Gwendolyn of Earth, Sere?"  
  
"Oh yes! She is a lovely woman. Do you mean she is coming here?" asked Serenity hopefully.  
  
"Yes she is, and she and her husband and son are arriving tomorrow at three."  
  
At this, Serenity nearly lept with joy. "I can't believe it! He's coming! I haven't seen him since I was, what, ten years old? Can you believe it, I get to see Endymion again!"  
  
Queen Serenity chuckled at her daughter's reaction. "Yes, yes, you get to see your good friend again. I remember when the two of you first met, Sere. I think he was twelve at the time, and you and he became such close playmates. The two of you were practically joined at the hip for the few days the young prince was here."  
  
Serenity never forgot the dark-haired boy she made friends with eight years ago. Although he only spent about a week on the Moon with her, she remembered him very clearly. She never realized how much she missed his goofy yet sweet companionship until now.  
  
Luna decided to join the conversation. "I remember when he had to leave. Sere cried her eyes out that day, and she wouldn't let go of his waist. I had to pry her off the poor boy, and I think I broke a nail in the process."  
  
"Well, he was crying, too!" replied Serenity in her defense. She still remembered how adorable he looked, a twelve year old boy, when he cried like a sissy when he had to leave his new best friend.  
  
"And guess who else Endymion is bringing with him," continued the queen.  
  
"Who?" asked Serenity.  
  
"His guard, the Shittenou of Earth!"  
  
CLINK.  
  
CLINK.  
  
CLINK.  
  
CLINK.  
  
Four sets of spoons and forks dropped noisily against the fine china, and four faces went deathly pale at the mention of the prince's royal guard. Minako's eyebrow furrowed deeply, Makoto bit her lower lip in agitation, Ami was twisting her delicate napkin in her lap, and Rei stared moodily out the window.  
  
This startling reaction was not what the queen expected in the least. She thought the earth guard and the Senshi got along just as well as her Sere and Endymion. 'Am I missing something here?' she thought worriedly. She had to get tothe truth.  
  
"Ami."  
  
"Yes, your Highness?" Ami snapped out of her nervous fidgeting and released the poor napkin. She was pleased to hear that her voice found its usual calm tone.  
  
"Is something the matter? Do you not agree with these plans?"  
  
Ami's face returned to it's natural color and did not betray the panic in her mind. Rei, Minako, and Makoto wanted to tell her what to say through their psychic link, but none of them dared to interrupt Ami's quick problem solving thinking process. It was up to her to come up with a plausible lie. A moment later, Ami cleared her throat.  
  
"No, your Highness. Nothing is the matter. The four of us thought there was something lurking outside. We were just alarmed that someone was spying, but fortunately, it was just a false alarm."  
  
Nice save, Minako said to Ami through their mental link.  
  
Yeah, I thought only Serenity could B.S. to the queen without blinking, joined Rei.  
  
Only the Senshi and Serenity could communicate through mind reading, and only they heard the thoughts circulating among them. Rei was the only one who could recieve and send messages to any person freely because of the psychic powers passed down to each first born of the Martian dynasty. To mind-read people other than the Senshi used up lots of her energy, so Rei chose not to do so unless she found it necessary. In some cases, if the emotions and intentions of another person were incredibly strong, she could sense them easily without even trying.  
  
"Yes," interjected Rei swiftly. "I thought I saw a shadow near the window, which explains why I was staring at it so intently, and the Senshi felt my alarm through our mental link. It turned out to be just a willowy branch, so no harm done."  
  
Minako and Makoto nodded in agreement.  
  
Serenity was tempted to laugh, but Rei threw her a warning look. Serenity knew exactly why they reacted the way they did, but since she did not want to be strangled by her Senshi, she wisely chose to stay quiet. Luna and Artemis also knew the reason for the strange behavior, but they did not wish to upset the queen or hear their charges whine. The two of them watched the act in amusement.  
  
"Oh, alright. I guess that was why you all looked so tense. I am glad it was not a real intruder." Queen Serenity was not completely satisfied, for her instincts told her something was off, but she did not press the matter. If the Senshi found it fit not to tell her, then she would not argue. She really trusted them.  
  
The dinner continued normally, but the Senshi felt their stomachs do somersaults the whole time. They did their best to display good spirits, and they were great actresses, especially Minako. But as soon as dessert was finished, they asked to be excused.  
  
"Just a minute," the queen said, much to their disappointment. "Who will come with me and greet the guests?" The five girls exchanged looks. Of course, Serenity eagerly volunteered. "I know you want to go, Sere, but I was asking your court."  
  
Minako put aside her annoyance and stepped up to her duties. "As leader of the Senshi, I should accompany your Highness to greet the Earth royalty."  
  
You're a brave one, Mina-chan thought Makoto.  
  
I know, I know, answered Minako not so modestly.  
  
To everyone's surprise, Rei volunteered, too. She saw the confusion on their faces, so she explained, "After all, Endymion is my second cousin."  
  
"I must be old, Rei," smiled the queen, "because I almost forgot he was your relative. Good, it is settled then. Sere, Minako, and Rei will accompany me. Luna? Artemis? Will the two of you start preparing for the grand ball, please?"  
  
"Of course, your Highness," Artemis answered. "Any chance to collaborate with the lovely Luna is a chance I'll gladly take advantage of."  
  
Like clockwork, the blood rushed to Luna's face. She then curtseyed to the queen and wished her goodnight, and she quickly told the girls to sleep well, too. Brushing brusquely passed Artemis, she stomped towards the exit and nearly slammed the door off its hinges.  
  
"Goodnight, Luna!" he called to her back. "What? No 'goodnight, Artemis'? How rude." He then bowed deeply to Queen Serenity, patted each girl on the head in a fatherly fashion, and winked at them before returning to his own room. The queen smiled and shook her head. Artemis was no younger than her, yet he still acted like a schoolboy. He probably would always be a schoolboy.  
  
After he left, she turned back to the princesses. "Since I will not be available, Ami and Makoto will meet with the Plutonian representative to settle the trade agreement in the conference room, though that will not take the two of you very long. I'm sure you will have the opportunity to greet our guests later on in the day, alright?"  
  
"Yes, your Highness," replied Ami and Makoto.  
  
"Good. You girls sleep early. We have an eventful day ahead of us. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight," chorused the five young ladies. The girls separated and went to their respective rooms and prepared for bed. Serenity slept like a baby and dreamt wonderful dreams.  
  
Her Senshi hardly got a wink of sleep the whole night.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How was that? The next chapter will go back into the past.  
  
Review!! 


	3. Nice to Meet You AllExcept You

Attention all you dear, lovely, absolutely fabulous readers and reviewers! Wow, I didn't think I'd get any reviews. I'm glad you all find it amusing. School has started, and my schedule is very busy, so if you want me to upload quicker, ENCOURAGE ME!!! Writing is half the fun; knowing other people are enjoying my writing is the other half. I've already written the next chapter, so if you like the story, REVIEW!! It's my only motivation. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does not belong to me, and it never will. Ever. But this story is most assuredly mine.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter Two: Nice to Meet You All...Except You  
  
*Eight Years Ago*  
  
Queen Serenity stood impatiently at the portal, located in the middle of the Royal Lunar Temple, waiting for the silhouette of her friend to appear. Her nervousness was apparent; she wrung her dress till her knuckles turned white. Her friend was about thirty minutes late, which was so not like Gwendolyn, and worried thoughts began to pop into her head. Did something horrible happen on the way? Was the Terran queen sick? Did they lose their luggage on the way? Did a war on Earth suddenly break out?! All sorts of "what ifs" swam in her mind, each more troubling and more ridiculous than the last.  
  
Her little girl, who stood up to her waist with golden pigtails hanging down to her knees, waited right beside her, but without the anticipation. She heard stories of her mother's friend from earth before, the kind Queen Gwendolyn, and she really liked the woman without ever meeting her, but did her mother have to pull her away from her friends during a game of hide and seek and give her nothing to do while they waited? The Earth queen was almost half an hour late, and the Princess was going insane with boredom. 'I had a really good hiding spot, too,' she mentally whined. Then she mentally kicked herself; princesses didn't whine, and she was grown up too - a whole ten years old! Little Serenity straightened her spine and tried to impersonate her mother's regal attitude, only to sink back into her former attitude a minute later.  
  
To her relief, she saw a bright red sailor uniform in the distance approaching them. "Rei-chan!" young Serenity squealed happily, thankful to have a friend with her. Rei was two years Serenity's senior. At first glance, the two were complete opposites, and they really were, but in reality, they were closer than sisters. Rei was like an older, protective sister, and Serenity usually ran to her for advice first. And just like sisters, they squabbled over petty things.  
  
When Rei came up to them, she curtseyed prettily to the queen.  
  
Serenity admired her friend's natural grace. Rei was only two years older than she, but Rei presented herself like the perfect proper lady without breaking a sweat. Everyone had high hopes for the Martian princess, and Serenity was relieved to have someone dependable like Rei to help her if whenever she screwed up badly.  
  
"Good afternoon, your Highness."  
  
"Hello, Rei dear."  
  
"My relatives are not here yet?"  
  
"Relatives?" interrupted Little Serenity.  
  
Her mother answered for Rei. "I forgot to mention to you, Sere. Queen Gwendolyn is cousins with Rei's mother."  
  
"Oh, okay." Serenity gave her friend a tight hug, and Rei tugged on Serenity's pigtail in sisterly affection, eliciting a satisfying "ouch!".  
  
"Careful, Usa-chan, I just ironed my skirt!"  
  
"But your skirt is always annoyingly perfect. I was helping you look more normal." Then in all her princess glory, she stuck her tongue out.  
  
The queen thought that correcting her daughter would just be hopeless. And it would have been.  
  
In another instant, the columns around them in the circular room began to glow a warm white, and just as suddenly, blindingly bright beams shot out from each pillar to the center of the floor where a flawless mirror was set in the marble tile. The ribbon of light reflected upwards to create a tall, two-dimensional doorway, and in the doorway, Queen Serenity was happy to see a familiar figure.  
  
A tall woman walked through the illuminated door, waves of ebony hair spilling down her back and the long train of her royal blue dress streaming after her like the waters of Earth. Her beautiful face was wholesome and welcoming, and her brilliant smile reached passed her lovely light magenta eyes, which instantly met the silvery-blue eyes of Queen Serenity. Rei was able to pick up a well-remembered inside joke between the two gazes of the queens, but Little Serenity was so captivated by the beautiful newcomer that she didn't notice at the time.  
  
"No Serenity, I did not stop there on the way here."  
  
"I can never quite predict your actions, Gwen."  
  
"But you know I wouldn't go there without bringing you."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
The two young girls watched this strange exchange, and the two queens grasped both hands together and laughed, to Little Serenity's horror, like little schoolgirls. When the two women separated from a crushing bear hug, Gwendolyn shifted her gaze to the young girls, first settling her gaze on Rei and kneeling down to meet her cousin's attractive daughter.  
  
"Rei dearest, you've grown into a lovely young lady since I last saw you," said she as she lightly stroked Rei's hair. Rei wrapped her arms around her neck for a warm hug and kissed the woman on the cheek.  
  
"I've missed you, Auntie Gwen."  
  
"I've missed you, too. So does Endymion. Is your mother well?"  
  
"Yes, she is very well."  
  
"Good. Send my regards for me."  
  
"I will, Auntie."  
  
Queen Gwendolyn then looked at the short blonde girl standing next to Serenity Sr. "This must be your beautiful daughter, Serenity."  
  
"Yes she is. Sere, this is my old friend, Queen Gwendolyn of Earth. Gwen, this is my daughter, Princess Usagi Serenity II."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Princess Serenity," said the terran queen to the petite Lunarian royal.  
  
"Please call me Sere, your Majesty."  
  
"Then I must insist that you call me Queen Gwen."  
  
Serenity looked to her mother for assurance, and the Moon queen nodded, so the little princess curtseyed and said, "Thank you for visiting us from afar, Queen Gwen."  
  
"She's adorable," whispered the queen of Earth to Serenity Sr. Serenity smiled proudly at her daughter.  
  
"Gwen, where is your husband?"  
  
"James? He had some last minute matters to take care of, which was the reason for my tardiness, so he will arrive any second now with Endymion. My son wanted to bring his friends along, the princes of the four hemispheres of Earth and Endymion's future royal guard, with him on our little holiday, so they were delayed a bit in the teleport because of the extra luggage. I'm sorry I couldn't inform you earlier of the extra company. Do you mind?"  
  
"Of course not, Gwen. The more, the merrier." She couldn't have said so at a better time, for at that moment, the portal opened up again and through walked an enormous figure, so big that Little Serenity cowered behind her mother. Atop the man's dark grey hair was a golden circlet, but the man looked not too much older than his youthful-looking wife. He had a very muscular build, but one look at his jolly face erased the first impression of his domineering stature. Following him was a young boy, about twelve years old, whose dark hair matched his mother and whose navy blue eyes were inherited from his father. Beside the boy were four other boys only a little older than him and all just as good-looking, though all of them had quite contrasting physical features.  
  
"What took you so long, husband?" inquired Gwendolyn. "Was the teleport being unagreeable, or did your mansculine pride lead you in the wrong direction?"  
  
"For your information, encouraging wife mine, I did ask the station guide for directions."  
  
"After Father led us into the wrong gateway three times," added the dark-haired prince.  
  
"Mmm hmm," mumbled the Earth queen knowingly as she glanced sideways at Serenity Sr., eyebrow arched sarcastically.  
  
Quickly changing the subject, King James addressed Queen Serenity. "My, my, Serenity, you look chipper, as always. You haven't changed since last I saw you; you look marvelous!"  
  
"You flatter me," returned the queen modestly.  
  
"No, no. I must save up my powers of flattery for whenever my Gwen is mad at me. Hello there, Rei."  
  
"Hello, Uncle."  
  
"Have you practiced to become that skilled archer you vowed to be?"  
  
"I hope I can be as good as you, Uncle."  
  
"Capital! I will have to challenge you later."  
  
"I look forward to it, Uncle."  
  
"But who's there behind you, Serenity?"  
  
"Oh, James, this is my daughter, Princess Usagi Serenity II, though she will insist you call her Sere. Sere, this is King James V of Earth."  
  
"Welcome to the Moon, your Majesty," Little Serenity greeted automatically as she curtseyed.  
  
"What an angel! Just like her mother. Allow me to introduce my son, crown Prince Endymion, heir to the Terran throne. Son, this is Queen Serenity of the Silver Millennium and her daughter, heiress to the Silver Millennium."  
  
At the mention of his name, the dark-haired boy stepped forward and bowed to the queen. Then he bowed to Little Serenity, and Serenity curtseyed to him. When he finally met her face to face, he gave her a quirky grin. The look he gave her said "don't you hate formalities?" and she grinned back at him. Serenity couldn't help but notice how much he resembled his mother and Rei. 'Of course, Usagi you idiot, they're related!' her mind screamed.  
  
Endymion's voice broke her train of thought. "Hello, Cousin Rei!" he said cheerily. It was apparant to Little Serenity that the two were pretty close, though why Rei never mentioned him to her, she never knew.  
  
"How are you, Cousin Endy?"  
  
"Ever since you melted one of my boots, I've been very wary around fires."  
  
"Ah yes," smiled Rei nostalgically. "Good times."  
  
"Good times, good times," repeated Endymion as he and Rei patted each other on the backs like two old people reminiscing about their golden years. The adults around them were highly amused. Serenity Jr. noticed the four other boys watching the two cousins' conversation in interest as she was.  
  
"Now," cut in King James, "I'd like to introduce Endymion's future guard, the heirs of their respective hemispheres of Earth: the princes Kunzite, Jadeite, Nephrite, and Zoisite. Gentlemen, this is Queen Serenity, Princess Serenity, and Princess Rei, the heiress of the Martian dynasty."  
  
Obediently, the four minor princes followed the example of their crown prince. Rei nodded her head mutely to them in her most regal manner. As future guardian of Princess Serenity, she had to take careful note of any warrior, even if they were her cousin's upcoming guardians, for the safety of her princess. The four young soldiers, the oldest of the four no more than fifteen, regarded her in the same critical manner. She decided they would not be a problem, and they seemed to accept her as well, except for one of them. That one particular person, a boy with short blonde hair, looked at her too snobbishly for her tolerance.  
  
She disliked him already.  
  
At least the two of them found something in common: they hated each other already. 'What a priss,' thought young Jadeite. 'This chick's nose is pointed up so high, I'm surprised no spaceships hovering above have collided into in.'  
  
Queen Serenity's gentle voice interrupted their heated, vicious staring contest. "Now that all the pleasantries are over and done with, how about a nice cup of tea and pastries? I believe Princess Makoto is experimenting in the kitchen today, and she is a great cook. I'm nearly a third of a millennia older than that talented young girl, and I'm not even a fraction as good a chef as she is."  
  
"Don't worry, Serenity. We know you can hardly boil water."  
  
"Hush, Gwen. Speak for yourself."  
  
"Guilty as charged," and she raised up her hands for effect.  
  
"Mother? Father?"  
  
"Yes, Endymion?" answered King James.  
  
"May I go around and explore the palace and garden grounds? You have such an interesting estate, your Highness."  
  
The queen was quite pleased with the compliment, for she made sure the grounds were kept in picture perfect shape. Little Serenity jumped at the chance to make a new friend, as such was her nature. "I will show the prince around, Mother! Oh please, it will be lots of fun, and I can give a grand tour and continue my hide-and-go-seek game with him!" She then utilized her special puppy dog look - a step up from the normal pleading look but not as pitiful as the 'damsel in distress' look - for emphasis.  
  
"That sounds fun! May I, Father?" asked Endymion, his voice hopeful.  
  
The king and Queen Serenity looked at one another, and the king nodded. "Alright," agreed the queen, "but you must come in by sunset and wash up for dinner."  
  
Little Serenity and Endymion thanked their parents effusively and pardoned themselves. Serenity grabbed Endymion's hand, and the two children ran off together, laughing and chatting the whole way until they disappeared from the adults' sight.  
  
"I'm glad they get along so well!" commented Queen Gwendolyn. Her husband and Queen Serenity were just as delighted to see their children become good friends within the first few minutes of their acquaintance.  
  
The servants, who watched and gossiped amongst themselves to the side the whole time, started to carry away the suitcases to the exclusive guest quarters, which reminded the queen of the other four guests. "Rei? Will you escort our guests to their chambers, please? I'm sure they want to see their rooms and organize their belongings to their liking."  
  
"Yes, your Highness."  
  
"Thank you, Rei. If you need me, I shall be at the gazebo in the Gardens of Selene." With that said, Endymion's friends bowed as Rei curtseyed to the retreating elder royals.  
  
So Rei was left alone with them...with HIM.  
  
She really didn't like the kid.  
  
And from the strong vibes she sensed from the so-called Prince Jadeite, she knew the feeling was mutual.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
IMPORTANT: Sorry, this chapter was just to bring in characters, so it wasn't that funny, but I promise the next chapter will be much better, and it will go back in the _present_time_. Don't get confused. I will be skipping back and forth from past and present, but it will be really easy to follow if you read the story the whole way through and not skip around.  
  
Thanks to the readers! Now, REVIEW! 


	4. Boys Will be Boys

Disclaimer: I, the author of this fanfic, do not own Sailor Moon. You'd have to be stupid to believe that I did. If you think that I own Sailor Moon, my point has been proven.  
  
Notes: If the male characters seem out of character, keep in mind, this is a comedy/romance. If I left them they way they were, it would not be funny. I'm not talented enough to play fairly. ^_~  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
***Current ages of characters:  
  
Senshi:  
  
Rei - 20  
  
Ami - 19  
  
Minako - 20  
  
Makoto - 21  
  
Princess Serenity - 18  
  
Shittenou:  
  
Jadeite - 21  
  
Zoisite - 21  
  
Kunzite - 23  
  
Nephrite - 22  
  
Prince Endymion - 20  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter Three: Boys Will be Boys  
  
*Present time on Earth*  
  
The steam in the showers of the distinguished Terran gymnasium made an almost opague fog, and five young and handsome gentlemen were washing the sweat and stink off their bodies in separate stalls that were connected together side by side, each stall sharing a wall with the next. One would have to jump high up to see over the barrier to the next stall, though none of them desired to do so, but one could see a person's feet in the next immediate stall. The five men had just completed a vigorous workout, and each one of them walked away with badges of honor. In other words, none of them got away without huge purplish and green bruises decorating their skin.  
  
"I totally whipped you today, Neph," gloated the man with shiny black hair. Crown Prince Endymion Anima-Mundi was a dashing young man with hair as black as ink and eyes of a blue storm. His pleasing features were inherited from his mother, but his height and muscular build was definitely that of his father. He acquired characteristics from both sides of the family, creating a perfect balance: he was a born athlete, yet he also excelled in academics. Endymion trusted his feelings, but logic was never thrown out the window. His ambitious nature was quite admirable, and although he was surely a man's man, he was a sensitive spirit as well, and most of the females of the planet, and possibly of the galaxy, fawned over him.  
  
The prince's companions were all kings of their own territories, but because his family was in power over the entire planet, the four kings, the famous Shittenou, pledged their full loyalty to the superior reigning family. The Shittenou were Endymion's personal guardians, but they were best buddies above all. They spent almost everyday together, and because the four main territories melded together, the Shittenou worked closely together diplomatically as well. The kings were all in their early twenties, but they ruled as if they had been ruling for decades, and their subjects truly respected them.  
  
"You're so damn full of it, Endymion. You only won because I had one arm tied behind my back, and not to mention, I was blindfold," shouted the sore man over the stall.  
  
"But technically, that still means I won."  
  
Nephrite was too tired to argue, so he gave up entirely. Plus, compared to how many times he had beaten Endymion senseless, *without* the prince being handicapped, he didn't need to bother.  
  
Nephrite Jusdivinum was Earth's king of the Southern Hemisphere. He was the tallest of the group, and he was probably the most physically powerful. Even his facial features were strong and angular, and his breathtaking good looks were praised around the globe. His long, chocolatey brown hair flowed down mid-back, and his eyes were a complimentary, warm coffee color. Nephrite's hobby was stargazing and fortune telling, being talents he was born with, and he was quite the philosopher. His comrades strongly believed in his infallible intuition, and his followers praised his genuine humanitarianism.  
  
"Hey Nephrite," continued Endymion, "I dropped the soap and it slid into your stall. Could you bend over and pick it up for me?"  
  
"No way, Endy. I'm not falling for that," joked Nephrite.  
  
"Nephrite!" barked a young man with long white hair. "I'm ashamed of you! I would have expected a comment like that from Jadeite." Jadeite's shout of, "You stole my joke, Nephrite!" proved Kunzite's point. "It's an old joke, anyway," Nephrite countered.  
  
"Just give me my bar of soap!"  
  
"No!" Nephrite blatantly refused. "I don't know what you've washed with the soap, and I don't want to know, so I won't touch it." Humanitarianism was forgotten for the moment.  
  
"Fine!" snapped Endymion. "Does anyone else have an extra soap bar?"  
  
"Do you know what will stop those slippery soap problems?" asked another of his companions, this one having long blonde hair, in a voice that sounded like a preppy salesman. He didn't wait for an answer. "Two words: liquid soap." Having bestowed his words of wisdom, Zoisite threw his bottle of liquid soap over to Endymion's stall, two stalls to his left. He heard Endymion's gurgled "thank you".  
  
"Guess what I have planned for tomorrow night," continued Zoisite.  
  
Jadeite pondered for a second. "Judging by your disgustingly jolly mood, I'd say you have planned an evening with a lady." The rest shouted their agreements over the rushing water.  
  
"Right you are, Jed my boy! I shall be spending tomorrow night with Lady Breezie."  
  
"Wait--you mean Lady Sleezy-Breezie-Oh-So-Easy?" choked Jadeite.  
  
"The one and only," boasted Zoisite.  
  
"Not bad."  
  
"But hardly a woman you'd take home to your mother," cut in Kunzite severely. "Don't even bother wasting your time with women. They're untrustworthy, scheming creatures. And if you choose to, at least pick someone without such a...reputation."  
  
King Kunzite Acoupsur of the Northern Hemisphere was the senior officer of the Shittenou because of his iron leadership and superior powers. No one could compare to the awesome etheral power and energy of Commander Kunzite. He was only twenty-three, but his shoulder-length hair was already a glittering platinum color. It added a sophisticated touch to his youthful, strikingly handsome face. His skin was tanned; he was a superb outdoorsman, and an even better soldier. Though people usually saw the impassive or stern expression on his face and the domineering officer in his stone-gray eyes, his close comrades saw his compassion and wry humor.  
  
"I hate to spoil your 'fun', but the queen said she had planned a long-time excursion starting tomorrow, remember?"  
  
Zoisite was disappointed, but he knew Lady Breezie would be free another time. In fact, ANY time. To make himself feel better, he started the Shittenou's and the crown Prince's favorite pastime: getting Kunzite angry. "What have you got against the fairer sex, Kunzite? Women are wonderful creatures. Unless you're..."  
  
"Shut up, Zoi. I already know what you're going to say. So NO, I am *not* homosexual. No, no, NO. I am straight-"  
  
"As the letter 'U'," blurted Jadeite.  
  
"Damnit! For the last time, NO! What is it with all of you and gay jokes about me anyway?"  
  
Endymion couldn't resist. "Why Kunz! Why are you so defensive about it? I mean, if what you were saying was true, you wouldn't sound so insecure-"  
  
"Endymion," Kunzite abrubtly interrupted, "if you were not my liege, I would tackle you and beat you to a pulp right now."  
  
"Sorry Kunzite, I don't wrestle with naked men in the shower. But if you're not homosexual, why are you acting so disgusted? I know! You're prejudiced!"  
  
"Prejudiced!" echoed Nephrite.  
  
"No, I am not prejudiced," stated Kunzite. "In fact, I have met the Princesses Michiru and Haruka of Neptune and Uranus, respectively, and I think they are one of the a finest couples I've had the pleasure of knowing."  
  
"Yeah, they are *fine*," sighed Zoisite, picturing the two attractive princesses in his mind, plus other unmentionable things.  
  
"Not 'fine' in that way, you nitwit," Kunzite scolded. "But I think it's time we get out. I'm suffocating in here." The others agreed, so they wrapped towels around their waists and headed for the locker room to change.  
  
"FIRE!" cried one of the occupants of the locker room once Endymion opened the door. The man didn't realize it was just the huge cloud of steam from the showers.  
  
A while later, the five men gathered in the royal recreational room, located in the south wing of the high palace of Earth - properly titled the Imperial Terran Citadel. Kunzite and Jadeite sat at the circular oak table playing cards while Nephrite, Endymion, and Zoisite were at the pool table. Zoisite was a master of billiards, and he was far in the lead. Nephrite and Endymion hadn't even had a crack at the cue ball yet.  
  
"Next time, Zoisite does not get to go first," complained Nephrite. Endymion was just glad that they hadn't bet money this time. He remembered the first time he played pool with Zoisite. All five of them were playing, and it was Zoisite's first game ever, so the other four thought beating Zoisite would be easy money. By the end of the night, Zoisite wiped their personal bank accounts squeaky clean.  
  
"Billiards is all about angles and force," explained Zoisite nonchalantly.  
  
The king of the Eastern Hemisphere, Zoisite Aufait, was well-built and impossibly gorgeous, with his bright forest green eyes and long, curly, strawberry blonde hair, which he chose to tie back in a loose ponytail. And he knew he was gorgeous. Zoisite was the quintessential dignified royal in court, but once he exited those court doors, he was the notorious playboy. He had whatever girl he set after; however, women always came to him. But he was far more than a pretty face. He was a human computer; he processed information at the speed of light and memorized statistics in one glance. His mind was a massive storage room of information.  
  
Kunzite and Endymion had played billiards since they were small lads and were virtually experts, and Nephrite was quite experienced as well. Jadeite was a decent player, but he was the deity of cheating, and because he cheated so subtlely, no one could prove he was cheating. They could only find out if he was cheating if Jadeite himself confessed on his own will. "Yeah, I swindled you all, but I can't believe you guys didn't notice. It was so obvious! If you'd pay just a little smidge of attention to me more, you'd figure out that I was up to no good, but noooooooo, no one pays attention to little ol' Jadeite! I'm practically screaming out for attention here!"  
  
Jadeite was not allowed to go within seven feet of a pool table from then on.  
  
"Cheater!" accused Kunzite after Jadeite had won the fifth game of cards. "Do we have to ban you from the card table as well?"  
  
"For your information," said Jadeite, more than a little hurt, "I always play an honest hand in cards. I come from a long line of expert gamblers and card players; it's in my blood. Trust me-"  
  
Kunzite raised his eyebrow.  
  
"-this time. Plus, I don't play con artist if money is not involved. That would be petty."  
  
"Knowing you, you might do it for practice," grumbled Kunzite.  
  
"I'm so glad you have so much faith in me, Kunz. Anyways, I don't need practice," Jadeite added conceitedly.  
  
The Western Hemisphere's strapping King Jadeite Amerveille, a.k.a "Jed", was an interesting character. His short, wavy hair was as luminous as the rays of the sun, which contrasted beautifully with his azure eyes. He looked like a fallen angel, gracing the land with his heavenly appearance.  
  
But he raised more hell than the devil himself.  
  
Watching his temper flare up was like witnessing a volcano erupting, and he spoke exactly what was on his mind. But Jadeite was also a jester in king's clothing, and he bounced around like a child who was fed too much sugar. He was volatile and comedic at the same time, but he was sarcastic and arrogant from dusk 'til dawn. Like a light switch, he could turn into a debonair prince charming (popular with the ladies), or he could switch into the fearless, rough-and-tumble warrior (popular with the men). Jadeite had many different faces, but each personality was entirely him.  
  
Before Kunzite could get his hands around Jadeite's tempting neck, a knock was heard from the door, and the queen's young hand maid, in her navy tweed dress with gold embroidery (the colors of the Terran palace uniform), entered. "Your Highness," she adressed the prince as she curtseyed, "The king and queen want you to meet them in the royal library in five minutes."  
  
"Alright, Rosemary," he replied. With the way Zoisite was playing, it didn't seem he'd get the chance to play anyway. Before Rosemary the maid exited the recreational room, Zoisite gave her one of his trademark flirtatious winks, and she in turn blushed deeply.  
  
"Would you stop hitting on the maids?" queried Nephrite. "I don't think it's a very professional thing to do."  
  
"Hey, a woman is meant to be cherished and complimented," returned Zoisite.  
  
"Fine. But the old servants too?"  
  
"If I make an old woman's day, why not?"  
  
"Yeah, he's just doing his share of community service," drawled Jadeite as he shuffled the cards.  
  
"I wonder what my parents want to say to me," thought Endymion out loud. "Oh well, I'll find out in a couple minutes. Say, Kunz, will you play for me while I'm gone? Zoisite might even go easy on you."  
  
"Sure, Endy."  
  
Endymion walked into the library to see his beautiful mother and father sitting snugly together on one of the leather couches with their heads bent over the same book. It was a touching sight, the perfect picture of domestic tranquility. Although his mother and father were from two different worlds, metaphorically and literally speaking, they were a match made in heaven, and time never changed that. He hated to interrupt them in such a state, but he remembered that they had called him. "Good evening Father. Good evening Mother."  
  
They both looked up with smiling faces. "How was training today, Son?" inquired King James. "The Shittenou weren't too hard on you today, were they?" he joked. He'd seen his son on days when the Shittenou were in a foul mood, and the end result was not pretty, but he believed that his son needed the toughest blows to become the toughest warrior prince. No pain, no gain, indeed.  
  
"They let me win today, but someday, I'll be able to take all four of them down." Endymion knew that would never happen, unless he used the Golden Crystal. The Golden Crystal was only used in grave emergencies, so that would be cheating. Even Jadeite wouldn't cheat like that.  
  
"Endymion, would you do something for me?" The queen's voice was so gentle and congenial yet so sure, and it sounded like music, even to a deaf ear. Endymion couldn't deny his dear mother anything, and he'd gladly do anything for her.  
  
"Of course, Mother."  
  
"Pass on to the Shittenou what your father and I are about to tell you."  
  
"Surely I will, but what is it you want to tell me, Mother? Father?"  
  
Queen Gwendolyn's face brightened up instantly. "Very, very good news, Endymion...."  
  
Half and hour later, Endymion returned to the recreational room, the happiness glowing obviously upon his face. When he heard the news, he kissed his father's cheek and shook his mother's hand, and he danced them around the library. He was still dancing when he entered the room, and the Shittenou looked at him worriedly.  
  
"Zoisite, you're a medical man. What's wrong with Endy?"  
  
"Nothing, Kunz. I think he's just experiencing overwhelming joy."  
  
Nehprite wasn't convinced. "I think he's really gone crazy. Look at him. He looks pathetic." Endymion tried to waltz Jadeite around the room, but Jadeite successfully got the prince back to his senses by punching him hard on the shoulder. "Get away from me, you freak!" yelled Jadeite. "I'm not like that!"  
  
"Owwww...geez, did you have to hit me *that* hard?" whined the prince.  
  
"Sorry, but I didn't want to dance around like a dandy. Like you. With you. You're smiling like an idiot," Jadeite added for good measure.  
  
"Well, let's see who'll look like the idiot in a moment," Endymion replied cryptically. "I, my ignorant friends, have been informed by my mum and pa about some very interesting news." Endymion was trying to figure out a way to put whatever he was going to say lightly. The news was the best thing that he could hear about, but he didn't know how the Shittenou would take it. Yet the excitement was killing him, and the suspense drove his guardians mad.  
  
"Okay, now out with it," ordered Kunzite.  
  
"Patience is a virtue," quoted Nephrite, but the quote was hollow to him as well.  
  
"Alright, alright, don't rush. My parents have told me about their plans for tomorrow. It turns out that they've planned a long vacation for all of us that will last for about two and a half months."  
  
All the Shittenou cheered, even Kunzite the Business Man, at the mention of a vacation. They hadn't had a vacation since that one day eight years ago....though that turned out to be more of a nightmare.  
  
'How long will their joy last?' thought the prince. He continued on an infinitely lighter note: "I walked in so happily because we will vacation where I will see one of my best friends, and I haven't seen this friend for many, many years."  
  
"Hold on." Nephrite then walked to the open window and looked up at the starlit sky. It was a full moon that night, and the lake glistened in the silver shower of moonbeams, the ripples moving in harmony with the gentle wind. The breeze blew lightly through his long auburn hair. He searched the heavens for an answer to his question: who was Endymion talking about? The action was unnecessary, since Endymion was going to tell them anyway, but Nephrite took advantage of any chance when he could indulge in his stargazing hobby. He finally broke the heavy silence after two minutes. "You are going to see...Princess Serenity of the Moon!"  
  
"Bravo, Nephrite! How did you know?" Endymion was truly amazed. "You have really gotten down that stargazing bit."  
  
"Well, yes, the stars confirmed it for me, but I actually figured it out before I looked up to the sky."  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"You had that silly, blissful puppy love look when I first walked over to the window to look at the full moon. I saw your reflection in the window."  
  
"That was anticlimactic," retorted Jadeite.  
  
"Back to the point," Endymion inserted, "Yes, I will be seeing the wonderful Usa- I mean, the Princess of the Silver Millennium. As you may remember, my mother and Queen Serenity are best friends."  
  
"As you and the princess," Kunzite remarked, a nearly nonexistent smile on his lips.  
  
"As Princess Serenity and I," confirmed Endymion, almost shyly. "So [pause] are you four alright with that?"  
  
Zoisite was getting suspicious, and he fixed Endymion with a critical eye. "Why wouldn't we be?"  
  
"Umm-" Endymion was really starting to sweat "-well, the princess is now a mature lady, and it would improper if a male bodyguard escorted her everywhere she went."  
  
"Okay, so what does that have to do with us?"  
  
"I mean that Serenity would need...female guardians."  
  
"But Endy," said Jadeite, "none of us can do anything about that. Although Zoisite is the most feminine..."  
  
"I resent that."  
  
'Why don't any of them get it?!' Endymion's inner voice howled. 'Don't they remember? Geez, we men *are* idiots.'  
  
"No! I meant that she already *has* female guardians."  
  
Realization _finally_ struck Zoisite, like a lightning bolt striking him while soaked from head to toe. The blood disappeared from his face, and he started to tremble uncontrollably. 'The horror, the horror!' his mind wailed.  
  
"No! NO!!! Not them! Not _HER_!!! Oh God, not her!!!"  
  
"Zoisite! What is your malfunction, man?" Kunzite ran over to his comrade and shook Zoisite's shoulders violently. The panicking man wouldn't respond, so the high commander gave him a good back-handed slap.  
  
"Thanks, Kunz, I-I needed that."  
  
"What were you screaming about?"  
  
Zoisite fell silent. He couldn't bring himself to say it, to say their name. His three fellow kings were painfully aware of the anxiety saturating the air. Nephrite tried to appear calm, leaning leisurely against his cue stick, and Kunzite held his stick in both hands, parallel to the ground. Jadeite sat back in his chair, shuffling the cards quickly, his eyes cast down. He didn't want them to see the worried look in his eyes and have them think he was a sissy. He just felt it. Nephrite's intuition was sending alarming signals, and for good reason.  
  
Zoisite found his voice again. "Endy's talking about...them..." but his voice trailed off again.  
  
"Gee, that helps." Insert Jadeite's sarcasm here.  
  
Zoisite looked over to his prince pleadingly for help.  
  
Endymion sighed. They had to know, sooner or later. "Zoisite has just figured out what I was talking about, although I thought the rest of you would have picked up on my obvious hints. I'm certain none of you can forget. I was talking about-" Dramatic pause. "-the Senshi."  
  
Nephrite lost his balance and actually fell flat on his face.  
  
Kunzite broke his cue stick in half.  
  
Cards flew everywhere, each person hit in the face with at least three cards. Jadeite was too stunned to clean up the mess.  
  
"Shittenou!"  
  
The four kings snapped back to attention at the bark of their charge. Prince Endymion only used that tone of voice and form of address whenever he took on a no-nonsense governmental persona, which was rare.  
  
"We are leaving tomorrow afternoon," said the prince in a drill sergeant manner, "at three o'clock in the afternoon, sharp. Pack all your essential things tonight. We will not return to Earth for almost three months, so be absolutely prepared. If you do forget something, we can send for any forgotten items later on. His Majesty King James and Her Majesty Queen Gwendolyn expect to see all of you at the teleport at two-forty-five. Sleep early, for tomorrow we will awaken early to take care of unfinished business. Goodnight, gentlemen." It hurt Endymion to know his close friends were seriously unhappy, but he couldn't help but feel light- hearted. His Serenity, his playmate from eight years ago, the girl he had a crush on for the week he'd known her, and the girl he dreamed of seeing again, was waiting for him, and not even his reluctant guardians could get in his way.  
  
Their headaches stopped them from trying.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Did'ja enjoy that little bit? Welp, if you didn't, it doesn't matter, because I had a lotta fun writing it. If you noticed, the last names of the four kings and the prince actually mean something in another language.  
  
Endymion Anima-Mundi: anima mundi (Latin) - world spirit  
  
Kunzite Acoupser: a coup sur (French) - with sure stroke; confidently  
  
Nephrite Jusdivinum: jus divinum (Latin) - divine law  
  
Jadeite Amerveille: a merveille (French) - wonderfully; to perfection  
  
Zoisite Aufait - au fait (French) - well-informed; expert; to the point; socially correct  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: BACK TO THE PAST!!!  
  
Review!! 


	5. Battle of the Sexes Round One!

Back to the Past! Be prepared for insanity! In this chapter and the next chapter, Makoto and Ami butt heads with Nephrite and Zoisite. The guys may act like total meanies in this chapter, but the two girls play just as dirty in the next.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Sailor Moon, would I be wasting away my life in front of this computer? Yeah, that's what I thought. I own nothing. I was a deprived child. -_-  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter Four: Battle of the Sexes--Round One!!!  
  
*Past--Eight Years Ago--Moon Palace*  
  
Young Princess Rei did her best to play polite hostess as she led the four young Earth princess to their private chambers, asking the guests about their home planet and giving short descriptions about some of the palace's architecture and history. She spoke kindly and noncommittally to them, but all the while ignoring that blonde-haired boy who looked at her so superciliously earlier. Jadeite looked the other way during the entire conversation between his friends and the red sailor-senshi-in-training. Rei didn't make an effort to get to know any of them, but she made small talk just to keep the awkwardness at bay. Kunzite, Nephrite, and Zoisite found Princess Rei to be a well-bred and intelligent though all five of them still kept the reserved air around them.  
  
The palace of the Moon completely awed them. Not even their glorious castles on Earth could compare to the splendor of the palace. The columns and walls were a gleaming white, as if the building was just built, and the gold and silver decorations imprinted on the walls shined in pride. All sorts of classical paintings, some hundreds of years old, of peaceful landscapes, smiling people, and lively events, lined the walls, which seemed to come to life under the soft light of the shaded lamps. The halls of the Moon palace were elegantly and richly decorated, with all sorts of display cases set along the way, and they were incredibly spacious as well, the width of each hall being about forty-five feet.  
  
But two egos were squeezing their way through.  
  
'Can't this haughty girl talk about something more interesting,' thought young Jadeite scornfully. 'She's no different than those other royal brats. Her long hair takes up to much head space. How does she fit in a brain?'  
  
'Moody prick,' Rei's inner voice sneered. 'He's not the type of guest I'd even allow to step foot on my planet.'  
  
Rei was so engrossed in her thoughts that she suddenly had to stop when she realized that they had finally reached their destination. This startled Kunzite, so he stopped dead in his tracks as well, causing the other two behind him to smack into his back and each other. Jadeite's head was still pointed away from them, so he didn't see their unexpected stop. He rammed into Zoisite hard and tumbled backward, ending up with his back against the ground and his legs spread apart in the air.  
  
"Ouuuch..."  
  
Rei covered her mouth to hide her evil grin, but his companions out right lauged at him. Great friends, huh?  
  
"You okay, buddy?" Nephrite chuckled as he helped his fallen friend up.  
  
"Peachy, Neph. Just peachy," groaned Jadeite, rubbing his behind. 'That's gonna leave a mark.'  
  
"I'm sorry," said Rei, not a trace of sympathy in her voice, "I was so lost in thought that I almost walked past your rooms."  
  
"That's alright. I do that a lot," assured Zoisite.  
  
Rei took out a golden key and unlocked the door, then handed the key to Kunzite. The room was equipped with anything for comfort or entertainment, and the decor was mainly a medieval theme, with decorative swords hanging over the mantle. The boys felt that their stay would be quite a nice one. "Well, these are your quarters during your stay. If you need anything, just pull on that silk rope next to each bed. A servant will hear the bell and come to your service immediately. Feel free to explore the palace grounds; their are maps located in the desk drawers just in case. Breakfast and lunch are served when you find the time convenient, but dinner is served exactly at seven-thirty. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask me." She shook the hands of each prince congenially, but when she and Jadeite shook hands, they tested each other's strength, and both of them were frighteningly strong. Before she went out the door, she wished them a pleasant stay, and then she was gone.  
  
Jadeite secretly nursed his fingers behind his back. 'That's gonna leave a mark, too.'  
  
He took the opportunity to vent about his mistrust of the fire senshi. "That girl is the devil incarnate! Did you all see the way she stared daggers at me?"  
  
"Jed, everyone who first meets you thinks you're an asshole," reminded Kunzite. Zoisite and Nephrite nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, I thought that when I first met you," added Nephrite.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Face it Jed. You're a prick. Some of us are good with the ladies," and here Zoisite ran a hand vainly through his long hair, "and some of us, meaning just *you*, are not."  
  
"BACK TO THE POINT," said Jadeite stubbornly, "did you see the way she flicked her hair. Talk about vanity. She's worse than you, Zoi. And the way she wears her sailor skirt? Can we say 'slut'?"  
  
"Better not let anyone hear you say that, Jadeite," warned Kunzite, "because that's the required uniform of Princess Serenity's future guard. They will kill you if you say that to them, and I really don't feel like saving your sorry ass today."  
  
"Hey guys," Nephrite said, "I'm kind of hungry, so I'm gonna go to the kitchen to see if I can grab something to eat. You guys want anything?" No one else was hungry, so Nephrite made his was towards the kitchen alone. He didn't have breakfast that day because they were in such a rush to get to the Moon on time, and Jadeite stole his snack at the teleport station. Chocolate icing cakes were his favorite, too! 'Damn Jadeite. He stole Kunzite's mini cake, too.'  
  
As he walked into the kitchen, the sweet aroma of freshly baked goodies assulted his nose, luring him further into the kitchen. On the counter was a plate of a miniature mountain of luscious chocolate pastries, topped with cool vanilla icing and spinkles from a rainbow, straight from the oven. Nephrite never drooled in his life, but he was close to doing so at that moment. He wasn't sure if the little cakes belonged to someone, but he reasoned that no one would just leave their irrestible creation out in the open without some kind of label saying "don't touch or I'll kill you" to warn off offenders.  
  
'They were probably set out for guests anyways.' So Nephrite greedily snatched up one of the sweets and walked over to the ice box to retrieve a bottle of milk to wash down the sweet treat. He quickly devoured his first small cake, poured himself a glass of refreshing milk, and took another cake and bit off a huge chunk of it.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" screeched a voice from behind him. He quickly spun around to see a tall girl, as tall as him, covered from head to toe in flour. Her chef's hat was tilted to the side, and her high ponytail of auburn curls was also sprinkled with the white power. She wore a pink apron with the words "I'm the cook, so get out of my kitchen", which she wore over what looked like...a green sailor fuku? (AN: 'Fuku' means suit in Japanese).  
  
Her butter-batter-whipped cream-smeared face was contorted in fury, and though her features were almost totally masked by a variety of ingredients, he saw her lustrous emerald eyes turn into threatening slits, aimed solely at him. She looked like a blood-thirsty monster from a swamp of cookies and cream.  
  
"I'm-I'm so...umm...sorry? I didn't know these...delightful cakes, I must say, were not set out for guests."  
  
The girl's voice boomed at him. "You're sorry?! You didn't even ask anyone who the cakes belonged to, and you go ahead and eat them anyway! I worked hard on those pastries, and the queen and her friends are having tea right now! Those were meant for them, not greedy little gremlins like you!!"  
  
'So this must be that "talented cook" Queen Serenity was referring to- -Princess Makoto,' Nephrite remembered. 'She certainly doesn't act like a properly raised princess. How dare she call me a greedy gremlin!'  
  
"Excuse me, you insolent little girl-"  
  
"'Insolent little girl'?! Who are you calling little? You're, what, only fourteen! I'm just a year younger you, you pompous twit. Do you know who you are speaking to?"  
  
"Yes, you're Princess Makoto of Jupiter, but you act like a ranting street urchin with that dirty mouth of yours! You are making the worst impression possible on one of your queen's guests. I am Prince Nephrite of the Southern Hemisphere of Earth, and I've never met a princess as disgraceful as you!"  
  
Before Makoto could unleash the devastating curse words from her throat, Prince Nephrite grabbed another chocolate cake and walked briskly out the door, leaving behind a fuming Jupitarian princess.  
  
  
  
Zoisite, who was thirteen years old, spent a good part of the afternoon studying the palace maps that the Martian princess had pointed out earlier. His eyes immediately lit up when he read the short caption about the Lunarian Library. He had heard much about the library; it was supposedly the largest collection of manusripts and books in the galaxy, and Zoisite was anxious to get there quickly to spend his day in the literary heaven.  
  
From his rooms, one had to turn a right corner, go straight down the corrider, go up two flights of stairs, and go into the first door to the left. He actually memorized every nook and cranny from the map. He slowly pushed open the heavy cedar doors, and the sight before him took the words from his mouth.  
  
The book cases lined every inch of each wall, and the ceiling above looked as if it exceeded the sky. The book cases towered over his small form, and the sweet smell of the pages wafted through the room, inviting him to read each and every book. The intriguing titles of the books, of every genre imaginable, from fairytales to indepth studies of ancient pottery, were written in fine gold calligraphy. The carpet was a spotless royal blue--his favorite color, and the enormous library was strangely warm for a large room. Then he noticed the distant sound of a crackling fire, probably coming from the other side of the room. He decided to follow the sound because a blazing fire meant that their was another person in the room.  
  
As he deduced, there was a huge brick fireplace with a cheery fire going, and above the fireplace was a banner that read "Only the ingnorant find ingorance blissful." Zoisite couldn't agree more. Something else quickly caught his attention from the corner of his eye. A young girl of about eleven years old, with large reading glasses set upon her cute little nose ('She must read too much,' he mentally added), sat in one of the voluminous velvet armchairs, her small form nearly swallowed up by the cushion. A heavy book, which looked too heavy for such a petite girl, was set upon her lap as she read quickly, her eyes skimming back and forth at a speed Zoisite thought only he was capable of. She looked up at him, her big blue eyes magnified even more by the thick glasses.  
  
Zoisite tried not to laugh. She reminded him of a bug.  
  
"Good afternoon, Prince Zoisite; heir to the Eastern Hemisphere of Earth; future guardian of crown Prince Endymion Anima-Mundi, and future member of the Shittenou," the young girl rattled off fluidly. Zoisite was taken aback. He was just prepared to make his own introduction to her, but he was saved the trouble. Then he understood why she knew him. When she brushed back her long blue bangs behind her ear, he saw the telltale symbol of Mercury on her forehead, which was a similar color to her hair and eyes.  
  
'Princess Ami Mizuno of Mercury,' his mind automatically recalled. 'Next in line of the Mercurian kingdom. Universally known for her study habits and photographic memory. Proclaimed child genius at age three.' He didn't think she was all that impressive. After all, he was a child genius as well, but he was not as overrated as her. She only got more fame because she was a princess of an entire planet and her family was associated to the Silver Millennium, whereas Earth was friendly with the Moon but on their own ruling terms.  
  
"Good afternoon to you, Princess Ami." He bowed formally to her. Ami was not surprised he knew of her. She knew Prince Zoisite was just as intelligent as he was known to be.  
  
Zoisite spotted a book on the coffee table next to her. It was a fine-looking book; it was a navy blue leather bound book encrusted with sapphires around the border. On the spine and the cover was in beautiful gold script 'Of Myths and Mercury'. Zoisite usually didn't judge a book by its cover, but that book's cover managed to peak his interest.  
  
"Do you mind if I read this?" he asked.  
  
"Be my guest," she replied as she read her own book.  
  
Searching for a suitable reading spot, Zoisite finally settled down in one of the comfortable armchairs directly in front of the warm fire. He opened the book, and by glancing at the brittle pages, he realized that the book was probably an old one that was kept in very good condition. After the first few chapters, Zoisite couldn't put the book down. The book covered the true history of Mercury, dating back millions of years ago, and the famous myths and legends of the planet. But Zoisite's eyes were getting heavier and heavier by each page. The teleportation process was not easy on them, especially since they had gotten lost in the fluctuating space continuum three times, and Zoisite opted to study the map instead of to sleep like Kunzite and Jadeite. He placed the silky blue ribbon in the book to save his place, set the book down on top of the logs next to his chair, and dozed off.  
  
The chocolate cake long ago eaten, Nephrite found himself in the verdant gardens of the Moon. Pastel, neon, and even metallic colored flowers were strategically planted everywhere, and their light perfume calmed down Nephrite's nerves. He felt just a twinge of guilt for yelling at Princess Makoto, 'But she was asking for it!'  
  
He admired the skillfully carved ivory fountains and the crystal- clear pools and the quaint little gazebos. In the distance, he spotted a little glass shed. As he walked closer, he realized that it was a green house, like the one on his estate on Earth. He discovered that the door was unlocked, so he invited himself in to take a gander at the unique plants inside. He saw venus flytraps and exotic ferns on one side and daffodils and tulips on the other. Ivy vines hung down low from the glass roof, brushing against his shoulders. He saw an ingenious irrigation system set up so that every plant in the house was watered simultaneously, and he wondered how the different plants that were used to extremely contrasting conditions and that grew in different seasons could thrive in the same green house.  
  
In the very back, Nephrite saw the most unusual yet mesmorizing rose bush he had ever seen in his life. The leaves were a misty silver and glittered in the sunlight, and not a thorn was in sight. The most exceptional thing about the rose bush was that each rose was a different color. Reds, blues, pinks, yellows, oranges, pale greens, whites, peaches, lavenders, and even golds and silvers mingled together to create a colorful mosaic of rose petals. Amazingly, each rose had its own special scent. Nephrite knew that Endymion would appreciate the roses.  
  
"I always thought that Endy's obsession with roses was kind of fruity," he said to himself. He felt that growing flowers was more of a feminine hobby.  
  
One would think that Nephrite would learn his lesson after the first time, but his hand involunarily reached up and plucked a perfect crimson rose and a velvety gold rose to give to Endymion so he could obsess over it all he liked.  
  
'Besides, what are the chances some psycho princess is going to get on my case again?'  
  
Something wizzed passed Nephrite's ear, and Nephrite was shocked to see that a pair of sharp gardener's shears were stuck in the trunk of one of the palm trees in front of him. The next second, a long lock of Nephrite's long brown hair fell to the ground. The blades cut off a chunk of his nicely grown-out hair, and then he realized that the huge scissors were barely a millimeter off from his skin.  
  
He swiftly turned around to face his attacker, only to see a familiar green sailor fuku with a pink bow at the chest and one in the back at the waist of the pleated skirt. Princess Makoto, a.k.a Sailor Jupiter, was bent over in a way that told him that she was the one who threw the blades at him. Big surprise. But her face was washed clean this time, revealing a very appealing face, but the face was twisted in that same furious, maniacal expression, and she was as red with anger as the crimson rose in his guilty hand.  
  
"You again!" she shrieked. "Are you some compulsive stealer or something? Are you a kleptomaniac? Keep your grubby hands off of things that don't belong to you!"  
  
Nephrite knew it was his fault this time, but his youthful pride wouldn't let him apologize. "Why are you going insane over a stupid rose bush. I just picked two off the damn thing, and there's plenty more roses left."  
  
"You utter fool! You retard! Do you know what that rose bush is? Of course you don't! I was growing that special rose bush as a gift to Princess Serenity for her birthday next month. It took half a year to grow it, and you've ruined it! You're nothing but a {censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored}!"  
  
Nephrite was feeling really bad for her at first, but the name calling and profanity was crossing the line. Using the technique Endymion taught him, he threw both roses at the ground so that the points actually stuck them up in the ground, and immaturely stomped on them right in front of her. Even when they were sufficiently smashed into the ground, he continued to jump on the flattened petals like a crazed monkey. Then he did something he had never done before--he made a face at her. Then he stormed out of the green house.  
  
Makoto was out for revenge, now.  
  
  
  
Sometime during his sleep, Zoisite felt dreadfully cold. His mind subconsciously registered that the fire must've died out, so he blindly reached over to the pile of logs next to his armchair and threw a log on the fire. He felt the warmth of the rising fire and snuggled back into his chair. An instant later, a sharp shriek made him jump up, wide awake.  
  
He saw Princess Ami kneeling next to the fireplace, fantically using the poker to save something from the flames. Her eyes widened in horror, and he was actually pained to see fresh tears well up and fall down her cheeks. Finally, he looked into the fireplace to see what she was so upset about.  
  
The book he was reading was being engulfed in the flames.  
  
'Oh no! I must've thrown 'Of Myths and Mercury' into the fire in my sleepy stupor!'  
  
Ami pulled herself up to look Zoisite straight in the eye, although he was more that a head taller than her. The icy fire in her eyes was more ferocious than the flames in the fireplace.  
  
"How could you throw my book into the fireplace, you beast?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! I was cold, so I thought I'd throw a log into the fire, but I had forgotten that I set the book on top. Honest!"  
  
"How could you be so irresponsible, especially with other peoples' belongings?"  
  
"Hey! I said I was sorry. You don't have to call me irresponsible. Look, if it means that much to you, I'll just buy you a new one, okay?"  
  
"Buy me a new one, he says! All you pretentious princes are all the same. You think that money can get you out of anything. YOU'RE WRONG!" Ami never thought she could scream like that, but this horrible boy brought it out of her. "That book you just threw so carelessly into the fire is a priceless family heirloom. It's a one of a kind! How can you repay me? Give me back my book! Give it back!"  
  
To Zoisite's surprise, and moreover, to _her_ surprise, she started beating her little fists on his chest, screaming, "Give me back my book!"  
  
He quickly grabbed her wrists to stop her from messing up his clean uniform and gently pushed her back into a chair. "I already apologized. What do you want me to do? Get on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness? If you're so smart, you can rewrite it from memory."  
  
"You're so STUPID! You can't rewrite the history behind that book you just destroyed! It's been in my family for thousands of years! It's irreplaceable!"  
  
Zoisite couldn't believe his ears. 'ME? STUPID? Does she know who I am? I'm Zoisite Aufait, the smartest boy, and probably person, in this solar system!'  
  
"You're so materialistic! It's *just* a book. If you were such an intellectual, you would know that the stories and the history that was told are of real importance and value. Who cares about the actual book. Books can be made again and again! As long as you remember the information, which I'm sure you do, then you shouldn't worry."  
  
'How can he be so careless and unfeeling?' Little Ami's mind questioned. She was too angry and shocked at his impertinence to reply.  
  
"I swear," he continued, "girls prize materials more than the substance contained in them. Amazing! That's why males are the superior sex...we don't fuss over that kind of stuff, unlike you girls! Girls just know how to complain and whine! Hmph!"  
  
"Get out of this library this instant! I never want to hear your nonsense or see your imperious face ever again!" she yelled.  
  
She didn't have to tell him twice.  
  
  
  
To be continued..... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Next chapter: Ami and Makoto get sweet revenge! Then after that chapter, Minako and Rei go head to head with Kunzite and Jadeite. Stay tuned and witness their evil antics!!!  
  
Mwhahahahahah!  
  
REVIEW!! 


	6. Revenge has Never been So Sweet or Obsce...

IMPORTANT: Here it is! Makoto fights back for her...er...honor! I've decided to postpone Ami's "revenge" until the next chapter. I have no time whatsoever to get anything done between school, sports, and sleep. No motivation (i.e. no ~reviews~) equals no new chapters.  
  
As always, thanks for the reviews.  
  
MORE IMPORTANT STUFF:  
  
Dear Utena-chan and Raegurly13: Thanks so much for making me a favorite!!! Much love!  
  
Dear Happy Noodle Girl:  
  
You are absolutely right; this story does go very slow, and it's going even slower because I'm too damn busy. I apologize for the delays, and I thank you for being so patient and telling me to get the story on a faster pace. But I feel the story will be incomplete if I leave out the past events. I assure you and all other readers who are getting sick of my story that the wait will be entirely worth it. I have formulated the entire story in my head already, and I've planned a whole lot of entertainment when the story goes back to the present. Compared to what the present of "The Winning Losers" will contain, the past portion of this fanfic will seem a very small portion. Thank you again!  
  
Honestly, I feel I am not fit to be a fanfic writer, and although I enjoy it immensely, I _know_ my writing just plain sucks. I feel I always must get into detail about everything I think is important, and that love of details always gets in the way of getting straight to what the reading public wants, and right now, I'm betting that the reading public wants some interaction between Shittenou and Senshi in their grown up age.  
  
In fact, I'm tempted to end this story because I'm afraid my dear readers are quickly getting bored. I'm terribly, terribly sorry for being such a poor storyteller. I will do what I can to improve.  
  
With my threatening and bitching out of the way, on with the show!  
  
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon was created when I was still in first grade. Do you think that some dumb first grader created the delicate plot of Sailor Moon? If you think that's possible, you need to check into the nearest mental institution. It's okay to admit you're not quite right in the head. To put it simply, me no own Sailor Moon.  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
Characters:  
  
Princesses-  
  
Makoto Kino (Jupiter)  
  
Rei Hino (Mars)  
  
Ami Mizuno (Mercury)  
  
Minako Aino (Venus)  
  
Usagi Serenity (Moon)  
  
Princes-  
  
Nephrite Jusdivinum  
  
Jadeite Amerveille  
  
Zoisite Aufait  
  
Kunzite Acoupser  
  
Endymion Anima-Mundi  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter Four: Revenge has Never Been so Sweet, or Obscene!  
  
The five boys were sitting in their shared quarters, alternating between watching the television or chatting. Earlier, young Endymion rushed into the room and gushed to his best friends about his newest best friend. He and Serenity had finished their hide-and-seek game when Luna said that Serenity had to stop playing and begin her tutoring lessons.  
  
He had never had so much fun with a girl in his life. Serenity always smiled, and she wasn't squeamish like other girls. She didn't mind getting a little dirt on her skirts, and she was full of energy, and she was funny, and etc., etc. By the time Endymion had stopped bragging about her, his four listeners were sick of hearing about "Serenity this, Serenity that". The only thing he didn't tell them was that he called her "Usako". His little bunny. Serenity said that only her father called her that when he was still alive, but he died when she was only two. Endymion finally understood why men liked to hang around with women. Did that mean he was finally a man? he thought. He knew if he talked about his feelings around the guys, they would have laughed him out the room. Not only that, they wouldn't have let him live it down for as long as he lived.  
  
Nephrite talked about his terrible day and about the terrifying Princess Makoto. Nephrite's parents had always taught him to be courteous to girls, and he always was, but Princess Makoto was not a girl. 'She's a rabid dog bent on chewing away at my bones to suck out the bone marrow,' he thought.  
  
"I know exactly what you're talking about, Neph," confided Zoisite. He recounted to them the incident that happened between him and the Mercurian princess in the Lunarian Library.  
  
Zoisite could never look at a book the same way again.  
  
"I told you those Senshi girls were no good!" declared Jadeite.  
  
"Great going, you dolts," commented Kunzite. "We've only been here for a few hours, and you guys have already managed to strike bad blood with the inner princesses of the Silver Millennium. What would the king and queen say?"  
  
"It would be best just not to tell my mum and pa," suggested Endymion. "There's no point in worrying them, too. It's your guys' problem, not theirs, and especially not mine. I don't want Usa--I mean, Serenity to know that her closest friends and my best friends aren't getting along. That would upset her because she loves her friends like sisters." So they all agreed not to involve the adults.  
  
In another part of the palace, Princess Serenity was raving about her new playmate to her friends. "Endy is not like other boys. He's sweet and he's nice, and he makes me laugh. He's pretty smart to; I didn't find his hiding place for almost an hour!"  
  
Minako hung onto Serenity's every word and asked many questions, but Makoto and Ami were silent the whole time, their faces hidden in a moody shadow. Rei didn't need to listen; she'd heard tons of stories about her cousin and she talked to him a lot, too. What Rei wasn't expecting were the vibes radiating from Ami and Makoto. She sensed the feeling of deep- seeded anger, hurt, and...hatred? That was the last emotion she would ever connect with two of the sweetest people she knew, but seeing the glum looks on their faces, she didn't want to press them further into irritability.  
  
"Don't tell anyone, you guys, but I just have to tell you. He called me Usako!"  
  
Minako sighed deeply. She was two years older than Serenity, but she hadn't found a guy friend like that. And she was practically a teenager in a couple of months! Makoto and Ami sunk into blacker moods, and Rei was getting nauseous.  
  
"Please, Usa-chan, I don't want to hear about your puppy love. Especially with Cousin Endymion. It's making me feel really queasy. Plus, you're only ten. You and he don't even know the meaning of love."  
  
"Yes I do!" said Serenity defensively.  
  
"Oh really? What is love then? Explain, Usa-chan."  
  
:::Silence:::  
  
"Hmm. That's what I thought."  
  
"Don't be so hard on the poor girl," Minako jumped in. "Love is something that's hard to express in words, and Usa-chan doesn't have a broad vocabulary."  
  
"Are you helping me or insulting me, Mina-chan?" asked Serenity confusedly.  
  
"That doesn't matter. Anyways, don't listen to Rei-chan. It's not like she's well informed about the subject."  
  
"Says the self-proclaimed goddess of love herself," muttered Rei darkly. Minako pretended not to hear her and encouraged Serenity to continue dishing the dirt.  
  
In the middle of her accout about her wonderful day, Serenity noticed Makoto's and Ami's unwillingness to speak. She expected Makoto to be asking all sorts of questions, like Minako, but Makoto was eerily silent. It was normal for Ami not to be interested in these conversations, but she always had at least something to comment about.  
  
"Mako-chan? Ami-chan? What's wrong, you guys?"  
  
Jolted out of their trance, they looked up at their three worried friends. Ami, the usually level-headed one, cleared her throat first and began her tale. "It began when I met this boy in the Lunarian Library...." and she ended with, "he threw my book, that priceless family heirloom, into the fire!" Ami Mizuno, the famed ice princess, was close to tears again.  
  
"You too, Ami-chan?" asked an indignant Makoto. "I met one of those bastards today, too! He stole a couple of the mini cakes I worked so hard on this afternoon, and then he has the balls to ruin one of my best plants in the green house. Just wait 'till I get my hands on him..."  
  
"Wait! I know you guys are really mad, and you have every right to be, but if you do get back at them, please don't let my mommy and her friends find out! Please!" Little Serenity pleaded.  
  
"Alright, alright, we won't," Makoto said for all of them, "But Luna already knows."  
  
"What?! How?"  
  
"Luna saw me storm into my room, and then she asked me what was wrong."  
  
"Oh no...she might tell Momma! And I might never see Endy again, and, and-"  
  
"Cool it, Meatball head!" barked Rei. "Luna's a lot smarter than that. She'll try even harder than us not to upset the queen. I mean, she hates lying to Queen Serenity, but Luna knows that the queen doesn't absolutely need to know."  
  
"Yeah," piped in Minako, "She can keep a straight face with the queen as well as you do, Usa-chan."  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"Anyways, you guys are gonna help me get back at that Nephrite boy, right?" Makoto then put her hand in the middle of their circle. Rei was the first to put her hand on top of hers. Teaching the boys of the universe a lesson, one boy at a time, was worth it to her. Minako put in her hand next; she just liked excitement and making trouble.  
  
Serenity was a bit unsure. "He's Endy's friend, but I gotta stick with my girls." She put her hand on top, too.  
  
They all waited for Ami to make up her mind. "Come ON, Ami-chan!" Makoto whined. "We all have to be in this together."  
  
"I don't know...couldn't we get into a lot of trouble? The chances of getting caught are skyrocketing out of the roof. Plus...it's not right."  
  
"Don't you want to get back at that Zoisite kid?"  
  
Ami's back stiffened right away. 'Make Zoisite pay?' All her good, common sense told her not to do it, but without thinking, she placed her hand on top of theirs.  
  
"It's settled!" crowed Minako. "One of us gets messed with, it's everyone's business!"  
  
"Damn straight! Now, how should I make Nephrite suffer?" They all turned around to Rei. If anyone could humiliate a guy, it was Rei.  
  
She smiled a cold, conniving smile. "Well, we'll need Makoto's baking skills and Ami's chemistry set, and bring your potions book too..."  
  
  
  
The sun had already set, and the stars lit up the velvet sky like an everlasting fireworks display. The fountains of angels with pitchers and the silvery vine-covered lanterns along the garden pathways illuminated the Moon palace, making it look more celestial and surreal. Walking up the pristine stairs to the palace doors felt like walking through the gates of Heaven.  
  
On a balcony on the second floor, the five boys were silently admiring the full Earth in the purplish-indigo sky.  
  
Nephrite was in one of his introspective moods. "You'd think that after spending your whole life on Earth, seeing it from outer space would be no surprise. I guess you just have to see things from another point of view every once in a while to appreciate what you've got."  
  
They heard the grandfather clock strike six times, which meant that dinner would start in an hour and thirty minutes. The five of them started to file into their rooms to get ready when a knock was heard on their door.  
  
"Open the door, Neph," instructed Kunzite.  
  
"Who could it be right now?" Nephrite walked quickly to the door and opened it.  
  
Nephrite yelped two octaves higher than his normal voice, slammed the door, jumped back, bumped into the bed, slipped, and crossed both index fingers to make a cross. "They're coming to take me away!" he chanted repeatedly.  
  
With a reaction like that from the generally sane Nephrite, the other three princes shoved Endymion behind them, ready for battle and ready to die for the future heir of Earth.  
  
"Be ready for anything," whispered Kunzite while Nephrite was still whimpering. Stealthily, he walked over to the door, fingered the hilt of his junior-general sword, and swung open the door, fighting stance and sword pointed right at the intuder's face.  
  
There stood Makoto, in a frilly pink and mint green dress festooned with lace and ribbons, a stunned look on her face, and a plate of fresh, delicious chocolate chip cookies in her hands.  
  
The perfect picture of victimized innocence.  
  
"Get her away!" entreated Nephrite. "She's a bloody abomination out for revenge! She won't rest until she has my head, and she'll probably hunt you all for sport! Run, man, run!! Use that sword while you can!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Lady Kino, will you excuse me for a moment?" Without waiting for her answer, Kunzite gently closed the door in her face and walked over to Nephrite.  
  
Makoto, still standing outside, was vaguely aware of an echoing smack from within the room.  
  
"Owwwie...." Nephrite mumbled, along with some choice words a sailor would have been proud of, as he rubbed the back of his head. "What was that for, Kunzite?"  
  
"You dumbass," cursed Kunzite, making sure his voice could not be heard from outside. "Do you realize what you just did? You've just insulted the crown princess of the planet Jupiter! Ye gods! You called an inner planet princess a "bloody abomination"! One of the future inner senshi of Her Royal Highness, Princess Serenity! We are the Moon Queen's guests, and we haven't even been here a whole day. We are supposed to be honorable representatives of Earth, and you've already been at war with the Silver Millennium's largest planet's princess! Not only will you be disappointing King James and Queen Gwendolyn, you'll be making the rest of us look bad. You'll be making *me* look bad."  
  
"But Kunzite, she started it! Why'd she have to go psycho on me earlier today? She threw gardener's shears at me! She missed me by this much," and here, Nephrite made a centimeter's space between his index finger and thumb.  
  
"I don't care what she tried to do to you. I almost regret that the blades missed you. Even if she is the savage monster you claim, as a citizen of Earth, and more importantly, as a future member of the Shittenou, you should not stoop to her level. You will be more dignified, and you will show her she is not worthy of your concern. If anything else happens between us and the Princess Serenity's guardians, I will have a discussion with their leader. Venus, I believe. Is that understood?" Kunzite was not expecting a negative.  
  
"Yes sir," Nephrite dutifully replied.  
  
"Good. Now go open that door and greet Princess Makoto like the prince you're supposed to be."  
  
Nephrite, still fingering the bump forming on the back of his head, walked begrudgingly towards the door.  
  
Makoto was still standing patiently outside, with the same innocent look on her face, still holding the plate of gooey cookies.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry if I've startled you, Lady Kino," began Nephrite. "The five of us were...er...acting out scenes of our favorite play."  
  
That was lame, said Jadeite's voice through their mental connection. The others tried hard not to actually smack their foreheads with their palms and yell "Oi!"  
  
It was the best I could come up with! argued Nephrite.  
  
Makoto knew perfectly well that the boy was lying, and she tried not to grin. 'If he's scared of me now, he's going to be scared to death of me later.'  
  
"I'm sure you were. Pray tell, what play were you acting out?"  
  
Oh crap! Now what? questioned Nephrite frantically to his comrades.  
  
Zoisite jumped in to save the day. "It's amateur dramatics, my lady. There are many unknown plays on Earth, and we are all fans of the lesser known ones. Lots of undiscovered talent, that. We were acting out a scene from a play by a young playwright. It's called 'His Fear of Women Hath Made Him Mad.' Great stuff. I suggest you visit Earth and watch it if ever you get the chance."  
  
Makoto looked at Zoisite strangely, as if he was from another planet....though technically, he *was* from another planet....but that was besides the point. She didn't care whether or not they were telling the truth. Nothing, not even squealing princes and strange stories about strange plays, could distract her from her mission.  
  
*~*Flashback*~*  
  
(Earlier in the kitchen)  
  
"Are you done mixing the cookie dough, Mako-chan?"  
  
"Almost, just a--Usa-chan! Stop eating it!"  
  
"But it's so good!"  
  
"Mina-chan! Quit stuffing your pockets with the bags of chocolate chips! Hand it over."  
  
"Aww, you're no fun. Here."  
  
"Ahem....the other bag, too."  
  
"What are you talking about, Rei-chan?"  
  
"You should know by now not to lie to a freaking psychic."  
  
"Damn [muttering]...."  
  
"Are you done heating up the potion, Ami-chan?"  
  
"Yes, I've finished. According to the book, it should be strong enough to have a definite effect, but it will not really harm the....victim."  
  
"Ami-chan, are you still hesitant to participate? If the elders find out about this, I will take full responsibilty. This is my fight against that stupid Nephrite kid, so I don't want you to feel pressured-"  
  
"Don't worry. You know I'll do anything for you guys, but this is illegal! Plus, we are insulting the Terran royalty! The queen will have our heads, princesses or not. I must admit, Rei-chan's plan is absolutely genius...I almost wish that I came up with it...but aren't there other options?"  
  
"Ami, Ami, Ami-chan--always the logical one of all of us. You're entirely right!"  
  
"You mean that, Mina-chan?"  
  
"Of course I do. Other options...let's see. We could let him get away with what he did to Mako-chan and let justice go undone. Do you really want that rather than give him what he deserves? Don't forget: he's in close association with ZOISITE, and friends of ZOISITE, as *you* already know, dear Ami-chan, must be a bad influence and must be taught a lesson."  
  
"Grrrrrrrrr.....Zoisite......"  
  
"So do you still have second thoughts?"  
  
"Count me in."  
  
"Alrighty! Is it time to mix in the greenish-brown stuff that the good Ami-chan has so graciously concocted? Usagi, for the last time, for Jupiter's sake, keep your grubby fingers out of my cookie dough!"  
  
"Why do you always blame me?! I wasn't even near the bowl this time!"  
  
"Sorry, you're right. Fine, both you and Minako will put your hands flat on the counter where I can see them."  
  
"[Grumble grumble] stupid [mutter]--"  
  
"That's enough, you two! The book says that if we don't mix it right about now, it will be useless."  
  
"Quickly! Pour it in!"  
  
"Let me do it!"  
  
"NO! Don't let Usa-chan get anywhere near it! She'll spill it all over the place!"  
  
"What do you know, anyways? I'm perfectly capable--oops."  
  
"See! Darn it, Usagi! You got it everywhere *but* in the cookie dough!"  
  
"Calm down, everyone. Somehow, I knew this would happen, so I mixed and heated three other emergency back-up vials of the chemicals."  
  
"Three?!"  
  
"Well, I never know who might screw up and how many times one of you will ruin something."  
  
"[Pause] We see your point."  
  
"Okay. Now, mix well until the greenish-brown color disappears."  
  
"I'm the cook! I don't need to read a book to make a good batch of cookies."  
  
"A good batch of toxic cookies."  
  
"I heard that. Wait a minute, this whole thing was your idea, Rei- chan."  
  
"It may be my idea, but it's full of your intentions."  
  
"Hush. No time for philosophy. Now, into the oven."  
  
~*~End of Flashback~*~  
  
"Lady Kino? Excuse me, my lady, are you alright?" Zoisite started to wave his hand frantically in front of her face. In response, she blinked a couple of times before returning to the business at hand.  
  
"Oh, um, yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking about that play you were talking about. I'll be sure to ask Luna and Artemis about that. Sounds interesting. But anyway, I came for Prince Nephrite."  
  
"See!? SEE?! She came for me! She's going to try to kill me! What are you guys doing? Stop her, you idiots, stop her now!"  
  
Kunzite made a mental note to kill Nephrite after Princess Makoto left. Endymion and Zoisite were both speechless, so it was up to Jadeite and his big mouth. "Hehehe, improvisation, my lady. He's playing off of your words and actions to befit the play. Talented boy, don't you know." Incredibly stupid, too, he added in his head.  
  
'These Earth folk are definitely smoking something.' Makoto waved off the thought. 'But why do they keep distracting me?! Focus, Makoto- baka (baka=stupid, idiot), focus!"  
  
"Umm, yes, quite talented. What I meant was that I felt guilty about our earlier...encounter. I really don't want to get on the bad side of our esteemed guests. As a kind of peace offering, I've baked these chocolate chip cookies especially for you, Prince Nephrite. Will you accept my humble gift?"  
  
Nephrite was even more scared than he was before. 'First, she comes off as some psycho scissors thrower, and now she's acting sweet and decent. What the hell is she up to?' Right away, he felt bad for assuming such things. He was judging her without being entirely sure, and she probably did go out of her way to make it up to him, judging by her gentle posture and sincere tone. It would be rude to turn away and not try to make peace.  
  
"I'm touched by your sincerity, Lady Kino. But do not worry because I forgave you a long time ago."  
  
'Forgave me? I did nothing to him. What a conceited snob!! He should be begging for my forgiveness.' Makoto tried not to speak through clenched teeth: "I'm so relieved. Here, take this plate of cookies. Please eat at least one before dinner. It won't spoil your appetite. I will see you all by dinner."  
  
She curtseyed to the five young boys, like a perfect little lady, and they bowed in return, like perfect little gentlemen, and Jadeite opened the door for her and saw her out.  
  
Before Makoto turned the corner of the hall, she swore she heard 'thumping' from the room she had just left.  
  
Nephrite was black and blue after the other four boys thoroughly ganged up on him and beat him until their fists hurt. Kunzite felt that the beating expressed what words and logic couldn't make sense out of, so he saved the lecture for another time. Endymion kissed his fists tenderly, Jadeite cracked his satisfied knuckles, and Zoisite prepared some ice for his sore hands. They were all so amazed at Nephrite's loss of wit in the presence of the Jupitarian princess; it was shameful to be associated with a wuss. The beating was meant to toughen him up, they reasoned.  
  
"Alright. Now what do you have to say in defense, Nephrite?"  
  
"Aren't you supposed to ask that before you kick my ass, Kunzite?"  
  
"Yes, but what you did was so retarded that it justifies our actions."  
  
Zoisite eyed the cookies carefully. Then, he picked one up, put it as close as possible to his nose, and inhaled deeply.  
  
"Ya know, Zoi, if you inhale deeply enough, you might actually suck up all the chocolate chips."  
  
"Shut up, Jed. I'm just checking to make sure there's no poison."  
  
Endymion was shocked. "You don't think she'd really try to kill him, do you?"  
  
"No, I know she wouldn't do anything of that sort. But she could be trying to pull some prank. But from my observations, I don't see anything wrong with the cookies, and I could only determine the ingredients with my lab at home. I think it's safe."  
  
"You think? You *think*? What if I eat one and something bad does happen? I'm not taking my chances. Just throw it all away."  
  
"What about that whole 'I forgave you' bit? Plus, as leader of the four princes of Earth, I forbid you to further insult the royalty of the Silver Millennium by throwing away these cookies."  
  
"Don't worry. We can destroy them in the disposal and not leave any evidence."  
  
"No way. You eat one of those cookies right now before I stuff one down your throat."  
  
"And if you do die, we'll make sure not to eat them."  
  
"Shut up, Jed." Nephrite gulped. He had no choice. 'If I die, at least everyone will know I was brave enough to actually eat *her* death cookie.' He took the cookie from Zoisite, closed his eyes, and popped the whole cookie into his mouth. As he chewed slowly, the other four waited anxiously.  
  
"Where'd you get that stomach pump, Zoi?" questioned Jadeite.  
  
"From the corner of the room."  
  
"But I thought you said the cookies were harmless!"  
  
"No. I said it *looked* harmless."  
  
After wait seemed like an eternity, Nephrite finally swallowed. Then, miracle of miracles, he smiled. "Hey, that was really good!"  
  
Zoisite put his hand to Nephrite's forehead. "You don't feel sick or anything, do you? Nausea? Headache? Dizziness?"  
  
"Nope! In fact, I feel pretty good right now. I feel bad now for doubting Princess Makoto. You guys should try some."  
  
They were about to each grab a cookie before Kunzite stopped them. "Maybe later. Dinner is in about half an hour, so I think we should save them for an after dinner snack. I just wanted Nephrite to eat one to see what would happen."  
  
"You were going to risk my life as an experiement?!"  
  
"You say it so bluntly."  
  
"What a great leader and friend you-"  
  
In a split second, Nephrite was on the ground, rolling back and forth on the floor as he clutched his stomach and groaned in agony. Zoisite jumped to his friend's side, worry evident on his face, but he was also very pleased that he had a patient to run tests on. "Back away, everyone! I'm an expert. Let the boy breathe! Damnit Jed, go make yourself useful and get some water for him."  
  
He continued to snap orders, and Kunzite and Endymion helped Zoisite to get their tall friend Nephrite to sit up. Suddenly, just as quickly as he fell to the ground earlier, Nephrite shot up with surprising agility and dashed to the lavatory. It was then that Jadeite returned.  
  
"Hey, where'd he go?"  
  
"The bathroom," the three perplexed boys answered.  
  
"Okay....why?"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
After twenty-five minutes, they started to get really worried. They had banged on the door, asking Nephrite if he was okay, but all they heard was the flush of the toilet. In the last twenty-five minutes, they heard it flush twenty-five times.  
  
Endymion tried to communicate through the locked bathroom door again. "Neph? Neph, answer us! At least tell us you're alive."  
  
They heard a low moan. At least they were sure that he was still healty enough to give some kind of response.  
  
Kunzite made another effort. "Neph! Dinner with the royals is in five minutes. Do you feel fit enough to go? Neph?"  
  
Jadeite shook his head in knowing disgust. "I knew those damn senshi girls were no good. No good at all! All of them are crazy bitches! Do you believe me now?"  
  
Endymion nearly slugged Jadeite hard. "Watch it, Jed. What they did wasn't right, but they are my Little Serenity's friends, and I won't have you insult her by insulting her friends."  
  
"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Endymion. I think Princess Serenity is a sweet little girl, but it's her hell-raising friends I'm warning you all about. And I bet on your grave that this whole thing was planned by that evil Martian princess."  
  
Zoisite picked up one of the cookies with a pair of tweezers. To his surprise, he saw something that he didn't see before. The cookies began to turn a strange green color. "I know this potion!" he exclaimed. "I've read about it in a book about witch stews. Oh god. Poor guy! I feel so sorry for Neph right now."  
  
"Why?" the others nearly shrieked.  
  
"Umm...well...the potion is called a 'cleanser' because it...how should I say this...cleans the system."  
  
"What do you--Ohhhhh. You mean-"  
  
"Nephrite has a bad case of-"  
  
"HA! Nephrite is dying of diarrhea! HAHAHA!"  
  
"GO TO HELL, JED!!!" hollered Nephrite within the restroom.  
  
This reaction relieved them. "Great. He's able to answer in words now. That's definite progress."  
  
"You seem to be enjoying Nephrite's pain more than necessary, Zoisite. You're acting like some freak scientist studying a lab rat," Jadeite commented.  
  
Before Zoisite could accept Jadeite's insult as flattery, the bathroom door slowly creaked open, revealing a very pale and tired-looking Nephrite. His long brown hair was matted to his sweaty forehead, and he was leaning against the wall for balance. Jadeite whistled.  
  
"Wow Neph. You look great. You needed to lose those extra ten pounds anyways."  
  
If Nephrite had the strength, he would have pulled off one of his boots and thrown it right into Jadeite's mouth. The others weren't very helpful. They unsuccessfully muffled their chuckles.  
  
"I think I lost an intestine and a kidney in the toilet."  
  
"Oh no...bad imagery! I'm not going to sleep tonight. Thanks a lot, Neph."  
  
Nephrite smiled a weak smile. "If I can't sleep, none of you can, either."  
  
The room was dead quite, and Nephrite was beginning to get scared. They were all just staring at him like some freak show. Kunzite did the deed; he told Nephrite to look in the mirror and smile. At first, Nephrite thought Kunzite was joking, but he always knew when Kunzite was joking, and at that time, he wasn't.  
  
Nephrite nearly slammed his forehead into the mirror after he understood the meaning of his comrade's cryptic instructions.  
  
His teeth were the same color as the greenish-brown liquid mixed within the cookie dough.  
  
Luckily, no one in the palace heard Nephrite swearing and cursing Princess Makoto like a madman.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Damn volleyball. I hate that sport, yet I play for my athletics credits.  
  
During the middle of this chapter, I've decided to mix present and past in the next chapter. If that doesn't make sense to you now, it will later. Real easy to follow.  
  
Review? Minh Minh is very insecure. Minh Minh want to see review. Minh Minh is a conceited donkey who likes to get praise. Review? 


	7. The Past has Passed, so Let it Go!

Disclaimer: Think about it, folks. "Fanfiction." Get it? A "fan" writing "fiction" of someone else's creation. If I was the real creator and/or owner, why would I be writing this "fanfiction." Logic, folks, logic. I never did nor will I ever own Sailor Moon. The only thing I'm guilty of is not being up to par with the orignal stuff.  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
Important note: I'm such a dumbass! I accidently wrote in the last chapter that it was chapter four when it was actually chapter five! Excuse the typo...I'm too lazy to revise right now.  
  
Dear gassy2: Three's a charm! You're the third person who has put me on a favorites list! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers Chapter Six: The Past has Passed, So Let it Go!  
  
**Present time on Earth**  
  
At two o'clock in the morning, Nephrite woke up violently, his sheets soaked in sweat.  
  
'At least I didn't wake up screaming, this time.'  
  
During the past eight years, the same nightmare haunted him every now and then. *Her* face taunted him, and he relived the pain and humiliation all over again, as if the incident happened just yesterday. The nightmare would always end the same way: him coming out of the abused bathroom, him seeing his teeth that disgusting color, and him swearing Princess Makoto to hell.  
  
For that entire week eight years ago, his digestive system went totally berserk. He was almost tempted to steal a diaper from the royal nursery--that was how bad it got and how desperate he became. One minute, he was chatting with one of the palace guards, the next, he was running to the restrooms like a boy being chased by a lion that hadn't been fed for five days straight. After Nephrite would suddenly awaken from the nightmare in the wee hours of the morning, the following events of that cursed day played in front of his eyes.  
  
He remembered how he tried frantically to brush his teeth back to its normal clean color, but the dye would not come off entirely. It left a greenish residue with brown spots that wouldn't disappear, no matter how hard he brushed. Kunzite said that he didn't have to go to dinner, but Nephrite insisted that he went because it would be rude to skip the first dinner of their visit. At the dinner table, he hardly made conversation, fearing his teeth would cause more commotion than desirable, and when he did have to reply to someone, he made sure his lips hid his teeth, or he would use the napkin and act like he was wiping his mouth while he talked. Queen Gwendolyn, King James, and Queen Serenity asked him worriedly if he was feeling fine, and he would nod his head and smile with pursed lips in response.  
  
The queen of the Moon and her daughter sat at one end of the long and wide dining table, and the Earth's ruling couple sat on the other end with Endymion. The four Earth princes sat opposite the four inner planet princesses on each side. Unfortunately for them, the table was too wide for them to kick each other under the table or fling food at each other without being noticeable. The opposing groups glared at each other, imagining the steak on the plates that they were slicing apart were the people sitting in front of them.  
  
Princess Makoto was merciless. She smiled openly, too openly, to everyone at the table, but mostly directly at Nephrite. It was no coincidence that she sat straight across from him--she intentionally saved that seat. She flashed her beautiful smile almost throughout the entire dinner, showing off her perfectly aligned and dazzling white teeth. She was doing it in spite of him, and she knew he knew she was doing it to mock him. To embarass him. To put him in his place. And she really couldn't care less. She enjoyed herself immensely that night.  
  
Nephrite sat up in his bed and glanced at his alarm clock. It was two-thirty A.M. He had spent half and hour reliving his personal hell, and he knew that he would spend the rest of the morning moping over it and replaying the event in his head.  
  
'Jed's right. I need psychiatric help. Badly.'  
  
He dreamed of going back into the past and living that evening over again. 'I should have trusted my first instinct!' He would have acted much differently. He would have kicked her out of the room, literally, and thrown the cookies at her sprawled form on the ground, one by one, until just one cookie was left. And with that very last cookie, he would shove it into her mouth and make her swallow it whole, forcing her to taste the vileness of her own medicine. Nephrite would obsess over what could have been until the rest of his friends woke up.  
  
It always went that way.  
  
  
  
The golden rays of the sun pierced the blue and lavender sky and outlined the majestic mountain ranges surrounding the Terran castle. The morning's dew created a field of diamonds, almost as blinding as the proud sun, and mingled with the verdant and resilient blades of grass. The gray mists began to subside, and the hardworking business owners and street vendors of the kingdom were already up and bustling, hollering at each other and bargaining with the villagers.  
  
The larks chirped in perfect harmony, telling the people to arise from their dreamy stupor and begin another glorious day. Their sweet songs were nature's pleasant wakeup call, and the birds were nature's agreeable alarm clock.  
  
An alarm clock that Zoisite would have gladly shot if he had a rifle next to his bed.  
  
In exactly six hours, twenty-two minutes, and thiry-seven seconds, he would be setting foot on the marble floor of the Silver Millennium's nucleus: the Moon. He had not been in the Moon palace since he was barely a preteen, and he hoped he would die, by natural cause or even by brutal murder, before he ever had to return.  
  
Zoisite didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to leave the warmth and security of his blankey (and yes, he still treasured his blankey that was over two decades old and drenched in years of drool), and he didn't want to take one step away from it, for one step away from his blankey would be one step closer to the palace on the Moon. He would rather lock himself up and die of starvation than face the past again, but he knew that sooner or later Kunzite would break down the door and drag him by his long hair if he had to. Duty was duty to Kunzite. Zoisite told his friend to get a life. They had a mutual understanding.  
  
Although Zoisite was too vain and too proud to admit he was scared of something, or in this case, someone, his reason for loathing the afternoon trip was not as simple as Nephrite's fear of being ruthlessly attacked. Unlike Nephrite, he was not particularly worried about facing the one who tormented him eight years ago. He was worried about his bruised ego; he was afraid that he would be bested again by a prissy, petite, blue-haired genius. He was scared of being outsmarted and beaten by a *girl*.  
  
Zoisite reluctantly got out of bed and shuffled his fuzzy bear- slippered feet to his personal bathroom adjacent to his own room. The reflection in the mirror showed a handsome but worn-looking man. His long strawberry hair was more ruffled than usual, and there were slightly dark circles under his droopy eyes. He was absolutely appalled. First, he brushed his teeth to a sparkling white. Then, he washed his face three times, each time with a different cleanser. Finally, he gently rubbed his cherry blossom scented firming/sunscreen lotion all over his blemish-free skin. Unlike his macho-nacho comrades, Zoisite rarely had to shave.  
  
'When was the last time I had facial stubble? Half a year ago?'  
  
The other three kings and Prince Endymion always mocked him for being so unusually feminine. His face was as handsome as any man--"In fact, the most handsome!" he loved to crow--but his features were less strong and angular. They were soft curves that made him look innocent and childlike. He was also a little shorter than the rest of his friends. The fact that Zoisite practically didn't need to shave and the fact that he had silky, long, carefully conditioned hair gave them more reason to call him the "effeminate" one or use their favorite nickname for him.  
  
"Girly-boy Zoi! Do you sleep in front of the mirror or something?"  
  
'Girly-boy Zoi. Can't they at least come up with an original sounding nickname for me?!' "Why do you care, Jed? You have your own bathroom, so go drink the water out of your own toilet bowl!"  
  
"I would, but you used all of it's water because you wasted too much of your own water supply on shampooing your hair!" Jadeite yelled back through the bathroom door.  
  
"Don't listen to him, Zoi," advised Kunzite, who just stepped into Zoisite's room. "He just wants you to get out of your bathroom so he could use it because he clogged his toilet again."  
  
"Kunzite! Shhhh!" begged a flame-faced Jadeite.  
  
"HA! That's the third time this week you did that, Jadeite."  
  
"Go swallow some aftershave, Zoisite...oh wait--you don't shave!"  
  
"Better smooth and sweet than hairy and unattractive like you."  
  
"Both of you just shut up for a second," commanded Kunzite. "I came over to remind you guys to pack up all your necessities and toiletries. You can take up to two large suitcases of clothes and an extra smaller travel bag."  
  
"Make that three suitcases of designer clothing for Zoisite!" Jadeite yelled loudly.  
  
Both Zoisite and Jadeite were the wise guys of their clique of friends. The remarks they exchanged with each other seemed to be devastatingly scathing to an outsider, but it was something only best friends could understand and appreciate. A day without one smart-ass comment or one witty putdown was a dull day, indeed.  
  
As Zoisite exited his bathroom, Endymion danced merrily into his room while humming a happy tune. He was about to try to get Jadeite to dance with him again, but he remembered what happened the last time he tried to get Jadeite to waltz with him, so he quickly backed away a jumped up and down on Zoisite's bed.  
  
"Damn it, Endymion! I just got finished making my bed!"  
  
"Who cares! In exactly six hours, I get to see my Serenity again! Hey..." Endymion counted the number of people in the room: "1, 2, 3...where's Nephrite?"  
  
"I don't know. Before I came to talk to Zoi and Jed, I looked into his room, and his bed was already made. He probably went down for an early breakfast."  
  
Jadeite looked worried. "You mean to say that he had that same nightmare again. Funny, I didn't hear him scream like a mad woman last night. I told you eight years ago, and I'll tell you again: those Senshi girls are no good, rotten scoundrels."  
  
With the mention of the Senshi, the room went dead quite. After an awkward silence, Kunzite cleared his throat. "Does everyone know what time to be at the portal?"  
  
"Two forty-five," the other three answered automatically. Kunzite was not satisfied. Jadeite and Zoisite sighed and then added, "in the afternoon of today." Having reassured his fellow kings couldn't try to pull tricks to get out of this vacation, he also told them that breakfast, brunch, and lunch would be served at the same time that day until they left.  
  
Kunzite felt that he forgot to say something important, but he remembered in a second. "Don't forget to pack your two and a half month's supply of feminine products, Zoi."  
  
"My what?"  
  
"He means your tampons!" cried Endymion, adding his two cents in the "make fun of Zoisite because he's more in touch with his feminine side than what's considered healthy" fest.  
  
Having had their fill of poking fun at Zoisite, Endymion and company left the room like a pack of giddy sailors.  
  
Zoisite was used to being teased by his friends. He knew perfectly well that they didn't aim to really hurt him. In fact, he said worse things to them on a daily basis. It was all part of the manly ritual of saying stupid things to make oneself feel more manly. Zoisite didn't mind at all. He knew he spent more time on his looks than was necessary; women loved him no matter what.  
  
'Sure, I'm called the pretty boy of the Shittenou, but I'm also dubbed the "royal court's resident womanizer". Seems pretty fair to me. I mean, I can appreciate a woman and her morning rituals, can't I? Doesn't make me less of a man. What woman can resist a man who knows how to present himself? Uh huh, I'm too hot for this planet. Maybe I can add a couple dozen women on my "to do" list. The Silver Millennium is famous for breeding the most beautiful women in the galaxy. This trip might not turn out so bad after all.'  
  
Zoisite could have had any woman he wanted, not just because he was impossibly good-looking, but because he knew how to treat a woman. He knew exactly what to say to a woman to make her puddy in his hands, but contrary to popular belief, he truly did respect the female sex. Sure, he had his share of one-night stands, but those women knew he was only looking for a fling. He made sure that every woman he was involved with knew and agreed to his intentions. They were content with spending just one meaningless night with one of the Earth's most eligible bachelors.  
  
People wondered how Zoisite knew how to please a lady better than any other man on the face of the Earth and why he too was a little on the feminine side, though he was clearly a man in the mental and physical sense.  
  
Zoisite was the way he was thanks to a certain blue-haired Mercurian princess.  
  
**Eight years ago on the Moon**  
  
Young Zoisite was surprised that the ten-foot wide dinner table didn't stop the future Senshi and the future Shittenou from jumping over it and strangling each other. The tension was so thick that the spacious dining room of the wonderous Moon palace felt uncomfortably stuffy. The elder royals, who during the whole time were too caught up in memories to notice the tense atmosphere, were surprised when all the warrior-training children, including Princess Makoto the food enthusiast (of all people!), excused themselves before dessert was served. Luna and Artemis surreptitiously glanced at each other and shook their heads simultaneously, but Little Serenity and Endymion enjoyed one banana split together.  
  
Before the boys went to bed, they all took turns trying to get the horrid rotten colors off Nephrite's teeth. Around midnight, Zoisite miraculously whipped up a generally harmless bleaching solution by using some of the ingredients from the bathroom and the complimentary refrigerator, but Nephrite's tastebuds were really affected. Whether it was the potion that the princess of Jupiter used or Zoisite's bleach that almost destroyed Nephrite's sense of taste, they never found out.  
  
  
  
The famed rose gardens of the Moon were always calm and quiet, except for that night. In the center of the enormous hedge maze stood the five young princesses. Serenity, Rei, Minako, and Makoto stood in a circle with their arms raised up and each person with their hands clasped to the person next to them. In the middle of their circle kneeled Ami in front of a single lit wax candle and a tray that held a pen, a piece of paper, a lock of golden hair, a length of red ribbon, and a clean sewing needle. Each girl was in deep meditation, and they all chanted in low voices in an ancient tongue. Ever so slowly, the chanting stopped, and only the wind rustling through the willow branches and the hoot of an owl disrupted the silence.  
  
Rei, with her eyes still closed, whispered instructions to Ami. "We have recited the old but powerful spell of the honored dead for an hour, but only you, Ami-chan, can complete the ritual. If you do not concentrate and focus your energy into the flame of the candle, the spell may backfire and take its toll on you. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"  
  
"Positive, Rei-chan. Tell me what to do."  
  
"Alright. First, write the name of the one from whom you seek vengeance."  
  
Ami picked up the fountain pen and wrote "Zoisite Aufait" in her perfect handwriting on the scrap of paper.  
  
"Good. Now wrap the lock of hair that you took from the one who offended you in the paper you just wrote on."  
  
Right after they had excused themselves from the dining table, Ami "accidentally" bumped into Zoisite. What she actually did was quickly slice a lock of his light hair, but he thought she was just clumsy and unobservant.  
  
After Ami had done what she was told, Rei told her to tightly tie the roll with the red ribbon. "Now burn it," she added when the ribbon was secured. "Watch the flames intently. Imagine you see the face of the one you hate in the flames. Put all your energy into that tiny fire. As your desire to avenge yourself grows, the flame should grow taller. As your concentration increases, the flame should grow brighter." The small flame on the candle did indeed grow taller and brighter. "Finally, Ami-chan, you must prick your finger and allow a drop of blood to fall into the candle's flame."  
  
Ami, the princess who was considered too innocent and shy to participate in such arcane activities, readily picked up the needle, and without a second thought, pushed it into her index finger. A bead of crimson liquid began to form and fell into the candle. The flame burst so violently that the girls were all blown backwards. Then the flame completely disappeared, leaving the five young girls bathed in darkness.  
  
Minako let out a shuddered breath. "Rei-chan, was that supposed to happen?"  
  
"Yes, that means it was a success."  
  
"But are you sure it will work?"  
  
"I can't be entirely sure because we are forbidden to use this type of magic, and I'm not sure if these spells will work the way we want it to."  
  
"Hold on. What kind of magic is it anyway?"  
  
"Dark magic."  
  
Minako nearly fell backwards again, and Serenity, Makoto, and Ami covered their mouths in horror.  
  
"Dark magic?!" gasped Serenity. "Mama's gonna kill us! I didn't even get to say goodbye to Endymion yet!!"  
  
"Shhhh! It's not as bad as it sounds," Rei promised them. "It's called 'dark magic' because the spells were developed during the Dark Ages of Mars. They are only forbidden to us because only the elders are given the privilege to practice this kind of magic. The elders fear that young people like ourselves do not have enough experience in performing the rituals correctly. We could hurt ourselves. It has nothing to do with evil forces."  
  
Makoto let out a sigh of relief. "For a moment there, you scared me so badly. Look at poor Ami-chan. She went dead pale after you said it was dark magic, and she's already as white as snow."  
  
"When will the spell take effect?" asked Ami with the color back in her cheeks.  
  
"It will be effective by sunrise, and it will last for thirteen and a half hours," replied Rei.  
  
"It's late," complained Serenity, "and I'm tired. Can we go in yet?"  
  
"Sure, Usa-chan," answered Makoto. "We're all a little exhausted. But I'm sure the fatigue was totally worth it for you, wasn't it, Ami- chan?"  
  
"If this whole thing works out," said Ami, "Sleep will be the last thing on my mind. I'll be too busy looking around for a camera to remember the joyous occasion."  
  
  
  
Zoisite woke up bright and early the following morning. He had never felt so energized in his life, nor did he ever wake up before eight o'clock in his life. 'Must be the new energy drinks I've been mixing,' he thought. But something was not quite right. Though he felt charged up an well- rested, he felt the top half of his body feel a little heavier. 'I probably just have to get used to waking up early in the morning. Or maybe that muscle buildup workout is really paying off. Feel the burn!'  
  
His fellow princes were still asleep. They had two rooms that were joined together with one door. Each room had a separate bathroom, but the room contained two separate king-sized beds. Zoisite shared a room with Nephrite, and Jadeite roomed with Kunzite. Endymion's quarters were across the hall. Zoisite hopped out of bed and into the bathroom to admire himself in the mirror like he did every morning.  
  
One slip on the bathroom rug evoked a squeaky, shrill scream from his throat. It wasn't his normal "ouch!" when he fell hard to the ground, it was more of a high-pitched "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Zoisite never "eeked". He suddenly realized that the scream was not him, or at least, it wasn't his voice. 'What the hell is going on?' He ran to the mirror to see what was wrong with him.  
  
He didn't see himself in the mirror. *HE* saw *HERSELF* in the mirror.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed the girl. Zoisite heard his normal voice in his thoughts, but when he spoke, the girl in the mirror moved her mouth and a girl's voice came out. His....her hair was still the same length, but then he figured out why he felt a little heavier. Somehow over night, he had grown a modest chest!  
  
"Hey, not a bad size. I'm at least a B cup. My hair's softer, and my skin's a lot smoother too...WAITAMINUTE! I'm not a girl!! Why am I...How did...What's going on?!" Involuntary tears welled up in his eyes, now surrounded by long, flirtatious lashes, and poured down his cheeks. Zoisite the boy never shed a tear in his life! His mother could attest to that!  
  
"Zoisite?"  
  
Zoisite almost shrieked again, but he refrained from doing so. 'What should I do? Should I let the guys know? NO WAY! They'll laugh me out of this galaxy if they find out that I have somehow changed into a girl.' He decided to keep his unwanted sex change a secret. A secret for life. Dropping his girly voice as low as possible, he replied, "I'm alright, Neph. I just...uh...feel a little congested this morning."  
  
"Are you okay? I heard someone scream. Do you need help or anything?"  
  
"NO!! I mean, thanks, but I'm okay."  
  
"What's wrong with your voice, man?"  
  
"Remember? I feel sick."  
  
"I've heard you sick before. You've never sounded like this. Maybe it's really serious. Let me call a doctor."  
  
"NO!!!! I'm fine, damnit! Just tell the guys not to bother me today. I feel lightheaded, but I'll manage. Tell King James, Queen Gwendolyn, and Queen Serenity I'm sorry."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm sure, Neph. There's medicine in this cabinet. I'll be fine, so don't worry, and tell the others not to worry either. Just make sure they don't bother me while I sleep, okay? Don't let any chambermaids in our room unless I want them to, got it?"  
  
"Uh, sure Zoi. If you need anything, just call me or Kunz or Jed through the mental link. I'm going down to breakfast. See you later, Zoi. Hope you feel better."  
  
"Thanks." 'Finally, he's gone! Now I gotta figure out why this happened.' Zoisite took another good look in the mirror. Yup, he was definitely a girl now. He ran over to the door and locked all three locks.  
  
He couldn't go to the library and do some reseach, lest he be seen by his comrades. He was still recognizable, only female. He refused to disguise himself in women's clothing. It would have been the smart thing to do, but Zoisite's stupid boyish pride wouldn't allow one petticoat or stocking to touch his skin, nor would he allow one foot to be squeezed into a girl's low heel slipper.  
  
Throughout the entire morning and afternoon, Zoisite agonized over his predicament. Nothing made sense. Science actually failed him! That only left one reason: magic. Someone used magic to terrorize him, but who? And how long would he stay a girl? Another hour? Another day? For the rest of his life?!  
  
The most awkward part of his day was going to the restroom. 'How do girls pee sitting down?! It's so much easier being a guy, being able to stand up and do your business and go on your way. Then there's the whole toilet paper issue...it's far too complicated and time consuming! How do they deal with public bathrooms? Aren't the seats dirty? It sucks being a chick.' And while he did his business, he tried his best not to look down, and though he was very curious, it would just be too weird looking at himself but not really seeing himself at the same time. 'It could be worse. At least I'm not *gulp* menstruating. If that happened, I wouldn't know what to do.'  
  
In the evening, he heard a knock on the door. Zoisite immediately panicked. He was about to tell the intruder to go away in the same low voice he tried to use earlier when he noticed an envelope slipped under the door. He heard the light echo of footsteps die away in the hall, so he determined that it was safe to go over to the door and pick up the envelope. Zoisite was shocked to see "Zoisite Aufait" written in neat calligraphy on the envelope, and he savagely tore it open. 'This could contain an answer to my problem!' his heart sang. His eyes skimmed over the lines of the card inside. His eyes widened to an inhuman size and twitched uncontrollably after he finished reading the message. Then he dropped the papers, letting them float to the ground. The message read:  
  
"Now when you talk about girls being 'materialistic', you can speak from experience. Do you still think the male sex is the 'superior sex'?"  
  
"Princess Ami Mizuno," Zoisite cursed under his breath. "She did this to me. That little bug-eyed wretch did this to me! I'll kill her, I swear I'll--"  
  
*KNOCK KNOCK*  
  
"Zoisite? Zoisite? You haven't been out all day! Dinner is starting in ten minutes, and you haven't eaten anything since your last dinner. Come on, Zoisite, answer me!" pleaded Endymion. "The guys and I are really worried about you."  
  
"Zoisite," warned Kunzite, "If you don't unlock this door right now, the four of us will break it down and drag you out!"  
  
'Oh no! My cover will be blown!' "Alright, alright! I'll unlock the door, but only one of you can come in. I need space to breathe, you know."  
  
"Fine," agreed Endymion. "I'll go in."  
  
"Zoisite quickly unlocked the three locks and ran at lightning speed to his bed. He hid his entire body under the covers. He pretended to cough a rattling cough to make the act more convincing.  
  
"Hey, Zoi. You had us worried there, buddy. If you're sick, you have to eat something, so go downstairs and eat dinner with us, or at least have someone bring some food up."  
  
"Umm...I can't..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, I mean, I'm too tired."  
  
"Too tired to eat? Food gives you energy!"  
  
"No, but....." Zoisite couldn't think of a good or at least plausible excuse. He had to agree or else the consequences could get ugly. 'I'll just have the maid bring something up. I could just tell her to put it on the table while I'm still under the blanket and tell her to leave. It's still dangerous, but it's better to do that than go downstairs.'  
  
"Okay, Endy. Tell one of the servants to bring up some food then."  
  
"Great! I hear the cook made something special tonight. I'm sure you'll like it even if your...sickness might affect your tastebuds. At least you'll be able to taste more than Neph, right?" In a meant-to-be- friendly gesture, Endymion punched Zoisite in the chest and went out the room to call a servant.  
  
Zoisite wanted to cry. He had never felt such a mind-numbing pain in his life. Now he understood clearly why girls were so protective of their chest area. He had just discovered the hard way that it hurt! Especially since he was, at the moment, the equivalent of an adolescent girl, which meant that his newly acquired chest was still developing, which meant that if someone punched him there, it would hurt like hell.  
  
Zoisite promised never to make fun of girls ever again if he could just go back being a boy.  
  
As if the gods were listening to his earnest plea, Zoisite felt his body transform slowly. The chest he had began to...deflate was the only appropriate word...and he grew back to his original height. He ran to the bathroom, and to his great belief, he saw his own reflection, his real reflection. He kissed his reflection like he had never kissed before, and he hugged himself, slumped down against the wall, and cried in sheer happiness. For the first time in his life, as a boy, Zoisite cried. "Thank you, God!!! Oh, thank you!! I'm me again! The old, beautiful, *male* me again! Hahahahaha!!!!" He laughed and cried in overjoyed hysteria until the servant brought up his food, and even after he finished the meal, he laughed and cried some more until he fell asleep from happy exhaustion.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sorry this took so long. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Damn volleyball! Damn it to hell! I don't mean to offend any volleyball enthusiasts, but I hate it with a passion. It takes away the time I've planned to devote to my loyal readers.  
  
As for this story, I warn you now that it will be a long story. I don't believe in rushing things. I want to focus on the comedy first, and all other things I've promised will come in time.  
  
Review!  
  
REVIEW!! 


	8. Hair Today, Fair Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. It's as simple as that!  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
My list of people to thank:  
  
Much thanks to gassy2! You're the best!  
  
bunnymoon13: I want to cry right now....I'm so humbled because you put me as a "favorites" author. It's the best feeling in the world! Thank you!  
  
ATTENTION JADE! I read the message in the review thingy, and I sent you a message, but in case you did not receive it, I'm telling you now that I am so grateful that you would post this l'il fic on your website! Infinite thanks to you! And I appreciate the fact that you put me on your favorite stories list! :::smile:::  
  
Important Story Notes: Mina and Kunzite...the opposing leaders of these vengeful royals, come down in a showdown in this chapter! Place your bets! But this will be a two parter, so you won't see the conclusion of their past meeting until next time. Also, you might be reading some strange things, but it will all make sense in the end. Don't I always find some way to answer the mysterious questions that I stupidly bring up?  
  
And Another Thing: Royalty may be adressed in different ways. For example, people in the palace could call Minako:  
  
Princess Venus, Princess Aino, Lady Venus, or Lady Aino. It would be more informal by using her first name (i.e. Princess Minako or Lady Minako).  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 7: Hair Today, Fair Tomorrow  
  
**Present time**  
  
Even if Zoisite was a girl for just half a day, that half-day locked alone in his room gave him plenty of time to think about the hardships of being a girl. From that day on, he regarded women with much respect--at least with a lot more respect than before. He was still a purebred playboy, but he never cheated nor lied to a woman. With his suave comments and polished, gentlemanly manners, he made every woman feel as if she were a queen.  
  
Kunzite, on the other hand, favored another part of the brain. Kunzite's and Zoisite's personalities and interests were stark contrasts. Like black and white. Night and day. Grade "A" steaks and veggie burgers. To state it simply, there was a major difference between the likes and dislikes of the two men.  
  
And Kunzite detested women. Period.  
  
Often times he would reprimand his comrades about the dangers of women. "Never trust women. They're all-"  
  
"-Lying, conniving, secretive, two-faced, cold-blooded snakes," the rest would recite for him. They heard him complain about the evils of the fairer sex at least twice a day.  
  
Kunzite did not understand women and their ways. He didn't understand why they wore so much make-up or why they were so critical of what other women wore. He didn't understand why they gossiped about every single insignificant detail or why they started vicious rumors. He didn't get why women complained about effortless chores and harmless things such as broken nails. He didn't understand why women went to the restroom in unnecessarily large herds.  
  
'What the hell do they do in there anyways? Do they fall in the bowl and have to fish each other out or something?'  
  
Of course, being the king of the Northern Hemisphere, he was always courteous to a lady. At social gatherings, he would waltz with various partners, make small talk, and retrieve glasses of champagne for his female conversational companions of the evening, as a proper gentleman of the court should do.  
  
But he could still distrust them.  
  
He kept a noticeable distance from women; though he sometimes smiled and made light merry, there was always a thick restrained air about him. The court ladies learned many years ago to stop making an effort to become "Queen Kunzite Acoupser", for every attempt was destined to be an attempted failure.  
  
Most of all, Kunzite was painfully suspicious of and overly cautious around physically beautiful women. To him, their looks were their deadliest trap.  
  
'A trap into which too many men get caught.'  
  
Beautiful women were witches who put their victims under their spell, and once their prey had hopelessly fallen for them, they sucked every penny and every wisp of self-respect from the foolish, unwitting man. Kunzite vowed never to be entangled with such a woman, lest he be taken advantage of and have his heart smeared across the tapestry. Under those severe features was a real, feeling human being, but he wore his bachelor status like a suit of armor, complete with a full coverage face mask.  
  
Looks can be deceiving, and Kunzite himself had learned from experience.  
  
**Present time on the Moon**  
  
"Lady Venus! Lady Venus! If the royal guest chambers in the East Wing are going under construction, where are the queen and king of Earth going to stay?"  
  
"Lady Aino! What decorations should we order for their farewell ball?"  
  
"And in which colors?"  
  
"Princess Venus! Princess Venus! If Lady Jupiter is at the meeting, how can she make lunch for the royals as she said she would?"  
  
"Lady Venus, where did you want to send these letters again?"  
  
"Princess Aino, the ambassador from Callisto is on the line. Do you want me to take a message?"  
  
"Princess Aino! What should I wear for the arrival of the Terran royalty?!"  
  
Princess Minako Aino of Venus rubbed her eyes with a weary right hand and used her left hand to rub her temple. She was surprised to learn that she had enough energy to look up at the group of palace workers flooding into her office, which was littered with papers and cluttered with mugs of various flavors of strong coffee. Minako sat up, sucked in a deep lung- full of air, and rattled off:  
  
"I made sure there would be rooms in the West Wing prepared for their arrival late last night, and that will be their permanent quarters during their stay.  
  
"I left a message for Princess Setsuna regarding the decorations. I have complete faith in her, her fashion expertise and color coordination, so she will be in charge of that. She'll be coming from Pluto in a couple of days to discuss the details with the other interior decorators.  
  
"Princess Makoto made lunch before she left for the meeting, so tell the cooks that she left her creation in the pantry, and all they have to do is to reheat it.  
  
"The letters are to be sent to the Princesses Hotaru, Michiru, and Haruka. Make sure you deliver it directly to their hands.  
  
"Tell the ambassador to leave a message and tell her I will 'phone her back as soon as I possibly can.  
  
"And Lucy? You wear a uniform, so it shouldn't be hard to figure out what you're going to wear."  
  
The mob of people in her office made their exit to carry out their orders, and Minako allowed her forehead to smack hard onto her desk. Her head was certainly taking a beating that morning, so she figured that if she hit it hard enough, she would slip into unconsciousness and feel no more painful pressure.  
  
"Ugh...maybe not..."  
  
Her days were always busy, but this day was no ordinary day. In just a couple of hours, the royals from Earth were going to visit the Moon Palace for the first time in eight years, and the palace was in complete chaos. Servants were running amuck, finishing last minute chores and getting everything perfect and ready for the momentous occasion. That entire morning, she had not one moment to herself or a second of peace. Whenever she turned around, there was someone standing near barraging her with questions.  
  
She was ready to take her shiny, voluminous hair in her hands and pull it right out of her head.  
  
"Long hair is a hassle anyways. Maybe I should just go bald and start a trend."  
  
Being leader of the Inner Senshi was more than a hard job; it was a job in which she worked for twenty-four hours a day. Minako was head of security of the Silver Millennium as well as the one who distributed responsibilities and assigned missions to Sailor Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter. The fate of the Inner Senshi rested in her hands; the lives of her three closest friends, as well as the safety of the princess, the queen, and the kingdom's subjects rested on her shoulders. It never bothered her before, but today she was definitely feeling the weight.  
  
An Inner Senshi was a protector of the crown princess of the Moon, and danger could befall her at any time of the day. It didn't matter if it was 1:30 in the morning or if the princess was taking a shower. If something was threatening the life of the princess or the safety of the people in the palace, a Senshi had to be standing by, ready to sacrifice her life without giving it a second thought. That was her destiny, and Minako and her fellow Senshi had yielded to it ever since they were born. Serenity was the future of the Silver Millennium, and Usagi was their best friend. A lesser person would have been buried by the mountain of duty long ago.  
  
But Minako always looked radiant, and she always smiled her famous smile--the smile that thousands of men fell in love with. "Free time" was not in her vernacular, but she did her best to enjoy life to its fullest as if everyday was her last day to live. Stress dogged her every step, but she walked with carefree vivacity. Countless days were spent staring at boring diplomatic documents, but she looked at life with honest optimism; to her the glass was not half empty, but half full. It was simply her nature.  
  
But looking back at her life, there was one exception where her invincible buoyancy revealed it was not so invincible after all.  
  
**Eight years ago on the Moon**  
  
Little Minako was running full speed to her bedroom, a huge smile spread across her cute, chubby face. She had just received the newest book from her "Romantics Anonymous" book club, and she absolutely had to read it in the comfort of her room as soon as possible. Plus, she had to read it before Makoto or Usagi snatched it away and read it, too. Ami didn't quite approve of Minako's reading material, but as long as Minako was reading out of a real book, Ami didn't complain.  
  
Minako's long hair whipped wildly behind her and her copious skirts billowed as she sped blindly through the halls of the Moon palace. The excitement was killing her; the feeling she got when she read her romance books was incomparable. The colorful, saccharine, and overall fluffy pieces put into words everything that Little Minako wanted and wanted to be: a dashing Prince Charming, a bewitching maiden with luxurious waves of golden hair, and a timeless fairytale romance. Her preteen imagination transformed her into the alluring woman described in the pages of the novel, but little did she know that in a few years she would take that woman out of the fiction and become her.  
  
All her pleasant thoughts were knocked right out of her head and her book flew far from her hands when she turned a sharp corner and smacked head first into something.  
  
"Hey!" she heard the thing yell as she somersaulted backwards about three yards. She got tangled in her long blonde hair in the process, so she closely resembled a deformed ball of golden yarn coming undone in the hall. 'I need to start tying back my hair.' She also saw that a few of her skirts had gotten torn. 'Oh great. This is the fourth dress this week...Momma's gonna kill me.'  
  
"Why don't you put your eyes to use and watch where you're going?" inquired the derisive voice.  
  
"I'm so sorry for running into you-"  
  
"Don't be sorry for anything. A proper lady doesn't run through the tranquil palace halls like a crazed bull, but judging by your Olympic dash and unkempt form right now, you are obviously not a respectable young lady. So do all future innocent pedestrians a favor and start acting like a lady."  
  
Minako couldn't believe her ears. She had tried to apologize, and the incident was clearly an accident, but here was a person she had just run into, literally, who was already insulting her. She tried to get a good look at her antagonist through her mussed mane of hair, and she saw a tall boy with long, straight black hair.  
  
For just a stupid boy, he should have known better than to mock a princess of the Silver Millennium. After brushing most of her hair away from her face, she looked closely at the scoundrel who dared to insult her, the crown princess of Venus.  
  
Prince Kunzite (AN= you read correctly...don't doubt my sanity) was glaring down at her as if she were lower than the dirt on which he tread.  
  
Minako was about to pick up her dignity off the floor and slap him with a witty remark, but before she got anything out of her mouth, Prince Kunzite picked up the romance novel that had she had flung during her poor gymnastics display.  
  
"*True Love You*?" he scoffed. "Do you mean to tell me you were so excited to read some idiotic romantic drivel that you would run someone over just to indulge in it? You, girl, need to pick up something educational and learn something....or are you as blonde as you look?"  
  
"Excuse me, you pig-headed bastard-"  
  
"You're quite excused."  
  
"Just shut up for one second! Can I say something without your rude interruptions?"  
  
"I believe you meant to say '_may_ I say something'."  
  
"That's not my point...and stop trying to act so damn superior. You're just a kid, like me."  
  
"By standing next to you, I don't have to act."  
  
One could see the steam smoking from Minako's ears. "Who do you think you are? You may be some small town Earth prince, but I am crown princess of the planet Venus, and you know as well as I that you have no right to speak to me in such a manner. First, you say I'm not a proper lady. Next, you stick your nose into my business, insult my intelligence, and discriminate against blonde people. And for your information, blonde jokes are so old. I could have you beheaded because now you're on my turf. So why don't you take your own advice and learn some manners before you go criticizing me!"  
  
"So-called leaders who don't keep their fellow soldiers in line don't deserve to be shown any courtesy," Kunzite coldly replied.  
  
"What do you mean 'so-called'? I am the chosen leader of the future Senshi, and I am being specially trained for that position," she returned proudly.  
  
"Ha! I heard that you weren't even truly chosen for that position. You only got that title because no one else really wanted it."  
  
In the corners of her eyes, Minako could feel the shameful tears welling up, just waiting to fall and betray her. She was painfully aware that what he said was born in truth.  
  
The current head royals had discussed the matter when the girls were about seven years old. They debated over who would be the next future leader of the Senshi, which was a very serious and energy consuming position. Even at a young age, each of the four girls displayed much promise, so it was nearly impossible to pick one out of the quartet of equally talented girls. Before the elders chose any possible candidates, they first asked for the opinion of the girls themselves.  
  
Makoto didn't like the idea of being commander--she liked to jump into a fight head first without worrying about the ethics.  
  
Ami said the extra chief training would keep her from her studies-- she felt she would rather be an authority in the field of the mind.  
  
And Rei? She just didn't give a damn. But Rei's lack of ambition towards the Senshi Commander position came as quite a surprise to everyone since her mother, Queen Azalynn of Mars, was the leader of the Senshi in her generation.  
  
That only left Minako, who was spirited and enthusiastic about the position. She liked making important choices and being an active participant in anything. It gave her a burst of self-esteem, and she felt that she really could make a positive difference. The elders had no choice but to pass down the title to her.  
  
Minako did her best to learn leadership skills and procedures, and she excelled. She was proving to everyone that she deserved the title; the elders nodded in approval. But every now and then, she reminded herself that if Makoto, Ami, or Rei had competed against her for the role of Senshi leader, she probably would not have stood a chance.  
  
Clutching her fists tightly against her thighs, she stood to her full height, a bare 4'11", and looked Prince Kunzite straight in the eye. Without uttering a word, she was telling him that he had crossed the line.  
  
Kunzite saw the result of his cutting words, but he still retained the stony face he had practiced millions of times in front of the mirror. He pretended not to notice the hurt in her soft blue eyes. "What, no words of protest? This must mean that you admit that you didn't truly earn that shiny badge on your sailor fuku bow."  
  
Minako chose not to respond.  
  
"And it's apparent that that meaningless badge doesn't help you control your immature lackeys."  
  
That got her talking again. "Shut your cake-hole! You can insult me as much as you like, but don't you _dare_ talk crap about my friends! I swear, if I ever hear you say something like that again, I'll-"  
  
"You'll what? You can't even organize your Sailor Senshi into a _decent_ force, so what could you possibly do to me? A team is only as good as its leader, and judging by their childish and mean-spirited pranks, their leader must not be all that good. You're friends terrorized Nephrite to an unnecessary and ridiculous extent, and I don't know what they did to poor Zoisite, but he's hardly come out of his room these past two days! What kind of commander allows his troops to wreak havoc and attack important royal guests?"  
  
"Hold a sec, you hypocrite. My friends wouldn't have had to retaliate if your stupid friends hadn't started being horrible little freaks first. Your boys were the ones who started it, and my girls were only teaching them a much-needed lesson because you weren't doing your job in teaching them common sense and chivalry. It's not our fault that you little boys weren't reared properly."  
  
"I lectured them when I first heard that they offended two of the inner princesses, and I am making sure they are going to be severely punished when we return to Earth. That's what a responsible leader does. And what do *you* do? You go and ENCOURAGE your soldiers to get heavy revenge and put my friends in danger! I bet you even had a big part in helping them viciously attack Nephrite, and you must have done something really low and dirty to scare Zoisite that badly. I'm only fifteen, but I've learned to mature for the good of my boys and my people. And perhaps if you tried, you might be half as mature as myself. Unfortunately, you are a bad example as a friend, a princess, a leader, and a human being!"  
  
Young Kunzite paused long enough from his ruthless speech to hold Minako's book and wave it around in her face. "Stop wasting that pretty little head of yours on this teeny-bopper trash. Once you do that, then you can tell me about being a real leader." With a swift flick of his wrist, he tossed the book hard against the far wall, pivoted sharply on his heel, and briskly walked away.  
  
Watching the whole process in silent rage, Minako waited until his stiff form disappeared before she ran over to her brand new book. The spine was bent out of shape and its pages were almost completely torn out, but the damage to the book could not compare to the damage he had done to her pride.  
  
"He says I'm not mature enough?" she hissed through clenched teeth. "Fine. I'll make sure everyone sees how mature he is."  
  
  
  
Prince Kunzite was taking a nice, long, hot shower when he realized that there was no more shampoo in the bathroom. 'Damn Zoisite. The bottle was full yesterday! He's not allowed to bathe here before the rest of us anymore.'  
  
"Jadeite! You in the room? Jadeite! JADEITE!! Somebody please just hand me some shampoo!" he hollered, hoping that one of his friends or one of the maids heard him.  
  
The steam fogged up the whole glass shower door so much that it was almost opaque, but Kunzite was able to see the bathroom door opening and a figure walking through. He couldn't tell who it was, be he saw a head of tied-back blonde hair. "Hey Zoisite! Thank God you heard me because I didn't feel like running through the halls in a towel and having the young servant girls ogle me. For a rich place, they should really stock up the bathrooms more."  
  
Kunzite caught the shampoo bottle that was thrown over the sliding door and said thank you before the bathroom door closed again. 'Geez, Zoisite has been really moody and reticent lately. He hasn't made any smart-ass comments in the past two days. Hopefully he'll tell us later what's been bothering him.' Letting the hot water wash his concerns away, he lathered the shampoo all over his long ebony hair.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Kunzite was in his bedroom, drying his excessively moist hair with a towel. It was then that Endymion and Jadeite walked in and said, "Hey Kunz."  
  
"Hey guys," Kunzite said as he bent over, still rubbing the now soaking towel on his hair. "You guys should congratulate me for my community service today."  
  
"Community service?" asked Endymion.  
  
Kunzite smugly stood up straight and threw the towel in the hamper. "I gave that Venus girl the reality check that no one else had the guts to give her. You should have seen the look--why are you staring at me like that?"  
  
Jadeite and Endymion stood motionless, eyes bulging like inflated balloons and jaws nearly grazing the floor. For a moment, Kunzite had the impression of two dead fish with mouths agape. Then Jadeite violently shook his head, as if he had just woken up from a hypnotic stupor. With a shaking hand, Jadeite reached up and yanked out a few strands of Kunzite's hair.  
  
"Ow! What the hell was--"  
  
Kunzite never finished his sentence because the purely _white_ hairs in Jadeite's hand stole the words from his mouth. Kunzite bolted to the vanity mirror on the wall to his right, praying to see his normal self and his normal dark hair in the reflection. He did see his old self, only now with an *old* man's head of hair. Not a black hair was in sight. Not even gray! Just snowy, undiluted white.  
  
"Oh. My. GOD!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
And thus do I answer the question, "Why is Kunzite's hair so white?" The details of this evil plan will be revealed in the next chapter....AND *drum roll please* the two fiery young ones, Jed and Rei, will humiliate each other as I have set as a tradition in this stupid l'il story!  
  
Review, please, you wonderful people you. Thank you!  
  
  
  
  
  
I SAID REVIEW, DAMN IT!!!! 


	9. Killing Four Birds with One Stone

GASSY2!!!! My dear editor, I'm so sorry I couldn't send this to you! I tried to, but my computer is doing weird things, screwing up all the attachments I send. I'll try to fix the problem a.s.a.p.!  
  
Infinite thanks to...  
  
wingnut and mckttn! I think I've thanked one of you already (didn't there used to be a raegurly?) for putting me on your favorite authors list, but I'd rather thank you again than not thank you at all.  
  
Thank you, Leifang Fan! I did not know you put me on your list until I read that you did in the reviews section. I only know who puts me on their favorite authors list....sorry if I didn't thank you earlier. So thanks a bunch right now!  
  
Dear K. Wyse: Am I being repetitious in my words? Oh goodness, that's not good. Not good, not good, not good. Goodness gracious, I'm doing it again. I'm so sorry. I'll try to stop for good. Ah hell, I give up. Maybe you can give me some more pointers? Please?  
  
I'm sorry if you find my use of sentence structure and flow of words odd. All of my English teachers love my writing, so it would be hard to change my style after so many years. Sorry!!!  
  
Et merci beaucoup Gangsta Vidal! Vous etes si sympa et drole! Vous parlez francais aussi? Super! Mais ce n'est pas un livre...dommage. Il est magnifique? Je pense il est assez bete, non? (and I thought that "avoir faim" meant to be hungry.)  
  
Disclaimer: I feel a headache coming on. Oi, if you don't know that none of us fanfic authors own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, then you must have been living under a rock. A very big rock. Get with the program! I have not, do not, and will not own Sailor Moon.  
  
WARNING! = This is going to be the longest chapter yet. You guys keep asking for a longer chapter, so I did it this time. Now I'll make you regret it. It covers the holes of the last chapter, but it also includes the first part of the Rei/Jed encounter. Because this one is so long, you might not see another one for a while. Bear with me, people.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 8: Killing Four Birds with One Stone  
  
**Past continued**  
  
"Oh. My. GOD!"  
  
Kunzite's little friends could think of nothing to say for once in their lives.  
  
Jadeite just stood there and bit his lip, knowing that anything coming out of his wise-cracking mouth in the next five minutes would have made him as good as dead. Knowing Kunzite's temperament, it was wiser to make no comment and live than to make a comment and never see the light of day again.  
  
Young Endymion, always aiming to make everyone around him happy, tried to offer his friend some words of consolation. "It doesn't look that bad, Kunz. Your hair color now looks...unique. Yes, definitely a fashion statement. You were never a conformist anyways. I guess you could say it's fitting to your personality."  
  
But nothing would reach Kunzite's ears. A 4'11" starry-eyed blonde girl had succeeded in humiliating him in front of his friends and future combatants. Instead of being the smart leader he claimed to be, he only led himself into another one of their traps. For the first time in a long time, Kunzite felt that he had failed his comrades. He had failed himself.  
  
Then the self-pity dissipated and the tide of anger rose again. Seeing nothing but red, Kunzite slammed the door open and charged down the hall. He was so blinded by rage that he nearly crashed into Luna LaMerciere, Queen Serenity's regal advisor and the royal and beloved governess/trainer/teacher of the princess and the Senshi-in-training.  
  
Kunzite was tempted to slam his head against the hard marble floor for being so inconsiderate and careless of his actions. 'Pull yourself together, boy! Don't let that little wretch get to you.'  
  
"I'm terribly sorry Lady LaMerciere. I should be more careful."  
  
Luna was more than perplexed. "Excuse me, young man, do I know you?"  
  
"I almost forgot about this," he said, pointing agitatedly to his white mop of hair. "It is I, Prince Kunzite, my lady."  
  
"Oh dear! I did not recognize you without-" and then she too pointed up and down at his hair. "What happened, your Highness?"  
  
An uncomfortable silence saturated the air, for Kunzite could not think of a polite way to express the situation and to expose the scoundrel who violated him. Fortunately for him, Luna was not naive. She knew perfectly well what was going on between the girls and the young princes.  
  
People were always conscious of themselves when Luna was in the same room. Nothing, not even a speck of dust, escaped her critical eye. She could effortlessly piece together an accurate chain of events with the scarce links of information given to her.  
  
With Luna's solemn nod of understanding, Kunzite released a long sigh of relief. Luna could feel another white hair sprouting through her scalp. "I assume Princess Minako is the main source of your misfortune, and though it can not help you, I apologize on behalf of our people. We are disgraced for allowing this madness to negatively affect our honored guests."  
  
'Finally,' thought Kunzite, 'a civil person among the savages!' "I do not blame anyone but the offender, and I do not wish to ruin the holiday of His and Her Royal Highnesses by making this incident public."  
  
"You are a wise young man," complimented Luna, eliciting a pleased smile from Kunzite. "Now let us see if we can do anything about your hair."  
  
"That's alright, Lady LaMerciere. I do not want to waste your valuable time any longer. I'll just have Zoisite take care of this for me." He truly did not want to occupy Her Ladyship's time, but what Kunzite really feared was going to the laboratory of Princess Mercury, who was one of *them*. He bet that the wicked Venusian princess even persuaded the quiet, timid, blue-haired genius princess to offer a big hand in his predicament.  
  
  
  
**Flashback**  
  
Makoto, Rei, and young Serenity were visiting Ami in her mini laboratory where she ran all sorts of funny tests. Ami was working diligently, mumbling to herself and taking the pencil behind her ear to jot down notes, while the other three girls watched with interest. They didn't understand a thing that their intelligent friend did or said during the critical moments of an experiment, nor were they as passionate about science as Ami was.  
  
If they were lucky, Ami made a mistake in her calculations, and they got to see mixed chemicals in the test tube blow up in little Ami's face in a spectacular mushroom of colorful smoke, making Ami look something akin to a clown struck by lightning. It was great entertainment for a lazy afternoon.  
  
Just when Ami was adding a last drop of a red liquid into her solution, Minako burst into the room, startling all of them and provoking Ami to add one too many drops into the vial. The event that Serenity and the other Senshi anticipated finally occured when the violent chemical reaction exploded in Ami's clean and small face. The final result was turning Ami's skin a deep blush from the collar up, dying her hair pink and purple polkadots, and making it stand on end.  
  
As far as Rei, Makoto, and Serenity were concerned, the experiment was a success, but the fun was cut short when they saw their best friend in stress. "Goodness, Mina-chan!" exclaimed Ami. "Whatever is the matter?"  
  
Following the unpleasant encounter with Prince Kunzite, Minako stalked through the palace in search for the comfort only her friends could provide her. Only they understood what the life of a Silver Millennium princess and a Senshi was like. They understood the trials of growing up. They understood what girls understood most: each other.  
  
She had tried not to shed any tears of anger or mortification, but at the sight of her friends, Minako couldn't hold back. She ran into the comforting arms of her soul sisters, and she cried.  
  
"Shhh, it's okay, Mina-chan. We're here," consoled Makoto. Serenity searched Makoto's gaze for an answer, but Makoto looked towards pink and purple polkadotted Ami, who exchanged glances with Rei. They seemed to read the entire situation, but they just bowed their heads low and continued to rub Minako consolingly on the back.  
  
A couple tears and five minutes later, Ami said, "Do you want to talk about it now, Mina-chan?" For the first time, Minako took her face from Makoto's shoulder and really observed her surroundings. She took in Ami's ridiculous red skin color and the pink and purple polkadotted hair standing on end, and she laughed out loud so hard that the former tears returned as tears of laughter.  
  
"I'm so glad I can make you laugh so easily," mumbled little Ami, eyeing her chemical set dubiously. Minako laughed even more and gave all her friends a big hug.  
  
"Sorry Ami-chan, but you look redder than the time Prince Frederic 'frog lips' of Io kissed your forehead in kindergarten!"  
  
"Thanks for the memories I've tried so hard to forget."  
  
"You're more than welcome," said Minako. She was feeling much better already. "I'm sorry if I worried you guys earlier, but I was just so angry and frustrated at myself...and..."  
  
"And at someone else in particular," finished Rei.  
  
Minako nodded. "How did ya guess, Rei-chan?"  
  
Rei was offended. "I never 'guess'."  
  
Ami spoke up as she washed her face and hair to their normal colors. "If you don't feel up to telling us what happened, I think I can give everyone a rough sketch of things." Minako nodded mutely, so Ami continued:  
  
"You ran into the room, pretty unhappy. You, the happy-joy-joy Mina- chan, are only unhappy when one of these three things happen: a) something bad has happened to a loved one, b) your "Romantics Anonymous" book club is not on time, or c) someone insults your capability as a soldier.  
  
"Your expression and outburst told me that you weren't really sad, but angry. That leaves b) and c). I see you have one of those romance books in your hand, so that rules out b), which only leaves c) someone must have insulted your capability as a soldier.  
  
"You usually don't care about what other people say about you personally, Mina-chan, so the offender must have said something really mean. Probably about your leadership skills and about us, then. I also see the book has been roughly handled, but you take really good care of your romance books, so that must mean that someone else did the damage. The only people I can think of that would have the nerve to disrespect a princess and her belongings are....[dramatic pause]...the four princes of Earth!  
  
"Now which one did it?" Ami asked herself. "All of them are pretty bold and rude, but none of them would dare disrespect the appointed Senshi leader. All except the high-and-mighty commander himself, Prince Kunzite!"  
  
Minako nodded her head vigorously. "Exactly!" Serenity and Makoto applauded Ami's reasoning, and Rei gave a thumbs up. Minako felt the fury rise up in her again, and she spent the next half an hour complaining, cursing Kunzite, and giving them the rest of the details of the incident.  
  
Makoto jumped to her feet. "It's bad enough those idiots have offended Ami and me, but they're going too far now. They're going after our future commander! They have no respect for anyone, do they? They're trying to prove that they're not afraid of the powerful Silver Millennium, but boy will they regret ever hearing of our names!"  
  
Serenity bit her lip. The last thing she wanted was troubling her Endy's friends. All she wanted was for everyone to get along or to at least act amicable with each other. It hurt her to know that Endymion was probably stuck in the same stupid dilemma as she was, but her friends needed her, and they were top priority.  
  
Little Minako continued her rant. "He says he's more mature than I'll ever be! I'm sure he is. He's got his head so far up his butt that all he sees is himself! He says I'm not a fit leader. Who is he to talk?! How dare he, the little pus bag! He's totally got it backwards. Backwards, backwards, backwards! I'll show Mr. Maturity what this 'little girl' can do. But how to go about it?" She looked at Rei questioningly.  
  
"I'm flattered that you come to me for evil schemes," said Rei sarcastically, "but if you guys keep taking my ideas, what will I do if I need an idea for myself?"  
  
"You're right. I'm supposed to be a leader, so I should be able to come up with my own plans and execute it myself."  
  
"No!" cried Makoto. "You think of the plan, but don't leave us out of the action! Remember what we promised each other: we're in this war together."  
  
Minako smiled thankfully at her partners in crime. "Yeah. Hey, I got it! Ami, is there a way to make a permanent hair dye?"  
  
"Of course, but it would be easier to just buy it."  
  
"No, no, I mean, change a person's hair color forever?"  
  
That gave Ami pause. "Forever?"  
  
"Forever," affirmed Minako.  
  
"In that case....no, I've never heard of such a thing. But I think I could give it a shot in the lab."  
  
"Great! To the drawing board!"  
  
A while later, Minako and Rei were outside Kunzite's and Jadeite's door. Ami discovered a formula that met Minako's standards, and in a matter of minutes, she had whipped up a bottle of shampoo that was definitely not an everyday bottle of shampoo. The secret formula was like an intense bleach that soaked deep into the scalp and worked from the roots down with immediate and permanent results.  
  
Unfortunately for Ami, the process of developing the shampoo created a huge mess in her lab station, so she and Makoto stayed behind to clean up and destroy any traces of evidence. Serenity went outside to play with Endymion and his friend Jadeite.  
  
"Alright, Rei-chan," whispered Minako to Rei in the empty hallway, "you stay in front of this door and keep watch. If anyone happens to come by, speak loudly enough so I can hear, and if you must, create a good diversion."  
  
"Okay. Careful, Mina-chan."  
  
With the stealth of a cat, Minako tip-toed into the room. She heard running water within the bathroom. 'Perfect timing. But how do I get in without being noticed? Hmm...he's probably taking a hot shower, so there should be enough heat to steam up the glass.' She tied her hair back into a messy bun so she wouldn't look too obvious through the foggy glass.  
  
"Jadeite! You in the room? Jadeite! JADEITE!! Somebody please just hand me some shampoo!" she heard him holler. Taking a deep breath, Minako opened the door and slowly walked in, hoping that her assumption was correct.  
  
"Hey Zoisite! Thank God you heard me because I didn't feel like running through the halls in a towel and having the young servant girls ogle me. For a rich place, they should really stock up the bathrooms more." Minako wanted to pat herself on the back. 'Good. He doesn't see me through this steam. And what a dork. There's shampoo in the extras drawer, but he's too stupid to look. This will teach him not to be lazy.'  
  
She threw the bottle of shampoo over to him and wordlessly exited the bathroom. 'Success!' She hurried out of his room, but she was surprised to find that Rei was not guarding the door.  
  
Then, a strong hand clutched her shoulder. 'Oh God. I'm in trouble now!' Minako could feel her pulse racing wildly a thousand times per minute, the rhythmic beat deafening her ears. Beads of cold sweat trickled down her burdened brow, and she had forgotten how to breathe. The unavoidable chill ran a cold finger up her little spine, but she managed to turn around and face her captor.  
  
"Rei-chan! Girl, don't scare me like that!"  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I used an invisibilty spell to hide myself, and for a second I forgot I was still under the charm when you came out."  
  
"Invisibility spell? Why didn't I think of that?"  
  
"It doesn't matter now. Is the deed done?"  
  
"Yup. If he thinks he's so grown up, I might as well help him in adding a couple of decades to his appearance. Remind me to take Ami's camera later."  
  
**End of flashback**  
  
  
  
Nephrite, who had emerged from his recent black mood to offer moral support, sat quietly next to Kunzite, who was bent over the seat with his chin sitting grimly on his palms. Lady Luna LaMerciere left a while ago, saying she had some business to straighten out. Young Zoisite was hunched over a high-powered microscope with one of Kunzite's newly white hairs between the glass slides. Zoisite fingered his chin and mumbled strange things to himself, both actions being signs of great interest and critical thinking.  
  
Finally, he pushed his rolling chair away from the microscope, stretched his stiff limbs, and walked towards his anxious albino-haired friend with his hands clasped behind his back.  
  
"Would you like to hear the good news or the bad new first?"  
  
"I don't care!" snapped Kunzite, a little more harshly than he meant.  
  
"You're not making this any easier on yourself. Anyways, the good news is that there are no further reactions or any harmful side effects in connection with the color change."  
  
"That's good," commented Nephrite, trying to raise Kunzite's spirit.  
  
"The bad news is...umm...Well you see..."  
  
"Come on Zoi, just tell us," Nephrite prodded.  
  
Squinting one of his eyes in trepidation, Zoisite revealed, "It'll stay that color for a very, very long time."  
  
Kunzite leaned closer to him. His voice was low and almost choked when he asked, "How long?"  
  
"[Gulp] It's an everlasting dye. It's...permanent...for the rest of your life."  
  
Zoisite was saved an earful of pained profanity when Jadeite rushed into the room immediately.  
  
"Ha ha!" laughed Jadeite, still puffing hard after his hurried run but grinning from ear to ear. "Guess what, Kunz! Hmm...not in the mood for guessing, I see. No matter, because I'm gonna tell you anyways! I just heard that the wonderful Lady LaMerciere has seen that justice was done, my friend."  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Nephrite. "I don't see how justice can be done when the damage on Kunzite is permanent."  
  
"Wow, that serious? You mean *permanent* permanent?"  
  
Zoisite spoke through clenched teeth. "You don't need to remind him, Jadeite."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But as I was saying, Lady LaMerciere marched over to Princess Venus's room and gave her the lecture of the century! And I thought Kunzite was tough on us. I heard her voice penetrate through these thick palace walls from the royal gardens! Lady LaMerciere threatened that if she did anything like this to you or anyone else ever again, she would be stripped of her commander's title and be suspended from the Moon. The good lady also cut off the princess's membership to her favorite book club and sentenced her to a year's worth of morning and night servant duties! 'I know you were not the only one involved,' said she, 'but as the chosen leader of the esteemed Sailor Senshi, you are supposed to set a good example for your team, and thus you will be punished!' A princess doing the servants' work....priceless!"  
  
The light returned to Kunzite's gray eyes as he listened to Jadeite's revitalizing report. Unexpectedly, he sprang from his seat and laughed along with Jadeite. "I knew it!" he sang as he playfully punched his friends in the arm. "What goes around comes around. I almost believe that this whole hair disaster was totally worth it! Boys, this calls for a celebration!"  
  
  
  
Every inch of surface in the South Wing of the Moon palace gleamed so brightly that it would be sacrilegous to desecrate the cleanliness with a profane footprint. In one of the spotless corners of the hallway kneeled Minako, who had scrubbed the floor with her hot sweat and bitter tears.  
  
Why was fate so cruel to her? Not only did Luna cut off her membership to her favorite book club, but she had to accept this unjust punishment for giving Prince Kunzite exactly what he deserved. She, a crown princess of a powerful planet, was doing the servants' chores while the nasty Earth prince was mocking her from his comfortable luxury suite. 'Life is so not fair!' her mind screamed.  
  
Light snoring beside her interrupted her indignant thoughts. Little Ami and Makoto had already fallen into an exhausted alseep. Ami rested her head on Makoto's lap as they both slept against the cold stone wall. 'Poor girls,' thought Minako. The Chibi (AN: small) Senshi had insisted that they went through the punishment together.  
  
"We can't just sit around and watch you suffer by yourself, Mina- chan!" protested Rei. "What kind of friends would we be then?"  
  
"She's right," said Ami. "An individual is strong, but a team is stronger."  
  
"It sounds cliche, but real friends stick together. Plus, I like house cleaning," added Makoto.  
  
So Ami, Makoto, and Rei picked up a bucket and sponge and helped Minako wipe down the entire wing. 'I'm so lucky to have found friends like them.' But Minako drew the line when Princess Serenity wanted to get on hands and knees and help them too. "Absolutely not, Princess!"  
  
"Why not?" whined Serenity. "You're my friend too! How come you let Ami and Rei and Makoto help you but not let me share the punishment?"  
  
"I know you care about me and want to volunteer like the other girls, but you are the princess of the Silver Millennium! I can't let you lower yourself to these menial chores. That's scandalous!"  
  
"We would just get in more trouble if we let you," said Makoto. "It's okay, Usa-chan. We'll take care of Mina-chan, and we'll all be fine. Just go upstairs and continue your school lessons with Luna and Artemis."  
  
Baby Serenity was hurt, but Minako wouldn't let her try to change their minds. She and Rei literally picked her up and dragged her up the stairs while she kicked, screamed, and protested all the while. 'She meant well, but that hurt like hell!'  
  
*Ding* chimed the old grandfather clock. 'Oh gosh, it's one o'clock in the morning. We cleaned the entire night, and we'll be doing this for a whole year! By the time I'm thirteen, I'll look like I'm thirty! Kill me, kill me now.' Minako ran an arm across her forehead in defeat. She had never felt so tired in her life.  
  
After putting away all the cleaning products in the storage room, Rei returned to the corner where the three girls rested. She stood her aching back against the wall and slid down to sit next to Minako, creasing her already frumpled skirt even more. Minako let her head fall on Rei's petite shoulder, and the two wakeful girls sat like that in silence for a long moment.  
  
"Rei-chan," said Minako as dawn slowly approached, "I'm so sorry for getting you guys into this. You guys didn't have to, and you shouldn't have either. Thank you..."  
  
"Don't thank us, Mina-chan. We're just doing what friends are supposed to do. It's late...er...it's early. Let's wake Ami-chan and Mako- chan and get them into their beds."  
  
"But they're so tired...I don't wanna wake them up. How about you carry Mako-chan up to her room and I take Ami-chan?"  
  
"Why do you get to carry the lighter load?"  
  
"Because you're so strong, Rei-chan!"  
  
"Hey, you got us into this remember?"  
  
"But Mako-chan's too heavy for me to haul upstairs!"  
  
"I heard that...." mumbled Makoto, cracking open one sleepy eye. She lightly nudged Ami until she too came out of her dreamless sleep.  
  
"Hmm...what time is it?" yawned Ami.  
  
"Past one already," answered Minako as she stood up. "Come on, let's get you guys off the hard floor and into a nice, warm bed."  
  
Putting out both of her hands, she pulled up Ami and Makoto. They started to walk towards their bedrooms but stopped midway up the staircase. Rei had not moved from her spot.  
  
"You guys go ahead and get some sleep," she ordered softly. "I forgot to do something."  
  
"Can't it wait until morning?"  
  
"This is something that can't wait." Rei's voice was eerily steady and quiet. Though she stood with fortitude straightening her spine, her head was bent down, hiding her unreadable face in shadow. She then calmly folded her arms in front of her chest and began to walk away.  
  
"Rei-chan! Where are you going?" Makoto interrogated.  
  
"Come back, Rei-chan!" pleaded Ami.  
  
Rei walked on, ignoring them.  
  
"Sailor Mars, halt!" commanded Minako, assuming her role as Senshi leader. The dark-haired girl finally froze at the order of her commander. "I demand that you tell me what you're planning to do."  
  
"I don't want anyone to get involved. You were already penalized, Mina-chan, and I don't want you, Ami-chan, or Mako-chan to get punished any further. If someone finds out, I'll take full responsiblity, and that means I do this alone. You guys can help me by not getting in the way."  
  
Rei's meaning was made clear; she was going to avenge her friends. She put her hand up to silence their objections. "Ami's priceless family heirloom, Makoto's one-of-a-kind rose bush, and Minako's revoked privileges. All of your noble names and gentle souls dragged in the dirt. Enough is enough. Don't worry...I'm not going to do anything too drastic...it'll be harmless...But please, don't stop me."  
  
Minako bit her lip. It was all up to her, the final say among the Senshi team. 'Duty or friend...common sense or instinct.. responsibilty or trust?' After weighing everything in her head, she realized that there was no contest.  
  
"Be careful, Rei-chan."  
  
  
  
The morning after the boys' joyous victory party greeted them with renewed ambition. Prince Kunzite had let go of his previous digust over his colorless hair. His self-control reasserted itself, reminding him that appearance did not affect his abilities or his influence on people. 'How could I have let such a petty thing get to me?' he asked himself over and over again.  
  
The four lesser Earth princes were gathered in one of the rooms, the topic of discussion ranging from fighting techniques to the newest technology in warfare. It was typical "male" conversation.  
  
"Come in!" said Nephrite when someone knocked on the door. "Morning, Endy!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Good morning, guys," Endymion responded.  
  
"Where were you last night?" asked Jadeite. "You missed a really great little party here."  
  
"Oh...I was just spending some time with my parents."  
  
"That's too bad because you missed all the fun!"  
  
"Fun?"  
  
"Yeah, celebrating the loss of the Sailor Senshi!"  
  
"So you guys actually threw a party for the occasion?"  
  
"Of course! You okay, Endy?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing, I'm fine. I just came over to tell you guys to spend some time outside of the palace. You guys look like you need something interesting to do, and I hear that the marketplace is a really fun area. You guys seem trapped in this formal atmosphere and don't look as energetic as you usually are. It'll be healthy for you."  
  
The young bodyguards didn't like the idea at first because they didn't want to leave their prince unprotected. "I'll be fine," he assured them. "It's perfectly safe here. For me, at least."  
  
Zoisite still had other doubts. "But we're pretty high profile people. We can't just go prancing around in the marketplace without someone coming up to us and talking their head off."  
  
"I thought you'd say that," said Endymion, "so I gathered up some peasants' clothes so you can go in disguise."  
  
"Smart thinking, Endy. Wow, you must have given this some thought. Are you coming with us, Endy?"  
  
"Naw, I promised to take Princess Serenity to the royal park."  
  
So in just an hour, the four princes of Earth were in the guises of country peasants walking through the lively streets of the Lunarian marketplace. All sorts of people were going in and out of neat little shops. Many people were of Lunar origin, but others were obviously tourists from other planets and galaxies. The marketplace lived with dancing colors, breathed the aroma of the vendors' tasty treats, and sang the infectious song of the salesmen.  
  
"Roses for sale! Buy a rose for your sweetheart!"  
  
"Gold and silver and gemstones galore! Rare pieces at great prices!"  
  
"Pastries, two for the price of one!"  
  
Kunzite, Nephrite, Jadeite, and Zoisite were enjoying themselves very much. The marketplaces on Earth weren't even half as diverse or animated as this one on the Moon. They had a renewed sense of adventure in their costumes, and they loved the newfound freedom of anonymity. People talked and joked with them, things that they wouldn't have done if they were dressed up like foreign royalty.  
  
One hour into their trip, they came across a pawnshop. The dealer was a hunched but kindly old man with a long white beared that swept the ground. "What can I do for ye lads?"  
  
"We're just browsing," replied Nephrite, admiring the strange collections of stuffed tropical birds and the antique telescopes. His gaze fell upon a shiny new microscope, which looked vaguely familiar. "Hey Zoi, doesn't that look like your microscope?"  
  
Zoisite came over and studied it. "That does look like mine. Who'd be dumb enough to sell a good....HEY! THAT _IS_ MY MICROSCOPE!"  
  
"Excuse me, laddie, but I don't remember you selling it to me," said the pawnbroker.  
  
"That's because I never sold it to you! Where did you get it?!"  
  
"Well, really early this morning, in the wee hours before sunrise, someone came and sold it to me for a really cheap price. Nice person, that."  
  
"WHO?!"  
  
"Don't know. Person was in a cloak and spoke really low. Couldn't tell if t'was a lassie or laddie."  
  
Jadeite then ran over to the others with a jeweled dagger in his hands. "You guys! This is _my_ dagger that my uncle gave to me!"  
  
"My favorite astronomy books are in this store, too!" exclaimed Nephrite. "And there's the chain my father gave me!"  
  
"That's the gold compass I brought with me!" yelled Kunzite, pointing to the glossy compass on one of the high shelves. "Zoisite, look! That's your mini computer! And there's Jadeite's radio! My swords are here, too!!!"  
  
"I don't know what's goin' on here," said the old man, "but I'm afraid I can't return these things to ye. I paid good money for these items, so if you want them back, you'll have to pay."  
  
"This is OUTRAGEOUS! We have to pay for our own possessions?!"  
  
The boys discovered that more than half of the things that they had brought with them from Earth ended up in that small pawnshop, and they had spent over 1,000 gold coins and 60 silver pieces to get all their things back. The old man was so happy that he made so much profit that he didn't even think about why four teenage peasant boys were paying him with bags of gold.  
  
By the time they left the pawnshop, they were back in their foul moods. Their bad luck from the Moon palace was ubiquitous, following them outside as well.  
  
"Could this day get any worse?" groaned Kunzite.  
  
Nephrite dropped his bag of items on the ground. "It just did."  
  
"Oh God, now what?"  
  
"Look to your left."  
  
To their left was a dirty looking young man in clothes fit for a prince. His hair was long and disheveled, and his skin was both swarthy and sunburnt. Grime completely coated his hands and had gotten under his fingernails, and he slouched on the bench with his legs spread wide open. He certainly did not act or look like a true gentlemen, but his clothes were clearly those of a nobleman. The conundrum suddenly made sense when the insignia of earth on the breast of the shirt glimmered in the sunlight.  
  
In a flash, the four boys surrounded the mismatched man in the Terran clothing.  
  
"Excuse me, Sir," said Nephrite, "but where did you get your attire?"  
  
The young man looked up at the boys in peasant clothing, spit on the ground, and pointed to a long line of ragged men ahead of them. "Over there," he said lazily. "The donations office recently got a nice load of clothes from a generous anonymous person, and they're distributing the clothes to us poor folks. You boys look little better than me, so I'm sure you can get a set of nice clothes like mine. Better hurry though 'cause there's a long line o' men waiting for a snappy makeover. I look good enough to marry the Moon princess herself!"  
  
The four boys left the the poor peasant cackling to himself. "Great, just great!" exclaimed Jadeite in exasperation. "Not only were most of our worldly possessions sold in a pawn shop, all our clothes have been stolen and donated to the peasants of the Moon, too! In a matter of minutes, people will be parading around the marketplace in ill-fitting noble's clothes! People will see the Earth symbol on the clothes and think that we Terran people are all a bunch of filthy bums! And since we're costumed in peasants' clothing, we don't even have one outfit for ourselves!"  
  
"Someone really wants to make us look bad. Why did this happen? Who'd do such a thing?" questioned Nephrite.  
  
Jadeite laughed cynically. "Who do you think, genius?"  
  
"Let's get back to the Moon palace and get to the bottom of this," directed Kunzite.  
  
But Jadeite already had one person in mind who he suspected was underhanded enough to publicly embarrass them. 'I'd expect nothing less from the a descendant of Ares.'  
  
  
  
The boys made it safely into the palace without anyone recognizing four Terran royals dressed down in tweed and rags. As they filed into their shared living room, they saw Endymion lounging on the crimson velvet sofa reading a historical novel. The crown prince looked up at the four boys and said, "This is a private guest room. No servants aloud in here without permission or specific instruction."  
  
"Endy, stop joking around," said Kunzite. "I'm not in the mood right now."  
  
Hearing the familiar voice of his friend, Endymion's head shot up violently from the pages of his engrossing book. "Kunzite? Guys? Is that...oh gosh, it *is* you guys! What are you doing costumed as peasants?"  
  
"Are you feeling okay, Endy? Don't you remember anything from this morning?" Zoi queried. "And didn't you say you were spending the day with Princess Serenity?"  
  
This did not make things any clearer to Endymion. "What are you guys talking about? I haven't seen the princess today, I never talked to you guys this morning. I was downstairs eating breakfast with my parents, and when I came up here, you all were already gone."  
  
Now they knew something was definitely off, and Nephrite was more than a little impatient. "But this morning, you came into our room, said hi, chatted a bit with us, and suggested that we take a day off in the marketplace disguised as peasants so we wouldn't be bothered."  
  
Endymion laughed. "That has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard."  
  
"So you really never came over this morning?"  
  
"I told you already, this is the first time I've seen you today. Now tell me what the hell is going on." They told Endymion about the conversation they held with the "fake" Endymion and informed him about the pawn shop disaster and the unknown donation of all of their clothes.  
  
"So let me get this straight," Endymion thought aloud. "There was someone who 'impersonated' me this morning who told you guys to go to the Lunar marketplace as peasants. Then you guys discover that all the things you brought with you from home somehow ended up in a pawnshop. And now all the poor men in the capital of the Moon are wearing your clothes?"  
  
"You make it sound soooo simple," groaned Jadeite. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off above his blonde head. 'The insidious style of the crime and the sheer cruelty of the public humiliation could only be the work of one person,' reasoned Jadeite. "Oh God. This whole thing was a dirty trick. The elaborate mimic of Endy, the pawnshop, the stolen clothes. Damn it, we were set up!"  
  
"You're right!" exclaimed Zoisite. "This evil person wanted to lure us into the marketplace to see for ourselves what havoc he or she wreaked!"  
  
Dangerously close to his boiling point, Jadeite tried to mitigate his infamous temper as he said: "I'm sorry, Endymion, but I cannot be held responsible for my future actions against your crazy cousin!"  
  
"What?!" gasped Endymion. "Impossible! Cousin Rei can be one to fear, I'll admit that, but you can't go blaming her without any proof! And even if she did do this, as you're so certain that she did, then she probably had a good reason!"  
  
Jadeite was already opening the door. "I understand your concerns, Endy, but that doesn't justify what she did to all of us. Excuse me now, because she's not getting away with anything." He said nothing more as he hastily closed the door behind him.  
  
"Jed, wait!"  
  
"Let him go," advised Kunzite as he pulled Endymion's arm to keep him from running after their departed friend. "In other cases, I would have tackled him down to keep him from disrespecting another member of royalty, but this is something that has been inflicted upon all of us. Jadeite is just going to set things straight with Princess Rei, and he knows better than to touch a hair on your cousin's head. I'll personally kill him if he crosses that line."  
  
  
  
'Where is she?' Jadeite questioned himself. 'She doesn't seem like the type to run and hide.' The most logical place to look for the Martian princess was her own room, he reasoned. As he bolted down the Hall of Mars, he felt the dour stares of the men and women of the portraits penetrating his back. When he finally reached the end of the hall, sweaty and out of breath, a beautiful young lady materialized out of thin air in front of the entrance of the Martian princess's door. Her smooth alabaster skin glowed brilliantly against the black cedar of the door, and her lustrous ebony hair snaked down her graceful figure. She looked heavenly, but barely past her adolescence, yet her eyes were those of a matured woman, beholding many years of attained wisdom.  
  
Young Jadeite was so awed that he almost did not hear her soft voice. "You must be Prince Jadeite Amerveille."  
  
Such words were the last things he expected to come out of her mouth. "How do you know me? Who are you?"  
  
"I am Phobos Olivus, Princess Rei's personal guardian and attendant. My small lady asked me hand this to you." In the same manner she appeared, a red envelope fell into her hands. She then handed it to the stunned prince.  
  
"She was expecting me?" Jadeite was aware that his opponent was cunning, but he didn't quite know how cunning she was. 'I really have to be careful, now.'  
  
Jadeite turned the envelope around in his hands. It was a deep rose color with elegant gold floral trim around the corners and sealed with a black wax imprint of the symbol of Mars. Carefully, he opened it and took out the matching piece of stationary. Written in shining gold ink was a single sentence of smart and flowing cursive:  
  
"Go to the Great Willow Tree of the Lunar Gardens."  
  
Also enclosed in the red envelope was a miniature map of the royal Moon gardens.  
  
"You must hurry, prince. She is waiting," reminded Phobos.  
  
"Yes, thank you, Lady Olivus." His previous run slowed down to a mild jog, not because of exhaustion, but because he wasn't as confident as he was before. Still, he made his way through the mazes of the gardens, crossed a bridge over a small stream, and walked up a verdant, steep hill. The panoramic view from the summit of the hill allowed him to see the Great Willow Tree that Lady Phobos had mentioned, but he did not see anyone there. Cautiously, he walked down the hill towards the enormous willow tree.  
  
As he got closer, Jadeite realized why they called it the Great Willow Tree with a capital g, w, and t. It had to be more than seventy- five feet in height, and the melancholy willows that hung from the very top to only three yards above the ground swayed in the moaning breeze. Its looming presence seemed to give one the impression that it guarded the imperial Lunar Gardens. Jadeite felt oddly at peace in his gloomy surroundings.  
  
The peace was brusquely shattered when the willows of the magnificent tree wrapped themselves tightly around his ankles, wrists, neck, and waist. With a sharp yank, he was thrown against the gnarled tree trunk and pulled even tighter against it as more willows constricted his body to the point where breathing started to hurt.  
  
"Tree! That's enough! For goodness sakes, don't strangle the boy!" shouted a voice from above.  
  
'Wha--who saved me?' thought Jadeite. Luckily for him, the willow branches loosened their throttling constraints, but they still held him down firm. He was about to thank his savior until the words were choked in his throat when he looked upwards. Sitting on one of the strong branches was the wielder of fire herself, Princess Rei of Mars, the planet of the dimension's strongest offensive military and the ruling family with the most potent sorcery, second only in wizardry to the imperial Moon family.  
  
Rei rested with her back against the trunk and her legs outstretched on the branch, crossing her legs at her ankles. It appeared as if she were sleeping because her arms were raised behind her head in a comfortable position and her eyes were closed. What was most striking about her at the moment was her over-casual dress. A loose-fitting white cotton blouse clothed the top half of her body, and she wore a pair of boy's beige tweed trousers that were folded up because they were too long for her. Her usual mass of long midnight hair was tied up in a tight bun and hidden under an old, beaten newspaper boy's cap.  
  
"Why did you call me here?" demanded Jadeite. "And if this was your trap, why did you tell the tree to stop? Answer me, Martian!"  
  
Rei then slowly opened her eyes for the first time. Swiftly, she swung her legs over the branch, flipped in the air, and landed about four feet in front of him soundly on her toes. She wasn't a very tall girl for her young age, but Jadeite felt conciously small. Her unfathomable violet eyes were cold and piercing, but her lips were pulled up on one side in a grim smirk.  
  
"I didn't want to call you, but I knew you were looking for me. I just didn't want to make a scene in Queen Serenity's palace. Plus, I didn't want you barging into my room. As for this 'trap', I just wanted to keep you in check so you couldn't do anything funny and so I could make you listen to what I have to say. I didn't want to physically harm you....too much."  
  
"You're sick in the head!" shouted Jadeite. "You're the devil's daughter!"  
  
"No, I'm perfectly healthy in the head, and I'm the daughter of Pyronious XII and Azalynn the Great, not the devil."  
  
"You went through all the trouble just to make fools of us!"  
  
"Don't worry, it was no trouble at all."  
  
"Stupid girls like you have too much time on your hands!"  
  
"Actually, training and school takes up a lot of time. You should be honored that I made enough time to concentrate on all of you."  
  
"You were the one who came as the Endymion imposter and told us to 'have fun' in the marketplace just to get us out!"  
  
"Hmm. You're not as dumb as you look."  
  
"It was you who stole all of Kunzite's, Zoisite's, Nephrite's, and my valuables and sold them to the local pawnshop. But you didn't stop there! You also gave away all of our clothes away to the homeless boys in town!"  
  
"Hey! I was doing it for a charitable cause. Helping the needy. You're a prince, darn it! You can afford hundreds of trunks full of clothing."  
  
"That's not an excuse to go taking things that don't belong to you!"  
  
"My, aren't you greedy?"  
  
"Well your a bitch!"  
  
"Watch it, blondie. There's no need for such harsh words, especially to a sweet, innocent little girl like me." She batted her long lashes, clasped her hands behind her back, and dug her toe in the dirt. Jadeite was utterly disgusted.  
  
"You're right. There's no word in any language to describe how evil, hateful, and ugly you are!!"  
  
"I don't care what you say to me, Earthling," retorted Rei, "'cause I'm not the one stuck to a tree."  
  
"Tell me how you did all of this!" he demanded.  
  
"Where do you want me to start? I don't mind telling you everything since it's all been done. It was all well worth any punishment I may get. Let's see...I got the idea very early this morning. You and your friends don't mind taking other people's things, so I decided that it was only fair to take what belongs to you without asking. While you all were still asleep, I used a special sleeping gas so you wouldn't wake up while I looted most of your smaller valuables and raided your suitcases and closets. I made sure to see you guys as Cousin Endy right when you woke up so you wouldn't look through your things and notice items missing."  
  
"But how did you make yourself look like Endymion?"  
  
"You forget who you're talking to. Transformation spells are a cinch. And I went to the market looking like a short, rich old lady from Earth getting rid of old junk."  
  
"And I'm guessing this tree is also being controlled by your magic."  
  
"You're on a roll today! Pretty impressive for a twelve-year-old, right?"  
  
"Pretty despicable, too. But tell me, why did you do this? We did nothing to you."  
  
The mocking smirk on Rei's face was wiped away and replaced with a heavy frown. "Nothing? You did the worst thing you could possibly do to me. You hurt my friends, and you got away with it! Sure, my friends got their share of revenge, but justice has still turned her back on us and let you get the upper hand! I almost blew my cover when you told me that you even threw a party because Luna penalized us. How impertinent. I'm only defending my friends! Is that so bad?"  
  
"It's bad because you're butting into other people's business! And I didn't do a thing to you or anyone!"  
  
"You're one of them. That's more than enough," said she. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a fire reading practice to do."  
  
"Stop! You can't leave me tied here!" cried Jadeite.  
  
Rei was already halfway up the hill. "Just watch me!"  
  
"I'll get you for this, Martian!"  
  
"I'd like to see you try, Earthling!" By this time, she was already at the top of the hill. Over her shoulder she shouted, "Tell your other three comrades that today was merely a warning!"  
  
Jadeite could only watch the top of her cap disappear over the hill.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
IMPORTANT STUFF:  
  
Interesting note: You know that famous Sailor Moon fanfic archive, A Sailor Moon Romance? I finally had the guts to submit this story to their site last week (it's known as "the" site, and it's one of my absolute favorites), and they rejected me.  
  
Ouch...quite a blow to my ego. I still love the website, though.  
  
"Potential, but it still has things to work out" I think they said. I think you guys are being too nice to me here.  
  
This is my very first fanfic ever, and I know I need to revise it in the future, but is this story _that_ bad? Bad enough to be completely rejected? Come on, TELL ME!  
  
PLEASE, if you review, be specific. If you like the story, tell me what you liked about it so I know to keep it up. If you think this is the dumbest piece of trash you've ever read in your life, tell me what is wrong so I can fix it.  
  
NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS! The next chapter is the *very* last chapter in the past! Aren't you happy? But you might not see it for a while. Sorry for all the delays! 


	10. Good Riddance!

First and foremost, I must thank all the people who have given The Winning Losers very positive encouragement. Without you, this story would never have gotten as far as it has. Thank you. You give me much inspiration!  
  
And for those who have sent me flames...I wish that I could say 'I'm sorry,' but I can't apologize for my sense of humor...blame the influence of my family...  
  
Gassy2: I couldn't ask for a better beta-reader!  
  
PrincessRei-PrinceJed and uasgirl: Thanks for making me a favorite author!  
  
Trupana: Many thanks to you too!  
  
What pen name are you under, V-babe? I tried to look you up but I couldn't find you.  
  
Author's Notes: This is it, kids...the last chapter of The Winning Losers set in the past! It took a very long time (don't hurt me!), but be glad, because all chapters after are set in the present.  
  
K.Wyse- I really shouldn't assume the reader will know what I'm thinking at the time I'm writing, huh? That's one of my bad habits. I wasn't quite clear when I was describing Kunzite's situation...I'll make sure to make a reference to this in this chapter. Thanks for the suggestion!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of its rights, but I do own three DVDs of the S season! God, I have no life. *-_-  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 9: Good Riddance!  
  
**Past continued**  
  
"Careful with that pocketknife!" cried Jadeite as Nephrite, Kunzite, Endymion, and Zoisite were cutting their friend loose from the willow branches.  
  
"Shut up, Jed. Be thankful we even answered your mental distress cry," retorted Nephrite.  
  
"Stop moving around!" ordered Zoisite. "Or else I'll 'accidentally' cut you on purpose!"  
  
Kunzite was shaking his head in shame. "I can't believe you walked into her trap! How could you accept the invitation without calling us for backup first? A Shittenou should know better!"  
  
Unfortunately for Jadeite, his leg was still tied down, so he couldn't kick Kunzite. "You shouldn't be talking Mr. I-got-my-hair- prematurely-white-because-I-picked-on-girl."  
  
"Go to hell, tree boy!"  
  
"Too late, I'm already there!"  
  
The argument was getting on Endymion's last nerve. "Would the both of you just shut your mouths? All four of you have given me and Usa...Princess Serenity too much to worry about. Are you happy now? Be glad that you haven't started an intergalactic war by now."  
  
"That's a low blow, Endy," Nephrite said. "You haven't been in our places. Those Senshi girls haven't tortured you. You were lucky!"  
  
"Yeah!" agreed Zoisite. "Your vacation wasn't a nightmare like ours has been so far. You got to play with a kind-hearted princess, and who do we get stuck with? The four witches of the Apocalypse!"  
  
"Alright! I get the point," surrendered Endymion. "First, you guys are fighting each other, the next you all gang up on me. I give up."  
  
Snap! Endymion cut the very last willow branch, and Jadeite fell forward, smacking his face into one of the tree's roots. "I really don't like this tree," came his muffled complaint as he spit chunks of soil out of his mouth. "And look! I'm gonna have bruises on my wrists and ankles for a long time."  
  
"You guys asked for it," pointed out Endymion. "Cousin Rei is very loyal to her friends. Mess with one of them and suffer her wrath. Two wrongs don't make a right, but you guys really did push it this time."  
  
"Traitor," growled the rest of the group.  
  
"This traitor just ordered more clothes from Earth for you guys. It should be delivered up to your rooms in an hour."  
  
But clothes were the last things on Jadeite's mind. During his time wrapped up against the Great Willow Tree, he had already started plotting his retaliation.  
  
  
  
"Good afternoon, Rei-ko," greeted Phobos as Rei was about to enter her room.  
  
"Hi Phobos!" Rei replied cheerily.  
  
"I see you are ridiculously happy."  
  
Rei smiled. "Yes, very much."  
  
"You've been bad today, haven't you?"  
  
"Sometimes Phobos, playing nice will only get you stepped on."  
  
"If your parents knew how I was taking care of you, they'd have my head."  
  
"But that's why I love you! You understand me."  
  
Phobos sighed. "You're such a handful sometimes. Anyways, your friends are inside the room waiting for you."  
  
"Okay. Thanks Phobos."  
  
Before Rei could even turn the doorknob, Makoto opened the door from inside and quickly grabbed Rei into the room. Phobos could only laugh and continue her business.  
  
"Alright," began Makoto, "now spill."  
  
Ami, Minako, and Usagi were sitting around the low table eating cookies and drinking milk.  
  
"We've been waiting for you to return forever! We want to hear it all."  
  
"I'm just here for the cookies," said Usagi.  
  
"Phobos?" called Rei. "Could you bring us some more cookies and milk? This is going to take a while..."  
  
The girls listened intently to Rei, and by the time Rei had finished her narrative and divulged every single detail, the girls had gone through a gallon of milk and two bulk boxes of baked goods. Usagi consumed half of the load.  
  
"Bravo!" cheered Makoto.  
  
"Genius!" complimented Ami.  
  
"I'm so proud of my baby!" exclaimed Minako.  
  
"Delicious!" rooted Usagi.  
  
"Usa-chan, are you talking about my plan or about the cookies?" questioned Rei.  
  
"Both?"  
  
"Good job, Rei-chan," extolled Makoto again, "but I expected more from you. I mean, you know you could have gone further than that."  
  
"I know, Mako-chan," Rei acknowledged. "In fact, I wanted their nights for the rest of their lives to be haunted by this vivid memory, but they are Cousin Endy's friends." For a moment, she paused and took a small sip of her milk. "I respect my cousin and love him like the brother I never had, and for his sake, I will show mercy."  
  
Although Ami thought that the Shittenou boys would now think twice before offending them again, new doubts began to culminate in her calculating head. "Rei-chan, aren't you afraid that they are going to try to get back at you?"  
  
"I'm not afraid because I *know* that at least one of them is going to try to get me good. I'll be extra cautious, even though boys are stupid and unoriginal in their schemes. Trust me--I know every trick in the book!"  
  
  
  
His back was aching, his feet were killing him, and his eyes were forgetting about their interminable vigilance.  
  
He was hungry too.  
  
Prince Jadeite had been hiding behind one of the enormous 5th century gold Martian vases directly outside Princess Rei's private temple for nearly three hours. Although he had already figured out what he was going to do, he had no idea how he was going to do it. He needed some way to get past the first entrance of the place of worship.  
  
The first few minutes went by quickly as he admired the opulence and elegance of the temple's exterior decorations. He never imagined that such an exotic and breathtaking place was located in the silver-and-snow palace of the Moon. It was built across from the grand Hall of Mars, and he was surprised that he did not notice it before during his mad dash to the princess's room earlier.  
  
The smooth, colossal double doors were made of shining black obsidian, which was meant to allow a visitor to see the purity of their reflection before entering the sacred temple. All along the edges of the doors, ancient Martian hieroglyphics were carved in gold. Written in the sinuous characters was a charm that protected the temple from evil intruders, and in the center of the two doors was the symbol of Mars, encrusted with intensely scarlet rubies. A curtain of black diamonds, rubies, and gold beads hung loosely across the top and all the way down the sides of the doors, glittering and winking in the dancing torchlight. In front of and to the sides of the entrance were torches that were over ten feet in height. One of the torches had a fierce dragon wrapped around the pole, and the other was decorated with a beautiful phoenix with its long, luxurious tail circled around its post. The flames were almost hypnotic, luring Jadeite into it.  
  
But the only thing he was truly interested in was the little girl inside who was performing her daily prayers. 'Curses, more like it,' he thought sulkily. He waited for the perfect opportunity to carry out his master plan, and after hours of bone and mind numbing waiting, he saw the pieces of his scheme falling into place. The angelic guardian he had encountered before was gliding towards the entrance of the temple with a tray of the princess's special and exclusive tea. Jadeite tried not to snort. 'Is she too good for regular tea, now?' He quickly pushed the thought away as he remembered his intended mission. It was now or never, and now gave him the perfect opportunity.  
  
He got up from his hiding place and approached the dreamily attractive young woman. "Good day, my lady!" he said gallantly. "How nice it is to see you again!"  
  
The young woman just stared blankly down at him. Her lovely blanket of ebony hair swept to one side of her graceful figure as she tilted her sweet heart-shaped head to one side. "I'm terribly sorry, dear boy," came her gentle voice, "but I do not remember ever meeting you."  
  
Jadeite's eyes went wide. "But my lady, I met you earlier this afternoon."  
  
"Surely you must be mistaken," she replied, "for that is impossible. I just came back to the Moon palace an hour ago."  
  
For a second there, Jadeite thought that she had hit her head hard and gotten amnesia. "I'm Prince Jadeite Amerveille. Don't you remember, Lady Olivus?"  
  
Realization struck her right away, and she laughed gleefully. "Oh, I see now! You think I am Phobos, correct?"  
  
He nodded his head in dumb confusion.  
  
"Well, young prince, do not worry yourself. You are not the first to make this simple mistake. Phobos is my twin sister. I am Deimos Olivus, another guardian of Princess Rei's."  
  
Jadeite was tempted to kick himself in the ass. "Thank goodness. I thought I was going insane." He didn't add that he thought that she was insane, too. "Glad to make your acquaintance, my lady," said he as he bowed formally to her.  
  
"Now," Deimos continued, "how may I help you?"  
  
In Jadeite's head, he could hear himself laughing evilly. "You might have heard that your princess and I have not been on good terms. I came here to apologize to her after a recent incident and make peace with her. Would you mind if I took that tray of tea to her?"  
  
"Of course," she replied enthusiastically. "Be my guest." Then, she handed the tray with the dainty teapot and cups to him. "I hope everything goes well between you and my small lady."  
  
She walked away after Jadeite had thanked her, leaving him alone to watch the soft firelight glow on the tray in his hands. Hurriedly, he set the tray silently on the ground and opened the top of the pot. He reached into his breast pocket and took out a small paper envelope filled with white powder. He poured the powder into the teapot and made sure that it completely dissolved in the hot liquid before he replaced the lid. Taking in a deep breath, he picked up the tray and opened the door.  
  
The entrance led him into a small, empty room, and in front of him was a Japanese style sliding door. He could see the glow of a large fire through the semi-transparent rice paper of the door.  
  
"Thank you, Deimos, just put the tea outside of the door," called Rei from within. Jadeite did as she asked and tiptoed out the first door, hoping that the lack of verbal response would not raise her suspicions. It took all his will power not to jump up and cheer once he was outside again. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked back to his room, grinning like a Cheshire cat the whole time.  
  
  
  
The Sacred Fire burned steadily as Rei prayed and chanted, her eyes in that custom glazed, spellbound state. Her white and red priestess robes swallowed her small body, for they were made for a full-grown princess. Every crown Martian princess was trained as the Oracle from the time she can walk to adulthood, when she would then pass down the rights and the traditional robes to her successor. Rei's mother before her wore the same red and white robes, and her grandmother before that. The powers of prophecy were only passed down noble bloodline to the first-born daughter.  
  
Her endless violet and black hair was tied back with a white ribbon to keep it from getting singed by the scorching kisses of the flames. The extreme heat did not affect her, but the pure energy-consuming exertion caused beads of sweat to trickle down her face.  
  
Despite Rei's youth, she was far more gifted in the art of foretelling than most people twice her age. Many priests predicted after her birth that she would do many great things, but the power inside of her was still too great for her mere twelve years of life experience to fully manage. Everyday, she meditated and tried to unlock the many remaining mysteries of her powers. It wasn't one of her more fruitful days today, so she decided to take a rest and enjoy her favorite afternoon tea.  
  
She slid the door open, took the tea tray, and walked back to her spot in front of the Sacred Fire. The tea steamed as she poured some inside her cup, and she gingerly picked it up, inhaling the sweet yet spicy aroma. Before she brought it to her lips, a violent alarm went off in her head and she instinctively dropped the cup to the ground, spilling the tea all over the mat.  
  
As if corresponding to her action, the Sacred Flame burst so powerfully that it scorched the high ceiling of the shrine. Little Rei shook herself from the grasp of fright and took the opportunity to put her born gifts to good use. Rei focused her full concentration on the fire, and the deeper she fell into its wrathful core, the larger the flame grew. Time was lost to her, but when the flames finally reached a point where it couldn't grow any bigger without starting a holocaust in the palace, images suddenly flashed across the center. Just as suddenly, the images stopped, but enough information was revealed to justify Rei's suspicions.  
  
  
  
The gigantic Lunar stadium was large enough to hold five swimming pools, two tracks, an ice skating rink, ten different sports fields, fifteen miniature gyms, thousands of strength-building apparatuses, and several shooting ranges, but the whole center was only occupied by a pair of boys. Sitting on the bleachers was Zoisite, who was scribbling furiously on a pad of paper on his lap. Kunzite was currently busy on the hardwood floor fencing with a highly skilled holographic opponent. Although the stadium's super computer synthesized the image of his adversary, Kunzite felt every parry and thrust. He was thoroughly impressed with the technology the Lunarians used for training, and he was seriously enjoying the experience. There were even sound effects imitating the sound of clashing foils (AN: the thin swords used by fencers). Clang! Ding! Ching!  
  
"Touché!" cried Kunzite triumphantly once the tip of his foil finally touched his opponent's chest. The hologram then bowed and disappeared in a fabulous show of green light. "Should I be disappointed that the hologram was more of a challenge to me than all of you guys put together?"  
  
"It's not that we're horrible fighters," said Zoisite, "it's just that we don't bother trying."  
  
"If you keep that attitude up, what will happen if we get caught in a real battle?"  
  
"You will die an honorable death on the battlefield, and we'll be using your body as a shield."  
  
Over the years the boys had known each other, Young Kunzite had learned that it was futile to argue with his soldiers, who took advantage of their friendship. Sure, they trained and took orders from him, but they were boys, and when they really didn't feel like working, they did exactly that--they didn't work. It was still a functioning relationship, despite how imperfect it was.  
  
Kunzite knew that Jadeite, Zoisite, and Nephrite all had the potential to become as skilled and as powerful as he was, but he also knew that they were all a bunch of lazy jackasses who just wanted to enjoy their youth to the fullest. He sympathized with them; it was not easy to have the future of Earth resting on their young shoulders, and he too secretly longed to live just one day without stressing over duty. Kunzite hoped that once they had all gotten older and were made kings, they would take their responsibilities much more seriously.  
  
"What are you doing there, Zoi?"  
  
To Kunzite's surprise, Zoisite groaned, snapped his pencil in two, ripped out the sheet of paper he was writing on, crumpled it, and threw it over his shoulder.  
  
"I don't think the custodian will appreciate your litter."  
  
The agitated boy was not amused. "Damn it! How did she do it? I was so close to figuring it out...but there's something that's eluding me..."  
  
"What are you babbling about?" demanded Kunzite.  
  
"Your hair, man! I was trying to calculate how she made your hair actually grow out white. That's impossible, but that midget psycho scientist made it possible."  
  
"Do I sense jealousy, Zoi?"  
  
Zoisite narrowed his eyes bitterly at his friend. He continued: "Yesterday, I ran some more tests on one strand of your hair. You can't even dye over it! The hair somehow will not absorb any hair dye. It would just wash off right away. What's even more amazing is that there was absolutely no magic essence emanating from the hair. Pure science, pure genius, pure evil!"  
  
Kunzite patted his disheartened friend on the shoulder. "Don't get yourself all worked up over it. You did your best to try to help me find a counter formula and think of ways to cover it up. I don't picture myself going to a hairdresser every month for a hair-coloring appointment, though. But it doesn't matter anymore; I'm kind of used to my hair now."  
  
"Thanks, Kunz," said Zoisite with a grateful smile. Still, the fact that the eleven-year-old, four-eyed, stubby-limbed, blue-haired princess had outwitted him a second time was eating him alive.  
  
  
  
"Now watch the mouse carefully," instructed Ami in her private laboratory. She and Rei were dressed in the lab-friendly fashion: clean, white lab coats with rolled-up sleeves, closed-toed shoes, bulky goggles, and hairnets. Rei thought the whole outfit was a little too much for their experiment, but Ami remained adamant in being dressed appropriately for any possible and even unlikely lab hazards.  
  
A few minutes earlier, Rei had just brought the remaining tea from her pot to Ami. She continued to describe the events that led up to the dropping of her cup of tea and explained her strong suspicions about the cause of it all. By this time, Rei was no longer suspicious--she was down right certain that Jadeite was the source of her trouble.  
  
Ami was more than happy to have something to investigate, so she grabbed Rei and rushed her to her laboratory. There, she proceeded to study a drop of the tea under her state-of -the-art microscope, observed the reactions that occurred when added to different mixtures, and poured it into a machine that analyzed the contents of it. When she had finally gathered sufficient information, she announced, "It's a very fortunate thing that you have an unusually strong ESP, Rei-chan. I don't think the palace would still be in one piece if you had drunk the tea."  
  
"Tell me, Ami-chan, what discoveries you made about the stuff. Is it poisonous? Is it some kind of magic potion? What is it?!"  
  
"First of all, calm down. I've never seen you this anxious before, and it really worries me. Secondly, we will watch the effects of the tea on one of the lab mice. The results have shown me that some kind of white powder was poured into your teapot, which dissolves on contact. I also learned that it's not fatal. It's not even truly harmful, but it really is a mean thing to do. Here, hand me that beaker."  
  
Rei did as she was asked, and Ami used a dropper to extract some of the leftover tea and put three drops of it into the water supply of the tiny mouse. Ami watched the mouse in interest, but Rei was a silent nova of unease. Slowly, the mouse drank some of its water. For a while, it just sat in the same spot blinking its red eyes at the two young girls. Then it happened.  
  
The mouse sprouted gaudy red devil horns behind its ears. That's right--devil horns.  
  
All the blood drained from Rei's face and her fists clenched so tightly that it looked like the bones of her knuckles were about to pop out of her skin. In an attempt to distract her distressed friend, Ami said, "You see...it's not that bad. It only lasts about a week and a half, but thanks to that blessed intuition of yours, you avoided it. The worst is over, so let's go to the Recreational Room or something...Rei-chan? Rei- chan?!" Ami waved her hand frantically in front of her friend's face but could not break Rei's implacable staring at the nonexistent point on the blank wall in front of her.  
  
"I'M KILLING THE BASTARD!" Rei suddenly screamed, frightening Ami so badly that she swore she lost ten years of her life.  
  
Ami was unexpectedly strong for someone of her miniature stature, but it was no match for the rancorous force that was propelling Rei. Because Ami would not release her hold on Rei's wrist, she was practically being dragged across the room. To Ami's great relief, Minako and Makoto walked through the door.  
  
"You guys, help me stop her!" cried Ami, and without hesitation, Makoto and Minako jumped on top of their raging Martian friend. They had no idea what was going on, but it was obvious that Rei was in one of her rare but terrifying tantrums. Ami maintained her hold on Rei's arm, Minako wrapped her arms around Rei's legs, and Makoto, the strongest of them all, was pushing Rei backwards. Although Rei's fury was boosting her with unyielding strength, Makoto was still much stronger and could endure more, so in a quick sweep, Makoto had Rei over her shoulder.  
  
"Put me down!" demanded Rei. "I have to get him! You don't know what he tried to do to me!"  
  
"Damn, girl, cool it!" ordered Makoto, "and stop kicking me!"  
  
"Let me go, Mako-chan! Lemme go!"  
  
"If you talk this over with us first and stop thrashing around, I'll set you down." Rei reluctantly obeyed, and Makoto unceremoniously dropped her on the floor instead.  
  
Although her backside was aching, Rei was still determined to wring Jadeite's neck, so she sprang back up and dashed toward the door.  
  
"Venus Love Me Chain!" yelled Minako, predicting Rei's plan of action and successfully renstraining her. "Now what is the meaning of this?" she asked, directing the question at Ami. Quickly yet thoroughly, Ami elucidated the state of affairs and pointed out the lab mouse as Rei sat moodily. Makoto and Minako listened intently to the whole story, and they offered Rei their full and faithful commiseration. When Rei was her calm and composed self again, Minako retracted her Venus chain.  
  
"Sorry I had to do that to ya, Rei-chan. I understand the feeling," shared Minako, "but you looked like you were about to really kill him."  
  
"That's because I probably was going to kill him," admitted Rei guiltily. She vowed to spend a lot more time meditating to mitigate her temper, but part of her guilt was due to the fact that she had lost control and didn't plan first.  
  
Makoto nodded her head. "If this happened to me, I would have reacted the same way. Thank goodness that it didn't happen, or else you guys wouldn't have been able to hold me back. But now what do you plan to do, Rei-chan?"  
  
"You know me too well to even ask," she replied, "and nothing's gonna stop me."  
  
"Not even me?" questioned someone from the door. The four girls whirled around and saw Prince Endymion standing in the doorframe.  
  
"Prince Endymion!" they exclaimed.  
  
"What are you doing here, Cousin?" asked Rei.  
  
"Why Rei, I can't even visit my favorite cousin without a reason now?"  
  
"You know what I mean. You never come to this part of the palace. What's up?"  
  
Makoto stood up from her seat. "Here, have a seat."  
  
"No thanks," said he, "I'll only be a minute. I hope I'm not interrupting you girls."  
  
"Not at all," assured Ami.  
  
Rei was growing impatient. "Of course you're interrupting! Excuse me--" she said, but before she could walk past him, he caught her arm and held tightly.  
  
"Cousin Rei! Don't do anything to Jadeite!" Endymion finally pleaded. That managed to stop Rei in her tracks.  
  
"Is that why you're here? To stop me? Look Endy, I know he's you're friend and all, but do you know what he tried to do? He tried to give me devil horns! Devil horns! I would have had to walk around with a big and annoying hat to cover them up if I drank the spiked tea. It's a capital offense to harass me on the Moon, worthy of an execution! And you're here to defend him?" she added incredulously.  
  
The ever-faithful Makoto jumped into the conversation. "Prince Endymion, doesn't it concern you that your friend tried to do this to your first cousin? The cousin who has been your playmate since early childhood, and the same cousin who has looked up to you as an older brother. Does family blood mean anything to you? You should be ashamed of yourself!"  
  
Having his loyalty to his family being doubted deeply offended him, but he would not quarrel with the Jovian princess. "It is only because I care about Cousin Rei that I ask her to stop. When I first overheard Jadeite bragging about his trick, I sentenced him to a good beating by Kunzite and the boys. Yes, he is one of my very best friends, but I couldn't let him get off the hook that easily. I guarantee that the next time you see him, you won't recognize him under all the bumps and bruises. You are just causing more trouble for yourselves if you carry this on, and I don't want this stupid war to go any further."  
  
"We wouldn't have to fight back if your friends didn't terrorize us so!" Minako testified as she pumped her arms for emphasis.  
  
"I'm sorry for their shameful behavior. I hope you will feel better knowing that I have ordered them to stay in their rooms for the rest of their stay and not to get within a hundred yards of all of you. If I find out that any of them pull another prank, it's off to the official Terran Juvenile Prison for them."  
  
"That's not enough!" Rei protested. "You know that I have almost too much evidence to support a case against that son of a cow, and be thankful that none of us have pressed charges yet, even though we could have easily done that." The other three girls nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm glad. Listen Rei, if you won't do this for yourself, could you at least consider peace for me?"  
  
"That's a low blow, Endymion," hissed Rei. Her resolution began to crumble as she remembered what she had said earlier: 'I respect my cousin and love him like the brother I never had, and for his sake, I will show mercy.'  
  
A small part of Rei still wouldn't give up. "But..."  
  
Endymion was quick to cut off her protest. "And if you won't help me, then help Usako. Did you know that your dear Princess Serenity was close to tears today? She talked to me about how she wished you all would stop fighting but how she didn't want to let you girls down."  
  
Seeing the girls look down sorrowfully made Endymion laugh inwardly, for he knew that the knowledge of their best friend's sadness would kick their loyalty into overdrive.  
  
"Did she really say that?" questioned Ami dejectedly.  
  
He simply nodded his head.  
  
After a moment of earnest reflection, Little Rei made up her mind, and she gently patted his arm. "For you, cousin, and especially for Usa- chan, I will discontinue my crusade against your friend."  
  
"Thanks, Rei," he said as he gave her a hug and mussed her hair. "You're the best."  
  
"If anything goes wrong, I'm taking his head."  
  
Endymion chuckled. It was the best he could get out of her.  
  
  
  
The next few days passed by peacefully. The girls spent a lot of time playing in the garden, going to the cinema, studying their lessons, and teaching Princess Serenity self-defense. The boys entertained themselves in their room with cards or garbage basketball.  
  
Oftentimes, Prince Endymion would train with the girls and establish his own camaraderie with them, making his Usako overwhelmed with joy. She would visit him and his friends and bring them cupcakes. She made sure not to bring cookies. Nephrite was still a little shell-shocked.  
  
Luna and Artemis, who were aware of the feud between the children, were surprised to discover that four days went by without a disturbance. It was quite a relief; they didn't have to make up lies to the queen about the behavior of the children and make excuses for their absences anymore.  
  
"See?" said Artemis smugly. "I told you that they would work out their differences."  
  
"I don't think they are on good terms," Luna contradicted. "I think the arguing has stopped because Prince Endymion and the princess must've said something."  
  
"The important thing is that there's no more chaos. Though I must say, it's a little boring now that the action has ceased."  
  
"Artemis!" she scolded.  
  
"What? It's true! Besides, the ordeal was a good learning experience for the girls."  
  
"What the hell are you saying, you numb-skull?! You actually want the girls to get involved in such wicked and immature scraps?"  
  
"Think about it! The plans that they thought of all by themselves...it was good practice in offensive techniques. And the sneakiness they used to pull off their schemes...that's good exercise in espionage."  
  
Luna was flabbergasted.  
  
Artemis was oblivious to her disgust. "Admit it. You were also impressed with the thinking skills the girls used in their retaliations."  
  
She was close to strangling him.  
  
The man didn't know when to stop. "Yup, those girls take after me." He turned around to face Luna. "Hey, where are you--AHHHH!"  
  
The door against his face was a very willing listener.  
  
  
  
"Oh Gwen, must you really leave so soon? I thought you were going to stay for a month and a half!"  
  
The queen of Earth stirred sugar into her coffee, but the lack of enthusiasm in her wrist motion signified her disappointment. "I know, Serenity, I know. In fact, I wanted to extend my vacation, but fate would not let me have my way."  
  
Queen Serenity took her friend's hand. "But why? Why the sudden departure?"  
  
"My planet needs James and me," answered Queen Gwendolyn glumly. "My husband has received news that invaders are trying to establish a colony on Earth."  
  
"How awful!" gasped Serenity. "Who is responsible for this crime?"  
  
"Our sources tell us that the people come in the name of Metallia, their sovereign."  
  
"What do you and James plan to do?"  
  
"We aren't sure yet. We do not know if they are harmless or evil, but if they come in peace, we will try to negotiate with them and grant them a small colony in exchange for their loyalty."  
  
"I hope it all goes well, Gwen."  
  
"So do I, Serenity, so do I."  
  
"So you leave tonight?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
"Have you told Endymion and his friends yet?"  
  
Gwendolyn sighed and held Serenity's hand tighter. "Yes, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Endymion's a good boy, and very smart. He understood the importance of our presence on Earth, but he was fighting back tears at the same time. I don't remember seeing him cry since he was just an infant."  
  
"My little Sere will be so heartbroken. She's really attached to her friends, and she loves that boy to death...just imagine her reaction when I tell her 'he's leaving, Honey.' How *can* I tell her?"  
  
"Sere is also a bright child. She will be hurt, but she'll understand."  
  
  
  
Packing was not a problem for the boys since much of their clothes and things were stolen. Despite this setback, packing their luggage had never brought so much joy to them. The thought of returning to their home planet where they could roam around freely lifted their spirits above the clouds.  
  
Jadeite was jumping on the bed, grinning from ear to ear. "Ha! I've been losing my mind trapped in this cage! Freedom! Freedom!"  
  
"I think you lost you mind before Endy forbid us to go outside of our rooms," postulated Nephrite as he set one of his smaller bags next to the door. "Where's Kunzite?"  
  
"He's with the queen and king helping with travel arrangements."  
  
"Okay, then where's Zoisite?"  
  
Right when Jadeite shrugged his shoulders, he heard the tap of a rock hitting the window. "Speak of the devil," he said as he watched Zoisite dangle from the second story balcony. "What the hell...?"  
  
Nephrite opened the door that opened to the balcony and ran over to help Zoisite over before he would have to scrape the remains of his insane friend off the cement. "What are you doing outside of our room without permission?" demanded Nephrite.  
  
The response he got was a mixture of wheezing and laughter. Zoisite plopped himself on one of the ottomans and slapped his knee repeatedly. "Before I leave," he answered after the loudest of his guffaws died down, "I had to leave my mark on the Moon palace."  
  
"Oh God," sighed Nephrite. "What did you do?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing at all," Zoisite smiled.  
  
"Zoisite..."  
  
"Oh, I just organized half of the Lunarian Library by color."  
  
"You've got waaaay too much time on your hands, Zoi."  
  
"Aren't you scared Endy's gonna kill you for pulling another prank?" asked Jadeite.  
  
"Like you are?" Zoisite retorted. "I know that you snuck out and hid itching powder bombs in places that the princesses are likely to go."  
  
"At least I'm not scaling the walls like a drunken monkey."  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"I don't bite drunken monkeys."  
  
The verbal ping-pong match continued for an hour. Nephrite just pretended to be deaf.  
  
  
  
The sky was an uncommon, dismal gray, and the clouds cast an unnatural shadow over the happy landscape of the Moon. For the first time in a long time, the inhabitants of the Moon would witness nature's hidden inclement tendencies and remember that even the heavens could not perpetually keep a sunny disposition. The gods of the sky thundered their opposition to the departure of good friends, loudly demanding for redress. Two sorrowful children stood in their wake, ignoring everything around them but each other. They held each other's hand as if it was the only tangible thing that held them to the reality of fate's cruel humor. The portal of the Moon's temple taunted them. The angels in Heaven wept for them.  
  
The queen of the Moon stood beside the queen of the Earth, but their grand titles meant nothing to them at the moment. They embraced each other like two sisters who had just found each other but had to be torn apart to go their separate ways once more, not knowing if time would permit another reunion. For the sake of their children, they held back their persistent tears, but they felt that their hearts, heavy with sadness and pain, would weigh them down into the ground.  
  
King James also gave Queen Serenity a nice brotherly hug. He then wrapped an arm around his wife and rubbed her back consolingly, knowing full well that she needed as much of his support as possible. Queen Gwendolyn looked frighteningly pale. The gravity of the situation on Earth as well as the grief of their leaving was taking toll on her. The Moon queen looked little better.  
  
Along side the elder royals were the four young inner planet princesses and the high princes of Earth. The girls had rejoiced when they first heard that the Earth princes were finally being removed from their lives, but the reason for their parting cut their celebration short. They, who hated the Terran princes with a strong passion, wished the boys a safe return to their home planet and hoped that matters on Earth would settle peacefully. The honest concern the girls had displayed had shocked the boys to no end. For a fleeting moment, Kunzite and his fellow princes felt despicable and unworthy.  
  
The tentative treaty between the young guardians made Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion smile, but the scene was too bittersweet to swallow. 'The only day they all can be civil to each other is the very last day,' thought Little Serenity wistfully. She turned to look at Endymion's solemn profile. 'Is he crying?'  
  
Endymion sensed that his companion was staring at him, so he quickly ran his hand across his face and pretended to cough. 'Crying won't help her feel better,' he told himself forcefully, 'and boys don't cry.' He turned his face to look back at her. Two clear beads made their way down her plump rosy cheeks.  
  
"Endy..." she sniffed, "...I don't want you to go..."  
  
He squeezed her tiny hand tighter. "I don't want to go either." He wanted her last minutes with him to be happy and light-hearted, like before.  
  
"Will I ever see you again?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Of course," he replied. "I couldn't make a friend and never visit her again, right?"  
  
"But from what I've heard, I might not see you for a long time."  
  
"The important thing, Usako, is that we'll always be bestest friends. Don't cry, okay? I'll see you again someday. Until then, you have to take good care of yourself, and don't forget about me."  
  
"You're stupid, Endy. I couldn't forget about a friend. But will you promise to remember me?"  
  
"Now who's the stupid one?" he asked playfully.  
  
Time was running out quickly. "Endymion," his father called. "It's almost time."  
  
Endymion nearly fell over when his princess flung her arms around his waist. For such a minute girl, she could really bowl one over with the force of her hugs.  
  
"I'll miss you, Endy! [Sob] Take good care of yourself [sniffle] and your parents and your friends for me!"  
  
He didn't care anymore; he let the tears flow freely. "I'll...I'll miss you too, Usako."  
  
She knew she was completely soaking his shirt with her tears, but all she could do was hug him tighter.  
  
"Usa....Usako....you're...I...can't...breathe...."  
  
She still held him tightly, and he could only smile down at her as he hugged her back with equal strength.  
  
The adults watched the touching picture before them: two childhood friends saying goodbye with their whole heart and soul as they cry their little eyes out. Two thousand words could not describe the feeling behind that picture.  
  
"Endymion," whispered Queen Gwendolyn. "It's time."  
  
The two children reluctantly released each other. Little Serenity ran over to her mother as he walked the opposite direction toward his parents. In a spectacular light show, the portal appeared in front of them. King James and Queen Gwendolyn waved at their hosts, their friends. Endymion never broke eye contact with Little Serenity as he backed into the portal's blinding white light.  
  
Jadeite, Zoisite, Nephrite, and Kunzite bowed respectfully to Queen Serenity and her misty-eyed daughter. Next, they maturely shook hands with the four future guardians of the Moon princess. When all the formal farewells were over and done, the princes followed the royal family of Earth into the curtain of light, and when the glow of the door disappeared, all that lingered were memories.  
  
The hard feelings remained, but the juvenile princes and princesses unconsciously knew that this would not be the last time they would engage in battle. The twinkle of an untold challenge lie ahead, and although they wouldn't admit it, they were eagerly looking forward to it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
My comp froze on me while I was typing this up last week and I had forgotten to save, so I lost about 75% of what you just read. I don't like machines, machines don't like me.  
  
Now don't kill me for this, but I may need to go on a brief hiatus. My plans for the present time of this story need a little revision. New ideas have popped into my mind...Be afraid...So I need time to rethink and find a different approach.  
  
Extra notes:  
  
If you are reading this, Joanna, thank you for taking the time to try and make things clearer to me. I'm not the brightest kid that one will ever meet and I do hope that the only reason my submission was rejected was simply because of incorrect format, though I'm pretty sure that A Sailor Moon Romance does not accept *all* submissions, as you say. For now, I will only post for my dear readers at ff.net, and if I ever actually finish this story, I might try again at A Sailor Moon Romance.  
  
Thanks again, and biggest thanks to all reviewers! 


	11. Buying Time at Any Cost

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. It's as simple as that.  
  
Notes: I'm in a ridiculously happy mood! I was reading one of LoveeDucky's fics, and I saw that she gave a plug for *this* story. I was floored! You all should read her stories: _Triangle: The Sweet, Untold Story_ and _Nasal Spray_. They're must reads for Rei/Jadeite fans.  
  
And Thanks to the readers!  
  
Forgotten and hyperasschic13 -- You're such beautiful people! My thanks to you for putting me on your favorite authors list!  
  
Isis Aurora Tomoe -- I saw my fic on your favorite stories list! Haha, that's so cool!!  
  
Two great people have suggested changes in my use of vocab, so I've made it my business to edit each strange "Jupitarian" reference to "Jovian". (Joanna suggested "Jovial", but I think K. Wyse was right in saying that was probably a typo. I, a very inexperienced writer, am learning new things everyday.Thanks to both Joanna and K. Wyse!)  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
***Current ages of characters:  
  
Senshi:  
  
Rei - 20  
  
Ami - 19  
  
Minako - 20  
  
Makoto - 21  
  
Princess Serenity - 18  
  
Shittenou:  
  
Jadeite - 21  
  
Zoisite - 21  
  
Kunzite - 23  
  
Nephrite - 22  
  
Prince Endymion - 20  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 10: Buying Time at Any Cost  
  
  
  
**Present time**  
  
"In light of recent events, it is imperative to revise and negotiate the trade agreements that have been active for the past decade. You are a man who is sincerely concerned about the well-being of your people, so it is natural that you should wish to broaden their economy and increase the gross national product as well as establish secure partnerships with neighboring civilizations, who are more than eager to cooperate with your administration. In agreeing to sign this bill proposed by Her Royal Highness of the Silver Millennium, your citizens will benefit by the augmentation of their economic privileges and additional protection and support of reliable allies. The only thing that will come out of this accord can only help, never hinder, and the assemblies of the sixth satellite in sector D-57 Blah blah blah...."  
  
If anyone had mastered the art of becoming deaf to these long debates while appearing to be listening attentively, it was Princess Makoto. She watched Ami's lips move and saw her friend make hand gestures to help get her point across to the stiff ambassadors. She saw the faces of the stuffy congressmen wrinkle in contemplation and the ambidextrous secretaries scribble shorthand in their notebooks with expensive quill pens.  
  
'It's like watching an incredibly boring silent movie.'  
  
Despite her serious lack of interest in the matter at hand, she admired Ami's fluid expression of thought and the subtle approach she used in convincing the representatives to succumb to the bidding of the Queen. The eloquence of her (Ami's) words, her skillful manipulation of her influence, and her confident movements around the room almost made Makoto proud to be a part of the distinguished council. Almost.  
  
Too soon for her liking, Princess Makoto was going to inherit the throne of Jupiter, the largest planet of the solar system as well as the most populous. When candidates for the Silver Millennium's senate campaigned, Jupiter was the main target, for its overwhelming population provided the most electoral votes. Also, Jupiter had the strongest economy of any planet in the galaxy because it was the designated center for trade, manufacturing, and buying. On the sixteen moons that orbited around the global giant, Jupiter's military force was stationed and ready for battle. While the Martians had the best offensive army, the Jovians were unparalleled in defense. The ruler of Jupiter possessed an awesome amount of money, authority, and power that no megalomaniac could even begin to imagine.  
  
Makoto wanted nothing to do with it.  
  
Although she vowed to serve her loyal subjects to the fullest, the wealth and power wasn't as appealing to her as she thought it should be. Shame was not an issue with her when she would envy every middle class woman that walked past her. She wanted their simple, comfortable lives. She wanted a small, isolated country house with a pretty flower garden and a white picket fence rather than that mountain of a palace in which she'd still get lost. She wanted to be a good housewife--she never understood the use of maids and servants. It was her dream to be the owner of a quaint flower shop and bakery in the middle of the city where children could buy her specialty goodies and men could buy their sweethearts flowers. Men...Makoto hated the snobby suitors who pompously demanded for her hand in holy matrimony. If she ever married, she hoped it was to an honest, kind, and caring commoner who loved her for her golden heart, not her golden palace.  
  
'But all the good men in the universe are either already married, gay, or dead,' she thought bitterly.  
  
Makoto knew exactly what was happening at the meeting table; it must have been the millionth time she had to attend this type of function. She knew exactly what her brilliant navy-haired friend was going to say. She knew the objections that the ambassadors were going to use, for they were disappointingly predictable, and she and Ami knew how to answer them. Ami was the one who engaged in the battle of words, but when words failed dear Ami, which was never, Makoto's sheer dominating, domineering presence and overwhelming silent power was the final factor in their destined victory. The delegates in the room did not dare to antagonize the princess of Jupiter. They feared the power she would inherit. Yet they feared *her* even more. Even before she stepped into the conference office, she knew that she and Ami would effortlessly sweep the gathering and accomplish precisely what Queen Serenity sent them to do.  
  
If she already knew everything, then why did she need to waste her attention? 'Where's the logic in that?'  
  
The lowest point of the ordeal was when she realized that watching the hands of the clock move proved to be more exciting.  
  
Tick-tock, tick-tock...move faster, you damn clock! I want out, and I want out now! her inner voice howled.  
  
During her speech, Ami darted her all-knowing eyes sharply toward her friend, and Makoto smiled back sheepishly. 'Oops. Ami-chan heard that. Better be more careful about our mental link so I don't distract her.'  
  
As much as it pained her, Makoto straightened her spine in her seat and reattached her ears to her cataleptic head. She internally jumped for joy as she realized that Ami had reached the concluding statement of her speech. Again, Ami looked sharply at poor, tortured Makoto.  
  
'Damn it! I did it again!'  
  
Ami tried not to roll her eyes at her distraught friend. She also tried not to laugh. It was common knowledge that Makoto hated the rigid, professional atmosphere of the meeting room and that she would rather eat her own tongue than sit through a day of debating and speeches.  
  
Ami, on the other hand, felt most at home when she was speaking in front of all her political peers. Politics and persuasion was her domain, and anyone who entered the meeting room was now on her turf and had to abide by her rules. Ami was blessed with a finely honed brain, a strong heart, and a gifted tongue. Technical terms, statistics, and facts poured smoothly from her mouth in a single, unshaken breath, leaving only her audience breathless.  
  
The pressure of standing up to the dour, forbidding faces in the impatient audience would have crushed a weaker soul, but Ami faced them fearlessly. Two years ago, the first time she spoke alone in front of so many distinguished politicians, everyone expected her to shift her feet uncomfortably, forget her speech, and run away in ignominious tears. But she surprised them and herself by displaying courage and a natural talent for oration. From then on, her doubtful critics pursed their lips tightly and found more feeble prey to harass.  
  
She did not need to use the microphone in front of her to reach the ears of the delegates on the far side of the massive room. She trained herself to project her voice clearly, and the effect only added a foot to her stately stature and a brighter light in her keen eyes. The conference was her stage, and she was the ringmaster.  
  
It did not bother Ami that people saw her as only a walking, talking brain. In fact, she interpreted it as a compliment. Deep down, Ami was shy and sensitive, and she feared those little-known characteristics would spell her demise in the dog-eat-dog world of politics. As a result, she hid her thoughts behind cold, calculating eyes and concealed her emotions with a facial mask of ice. People have compared her to the emotionless classic marble statues of Greece; she smiled her customary small, polite smile and stood with utter grace and discipline, but one would feel that she looked right through him instead of at him. Others, less tactful in their words, called her the Ice Princess.  
  
'That's not too bad,' she reasoned. 'After all, my main elemental power is water and ice. It's only logical that I am called the Ice Princess.' The girl was too practical to take anything personally.  
  
Soon, the meeting was over, and of course, it ended in favor of the Queen. As soon as Makoto and Ami stepped out of the conference room, seemingly jumping out of nowhere, Minako linked their arms with hers and dragged them down the hall in a frenzied sprint. Ami dropped the file of important contracts during the excitement, which almost landed into one of the palace's built in fish ponds.  
  
"Mina-chan, what is the meaning--"  
  
"No time to explain," Minako said breezily. The girl had not even spared a second to pay proper respects to the exiting delegates and further shocked them by bending over in her short pleated sailor skirt to pick up the fallen documents. The older delegates looked away quickly, but the few younger ones were easily distracted by the unintentional peep show and became much redder in their cheeks. One could not expect anything less from Princess Venus.  
  
Before long, the three girls were in the Throne Room.  
  
"Why have you brought us here?" asked Ami. "You know that after meetings and negotiations, the hosting planet or moon is supposed to have tea with the representatives. You didn't even give me a chance to apologize for leaving so suddenly!"  
  
Minako was sweating and red-faced. After such a marathon, she needed time to catch her breath. "Sorry I had to rush you guys here without telling you anything, but the Queen asked me to fetch you two here as quickly as possible. That's all she told me. I have no idea why she wants to talk with us. And don't worry about the tea thing. Before running like mad to you guys, the Queen told me to find Luna and Artemis so they could take over the hosting responsibilities."  
  
"Wait a minute," said Makoto. "It's five minutes past three already. Aren't you supposed to be greeting our guests from...Earth...right now?"  
  
"That's the weird part. Queen Serenity, Rei-chan, Usa-chan and I were waiting at the portal just ten minutes ago. But then a few minutes before three, a messenger brings an envelope to the queen, and she reads over it quickly before ordering me to get you two."  
  
"Where's Rei-chan and Usa-chan?"  
  
"They'll be coming with the Queen any second now."  
  
Soon, the Queen entered the Throne Room with Rei and Serenity following close. Princess Serenity looked worried and anxious as she twisted her handkerchief until the fibers almost ripped. Rei looked slightly amused.  
  
"Alright, girls," began the Queen. "It seems that there is a problem in transportation for our guests." That explained Serenity's concern and Rei's amusement. "They discovered that someone has cast a disarming charm upon the portal in the Terran temple, and it will take some time before they find a suitable counter spell. So that means we cannot send someone to assist them through the portal either. The only other way is by spacecraft, but the journey would take four hours, and by that time, they will have already solved their problem. I am afraid you girls will have to wait even longer before you are reunited with your old friends. You've had patience over eight years, so another hour shouldn't hurt."  
  
I don't mind if I never see them again this lifetime Makoto stated in all honesty. Her fellow Senshi bowed their heads in agreement. The later, the better.  
  
"At least now you can all be there to greet them when they come," she smiled.  
  
She had to kill their momentary joy, didn't she?  
  
A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Ami?"  
  
"Yes, your Highness."  
  
"Although the portal does not work, we can still send things through the material transporter. Do you mind going to the library and finding a book of reverse spells to send to our friends on Earth? I'm sure they will appreciate our assistance, and it'll make this go much, much faster."  
  
"I do not mind at all, your Highness. Is that all?"  
  
"Yes, dear." The Queen thanked Ami as the latter curtseyed and headed toward the Lunarian Library. "Makoto? Queen Gwendolyn loved the pastries you made for her last time. It would be wonderful if you could whip up another batch, warm and fresh for her arrival. Tea time will have passed, but she is a woman who eats by convenience instead of the clock." She smiled at the thought.  
  
"Of course, your Highness. I'm always happy in the kitchen."  
  
Then, only Rei, Minako, Serenity and her mother were left in the spacious room. Queen Serenity turned to the remaining girls. "Well, you girls are free for a little while. I will be in my room awaiting Queen Gwendolyn's green signal. You girls can assist Luna and Artemis at the formal tea if you want."  
  
"I don't want to Mama, but I surely can," said Serenity jokingly. Focusing her attention on small talk with the visiting representatives and numbing her mind with boredom could take her mind off of her anxiety.  
  
Rei and Minako also tried to distract themselves from their stress. They failed miserably.  
  
  
  
"Which one of you bloody punks messed with the teleport?!" demanded Endymion. He was wildly brandishing his sword under the noses of his Shittenou with blood in his eyes and steam bursting from every orifice in his body.  
  
The four men were not intimidated by his ferocious threats. The two blonde ones had the gall to smirk and give Endymion a look that told him that they found the situation quite entertaining. Kunzite and Nephrite just stood still and stared blankly at their raging friend. Much to Endymion's chagrin, his four companions did not cower before his violent fury. Reason one: they could gang up and kick Endymion's ass before the high prince realized his ass was being kicked. Reason two: the Shittenou were too valuable as soldiers and world leaders to kill. Reason three: it was illegal to kill someone, and Endymion, being the crown prince, had to set an example for his subjects.  
  
So Endymion stood in front of them, waving a sword in their faces like a hypoglycemic child, stomping his feet and jumping like a tribal savage, and pacing the room like a constipated bull. And his physical tantrums and heated, albeit idle, threats got him nowhere.  
  
"It's not polite to point fingers without evidence," tsked Zoisite. "Whatever happened to 'innocent before proven guilty'?"  
  
"Considering you four, or at least you and Jadeite, I can automatically conclude that you are the guilty party. Who else would want to delay our trip to the Moon but you bunch of craven retards?"  
  
"Retards? The politically correct term is 'mentally challenged people'," corrected Jadeite unnecessarily. "Or 'Endy's dysfunctional cousins'."  
  
"Damn it all to hell, stop changing the subject!" Endymion roared.  
  
"My, my, how 'bout that change in weather?" Nephrite felt obliged to further try Endymion's patience.  
  
"Strange, isn't it?" commented Kunzite. "First, there's nothing but sun, not a cloud in the sky, and now there's thunderstorms and--"  
  
"Oh God, not you too, Kunzite..."  
  
"Did you see that game of cricket in Lincolnshire last Thursday? Absolutely smashing, that."  
  
"I did, actually. Never thought Johnson was pro at the game. I thought he was only interested in polo."  
  
Endymion threw down his blade in racking frustration. There was no way he would get them to confess, let alone answer his interrogations, short of torture. 'Too bad that was outlawed six generations ago.' Knowing that his efforts were futile, he eloquently threw his hands up in the air before smacking his forehead and storming out of the room.  
  
Jadeite turned to look at the closed door. "So, do you think he suspects that we did it?"  
  
"Gee, what gave you that idea?" said Zoisite dryly.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe it was the direct accusation that gave him away," offered Nephrite, equally sarcastic.  
  
"Bravo, Kunzite! Quite a performance you put up in front of Endy. In fact, I couldn't have done it better m'self." Zoisite took full advantage of rubbing it in Kunzite's face. It had taken some persuasion to get Kunzite's permission to sabotage the royal teleport. If the man ever slit his wrist, he would bleed duty by the gallon. However, even the all- mighty leader did not relish in going back to the Moon after eight serene years. He saw the need to intervene for the safety of his friends. He was also inclined to maintain his sanity, and he remembered that his "vacation" on the Moon all those years ago had nearly been his psychological undoing. Adolescence is such an impressionable age, too. "Welcome to the dark side! Muahahaha!"  
  
"Oh, do shove it, Zoi. I don't lie to him on a regular basis like you guys do, but you can't blame me for wanting to buy more time. Hell, none of you guys want to leave our wonderful Earth for that cauldron of ungodliness."  
  
"True, true."  
  
"So how long will the disabling spell last?"  
  
"It's supposed to last for ten hours, but the royals will find a counter spell soon. I think we'll be spared another three hours."  
  
"Are you guys scared?"  
  
Prolonged silence.  
  
Nervous laughter.  
  
"Ha! Whose scared of a gang of little girls?"  
  
"Don't forget, they're not little anymore."  
  
"Hmm, sounds like Kunz is the wimp."  
  
"Nonsense. I'm just pointing out the obvious."  
  
What was obvious was the feeling of dread hanging heavy in the room.  
  
  
  
She had a choice, and it was her choice alone. She could throw the book into the fireplace without anyone knowing better, or she could do what the Queen had asked and forward the book of counter spells.  
  
Ami rarely found herself in a position where she was actually contemplating doing the immoral and dishonest thing. The selfish thing. The good thing, in her opinion. Did she want the Earth kings to come as soon as possible? Absolutely not. Yet she could not bring herself to disobey her benevolent queen. And she hated destroying perfectly conditioned books.  
  
The thought of throwing the book into the flames triggered unhappy memories. 'My priceless family heirloom, burned to worthless ashes in this same fireplace of the same library. Burned by that Terran bastard.' Ami abhorred using vulgar language in her descriptions, but she couldn't find any decent words to describe Zoisite Aufait, the pompous boy who had destroyed her family's historic book without a qualm.  
  
She scolded herself in disgust. She would not let his memory bother her, and she vowed not to lose her calm composure when she faced him again. As humble as Ami was, she refused to admit that he could unnerve her and match her iron reason, or worse, downright outwit her. Pride is a very formidable thing, and Ami was already a formidable person.  
  
A small part of her wanted to meet the prince again. "No," she corrected herself. "He's a king now." The promise of an intellectual challenge was...stimulating.  
  
Her loyalty and scruples prodded her out of the Lunarian Library and into the delivery exchange room. Gingerly, she placed the book onto the protruding tray of a steel rectangular prism. With a press of a red button on the top, the tray fully retracted so that the machine looked like a smooth metal block. Ami punched in a ten-digit code (she knew every mechanical and technical code in the palace by heart) into the number pad on one of the sides and pressed the green "send" button. It was finally done. The book was sent to help the Terrans break the enchantment on their portal so they would no longer be delayed in arriving at its Lunarian counterpart. Ami knew that she chose what was moral and right. She also knew she would regret it.  
  
  
  
Endymion walked jauntily back into his generals' quarters.  
  
"Seems like you've gotten over your dramatically feminine mood swing," observed Zoisite.  
  
"Well, it seems like we're gonna be close to being on schedule. We were just sent a very helpful book of reverse spells from our dear friends on the Moon, so I'll be seeing my precious friend Serenity sooner than soon!"  
  
"How soon?" The Shittenou didn't want to hear his answer.  
  
"Ten minutes!" he exclaimed gleefully.  
  
"Bloody hell."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I'm so very sorry for the delay, and I know this is a short chapter. Holiday shopping is a very time consuming thing...A damn pain in the ass, if you ask me...but just setting up this chapter took me forever. That's what happens when you come up with too many ideas at once. My head hurts...  
  
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 


	12. So We Meet Again

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon does not belong to me.  
  
Author's notes: Thank you to all the loyal reviewers and constructive critics. I see many of the same people sending reviews, and I cannot possibly express my gratefulness. Life is painfully short, and yet a handful of wonderful people take a little time out of their lives to say kind and inspirational things to me. You people know who you are.Thank you.  
  
And special thanks to these lovely people who've made me one of their favorite authors:  
  
thescientist  
  
himitsu-no-hi (You're too sweet! Every one of your reviews is uplifting!)  
  
kiki054  
  
Sereanlae  
  
guardianmercury  
  
  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages (Senshi communicate privately this way to each other, and Shittenou do the same. Blood relations can also communicate mentally.)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 11: So We Meet Again  
  
  
  
The servant's words echoed in Princess Serenity's ears, but she refused to believe she'd heard them. A fainting spell would have been welcome, but she was too shocked to even think about it. The handkerchief she had been wringing earlier was forgotten, now trampled delicately under her satin slipper.  
  
The servant could not bring himself to look up from his kneeling position, to look at the stricken face of his princess. With diffident reluctance, he delivered the damning news to the Queen and her daughter. The grim silence in the room drove him to nervous sweating and uncontrollable trembling. If he had gathered the courage to stand up, he probably would have slipped in his own puddle of perspiration. The embarrassment appealed infinitely to him compared to his present state of tortuous insecurity.  
  
Finally, after a pause that felt like an eternity, Queen Serenity told the servant to stand. He followed her instruction, but he still refused to meet either of his sovereigns in the eye.  
  
"Why was I not informed of Viscount Edgeworth's arrival?" she gently questioned, aware of the young lad's sweat-stained shirt.  
  
"I-I do not know, your Highness. No one in the office knew that he w- would be coming today, but he insists th-that he had scheduled a meeting with the princess two days i-in advance."  
  
"Who received that message?" she demanded, still using a placid tone.  
  
"That is the strange part, your Highness. No one remembers Viscount Edgeworth ever calling the office to set up a specific appointment. I have asked everyone, even the people who do not usually answer the telephones, but no one claims to have marked the calendar."  
  
Queen Serenity nodded her head solemnly. "That is understandable. The palace has been in a chaotic bustle since news of the Terran royalty's arrival. Papers could have been lost in the harried process. We cannot help that. Where is the viscount now?"  
  
"He is in the informal parlor, your Highness."  
  
"Alright. Thank you, you may return to your duties."  
  
The servant bowed quickly to Serenity and Serenity the younger before nearly running out the door.  
  
Queen Serenity looked apologetically at her daughter while the latter stared blankly ahead of her. "Sere, dear," her mother called, pulling her out of her empty gaze. "We cannot simply turn the viscount away, for he apparently already scheduled a meeting with you."  
  
"I know, Mother, but why now? Can't he wait a little longer?" Serenity's protest sounded weak, and she knew it, but she was desperate. Any minute now, Endymion could walk through the portal into her welcoming arms. For eight long years, she waited patiently to see her best friend from Earth, but now this damn viscount had to come and interfere. Furthermore, it was another stupid attempt at courtship, and she would rather tie a noose around her neck than allow the viscount to kiss her royal hand. Her priority was not entertaining another likely pervert for the sake of political correctness.  
  
"It would be rude to force a guest to wait, Sere. You know that. I know you were terribly looking forward to seeing Prince Endymion, but duty is duty. Io is a valuable provider of resources, so it would not do to offend its viscount."  
  
The princess sighed deeply. It was a sigh of defeat.  
  
Sympathetically, her mother patted her cheek. In an effort to console the crestfallen princess, she said, "Our Terran friends will still be here when you finish attending to the viscount, and they'll be staying for a long time. An hour away from Prince Endymion is nothing, especially since you'll be spending every waking moment with him until he leaves, I imagine."  
  
That brought a smile to Serenity's lips. Her mother was not far from the truth.  
  
"Okay Mama. I will go and slay the disruptive dragon to uphold the honor of our kingdom, and I'll manage to escape with my life." She gave a mock salute before marching with exaggerated gallantry toward the door. Her mother's chiming laughter followed her out.  
  
  
  
Inside the Lunar Temple, Queen Serenity, Luna and Artemis waited nervously for the portal to emerge. If a glitch was present in the time and space continuum, the Terran royals could find themselves in the volcanoes of Europa. Standing quietly at the side were the inner planet princesses. Their posture was rigid and their faces unemotional. To face the Shittenou, the four girls prepared themselves by becoming the embodiment of cold cordiality. They were mature ladies now, so silly pranks and mud slinging were out of the question. A princess of the Silver Millennium and a Senshi of the crown Moon princess should be cool, collected, and unreservedly intimidating.  
  
The Senshi changed into more appropriate attire, it being simple yet semi-formal dresses, for the occasion. Greeting the guests in their Senshi uniform might put them on the defensive side or just thoroughly offend them. The skirts were unorthodoxly short, for easier movement, but the traditionalist Earth people were not accustomed to the outlandish style of the galaxy around them. The girls were not little girls anymore, so the length of the Sailor skirt would have seemed much more scandalous than before. Ami hated the barely-there skirts but detested nitpicking over insignificant material things. To compromise, she wore long blue boots to cover more of her legs.  
  
The flashing rays of brilliant light blinded them from their thoughts. In an awesome show of luminosity, the beams reflected off the mirror situated in the middle of the marble floor to create a vibrant white door. First, two shadows appeared, one a head taller than the other, followed by five masculine silhouettes. As quickly as the bright glow came, it disappeared, leaving the occupants of the room to adjust their eyes to the dim lighting again.  
  
If taking a cursory look, Queen Gwendolyn looked not a day older than the last time Queen Serenity had seen her. However, upon closer inspection, one would observe the sprinkling of white hairs at her temple, disturbing the flowing inky darkness of her long mane, and see the almost imperceptible wrinkles at the corners of her vivid magenta eyes. Each white hair and each wrinkle told a story of sleepless nights and endless days of toil. These subtle signs of age and stress worried Serenity the elder, but the sparkle of youthful verve in the light ruby eyes told her to banish every concern.  
  
And then they grinned mischievously at each other. Queen Gwendolyn let go of her husband's supporting hands, and the two queens rushed together in a tight hug, laughing and crying simultaneously.  
  
As light and touching as the sight was, the eight younger spectators on the sidelines were dark and cheerless. The Senshi refused to look at the Shittenou, and vice versa, except maybe at each other's shoes. Despite their claims of total indifference, they were not ready to face each other- civilly, at least. There were no "how d'you do's" or even a succinct "welcome". Silence was the more comfortable alternative.  
  
Still, the emotional reunion of the two women brought a genuine smile to their faces. 'At least someone will enjoy this excursion,' mused Kunzite, still not meeting the eyes of the Senshi leader across from him.  
  
"We have much to say to each other, I bet," Serenity said to her best friend.  
  
"Indeed we do," the latter agreed warmly, "but we've plenty of bonding time for later. I believe we need to start reintroductions now."  
  
After giving them their space for an expressive greeting, King James joined his wife and said to Serenity, "Well, hallo, hallo Serenity. As busy as ever and yet still as lovely as you were in your debutante days."  
  
"Still quite the ladies' man, are you James? How your compliments do get old," teased Serenity. "Better watch out, Gwen. You may have to put this old dog on a leash."  
  
"Oh please, I have this man wrapped around my little finger," Gwendolyn boasted.  
  
James nodded subserviently. "I'm a reformed rakehell, I am. And as a notorious gentlemen of experience, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm in love with and scared of my wife."  
  
"Good boy," said his wife as she patted him under his gray beard. It was then that Serenity noticed he'd grown a beard. He too seemed a little older, but she pushed those thoughts aside. Like Gwendolyn had pointed out, they would have plenty time to talk about their lives thus far.  
  
Up to this point, Prince Endymion had stood quietly and politely, searching for the possible face of his good friend Princess Serenity. He looked at the four well-dressed young women, none of which had the signature hairstyle of the Lunarian royalty. 'Why isn't she here to see me?' he thought, more than a bit hurt.  
  
Queen Serenity sensed his distress, but before talking to him, she studied him carefully, though only in a cursory glance, with her shrewd silver-blue eyes. He had grown very well, so much different from the unassuming and tenderhearted boy she last saw. Also, there was more to his searching glance than just curiosity for her daughter's absence. Finally, she turned away from her good friends to properly greet their son.  
  
"Hello, Endymion. My, you've grown into a very handsome man. When I last saw you, you were only yay high." She held her hand up to her waist to demonstrate. "I remember the potential I first saw in you. I expect that you've excelled in your studies and training."  
  
"Thank you, your Highness," he said, bowing. "I've done my best in all areas, for I would hate to return and disappoint you by not meeting your expectations. It would break my heart to lose your high esteem of me, Queen Serenity," he added smilingly.  
  
His comments made the queen chuckle. "My goodness, James, what have you been teaching the boy? He sounds exactly like you, with all those pretty words."  
  
"I swear, I put none of those words in his mouth! I guess it just comes naturally in the Anima-Mundi blood," said the king, patting his son's shoulder proudly.  
  
Endymion couldn't wait any more. "Excuse me, your Highness, but where is Princess Serenity? Why is she not here?" 'To see me,' he mentally added.  
  
"I'm very sorry, Endymion. I know you were looking forward to seeing my daughter, but we have an unexpected visitor in the palace that has requested her company. She is with Viscount Edgeworth of Io, but she will join us around dinnertime."  
  
"Unexpected? Did the man not have the courtesy to call first?"  
  
"Supposedly, he had already called our offices.but that is another story. Do not fret, prince. It is already almost sunset."  
  
Endymion's expression was clearly one of disappointment, but he nodded his head in understanding.  
  
"Luna! Artemis!" exclaimed Gwendolyn. "I didn't notice you in the shadows over there, and it's not like Artemis to keep quite!"  
  
"Welcome, your Majesties," said the two advisors.  
  
"You know better than to use formalities with us," hollered the king jovially. "We've known each other too long to deal with that 'your Majesty' twaddle!"  
  
Artemis smiled cattily. "Of course, of course, James my man. But my loverly Luna over here insisted that we be 'proper', whatever that means."  
  
"I just didn't want anyone to be offended," stated Luna defensively. "I'm not so careless as you are, Artemis."  
  
"Ouch, Luna. You have no idea how your words strike a dagger through my heart."  
  
Upon hearing his feigned pain, Gwendolyn said, "Still haven't gotten on her good side yet, eh Art?"  
  
Artemis clutched his heart and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, throwing himself into his silly-ass romantic-in-distress role. "I've devoted more than half of my life expressing my love to the fair lady, and yet she acts as if I do not exist! However can I make her return my honest affections? Oh woe is me, woe is me!"  
  
Luna crossed her arms across her chest and looked stubbornly away, blushing all the while, much to the amusement of everyone else. "Hush your mouth, you scamp. We're too old for these ridiculous games." The damning truth of the matter was that Artemis did express his feelings to her on a daily basis, as luridly and obscenely as he could, just so he could savor her pretty blush. How he made her so uncomfortable, when nothing else ever could, confused Luna to no end.  
  
"Ah, but one is never too old for lo-"  
  
"I believe," Luna interrupted before he could finish his sentence, "that we have been neglecting these fine gentlemen over here." She motioned to the Shittenou, who, in response, walked toward Queen Serenity and bowed to her.  
  
"Your Highness, I am Kunzite Acoupsur, king of the Northern Hemisphere and first commander of the Shittenou."  
  
"Nephrite Jusdivinum, king of the Southern Hemisphere and second in command, at your service."  
  
"Jadeite Amerveille, king of the Western Hemisphere and joint third commander, at your disposal."  
  
"Zoisite Aufait, king of the Eastern Hemisphere and joint third commander, ready to assist."  
  
She nodded approvingly at them. In all sincerity and kindness, she said, "I needn't have to ask. One look at you four tells me that Earth is in good hands."  
  
Kunzite was very pleased, for such a compliment, especially from the queen of the Silver Millennium, was extremely high praise. The other three kings were humbled not only by her acclaim but also by her illustrious person. Zoisite and Jadeite were never humbled, yet the honorable Queen Serenity had to be the only person in whose presence they remembered their manners. The Shittenou really liked her. They just didn't like her daughter's guardians.  
  
"The Shittenou are my personal bodyguards as well as rulers of their respective lands," Endymion elaborated. "Under the Terrestrial Decree of 1011, they can regulate trade, control taxes, pass laws, veto supreme court decisions, and raise armies for their own nation, but all four work in an alliance under my father. They are my father's key cabinet members of the Terran administration. It is their job to act as universal ambassadors and commanding generals of the Royal Allied Terran Army."  
  
"Impressive," stated Queen Serenity. "Now it is my turn to brag about my daughter's Senshi." At the queen's cue, the Senshi stepped up to the crown Terran family and curtseyed. "I'm sure you remember the inner princesses of the Silver Millennium, right Gwen?"  
  
"How can I forget!" Gwendolyn exclaimed. She was very fond of the four spirited girls and admired their individuality. 'Exceptionally different from all other princesses,' she remembered, 'and yet more regal than all of them put together.'  
  
"The Senshi, like the Shittenou, are Princess Serenity's guardians and heiresses to their own respective planets. With their unequalled background in combat, each one heads a department of the Silver Millennium's military: the Royal Navy, the air force, the dry army, and a special fleet of clairvoyants and sorcerers called the Royal Panacea. Also, I send them as my governmental representatives. They will one day serve as my daughter's court once she inherits the throne."  
  
"Welcome back to the Moon, your Majesties," greeted the princesses together. Then, the queen began reintroducing them to their guests. Each girl stepped forward at the mention of her name.  
  
"Minako Aino, crown princess of Venus, leader of the Senshi, and head of the Royal Air Force. Crown princess Makoto Kino of Jupiter, controller of the Royal Land Army. Princess Ami Mizuno, future queen of Mercury and supervisor of the Royal Navy."  
  
Gwendolyn had heard rumors of the girls' celebrated beauty; both peasants and aristocrats raved about their legendary looks, but she was not prepared for seeing them herself. Neither were the Shittenou. Once each of the four kings had finally mustered the courage to look at his old nemesis, he desperately wished he hadn't. The rumors did not serve the girls justice. Compared to looking at the girls in person, the rumors of their beauty were in fact dirty insults.  
  
"Oh goodness," murmured Gwendolyn. "Heavenly, just heavenly."  
  
"I've got plenty o' unattached male relatives who'd love to make your acquaintances!" blurted King James, earning him his wife's elbow in his gut.  
  
Ami blushed furiously, for she wasn't used to people giving her compliments, making her look even prettier than possible. Zoisite felt the blood rush to his cheeks too, but miraculously and to his relief, it didn't show. He was feeling unusually warm despite the recent chill and was tempted to loosen his collar. 'I must be coming down with something,' he thought, blaming the sudden change in weather a little too strongly.  
  
Makoto and Minako beamed at the king's generous, if rude, compliment. Nephrite and Kunzite had never seen smiles as alluring or as endearing as those of the two maidens'.  
  
Snap out of it, men! ordered Kunzite vehemently. Remember: looks can be deceiving. And like I always say, women are--  
  
--Lying, conniving, secretive, two-faced, cold-blooded snakes, recited the other three dully. (AN: refer to Chapter 7: "Hair Today, Fair Tomorrow" for the same anti-women statement.) In other cases, they would have ignored Kunzite's predictably forceful warning, but that particular day gave new meaning to his favorite saying. The Senshi's angelic appearances were alarmingly disarming, but how could one forget their deviltry during their childhood days? The Shittenou surely never forgot.  
  
It was then that the Senshi chose to take a good look at their reviled rivals. Then they did a double take. What they saw was nothing what they expected. What they expected was what they hoped for, and what they hoped for was a group of disheveled, greasy, hairy, foul-smelling, clumsy, lanky and/or grossly obese men who could easily be the target of malicious insults. Unfortunately for the Senshi, the Shittenou were the exact opposite.  
  
Minako almost wished she hadn't made Kunzite's hair white. His colorless locks against his tanned skin gave him an exotic appeal and added more sophistication to his well-defined face. Regardless of the fact that she was responsible for his pale hair, she hated him for it anyway.  
  
Makoto, who was never prone to fainting spells, suddenly felt lightheaded. Almost every man she met was a couple inches shorter than her 6'2, and she liked having that upper hand. She did not appreciate the fact that Nephrite was taller than her. Makoto felt like he was threatening her, even though he wasn't doing anything.  
  
Ami's expression returned to being distant and unreadable. Displaying emotions - fear, anger, curiosity, loathing, nervousness, and interest - was a damaging habit. She scrutinized the Shittenou as if they were her lab rats, noting every move they made and committing to memory every one of their unique features. Her scrutiny lastly fell on King Zoisite. 'The rumors are factual,' thought Ami dispassionately. 'He's a preppy pretty boy.'  
  
Finally, Serenity motioned to Rei. Gwendolyn actually gasped upon seeing her niece once removed. The resemblance between Gwendolyn's cousin, Rei's mother, and Rei was startling. "My darling Rei," breathed Gwendolyn, kissing Rei's cheek. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be here to watch you grow, but I see you've matured into the loveliest of ladies. My little girl.where has she gone?" Regretful tears started to shine in her deep magenta eyes. She had wanted to be Rei's maternal figure through the turbulent teenage years, especially because Rei's mother passed away unexpectedly after Rei turned thirteen. Alas, circumstances on Earth interfered.  
  
"I'm still here, Auntie Gwen, and it was certainly not your fault," Rei said affectionately as she embraced the elder woman. "I've missed you, but now you are here, so that is all that truly matters. Has Uncle James given you many headaches?" she added, trying to get her aunt to smile.  
  
Uncle James snorted. "I'll have you know, Rei my girl, that I have been on good behavior and that young ones like yourself should not be concerned about such things."  
  
"Aw, still bitter over your defeat in our archery contest, dearest uncle?"  
  
"Hmph. I let you win that game. Now that you're probably more experienced than before, I demand a rematch so I can show you my true skill with the bow and arrow!"  
  
"All bark and no bite," quipped Endymion, drawing out a dark scowl from his father. Rei immediately grinned at Endymion, and he matched it with an exultant grin of his own before suffocating her in a tremendous bear hug.  
  
"How've you been, favorite cousin of mine?" he asked as he swung her around and around. "I see that the palace is not a pile of smoking rubble, so I'm guessing the years have treated you well."  
  
"Cousin Endy, ever the charmer. Who'd have thought that you had enough brains in that thick head of yours to come up with a comeback? But let us not forget that a comeback is not a comeback if it is delivered eight years too late."  
  
"For your information, I have an incredibly good-looking thick head."  
  
"Now, now, children," said Queen Serenity in mock scolding, "We still have to present Rei to refresh the minds of the Shittenou. Gentlemen, this is Rei Hino, the Martian crown princess and chief of the Royal Panacea."  
  
Although she was not a blood relation, James adored Rei like the daughter he'd always wanted. She and Endymion were already like siblings ever since they wore diapers. He was also as paranoid as a father, so seeing Rei all developed and divine made him vow to find her a worthy husband. Of course, he did not voice these thoughts for she would have surely blown a gasket, but he did say, "You are definitely Azalynn's daughter. When your mother was your age, she was called 'the rose of the galaxy'."  
  
And she's just as thorny, too sneered Jadeite, but he couldn't deny, nor would he admit, that she was indeed 'the rose of the galaxy'. He would stick a needle in both of his eyes before admitting that she physically interested him.  
  
Rei took a little time to examine the Shittenou. 'They're handsome, I'll give them that,' she thought, electing to be blunt with herself, which was what she always did. 'But the better a man looks, the more dangerous and troublesome he is.' According to her logic, that made Jadeite, in her opinion, a very dangerous and troublesome man.  
  
"With presentations out of the way," announced Queen Serenity, "I wish you a merry stay here in my palace. Please, make yourselves at home, for-what was it, two and a half months?-is no short period of time."  
  
"Thank you for your hospitality, your Highness."  
  
"No, no, thank you for gracing me with your company."  
  
Endymion turned blithely to his second cousin. "Well Cousin Rei, since time so generously permits it, how 'bout we have some family bonding time? Just you and me, squirt, like old times." His tone was lighthearted, but Rei heard something akin to urgency that no one else could hear. By looking into his incisive indigo eyes, she also saw the passing of a deeper meaning. Nodding wordlessly, she took his arm, and the two walked away from the rest of the group. Endymion smiled down at her. If anyone could understand him, it was Rei.  
  
How come you get to leave? And not even take us with you?! whined Minako, expressing Ami's and Makoto's exact sentiments.  
  
Sorry guys. Family thing, Rei vaguely offered. And handling the Shittenou can't be _that_ bad.  
  
Shut up, Rei-chan. Just shut up.  
  
I love you guys, too. Don't enjoy yourselves too much without me.  
  
If they made it through the day alive, they would make sure to murder dear friend Rei-chan. At the moment, they could only watch her lucky, retreating back with longing.  
  
"Dinner is still a couple hours away, Gwen," observed Serenity. "Care for some of Makoto's amazing tea and pastries?"  
  
"I'll always care for her tea and pastries. By the by, my dear Makoto, you still need to give me your recipe."  
  
Makoto nodded enthusiastically. She was proud that the Terran queen had a penchant for her baking. Nevertheless, it was no surprise. Makoto Kino's culinary skill rivaled that of the best chefs in the universe. When she was younger, her governesses and advisors forbade her to step foot in a kitchen since a princess was not fit to be a soot-covered cook. In spite of that, she imperturbably disobeyed them, and a taste of her delightful dishes was enough to convince them to allow her to submerge in her hobby. Over the years, and especially following The Tragedy (AN: "The Tragedy" will be explained in a later chapter), fine cuisine developed into more than a hobby. It was her means of therapy.  
  
"You kids run along now," advised Serenity. "If you need us, we shall be in the private faux dining room. Care to join us, Luna? Artemis?"  
  
"Dainty tea and me? With *three* superior crowned heads? Priceless!" Artemis crowed.  
  
"I believe that what this incorrigible rascal is trying to say is that we would be delighted to join your Majesties," explained Luna in a voice of practiced grace and strained patience, glaring evilly at Artemis all the while.  
  
The three high monarchs and the two Lunarian advisors departed, leaving the Shittenou and the Senshi to drown in awkwardness and uncertainty.  
  
The princesses stared sullenly at the four men. The kings stared dolefully back at the three remaining princesses.  
  
It was going to be a long day.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Happy New Year! May the year 2003 bring nothing but the best to you all! 


	13. Heart to Heart

To all the readers: What has it been.two months? I bet I've been long forgotten already. I cannot tell you the reason for my absence, but please have mercy on my tired soul! I write with a heavy heart, for the past weeks have crushed my spirits into oblivion, but it is unjust to compromise my dear readers. The joyous response of you all makes me forget the tears that blind my view of the screen. Goodness, how melodramatic and dark my humor is at the moment. I find it all bitterly hilarious. In other words, I'm very sorry.  
  
And to my editor: You're a long-suffering person. This is why I could never be a professional writer - I couldn't meet a deadline if my life depended on it. Forgive me?  
  
Nutty Colada - You absolutely amazed me.No one has written as many consecutive reviews as you have. Thank you, you crazy reader you!!  
  
And many thanks to Unwanted and Charlie Chaplin 2 for making me their favorite author.  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages (Senshi communicate privately this way to each other, and Shittenou do the same. Blood relations can also communicate mentally.)  
  
Short summary: Cousins Rei and Endymion spend some quality time.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 12: Heart to Heart  
The wind blew softly through her silken ebony hair, weaving the long and shiny locks with its whimsical, invisible fingers. Regardless of the cool shade of the prehistoric eucalyptus tree, Endymion could see the lovely amethyst sparkle in his cousin's eyes. He also saw a frightening hardness in them as they were now transfixed on her white queen, standing boldly in the middle of the battlefield. The men that Endymion had valiantly deployed had fallen quickly and shamefully to the ruthless military expertise of Princess Rei. His own lone sovereign was about to meet the same fate.  
  
"Checkmate."  
  
Endymion glared bitterly at his younger cousin. Oblivious to his seething glower, Rei sank easily into her seat and savored the sweet words of victory. She closed her eyes and smiled serenely, thus pouring more salt into his wounded pride.  
  
"Since when did you get so damn good at chess?" he demanded with childish resentment. "I remember teaching *you* the rules and strategies of the game when you were worse than a novice. I also remember having to make mistakes on purpose just to let you win."  
  
"Princess Mercury is not only one of my best friends but also a genius and a universal chess champion. She's a wonderful tutor in the art of this archaic game. Much better than you, Cousin, so do not feel so bad." Reaching over the table, she patted his arm consolingly.  
  
"Kick me while I'm down, why don't you," he muttered. "Of course, I already knew that. I must humbly admit that I am a disgraceful amateur compared to the famous Mercurian princess."  
  
"Such modest words from a member of the male sex," commented Rei dryly.  
  
"Your high opinion of my gender is flattering."  
  
"Only you would take that as a compliment."  
  
"Coming from you? I've heard much, much worse. If that wasn't a compliment from you, then I don't know what is."  
  
"True," she agreed.  
  
"But I assure you," continued Endymion, "that I have matured into a perfect gentleman."  
  
"Thanks to Aunt Gwen. Who knows what would have become of you if dear Uncle James had reared you single-handedly."  
  
Endymion pondered that idea for thirty seconds. "That's a scary thought. But you must admit, there are fewer nobler and wiser than me pa."  
  
"I don't doubt that. I adore Uncle James."  
  
Endymion smiled devilishly. "But I've also heard stories about his younger days. Do you know, the kitchen staff of a palace is an ever- flowing fountain of delicious gossip?"  
  
"Yes, it's common knowledge. If one should want to start an investigation, one should start in the kitchen quarters."  
  
"How come I didn't know that sooner? That information could have been very useful in my boyhood! Countless chances of blackmail lost!"  
  
"Gentleman, indeed," grumbled Rei. "That's the exact reason your parents forbade you to step foot into the kitchen."  
  
Endymion rubbed his hairless chin. "Oh.clever, very clever."  
  
"Anyways, everyone knows that my honest, sweet, resolute Uncle James was once the most notorious lady killer known in history."  
  
"A vile defiler of feminine innocence," Endymion elaborated. He tried his best to suppress the tone of admiration that crept into his voice, lest his cousin should vault over the table and strangle him.  
  
"Mmm hmm. An ideal role model to the growing males of our generation," said Rei in thick sarcasm. "It was probably an act of rebellion since he wasn't first in line to the crown. It wasn't until his elder brother died that Uncle James cleaned up his act to ascend to the throne."  
  
"Ah yes. It's another story of duty over pleasure. I feel his pain," sympathized Endymion.  
  
"Are you insinuating that you wish to indulge in the same evil practices?" asked Rei, though it sounded more like and accusation than a query.  
  
"Who, me?" said Endymion in mock horror. One could practically see a crooked halo floating above his head.  
  
Rei chose to ignore him. "I pity the pretty fools who naively trust themselves to these devious men. Those little girls cannot see the scheming eyes behind the charming face and the black heart inside the trendy, expensive suit."  
  
"I see that the years have not dulled that sharp tongue of yours," chuckled Endymion as he shook his head. "It hasn't dulled your deep hatred for men, either."  
  
"Hatred is such a strong word," protested Rei. "I prefer to call it 'indomitable abhorrence'."  
  
"Call it what you will, Cousin Rei, but I am determined to rescue you from a cruel sentence of wasting your life as an old, bitter maid. That would be a terrible waste."  
  
He knew that the topic of matchmaking lit a dangerous fuse inside her, so he braced himself for one of her infamous diatribes - the ones that could decimate an entire metropolitan province. To his surprise, she didn't utter a sound. The graceful, composed, and cultured lady before him was not the belligerent, outspoken, and brash girl that he had last seen eight years ago. The only time she had actually put protocol and grace to use was when she was in the presence of elders or guests, but she did it well. Ever since he could walk on his feet, he had played with Rei. She was the sister who he had treated like a little brother. Her stubborn tomboyish ways could not have possibly been completely bridled by polishing school. Something important must have happened in order to have such a startling effect on her. The only vestiges of her former explosive self were her corrosive tongue and cynical mind.  
  
'What could have changed her so much?' he asked himself.  
  
A minute had passed in disturbing silence. The only evidence that she had actually heard him was that she fixed her deep plum eyes on him. He felt her mysteriously calm stare penetrate the deepest recesses of his mind and soul like a key opening a lock. He hated it when she did that. Why he was afraid to directly meet her gaze, he did not know.  
  
"It's funny how you bring up matrimony," Rei said at last. She said it in a voice that matched her stare; she was the personification of coolness.  
  
Endymion laughed nervously. 'Where the hell is she going with this?'  
  
"How so?" he asked, trying to match her bearing. He didn't even come close.  
  
She tipped her head a little to the side and closed her eyes again. "You speak of getting me shackled to another for life, in the name of holy matrimony, even if it is against my own will. Isn't that exactly what you yourself fear at the moment?"  
  
Her words struck him violently, but he could only respond by looking down at the chessboard between them. Rei was right on target.  
  
"But that is not the only thing on your mind, is it, Cousin Endy? You are an open book, my dear. Reading your thoughts is far too easy with the emotional vibrations that you so powerfully emit right now. I sense anxiety, confusion, anger, and. what is this last one?" Rei furrowed her brow. "This last emotion that I feel from you is quite singular. It is a mixture of tenderness.and hope. Interesting, very interesting.this mixture of negative and positive energies."  
  
"Amazing," breathed Endymion. "How do you do it, Rei?"  
  
"Has eight years without my influence made you stupid?" she asked harshly. "I am a first-class mystic and prophetess. I'm supposed to know these things. You should not be so surprised, for you have similar powers, just to a lesser extent. Your mother is a Martian, and although the powers of prophesy is only passed down the noble bloodline to the first-borne daughter, all Martians are born with a rather high level of extrasensory perception, or ESP. However, you are special because the natural energies of Earth are absorbed into your royal body and integrate with your semi- Martian blood. You have a rare empathic power, which enables you to tell many things through touch and heal others with your own life force."  
  
"I never told anyone but my parents and my Shittenou about my powers, but of course you'd know. So that's where I get it. And all this time I though that I was a freak like you," he joked.  
  
"Trust me, you are still a freak. But going back to the topic at hand, what causes you to feel this way? The topic of matrimony was brought up subconsciously by your worries. When you asked me to spend some 'quality family time' with you, I saw urgency in the way you looked at me. But the strange part was that you didn't even know why you wanted to talk to me so badly, correct?"  
  
"No, I don't know why I felt that it was so important to speak privately with you. I just need someone to talk to - someone who knows me better than I know myself. Did I really look that desperate?" asked Endymion.  
  
"Not quite desperate, just in need of verbal solace and clarification. Now where did I leave off? Oh yes, matrimony. You are twenty years old. On Earth, that makes you a legal adult. By your age, you should already be betrothed. Goodness, even children are finding themselves in arranged marriages, so there must be tremendous pressure on you. To top it all off, you are the crown prince of one of the most powerful planets in this system, and it is absolutely necessary that you continue the royal lineage. How can that happen if you do not produce an heir?"  
  
"Maybe Zoisite can figure out a way to whip up a child in the laboratory," suggested Endymion.  
  
"Lord knows what hideous creature that evil genius can produce. Anyways, your parents have been dropping hints here and there that they would like to hear the pitter-patter of little feet sometime in their lifetime. Better sooner than later, they probably figured. They also want you to settle down-"  
  
"Settle down?!" shouted Endymion. "I haven't even gotten the chance to go anywhere!"  
  
"-with a nice girl. Kingdoms from all across the galaxy must be throwing their unattached virgin daughters at your feet."  
  
"More directly at me than at my feet."  
  
"Same difference. And you have not found one with whom you feel comfortable."  
  
"There's just no connection to any of them!" he agreed.  
  
"And I bet that a good number of them were hideous."  
  
"What kind of man do you take me for, Cousin Rei? Am I so superficial that I would turn away a lady just because she was not born with a fair face?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But they were really ugly!"  
  
"Conceited jerk."  
  
"But the worst part was that they thought they were beautiful, so they were incredibly snobby."  
  
"Narcissistic *and* ugly? What a combination."  
  
"Exactly. I mean, if she were really unattractive but she had a good heart, it would be fine."  
  
"Right, but let us go back to those emotions of yours. Hope.hope is a double-edged sword. I, of all people, should know that. It can be miraculously uplifting, or it can be devastatingly disappointing. One may even compare it to gambling, but the stakes are much higher than gold and gems. Moreover, the loss of hope can result in the loss of much more - the loss of freedom, faith, and even love. I can go on and on about the great tragedies of hope, and in great detail, but I'd just be killing your own in the process."  
  
During Rei's little lecture, Endymion's smile deepened into an uneasy frown. "Believe me, the little hope I had before is now gasping for life."  
  
"Good, because a little hope can go a long way."  
  
Endymion wanted to bang his head against the tree. "Damn it, Rei, where the hell are you going with this?! First, you speak of hope as if it were a damned curse, and then you - OW!"  
  
One of the ivory pawns hit him squarely between his eyes, leaving a nice, dark red mark as a memento.  
  
"What was that for?" he demanded.  
  
"That," replied Rei, "was for interrupting me, which was incredibly tactless. And this --," she then flicked another pawn at the exact spot between his eyes, "-is for not having any faith in me. It pains me to know that my dearest cousin does not trust me."  
  
"It pains me every time you launch a chess piece at my face. Those things are hard." Despite the soreness, Endymion couldn't help but grin. 'The old Rei is still in there after all!'  
  
"Sorry," she said. "Next time I'll throw the whole damn board at you."  
  
"That's my girl."  
  
Rei reorganized the chess pieces as she spoke. "It's a shame that you didn't let me finish. I was building up the suspense. You've totally killed the effect."  
  
"Oh, would you stop stalling and just say what you've got to say?"  
  
In response, she smirked. "We mystics like to beat around the bush.it makes us sound even more enigmatic and unworldly. It's a habit of ours to keep our audience on the edge of its seat."  
  
"I'm already on the edge of my seat!" he exclaimed. "Any further and I'll fall flat on my ass."  
  
"That's impossible. Your head is no where near the pavement."  
  
"Very funny. Are all mystics comedians, too?"  
  
"No, but now we're getting off track again."  
  
"It was your fault this time."  
  
"Guilty as charged," Rei admitted, "but let me find my former train of thought.Ah yes, a little hope can go a long way. In fact, that little hope has sustained you through these past weeks. Your anxiety has been eating away at your last mental defenses."  
  
"Are mystics shrinks, too?"  
  
"Hush, you squashed cabbage leaf. Your casual sarcasm is your means of emotional protection, but your anxiousness is all too apparent. However, that little hope is a glimmer of light in the confusing darkness that surrounds you, and that glimmer of light is the thing that has compelled you to seek my companionship. You have not spoken to anyone about your thoughts or feelings because you did not know how to explain it yourself."  
  
"Yet somehow I was sure that I could depend on my Cousin Rei to put into words what I thought was indefinable." He smiled at her. "I've always liked talking to you, Rei. If ever I need to clear my thoughts, I immediately think of you. In a way, I guess you are my shrink."  
  
Rei smiled tenderly back at him. "I'm glad. But you also came to me because you were too embarrassed to discuss any of this with your parents or the Shittenou." She said "Shittenou" as if the word tasted like age-old canned asparagus in her mouth.  
  
"My parents would tell me that my imagination is getting the best of me, and my Shittenou would have had a field day. They would never let me live this down."  
  
"That little bit of hope, Endy, that glimmer of light.I know what it is. Or should I say.*who* it is?"  
  
"Princess Serenity.Usako," he whispered.  
  
Rei continued: "Usa-chan was your best friend in childhood, and she is the only girl that you've allowed to get close to you. Although you haven't seen her for eight years, you've never forgotten her. On those rare occasions when you had free time, you wrote letters to each other. Now that you are being elbowed into marriage, you want to be with someone who, as you said, can at least create an emotional bond with you, and the only girl you've ever met to have accomplished that is none other than Princess Serenity. Still, there are doubts and questions floating about in that head of yours, so ask away."  
  
Endymion paused, for he didn't know what to ask first, but he finally decided to ask about what worried him the most. "I know that time can change a person into a completely different person, and eight years is a long time. Has Princess Serenity's personality changed much?"  
  
"You are right. Time can truly change a person. She has definitely matured, for training to be the next queen forces one to mature quickly, but her basic nature - her pure heart and strong spirit - has not changed at all."  
  
The sweat trickling down his forehead and palms glistened in the light of the setting sun. "Has she any particular suitor in mind?" Endymion positively feared the answer.  
  
Rei wanted to howl with laughter, but that would have seemed incredibly inappropriate. "Did you hear," she said between silent giggles, "about the injuries of the Duke from Uranus?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"That was no accident."  
  
After pondering over his cousin's significant look and underlying tone, Endymion slapped his knee and guffawed in sheer delight, but the urgency of his questions cut his merriment short. He felt foolishly self- conscious when he asked, "Do you think that I have a good chance?"  
  
In startling seriousness, Rei replied, "I love Usa-chan like a little sister, and one may say that I am over-protective of her, even if it is my duty as a Senshi. Every suitor that has tried to court her was completely unworthy of holding her hand, and poor Usa-chan must suffer because of the Conventions of Cordiality. I myself have many flaws, but I pride myself in my judge of character, so believe me when I say that a future proposal from you will give her true happiness."  
  
Her blessing meant the world to him. To show his sincere gratitude, he got up from his seat and embraced her tightly.  
  
"Cousin Rei, there's just one more question I have to ask you."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"Is she hot?"  
  
The two of them then walked toward the Lunar Gardens. Endymion walked with a severe limp.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I know, short chapter, but please be patient.  
  
According to my notes, the next chapter will feature a horse race between Makoto and Nephrite (won't that be interesting) and some shenanigans involving Serenity, Viscount Edgeworth, and an old, senile couple.  
  
Thank you to all who've stuck by this story. 


	14. A New Start to an Old Feud

Disclaimer: Dost thou thinketh that mine imagination hath given birth to this precious commodity, this "Sailor Moon"? Fear not! I dareth not staketh a claim on it, for it belongs to another. Though, most assuredly, this story is mine own. Translation: I don't own Sailor Moon, but this particular story is my creation.  
  
Author's notes: How do other authors do it? If I ever finish this story, I'm going into retirement. Find a nice place in Florida or somethin'. Forgive my tardiness, but at least I have recovered, and I'm ready to write again.  
  
Thanks to the following people who've made me one of their favorite authors: Joanna, Mintora, Lizzie, and bad 'n' wicked. Bless you all!  
  
And many hugs to my editor. What a pillar of support and encouragement!  
  
Cast of Characters:  
  
Princess Usagi Serenity (Moon) Princess Ami Mizuno (Mercury) Princess Rei Hino (Mars) Princess Makoto Kino (Jupiter) Princess Minako Aino (Venus)  
  
Prince Endymion Anima-Mundi King Kunzite Acoupser King Zoisite Aufait King Jadeite Amerveille King Nephrite Jusdivinum  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages (Senshi communicate privately this way to each other, and Shittenou do the same. Blood relations can also communicate mentally.)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 13: A New Start to an Old Feud  
When left in the command of nature, the gravity of the Moon is much different than that of Earth. Objects on Earth would weigh much less on the Moon, so one would expect to see things floating around aimlessly and people unintentionally drifting toward each other. Fortunately for the Lunarians, the legendary Imperial Crystal, the source of the solar system's power, stabilizes the force of gravity, therefore anchoring everything and everyone to the comfort of the ground. Possessing that knowledge, Zoisite was utterly at a loss as to why he was feeling all light-headed and queasy. The world seemed to spin at ludicrous speeds, his eyes involuntarily crossed, and he swore that the ground beneath him had caved in.  
  
'This is what it must be like to be a drug addict,' he thought groggily. Of course, he was never known to come in contact with illegal substances. They ruined one's complexion.  
  
Suddenly, he was shocked back into reality by a searing pain on his forehead, but the burning sensation was not like a flaming coal against his bare skin. It was more akin to the feeling one would get by dunking one's hands into a tub of ice water while pressing one's unprotected head against a glacier at subzero temperatures for several hours on end. Zoisite jumped back abruptly, nearly tripped over his own feet, and then realized what had happened to him. Lady Mercury stood directly in front of him with the back of her hand inches away from his face. Because the nausea had not entirely settled yet, instead of seeing just one cerulean-haired princess waving a hand in front of his face, he saw three.  
  
He was about to have a heart attack.  
  
"Lord Aufait? My lord, are you alright?" she asked. 'Ye gods!' he internally exclaimed. 'What a ghastly voice! Damn near froze my ear!'  
  
While suppressing the urge to rub his ear, he shook his head and blinked hard a couple of times until the triple image of Ami Mizuno merged into one. Alas, he could not completely gather his wits in time. "Good lord, woman! Do you inject your veins with ice water?"  
  
She replied in the same icy tone. "It comes naturally." Minako and Makoto, who stood to the side with the other three Shittenou, perceived the faintest smile tug at the corner of Ami's lips.  
  
"I think you freeze-killed the nerves that got within a yard of your fingers! And what were you doing laying hands on me?" This last part he asked with a little more curiosity that he would admit.  
  
"Pardon me for noticing that you did not look too well. I only wanted to feel if your temperature was high--"  
  
"With hands like yours, I'd be amazed if the infernos of hell could make them feel a single degree warmer."  
  
Kunzite had had enough. "Hold your tongue, Zoisite. Anyways, you do look paler than usual. Lady Mercury, would you be so kind as to escort him to your infirmary?"  
  
An ominous shadow passed over her face, but with surprising affability, she complied. "Certainly. Come this way, Lord Aufait."  
  
Before Zoisite could protest, Kunzite gave him a deadly look that said, "If you give her a hard time I'll make sure I'll do the same for you." Zoisite shot one back that said, "If she kills me, I'm coming back to haunt you, you bastard." Contrary to his code of chivalry, he did not offer his arm to the fair lady, but she was quite content with walking swiftly three yards ahead of him.  
  
So Minako and Makoto were left to entertain the three leftover guests, but Kunzite was already set on business. "It is a pleasure to be here on vacation--" though his face showed no trace of pleasure whatsoever "--on the Moon. But since we are to stay her for such a considerable amount of time, I would like to be enlightened about the security system of the Silver Millennium."  
  
It had only been a minute since the beginning of conversation, and already he had put Minako on the defensive. "You needn't worry about that. I assure you that our security is of the highest class."  
  
"I can only be sure of that when I have reviewed it," he countered. "It is the job of the Shittenou to protect our young liege. I, as leader, only wish to fulfill my duty, as you, head of the Senshi, should understand."  
  
Minako gave a rather scornful laugh. "Yes, I understand perfectly. Why, if I were on Earth, I would probably be ten times more cautious than you, my lord." Kunzite chose not to acknowledge the insult.  
  
"Hate to interrupt this loving family reunion," proclaimed Jadeite, "but I really have no interest in studying maps and plans and the like right now. I think I will take a leisurely tour of my delightful surroundings, so please excuse me." He wasn't actually going to wait to be excused, so he sauntered off with a careless wave of his hand.  
  
Nephrite sorely wanted to leave with Jadeite, but he felt guilty about leaving Kunzite to fend for himself against two of the Senshi. The two men nodded their heads gravely at each other and then offered their arms to the pair of remaining ladies. Minako and Makoto glanced sideways at each other, made a tacit agreement, and took the proffered arms; Minako graciously took Nephrite's arm, and Makoto courteously linked herself with Kunzite. And so they made their way toward Aresian Headquarters, otherwise known as the heart of the Moon palace's security system.  
"My father owns seventy-five percent of the fuel on Io. In fact, it's been a family enterprise since the dawn of time, and someday I'll inherit it. Hell, we practically own the whole damn moon, and I wouldn't be surprised if we expanded into Jupiter. We certainly have enough money to buy that damn planet, and by God, we'd actually run things the right way! Ha ha! But I can only keep the legacy in my family if I find a suitable queen. I'm handsome, strong, and wealthy. how hard could it be to find a wife who's as beautiful as me? Surely, she must come with a generous dowry and a noble title, too. I mean, it would be a disgrace if I were to mix my family's noble blood with that of a peasant or commoner. What a scandal that would be! Very few women fit such a lofty position, but that is what makes you, my dear, such a favorable candidate. You are definitely easy on my eyes, and because of your royal blood, you will not get ugly with age. You shall remain youthfully beautiful, and what a trophy you would make at soirees! Every man will be jealous of me, and women will envy you for being my wife. I'd be very sympathetic to those women though, for it is understandable that they would want me so badly. Who says I have no compassion? But as I was saying, your family is as dignified as one can get! Just think, my precious kitten, what a pair we would make. We could hold the universe in our hands! I know that you are amazed that I have just honored you by proposing our eventual marriage, but our union makes perfect sense. Oh, you look so lovely when you blush, my darling doll, but do not feel bashful! Just say yes! Say yes, my love!"  
  
Viscount Edgeworth was quite mistaken. Princess Serenity was red in the face not because of a shy blush, but because her rising anger made the blood rush to her face. It took every drop of will power in her body to keep her hands in her lap in order to keep them from slapping some sense into the insolent man. She had spent the last hour listening to the viscount repeat praises about himself and insist that she was perfect for him.  
  
'I know that I promised Mama that I wouldn't hurt another a suitor, but what if I summoned my Senshi to disguise themselves and do the dirty work for me? Technically, it wouldn't be *me* hurting him.' For the duration of their meeting, she kept formulating various ridiculous schemes, but she knew that her mother would see through each and every one of them.  
  
"Oh, come now princess," he crooned as he rudely glanced at pocket watch. "I don't have all day for you to play this hard-to-get game."  
  
Serenity jumped to her feet. "I beg to differ--"  
  
"Oh, lookie there, honey, aren't they cute!" squealed an old, raspy voice behind them. The viscount and Serenity whirled around to face a plump, ancient couple gazing back at them in senile geniality. The woman who made the remark was a pear-shaped creature with a thin scarf framing her pasty, wrinkled face. Dull gray bangs brushed her bushy silver eyebrows. She smiled, revealing a mouth with only four teeth left, all of which were rotten. Although she was nearly twice as wide as the man beside her, she was an inch shorter than him. She could barely see over the bench. Her partner, who looked like he was born when the universe was created, was thinner than a metal rail but just as shiny. Light reflected off his bald head, and his skin was rather oily. His eyes were sunken in, making his bulbous nose look grotesquely huge, and he wore large olive green sunglasses. In his gnarled right hand was a wooden cane.  
  
"Who are you?" demanded Viscount Edgeworth. "This is private property, and the Princess and I are having a private discussion."  
  
"Shut up, you mealy-mouthed, rat-faced brat!" barked the little old man. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners? Show your elders some respect! Don't make me take off my belt and whip some manners into you!"  
  
The old woman whacked her husband with his own cane. "Oh, don't mind Rutherfurd, here. And don't take off your belt, dear, because your trousers are too big and they're too young to go blind." She then turned to Edgeworth and Serenity. "We're the gardeners, don't ya know."  
  
"For Heaven's sake, Ethel, we don't need to tell these ungrateful whippersnappers a damn thing. We've known these grounds since before Queen Serenity remodeled them. In my day, we had to do build with our own bare hands and cut the wood and stone with toothpicks. We didn't have all these fancy-schmancy machines. And we rarely depended on magic, even though magic back then was a hundred times more powerful that the wimpy parlor tricks you kids do nowadays."  
  
If it was possible, Viscount Edgeworth stuck his nose even higher at the newcomers. "Well, aren't you going to bow and curtsy to me? You should at least be groveling at the feet of Princess Serenity, heir to the throne of the Silver Millennium!"  
  
"No, please don't," begged the princess. "Excuse my. ugh. companion. These grounds are open for public enjoyment. That is why my mother beautified them."  
  
The old couple turned their attention toward Princess Serenity. The old woman hobbled over to her and beckoned her to kneel down. Serenity obeyed. "Yes, she is very beautiful," she said to herself, holding the princess's face between her craggy hands. After a few moments, she let go of Serenity's face and walked back to her decrepit husband. "I used to be this pretty, remember Rutherfurd?"  
  
"Eh? What? Who are you? Get off of me!" cried the old man.  
  
"Stop being an idiot, Rutherfurd. You're not that old. Did you take your medication today?"  
  
He began to throw a temper tantrum like a two-year-old. "Last time, you said that stuff was candy! It was awful! You tricked me, and I got angry, so I fed it to the peacocks. They seem happier now."  
  
Princess Serenity giggled. The dark eyes of the old woman immediately shifted to her, and it was then that Serenity first noticed how lovely those eyes were. They were the only remarkable attribute of the old woman. "I like this one!" praised the elderly woman. "You have a beautiful heart, princess. Whatever are you doing with this horny dog nipping at your heels?"  
  
"What do you mean by that?!" cried the viscount.  
  
"I meant exactly what I said, but don't be offended. As a matter of fact, I like 'em a little lusty. My Rutherfurd over here hasn't been "on the job", if you know what I mean, with me since. Goodness, I don't even remember."  
  
"Well, if you looked at yourself nude in the mirror, Ethel," cackled the old man, "you'd see why I get tired just thinking about it. But don't you kids ever think that I wasn't much of a lover. Why, when this prune of a wife beside me and I were in our heyday, we'd go at it like two ferrets-or perhaps weasels would be a more appropriate analogy."  
  
"For God's sake, stop! That's disgusting!" cried Edgeworth. "I think I'm gonna vomit."  
  
The old woman plunked herself on the bench right beside him. "Oh, you don't feel good? Let mommy make it all better." Her dry white hands had a mind of their own, and they soon found their way into his well-groomed hair and up his thigh.  
  
"Princess, help me!" he screeched. The old woman was doing everything short of consummating a marriage.  
  
Clearly, Princess Serenity was enjoying the little episode. "Oh, but my lord, a mature woman has infinitely more experience in." insert snicker ".whatever she is doing to you right now."  
  
"You two-timing man-whore!" roared the little old man. "Stop harassing my wife! Get off!" With every curse and every demand, he struck the viscount with his sturdy cane. "Get off! Get off! Get off!"  
  
Tears began to fall down the viscount's badly bruised cheeks. "I'm - OW! - not doing anything to - ACK! - her! She's - AH! - attacking me! HEY!" The old woman had somehow managed to unbuckle the viscount's belt and unzip his pants, allowing them to fall to his knees and reveal lavender silk underwear. With a final surge of panicked strength, he pushed the savage couple off him, pulled his trousers back up, though not completely, and shuffled away as quickly as he could.  
  
Princess Serenity rushed to the aid of the aged couple. As she helped them to their feet, she apologized profusely. "I'm so, so terribly sorry. Did he hurt you? Oh, I'm so glad you two are unharmed." She giggled again. "I can't say the same for Lord Edgeworth, though. Please, sit with me." A wrinkled body sat on either sides of her, sandwiching her quite cozily. "I want to thank you both for scaring off that horrid pig. He would not leave until he got my promise of marriage. I've never met a man so into himself or one as coarse as the viscount. If you had not come to my rescue, I probably would have committed a capital murder. Thank you, thank you again."  
  
"That's what friends are for," replied a very familiar voice. Serenity whipped her head to her right, and to her absolute astonishment, she was not sitting next to a funny old woman. Smooth, creamy skin replaced the ashy wrinkles, and rich violet-black locks substituted the dull gray whiskers of hair. 'But those eyes.' The beautiful dark eyes of the old woman were laughing back at her, and then it struck her like bolt of lightning. Those were Rei's eyes.  
  
"Rei-chan? Oh gosh, Rei-chan! But how. and who is.?" Ever so slowly, Serenity turned her head 180 degrees to her left. Not knowing why, her heart began to race, and every nerve in her body was trembling in excitement. Her limpid sapphire eyes clashed with penetrating indigo ones, and for what seemed to be a blissful eternity, she forgot everything else. Only those glorious indigo eyes.  
  
"Hello, Usako. Long time, no see."  
Aresian Headquarters was definitely one of the most impressive areas of the grand palace. Just to gain access into the secondary chambers, one would need to have an iris scan, fingerprint check, deoxyribosenucleic acid examination, hair follicle test, voice wave confirmation, and full body figure laser scan. Designed by the elite laboratories of Mercury, each test took less than five seconds. The princess Mercury was known to make weekly trips to Aresian Headquarters to update the systems and maintain its status as the vanguard of security programs. The phrase "state-of-the-art" was defined by the technology in the Lunar palace. Entering the Executive Council Room was nearly impossible. The only people who could open the doors were the queen and the Senshi, and they did so by shooting a beam of energy, completely unique to each person, into the "keyhole". It would take an intruder with magic a hundred times more powerful than the Imperial Crystal to successfully trespass into the Executive Council Room.  
  
It was within the walls of this room that a new world war was about to erupt.  
  
"For the millionth time, you pedantic paper-pusher, if invaders from the fifth dimension were to attack the southern border, we would be prepared with an armed force of 25,000 troops!"  
  
"What if the invaders were to attack on all sides? If the whole army is having trouble defending just one frontier, the invaders will break through the city's walls in less than an hour! You can't possibly mobilize quickly enough!"  
  
"Who said that the army would have trouble defending the palace? I don't know how you Earthlings train your armies, but in the Silver Millennium Coalition boot camp, we make sure that every man and woman is stretched to the limit of his and her ability. And how dare you take us as a second-rate army! Do you actually think we only have 25,000 troops? That's not even one-sixtieth of our army!"  
  
"Don't raise your voice to me, little girl. You obviously don't have enough military experience, because a *good* general would not put all his money on numbers. Never underestimate the power of an unknown attacker."  
  
"Ha! If you were listening to my earlier statement, you would have heard me say that we train our soldiers to be the best that they can be, and if you had taken the time to study our statistics, you would know that the Silver Millennium Coalition is the best defensive and offensive army in this dimension. Even if we didn't have such a massive reserve of manpower, we'd still destroy any opposing force within two hours. Go read a history book. I'm sure it will inform you about the unparalleled skill of our generals and warriors"  
  
"You mention a coalition. With such an eclectic gathering of super powers and super egos, I'm surprised it's able to function as one. How sure are you that your neighboring planets will come to the aid of the Moon in time? How do you know that they won't miraculously come to their senses and realize how silly it is to sacrifice their own people for the safety of one controlling state? A coalition is a dangerous thing. The Earth has been strong enough to keep itself from getting assimilated into the Moon's empire, unlike the other planets of this system." Kunzite sat in one of the fine black leather chairs with his hands resting placidly on a large geographical map. One clean, white eyebrow was haughtily raised, and his stone-cold eyes met Minako's blazing blue ones in a defiant challenge. "And the best of your fighters may not compare to the best of other unidentified aggressors," he added for good measure.  
  
Minako glared daggers at the pompous platinum-haired king, and she actually twirled a steel dagger between her fingers quite viciously. She had spent the past hour shouting back at his presumptuous comments; her throat began to feel sore.  
  
The situation was really quite simple: Kunzite was trying to make Minako look inferior to him, for he thought that she was too immature to deserve such a distinguished position, and Minako was painting Kunzite as a know-it-all wannabe. 'He's trying to make me look bad on my own territory,' she thought dryly. 'What a dip-stick.'  
  
In the middle of the argument, Makoto, who was thoroughly offended, got up and was about to tackle Kunzite and beat the crap out him when Nephrite stopped her with a firm hand on her shoulder. Angrily, she shook his hand off, but she remained seated in her chair. She was too furious to speak coherently. Nephrite just sat silently, taking in everything that went on around him.  
  
Kunzite wasn't done. "And look at this area on the map. You have naval bases all along the coast except at this point. Seventy-six degrees north latitude, one hundred and nine degrees west longitude. There isn't a naval base for two hundred miles. that's just begging for an attack."  
  
"No," growled Minako through her teeth, "but there is a battleship stationed five miles from the coast of that zone."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"RIGHT THERE!" With the dexterity of a magician, she grabbed the handle of her dagger and violently stabbed at the map. It vibrated menacingly between Kunzite's middle and index fingers.  
  
Someone in the room let out a faint whimper. To this day, Kunzite maintains that Minako, who realized what a major faux pas she had just made, was the one who whimpered. Minako swears that the whimper came from a very frightened Kunzite. Makoto and Nephrite were too shocked to really tell who did it.  
  
"Ahem. Nice aim."  
  
"I wasn't aiming for the map."  
  
Makoto finally found her voice. "Well, I think we've already dissected every aspect of our security system that can possibly be dissected."  
  
"But we haven't discussed theft alert or gone over the plans of the palace itself!" exclaimed the high commander of Earth.  
  
"Princess Ami is more well-informed than anyone. I'm sure we can track her down and have her give you a complete lecture later."  
  
"Yeah," Nephrite interposed. "We've just got here. Our minds will be better prepared to digest all this important information tomorrow."  
  
"Let us go to the stables," suggested Makoto in an attempt to ease the tension. "I was planning to go there anyways. It will be. fun."  
  
It was agreed. They left Aresian Headquarters and reached the imperial stables in fifteen minutes. Princess Makoto spent the majority of her free time around the royal horses. One could say that she was a regular resident, and she was often seen riding around on her beloved steed or grooming the other horses. As the four royals walked through the stables, she lovingly petted the horses' manes and fed them carrots. Nephrite was taken aback by this display of tenderness.  
  
"You seem to be very well-acquainted with the horses," he observed.  
  
"Know them? Mako-chan reared and trained them all," boasted Minako. "She's the best rider, too, though that's no surprise since the horse is the emblem of Jupiter."  
  
"Emblem?" questioned Kunzite. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You mean that Earth has no representative animal on its coat of arms?"  
  
"I see. Yes, we do. It's the lion."  
  
"That makes sense. If you take that intimidating mane away, all you have is a pussy cat."  
  
Makoto cleared her throat and nudged Minako in the ribs. "Yes, well, each planet of the Silver Millennium also has one or two animals on its coat of arms. We actually have a couple of them in these stables -- the animals that one can actually saddle." One by one, she introduced the two Earth kings to the unique inhabitants of the Lunar stables.  
  
In the first stable was a pristine white Pegasus. The feathers of its majestic wings were softer than clouds, and its mane and tail glittered with diamond dust. Crowning its head was an ivory horn that was over a foot in length, and its eyes were iridescent rainbows. "This is Mystique. She's an alpine mountain unicorn, the emblem of the Moon."  
  
"Correction, princess! I'm an *oriental* mountain unicorn," Mystique articulated. Kunzite and Nephrite were ready to go into apoplexy.  
  
"And she talks," added the Jovian princess.  
  
The next stable, marked with the Mercurian coat of arms, was the home of a dignified snow wolf named Perspicacity. Its fur was mainly a snowy white, but its paws, ears, and tail were a wintry blue. It had lain quietly on a voluminous navy mattress as it watched its visitors with its strangely clever eyes. Nephrite could not shake the feeling that the eyes had a keen human quality. "The snow owl is Mercury's other national creature, for it is a symbol of wisdom."  
  
The next stable could barely contain its tenant. A stunning tiger, twice the size of a Terran Siberian tiger, prowled around its rectangular room. Its coloring was also the inverse of an average tiger. Instead of dark brown stripes, its body was streaked with ribbons of gold, giving a stark contrast to its midnight-black fur. When it saw Minako, it jumped on its hind legs and leaned its powerful forepaws on top of the gate. It then proceeded to give her an adoring lick on the face. Minako rubbed its face playfully. "Hey there, Sparky! I've missed you!"  
  
"Sparky?" asked Kunzite incredulously. Nephrite shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Makoto picked up from her earlier commentary. "You might have noticed that you have not seen any creatures from Mars, besides Princess Rei herself." She couldn't help but smile. "The Martian emblems are the dragon and the phoenix, both of which are too large to house in our commodious stables. And now we come to the best part of our tour!" As if on cue, one of the stable hands walked out and handed the reigns of a superb stallion to Makoto. Its coat was a lustrous ebony, and although its mane and tail were just as dark, the light revealed deep green highlights. There was also an unearthly glow that surrounded it, though it was barely perceptible. The emerald sign of four, the symbol of Jupiter, twinkled on its forehead.  
  
"And this must be the Jovian envoy," declared Nephrite. "What generic name did you give it? Thunder? Lightning? Stormy? Twister? Whirlwind?"  
  
"Would you stop naming different natural phenomena? That could go on for a long time," stated Makoto matter-of-factly.  
  
"Okay, so what's her name?"  
  
"Sweetie Pie."  
  
"Sweetie Pie?"  
  
"Yes, Sweetie Pie. And it's a he, not a she."  
  
"That's cruel."  
  
"What? It's a cute name!"  
  
"Riiiiight, but for a male? If I were him, I'd probably drown myself in the nearest river for having such a sissy name."  
  
"Sissy, huh? I bet you two-thousand gold coins that I could whip you in a half-mile race!" With a blatant dare like that, Nephrite could hardly refuse.  
  
"I get to be judge!" announced Minako. "But I must warn you, Lord Jusdivinum, that you are bound to lose. Mako-chan has never lost a horse race in her life."  
  
"Until now," he confidently stated. "And raise the stakes to five- thousand."  
  
The race was on.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sorry, but I've decided to hold off the race between Makoto and Nephrite for the next chapter.  
  
Thanks to the people who e-mail me and write reviews to remind me that I still have a story to finish.  
  
So thanks to liz, one of the few people who write directly to my mailbox.  
  
And Andy, I do not hate you. I adore all my readers.  
  
Keep reviewing, peeps. It's a great cure for writer's block. 


	15. Ready, Set, Oh No

Disclaimer: Take note, people: 1) I'm borderline poor, 2) I'm as creative as a textbook, and 3) I'm not old enough to be taken seriously. *I* don't even take myself seriously. The possibility of me owning the rights of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon is slim to none, and slim went right out the window. However, this story is all mine.  
  
Author's Notes: I think I'm losing my touch… the creative juices are not coming as smoothly to me as they used to -- hence the lateness. I'm so paranoid right now…  
  
I dedicate this chapter to my editor because he tolerates my indolence and moodiness.   
  
Also, special thanks to the following people who have honored me by adding me to their favorite authors list: Mintora, girl of darkness, Abigail, and Shizuka Kaze.   
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages (Senshi communicate privately this way to each other, and Shittenou do the same. Blood relations can also communicate mentally.)  
  
Extra note: Remember that there are different forms of address: lord, king, princess, general, captain, lady… How one would address another demonstrates either formality (by last name/planet) or familiarity (first name or nickname).  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 14: Ready, Set, Oh No  
  
"This is the Imperial Infirmary? It's okay, I guess. Roomy. Maybe too roomy. I don't like too much open space. I feel like there should be something to fill the vacant areas. In fact, I'm tempted to stand over there just for the sake of filling it. Though I must say, I make a fine addition to the décor. This interior design is scandalous. It's so plain that it's actually shocking. Don't you think that white walls and white lighting would scare a patient half to death? It's one thing to think about dying and going to Heaven. It's another to think that you've already arrived. That's the impression I got when I first stepped foot in here. Chilling, absolutely chilling. The walls really need something to brighten up this dreary place. A painting here and there wouldn't hurt, you know. Or is art against your religion? You don't seem like the type to be interested in subjects relating to human expression, so I guess art would be lost on you.   
  
"Of course, your desk is neat and tidy. Not a speckle of dust! Files arranged by alphabet, category, date, and -- dare I say it -- color! My God, I actually found something in here that has color on it. Papers tucked into their folders, feather pen in the ink well, daily planner in the corner. Daily planner? Why would you, of all people, need a daily planner? It's not as if you have a social life. Oh, it's for medical appointments. Well, if you're so popular with the patients, why don't I see anybody here? Did you treat everyone and then 'accidentally' prescribe overdoses of medicine? I'm only kidding; no need to ruffle your feathers.   
  
"Goodness, it's awfully cold in here. What does the thermostat indicate? Holy monkey! You've got to be joking! What are you, a penguin? At this temperature, an ice cube would get goose bumps. Truly, I need to run tests on you. You are clearly a mammal, but your habits and needs are particularly cold-blooded.   
  
"What? You want me to sit there? On that? But it's made of metal! Do you know how cold that will feel? I cannot think of a more uncomfortable sensation. My trousers can hardly protect my sensitive skin against such arctic conditions. Hand me a cushion or something. I refuse to freeze my buttocks to that counter.   
  
"You look pale, Lady Mizuno. I can hardly see you against these pasty walls. From far away, it looks like you're a floating blue wig above an empty dress."  
  
With insult upon insult and question upon question, it was no wonder that Ami was white with rage. Not a moment of silence had passed from the time she and Lord Zoisite Aufait had left their respective friends to the time they had arrived at her private medical practice. Her gentle patience was much abused. Zoisite was naturally a garrulous creature, but he was making a famous effort this day. Determined to drag Ami into his own misery, Zoisite flapped his terrible tongue and lilted his cockiest voice to the utmost of his considerable ability. He said anything that would belittle her, irritate her, anger her, and/or affront her. If he was going to be stuck with her, he figured that he might as well do something productive. In other words, he'd be the bane of her day. Even if that meant denying his own opinions just to oppose hers, he did it gamely. The years of practice on General Kunzite, his senior officer, really paid off.   
  
'If I can get a reaction out of Kunzite the Stony, this so called 'Ice Queen' will go insane by the end of the day.'  
  
Ami saw through his ploy right when he first opened his mouth. 'Why would a man, who would rather take a vow of silence than have a genuine conversation with me, suddenly become so loquacious? Careful, Mizuno, he's fishing for a rude response so he can accuse you of being ungracious. Ha! Child's play.'  
  
No matter how much blood would drain from her face, she stubbornly refused to react to his insolence. 'I am *the* ice queen. I have had a million more acerbic words fired at me in the Senate house. If I can stand up to those iniquitous old men, then this stupid boy can never move me.' Early in her life, she had learned that it was infinitely more offensive to act calmly than to actually fight back.   
  
And it was working. Zoisite was getting impatient. His plan was backfiring.  
  
"Hey now, careful with that thermometer! *Gag* You're choking me! Watch it! That's my eye, not my mouth! Do you want me to go blind? What are you trying to do?"  
  
"It's called taking your temperature, my lord. If you will cease your wiggling, I can put this into your mouth, and we can depart much sooner."  
  
"Are you saying that you do not like my company?" Zoisite smiled. 'I almost got her!'  
  
"Actually, it is getting close to supper," replied sensible Ami. "I'm sure you have not eaten yet."  
  
'Damn it!' he cursed. "Oh, yes, quite right. You're as thin as that cotton swab in that jar," he said, pointing at the jar of cotton swabs in the clear container with the metal lid. "You surely could use a couple more meals. I can hardly tell you apart from that model skeleton hanging in the corner." He pulled the skeletal display closer and opened and closed the fleshless jaw, as if to make it talk. "Food for thought wouldn't hurt, ya know," he voiced, though his lips barely moved. Among his many talents, ventriloquism was one of them. "Though why would I care?" he continued. "I'm already dead!"   
  
Ami was horrified. She prayed that the person who so kindly left their skeletal remains for scientific purposes was not watching this. 'How can someone like Lord Aufait, a certified genius with an I.Q. of 520, so patently exhibit the maturity of an underdeveloped ape?'   
  
"I am usually so busy, I have to skip a meal every now and then. Thank you for your concern, Lord Aufait." She had the gall to curtsey. Zoisite wanted to scream at her.  
  
'Yell at me, swear at me, slap me, anything! For God's sake, blink if you must! This will not work. I'll make her display some raw human emotion if it's the last thing I do!' Thoughtfully, he leaned his elbow on the metal counter.  
  
"Lord Aufait?"  
  
"Yes, yes, hold on, Princess."  
  
"Umm… My lord?"  
  
"Sheesh! Can't a man think without interruption?"  
  
"Well…"  
  
"What is it now?"  
  
"You're resting your elbow in my week-old mucus sample."   
  
'Shit…'  
  
"All of these fine horses have been specially bred," stated Makoto proudly. After all, she was their breeder. "Pick one, Lord Jusdivinum. I assure you that they are just as good as my Sweetie Pie."  
  
Nephrite inspected each stall very carefully. Coats of chestnut, ebony, and mahogany shined in the dim light and saddles studded with gemstones winked at him. First place ribbons streamed down every wall, and he had no idea how to make his decision. Five thousand gold pieces were at stake, but more importantly, he was betting his own reputation as the best horsemen that Earth had to offer.   
  
Rumors of the prowess of his regal, emerald-eyed opponent circulated in his brooding mind. She was said to have beaten a hundred other veteran riders in the Race of the Century when she was only fifteen. It was also rumored that her palace on Jupiter included an entire wing filled to the ceiling with first place trophies. The walls were supposedly hidden behind countless championship sashes, wreaths, and ribbons. 'Of course,' he thought disgustedly. 'Only she would dedicate an entire hall to herself. Shameless.'   
  
While he chose his steed, she changed into her riding habit. Her olive green riding coat melded with her healthy, curvaceous body, and her shining black boots fit snugly to her toned, shapely legs. Her chocolate curls under her night-colored velvet helmet framed her pleasant, heart-shaped face, yet there was a cultured strength in her features. Her haughtiness radiated from her in blasting waves, and she smiled a smile that screamed she had already won.  
  
'She's incredibly attractive. It's a shame she's psycho.'  
  
"I was thinking, Lord Jusdivinum," spoke Makoto, "that a half-mile seems awfully… amateurish. I mean, if you feel that such a short distance is safer for you, I'll understand, but--"  
  
"Name the distance," Nephrite snapped irritably. "I can ride any distance that you can, and probably further."  
  
"Oh my, don't get so crotchety. I wasn't implying anything, nor was I doubting your skill," she said, laying the sarcasm as heavy as her horse. "I just thought that extending the course would provide a greater amount of entertainment. The property of the Imperial palace consists of a couple million acres of beautiful terrain. So why not take the scenic route? We could start at these stables, travel through the woods, cross the creek, go over the hills, traverse the prairie, and finish in the grove of willow trees. That's approximately thirty-eight miles, which would be like a walk in the park. Mina-chan and King Acoupser can wait at the finish line and watch our progress on the crystal globe so that no cheating will go unseen." She eyed him portentously.  
  
"I don't know how you play, Princess," sneered Nephrite, "but cheating is certainly not an option. However, it is most wise to have them watching the race as carefully as possible. And since we're elongating the route, let us also raise the stakes. Fifteen thousand in gold sound good?"  
  
"Twenty thousand sounds even better."   
  
"Deal. I was thinking of building a new ranch on Earth anyway."  
  
Nephrite's gaze finally fell on a smoky gray stallion with a white diamond on its forehead. It stood sedately, its eyes as calm as a placid murky lake, yet it had an aura of quiet strength. It had an inexplicable appeal that instantly won Nephrite's favor.   
  
"I'll take that one," he pointed out confidently.  
  
"Excellent choice," commented Makoto. "Her name is Somber Haze. She's one of Princess Pluto's favorites."   
  
  
  
Once the saddle was in place, Nephrite put his foot into the stirrup and easily swung himself onto his horse. Makoto watched him from the corner of her sharp eyes as she effortlessly mounted her faithful animal. Nephrite made a striking picture on a horse with his long russet cape and auburn hair billowing in the light wind and his broad sword sheathed at his narrow waist. Being the tallest of his companions, Nephrite became even more imposing atop the imperial steed. If she was not who she was, Makoto would have been a little intimidated, if not distracted.   
  
"Somber Haze," he repeated, patting the horse's neck. "Rather morbid, but it has a lucky ring to it."  
  
His comment slighted Makoto. "Luck has nothing to do with this, Earthling. Horseracing is a skill, not a lottery."  
  
Standing amused to the side were Minako and Kunzite. The Venusian princess swiped a delicate handkerchief across her smooth, creamy brow as she watched her friend glare poisonously at General Nephrite. "He's done it now," moaned Minako. "Mako-chan's the most competitive person I know, and she lives to destroy her rivals. If he keeps treating this like a game (which it clearly is, but don't tell Mako-chan I said that), she will painfully demonstrate that this is no game to her. Prepare his funeral, Lord Acoupser, and say farewell before she runs him into the dirt."  
  
"What makes you so sure that she will win?" questioned the platinum-haired Kunzite. "You Senshi are awfully full of yourselves."  
  
"We cannot be 'full of ourselves' when it is the pure and simple truth."   
  
"Nonsense. Nephrite is the best horseman on Earth. He has tamed a stampede of wild Arabian stallions blindfolded and has raced across a continent in a flat week. How can your friend possibly compare to him?"  
  
"There is no comparison," Minako declared boldly. "She is way out of his league."  
  
"If you mean that she's way below his league, then I completely agree with you."   
  
Menacingly, Minako backed him into a shadowy corner with a fine, manicured finger shaking angrily in his face. "You, King Acoupser, are a disgrace to the gentlemen of Earth. How dare you speak so blasphemously of Princess Makoto! Did your governess never teach you how a guest should behave? Or did your mother fail to rear you with morals?"   
  
Nonchalantly, Kunzite pushed her hand away from his face and said rather impassively, "I should be saying the same to you, Princess. This is how you normally treat your guests? Stick a finger in their face and insult their mothers? Really, I haven't encountered anything like this since I left the nursery."  
  
"Judging by your attitude, that probably wasn't too long ago."  
  
"That's big talk from an insignificant insect."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Are you hard of hearing, or are you just incredibly slow?"  
  
"I am rubber and you are glue--"  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
She laughed wryly. "Took you a while to figure that out. This odd little thing between us right now is just a game, like when we were kids. It's who can make who lose control first. Eight years ago, I was really bent on exposing your humility because you so maliciously uncovered mine. Today, it's different. Sure, we'll start out with games, but I warn you, I get tired of games very quickly. Soon, I will not be aiming for ordinary embarrassment. I'll be seeking your annihilation."  
  
Moving with deliberate slowness, Minako leaned closer to him and batted her long, voluminous lashes over her gorgeous periwinkle eyes. "All I need to do now is decide how I should do it." She clasped her hands behind her back and looked up at him with huge, lucent eyes. Kunzite, an inveterate stoic, stood as still and straight as a metal rod while she inched closer to him. "You are a formidable opponent. I have to choose my methods carefully." She stood so close that he could smell her vanilla and cinnamon perfume. When she finally stopped advancing, her body made contact with his, causing him to involuntarily look down at her petite form. His first urge was to shove her as far away as he could, but he was determined not to betray any sign of discomfort. Her doll-like face was directed to the ground, but her seductive eyes remained locked with his phlegmatic gaze. The tip of her golden slippers dug thoughtfully into the dirt. "I guess," she sighed, tickling his neck with her breath, "I just have to use what Venus gave me."   
  
Promptly, she spun around on her heel, successfully whipping Kunzite hard in the face with her luxurious blonde mane, and swaggered away with a triumphant smirk plastered across her face. Changing from coquette to killjoy was as easy as changing outfits for Minako, and she could put the best actors of the stage to shame. The goddess Venus could not have done better herself. Exploiting her famous charms was playing unfair, but as long as it gave her the upper hand, the rules of fairness did not apply. 'This is absolutely delicious,' she thought delightfully. 'I'm gonna have so much fun.'  
  
Kunzite stared coldly after her. His indifferent expression and his authoritative posture remained the same. He did not look or move in any way that expressed perturbation or perplexity.   
  
In fact, he did not move from his spot for a very long time.  
  
The reunion of Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion was so touching and intimate that Rei could not bear to sit in visible or audible distance of them. Their tight, sentimental embrace was not meant to fit a third wheel, as Rei sharply saw herself, and their covert whispers were meant for their ears only. After a few moments of agonizing self-consciousness, she finally announced that her presence was quite unnecessary. "I fear that I am becoming an intrusion, and you know how I hate to ruin a good thing. There is no need to flatter me with your kind objections," she declared, interrupting their genuine protests, "for I do not feel comfortable watching the two of you make saucer-shaped eyes at each other all day. My young eyes do not deserve such violation. No, no, I'd be much happier wallowing in bitter solitude. Trust me."   
  
Her jest succeeded in eliciting more objections, but she would hear none of it. Departing with a handsome curtsey, Rei disappeared into the lush foliage.  
  
Yet she was not entirely gone. Endymion, knowing well that Rei could run like the very devil, yanked frantically on their cerebral line. Rei! You can't leave me at such a critical moment! You know Usako better than anyone. It would be easier if you were here to prod the conversation!   
  
Listen, Cousin, echoed Rei's cogent voice, and listen well. If you are to woo my friend, then you must woo her alone. You think you're the only one who's nervous? It's all over Usa-chan's face. She needs you to make the first move. A third party is not only unromantic, but also inconvenient… not to mention awkward for me when you're proclaiming your 'undying love' and all that twaddle. So stop being a wimp and start being a man! Being psychically superior to her cousin, Rei cut off their connection and made herself inaccessible.   
  
'All he needs is to be himself. Besides, the Lunar Gardens are meant for lovers. Staying there would put me in a false position.'  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Hello, Usako. Long time, no see."  
  
"Endy? Am I hallucinating? It's been so long… too long! Oh, Endy! I'm so happy to see you!"  
  
"As am I, m'lady, as am I."  
  
"Ah yes, young love. Enjoy it while it lasts, kids. The only thing after marriage is death."  
  
(Serenity and Endymion together) "Shut up, Rei."  
  
"It's a fact of life. Learn to live with it."  
  
"Don't mind Rei-chan. She's starved for attention."  
  
"Usa-chan's starving all the time. She'll eat a three-course meal and half the dinner table as an appetizer."  
  
"You can see that Rei-chan is as charming as ever. Now, you two, explain yourselves."  
  
"It's simple, really. Rei and I, minding our own business, were taking a leisurely stroll through these gardens when lo and behold, we hear that we're not alone. Imagine my surprise when I see the fairest maiden in all the land, a flower in a field of thorns, an angel fallen from Heaven--"  
  
"Cut the poetry, Cousin."  
  
"Is there no room for elegant speech in this modern world? Well, anyhow, I was thoroughly appalled to see such an odious villain in the presence of my Usako. I saw it as my personal duty to rescue the damsel in distress, and if it weren't for Rei and her freakishly mannish grip, I would have hung the beast by his ears."  
  
"I thought you said you'd hang him by his--"  
  
"Rei!! Don't interrupt my story!"  
  
"That's okay. I think I get the general picture. Our talented little Martian sorceress was behind the elaborate disguises and the perverse scare-tactic. Honestly, Rei-chan, you need a new hobby."  
  
"She drilled me for a whole five minutes on my character, Rutherfurd. (You know, Rei, you'd make a fortune in theatre.) From then on, it was nothing but improvisation! I'm not ashamed to say that I found it ridiculously entertaining. My performance deserves an award."  
  
"Bravo, Endy! You definitely deserve some kind of reward. How can I ever repay you for your heroic and noble deeds?"  
  
"Ahem… well…"  
  
**End of Flashback**  
  
The sea of saffron and lime grass sighed lazily as Zypher blew his cool breath over the picturesque prairie. The warm light of the sleepy sun reflected on the snow-white doves, giving them a soft pink glow. Floating freely in the stream of wind, they camouflaged themselves in the feathers of fluffy clouds, and the clouds walked through the rainbow of the late afternoon sky. All was peace and harmony in the prairie.  
  
Until the thunderous drum of hooves shattered the stillness.   
  
Like two smoking bullets, Makoto and Nephrite shot through the once-serene pampas, leaving a path of crooked shrubbery and frightened rodents. Nephrite's cape thrashed wildly, like a flag in the midst of a storm, and his lengthy hair threatened to fly out of its cincture. The breakneck speed at which he traveled made the beads of sweat stream into his ears instead of down his face, and the wind slapped his face so forcefully that his eyes stung and watered. But his discomfort was not worth his attention. He focused on one thing and one thing only: the finish line.  
  
Directly beside him and not an inch ahead or behind was the equally determined Makoto. Her coffee curls bobbed crazily under her riding cap yet in rhythm with the beat of the hooves, and a flattering blush stained her high cheeks. Her powerful, long legs barely kept her posterior from touching her saddle, and her adroit hands firmly clutched the jingling reigns. She angled her body so sharply that her back was almost parallel to the trampled ground, and she was peripherally aware of an annoying ache in her thigh. Still, the physical pain would be nothing compared to the pain of defeat, and the latter would hurt much, much longer.   
  
Working the hardest were, of course, the horses themselves. Their flanks glistened with sweat, and their muscles rippled against the force of their phenomenal speed. But they were not normal horses, so the spectacle that they made while they ran was even more impressive than their momentum. Somber Haze became an ominous, ghostly figure whose hooves made no noise against the earth. Her semi-transparent body dissolved into a glittering, silver and black mist that trailed for several meters, and her ash-gray mane and tail seemed to fade into the wind. The antithesis of Somber Haze was Sweetie Pie, for wherever he went, he made sure that his presence was known. All the rumble and thunder came from his pounding gallop alone. Beneath him, the world trembled, and around him, the air fluttered in visible waves. When Sweetie Pie ran, the ebony velvet of his coat became a black mirror of volcanic glass, and his silken tail and mane transformed into sweeping bolts of electric green lightning that spontaneously branched in a million directions. The sparks violently exploded and hissed, and static electricity was left in his wake. For thirty-six miles, Somber Haze and Sweetie Pie sprinted tirelessly, creating a thick swirl of debris that made the landscape temporarily disappear. Only two miles separated them from the end of the race.   
  
  
  
Finally, after miles and miles of scenery and sweat, they burst into the grove of willow trees. It was the last stage of their race. Until this point, neither Nephrite nor Makoto had gained a decisive lead. They were so close that Minako and Kunzite, who watched them attentively via crystal globe, found no point in arguing over it. Then a miracle happened: Makoto began to slow down, allowing Nephrite to completely pull his horse ahead of hers.   
  
"Aha!" cried Kunzite as he watched the drama unfold. He pointed victoriously at the enchanted satellite and smiled smugly at Minako. "You see, Princess Aino? In the end, Lady Jupiter fell victim to her own conceit. Granted, she made a valiant effort, but she is no match for Nephrite. Don't look so confused, Princess. It was guaranteed to happen."  
  
Minako cupped her chin thoughtfully in her hand. "You are mistaken, my lord. It is not confusion that my face betrays. It is doubt. No, no, Mako-chan is not getting tired… she's purposely slowing down."  
  
"Impossible! Why on Earth would she do that? You're lying."  
  
"I wish I was, King Acoupser. Now I really am confused."  
  
In the corner of his eye, Nephrite saw Makoto disappear from his view. 'What's going on? Is she really admitting defeat, of is this some kind of ploy?' It was too good to be true, but the finish line was only a stretch away, and she was already too far behind to catch up. Euphoria never embraced him as it did now. 'I must take advantage of this moment! What better opportunity to revel in her disgrace?' He turned his head to grin sadistically at her. "What's the matter?" he hollered over his shoulder. "All talk and nothing to show for it, that's what!" Hysterical with laughter, he closed his eyes in sheer merriment and turned his face toward the finish line.  
  
And when he opened his eyes again, all he saw was white.  
  
  
  
"Wha… ? Where am I?" he asked groggily. The sound of his voice seemed muddled and distant to him. He tried to focus his vision, but all he could make out were bright white lights and clean white walls. "Great… I've spontaneously died and gone to Heaven…"   
  
"Aha!" exclaimed an unmistakably familiar and haughty voice. "I told you, Lady Mizuno. This place looks more like an eternal resting place rather than an infirmary."  
  
"Infirmary…?" A light was shined in his eye, and the scrutinizing face of Princess Mercury swam into clarity. Sluggishly, he propped himself up against marshmallow-like pillows to observe the room and its occupants in dazed silence. Perfectly made hospital beds with spotless linen sheets lined the polished limestone walls, and between each bed were retractable curtains and a miniature whitewashed nightstand. To his left was Dr. Ami Mizuno, who scrupulously studied him and scribbled down notes. To his right were two of his comrades -- a concerned yet slightly embarrassed Kunzite and an equally concerned yet obviously condescending Zoisite. Lady Venus stood at the foot of his bed, flipping aimlessly through one of Ami's medical journals.   
  
The puzzle began to come together once his forehead started to throb. He lifted a weary hand to touch the skillfully wrapped bandage around his sore head. "What… happened?"  
  
Ami took the floor. "You have a minor concussion, Lord Jusdivinum," she explained as she slowly and theatrically removed her reading glasses from her delicate nose. "Based on our witness' account, your forehead made seriously hard contact with a low willow branch, thus rupturing a generous layer of your epidermis. Fortunately, it will not scar, but you'll have a nasty bruise and a collection of scabs for a couple of days. I've already applied a special Mercurian cream that will exfoliate and replenish your skin." She handed Zoisite a small bottle of the stuff. "It will expedite the healing process. Remind Lord Jusdivinum to apply this medication every night right before he goes to bed. After a week's use, the injury will have entirely healed." Zoisite slipped the bottle into his pocket to throw away later. 'I can concoct something that will get the job done in two days,' he thought disdainfully.   
  
Dr. Mizuno pointed to a glass of bubbly aquamarine liquid on top of the adjacent nightstand. "Drink that. It will alleviate the head pains." Obediently, Nephrite imbibed the minty substance.   
  
  
  
"Feeling better?" asked Kunzite.  
  
Nephrite rolled his eyes at him. He touched the bandage again and mumbled, "That damn woman sabotaged the race."  
  
Ami looked up from her notes. "What was that?"  
  
"I said 'that darn willow sabotaged my face.'"  
  
The young doctor blinked. "Oh."  
  
The door of the medical center opened, and the click-clack of boots hurried to the gathering of royalty. Nephrite could feel his head begin to throb again.  
  
"Mako-chan!" hailed Minako and Ami.   
  
"Hey you two," Makoto responded. "It took so long to calm Somber Haze down." She rushed to Nephrite's side and eyed the dressing above his eyes. "Oh gosh, are you alright? Does it hurt much?"  
  
He glared at her. "I'm alive, thank you."  
  
"At the speed we were going, I'm surprised that branch didn't rip your head from your neck. You have to be careful in the grove of willow trees. The branches near the end are extremely low. One must slow down in that area."  
  
"Thanks for the warning," he grumbled.   
  
Worry lines marred the smoothness of her brow. "My lord, is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"NO! I mean, no." His bold eyebrows knitted together, and he regarded her suspiciously. "Why are you so concerned about me, Princess Kino?"  
  
Makoto burst into laughter. "HA! I'm only concerned about my twenty thousand in gold! The sooner you recover, the sooner I get my money!"   
  
  
  
  
  
Rei continued down a sinuous stone path that provided an escape from the Lunar Gardens. It eventually led her into a thick forest of tall, deciduous trees that grew proudly in their verdant prime and boasted of their summer splendor. Pleasing shade carpeted almost every inch of every surface, and the light that broke through the canopy of supple leaves created a pattern of bright, twinkling stars on the cool, dark floor. As she traveled deeper into the forest, the density of trees and vegetation increased. Another person would have felt claustrophobic. The robust tree trunks seemed to be guarding a secret treasure, but Rei casually threaded herself through them and reached a clearing in the middle of the wood. Situated there was Hikawa Jinja, a rustic outdoor temple.  
  
Unlike the opulent temple within the Imperial Palace, Hikawa Jinja looked incredibly unadorned. Not a glittering gem or a fleck of gold was in sight, and no doors of polished stone greeted her. The entire structure was comprised of smooth, unpainted wooden planks, and the sliding doors were nothing more than timber and rice paper. The windows, outlined with the same sand-colored lumber, were just rectangular holes with pure white linen curtains. Hikawa Jinja was simplicity manifested, and compared to the palace temple, it looked awfully plain, but Rei loved it just as much. Maybe even more.   
  
The late Martian empress, Lady Azalynn, was a free, nature-loving spirit, and she often found it hard to meditate within the confines of the palace. So for Azalynn's eighteenth birthday, Rei's grandfather had Hikawa Jinja built for her in a tranquil, isolated outdoor setting. During her service as Senshi leader, Azalynn spent the most time in Hikawa Jinja and maintained it lovingly. Now it belonged to Rei, and she continued her mother's work.   
  
But something marred the unpretentious beauty of the temple -- something that normally was not and certainly did not belong there. Something blonde.  
  
"King Amerveille," greeted Rei solemnly. She did not bother to curtsey. "What an un… expected surprise."  
  
Jadeite turned around to face her with that infuriating smirk of his. "You were about to say 'unpleasant surprise.' Nice to see you too, Princess Hino," he added, bowing ironically. The fact that he was absurdly handsome maddened Rei even more.  
  
"No 'princess.' Hino will do nicely."  
  
"Hino the Martian it is then. I guess you'll just have to address me by my last name as well. I do hate formal address."  
  
"I concur. The title 'king' does seem ill-fitting for you."  
  
He made a face of mock hurt. "Ouch, Hino. Only a couple of lines exchanged and you're already aiming to kill."   
  
Her exquisite amethyst eyes flashed as the left corner of her sensual lips twisted upwards in a disdainful smile. "I try."   
  
As strange as it was to admit, he was rather glad that Princess Rei had run into him. She was hardly delightful company, but at least she was interesting. Unlike all the beautiful women he had encountered in his wild life, Rei Hino never once showed any attraction to him. In fact, she had only expressed insurmountable hatred for him. Moreover, she was cunning. Unwelcome memories from his childhood began to surface, and he remembered the admirable skill she possessed in terrorizing him. He was intrigued - outraged and annoyed, but intrigued. 'She's still a raging bitch, that much I can tell, though she hides it much more now. However, she's grown up into the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen.' He sighed. 'One of life's frustrating idiosyncrasies.'   
  
He obliged his mind to move from the enchanting hellcat to the structure in front of him. "What is this pile of match sticks? You don't think that beggars are living on the premises, do you? It's absolutely hideous. Whoever used and left this deplorable shanty was either a hobo or a whore."  
  
Suddenly, his legs lost all their strength, and he crumpled roughly to the dirt. Next, his numb right leg viciously dragged him across the rock-strewn ground for at least three hundred feet. Finally, he was flung up to the sky, but two feet before his head could smash into ground, an unidentified force held onto his left leg. Dazedly, he dangled upside down and watched the world spin around him. A ring of airborne fire circled around him, the ferocious flames licking hungrily at his bare skin. The heat was unbearable; he was literally roasting like a festive pig. He stopped spinning once the upside image of Rei was directly in his plane of sight. 'Never mind,' his mind determined. 'She doesn't hide her true self at all.'   
  
Her eyes were half-lidded, making her look drowsy, but they glinted more dangerously than he had ever seen before. The beautiful amethyst sparkle was replaced with an endless abyss of black. The expression on her face was the same as it was when she had tied him to the Great Willow Tree eight years ago. "I do not care about what you say about me," she whispered darkly, "but do not disparage this building or its former owner."  
  
"Okay! Just put me down!"  
  
The feeling returned to his legs when he was abruptly turned upright and dropped carelessly to the ground.   
  
Jadeite could not understand the importance of the seemingly worthless shack. She probably would not tell him now. However, the horrifying ordeal he had just endured did not dampen his spirit or strike fear in his heart. He was much too lackadaisical for that. Limping painfully, he instead commented on her powers. "Your sorcery is far more advanced than I could have possibly imagined. I know that you were powerful as a child, but now your command of magic seems effortless. Commendable."  
  
Rei, amazed, realized that he was actually quite amused. "However," he continued, "your level of restraint has not grown at all. I, a royal guest, have just arrived on the Moon, and you, a hostess, have already begun to make my stay disagreeable. If you were still a child, it would be more understandable. But here you are, a grown woman who should know better. Be thankful that I have not dashed off and reported you to your queen."   
  
He was entirely right, and a little voice in the back of Rei's head acknowledged it. The dim hardness of her eyes disappeared after a couple of blinks, returning to their normal violet vibrancy. Breathing hard, Rei swung around, whipping her long raven tresses around her, and shut her eyes tightly. She held her fist to the cruel, familiar warmth that began to spread inside her chest. Her heavy gasps were the only sounds that echoed in the forest. Registering that the situation appeared serious, Jadeite approached her back, but Rei put up the back of a rigid hand to stop him from advancing toward her. 'Not now,' she mutely implored. 'It has escaped dormancy. I must be careful… I haven't lost my temper like that since before Mother… *He* has this effect on me.'  
  
(AN: Remember two chapters back when Endymion realized a change in Rei? This part of the story has something to do with that. The full explanation will be revealed in the next chapter.)   
  
A minute passed before she felt like her old self again. Jadeite was relieved. 'Not that I was really worried about her or anything,' he thought quickly. 'Though…if she died on me, the guys would likely think I was responsible. Kunzite would kill me.'  
  
Realizing how pitiful and unsavory Jadeite still looked, Rei lifted her arm so that her palm faced upwards. A swirl of silver and blue materialized in her hand to create a shining sphere of light. When it grew to the size of a cantaloupe, it rapidly flew over to Jadeite and burst over his head. A shower of miniature blue and silver stars fell upon him, magically patching up the rips in his clothing, healing all his bruises, burns, and cuts, and cleaning the dirt that swathed his entire body. By the time the last sparkle disappeared, he looked and felt better than he did before he was flung around like a rag doll. She lifted her head at a slightly elevated angle and looked down at him with what could only be described as bored superiority.   
  
But then her features softened, and the pride was replaced with tired resignation. Softly, she turned on her heel so that she faced Hikawa Jinja. Her sensitive fingers caressed the bare wooden handrail before she dropped them wistfully to her side. "This was my mother's temple," Rei whispered. "She died when I was thirteen."  
  
Jadeite was shaken by this naked truth, and he was ashamed of his careless words. "I'm sorry, I didn't--"   
  
"Don't apologize. Just remember what you said, and remember never to repeat those words."  
  
He nodded, understanding how callous he must have sounded, but he still hated being humbled. Her words stung horribly, but now was clearly not the time for a smart-ass comeback. Secretly, Jadeite studied her profile. 'Clear and delicate, yet sharp. A profile of glass.' The startling contrast in behavior both baffled and fascinated him. The young, undomesticated feline from hell was back with a vengeance, but that day, she inadvertently revealed a totally different side of herself.   
  
'This other part of Princess Hino seems more authentic, more human. She seems so sad, so mysterious. She's still as cynical and arrogant as ever, but simultaneously, she's a little self-deprecating.'   
  
A lone star appeared in the orange sky before the silence was broken. "What are you doing here alone anyway?" asked Rei.   
  
"Technically, now that you're here, I'm not alone." To Rei's lack of surprise, the years had failed to discipline his smart-mouth. Yet both were glad that the uncomfortable silence had passed. They could resume their verbal jousting. "You could kindly do me a favor, Hino, and make that statement true by disappearing. I did get here first, you know. Or are you intentionally following me? I'm inclined to think that your anger is a mask for your infatuation with me, and the more violent you act, the deeper I think you're in love. Proud women are known to do such things to conceal their true feelings. But remember: stalkers don't make friends. They get restraining order slapped on their foreheads. Oh, there's no need to deny it, Hino. I saw the way you were looking at me during the reintroductions."  
  
Still, she would not be baited into losing her temper again. "You did not answer my question, Amerveille. Why are you here?"  
  
Jadeite looked up to the heavens. Then, as if he were a patient yet exasperated parent who was explaining a very simple concept to a slow child, he replied. "I'm here on vacation."  
  
A gap of ten paces separated her itching hands to his tempting neck, but she decided that he was not worth the brief walk. Her next words matched the weariness of his. "Yes, Mr. Insightful, I know that. Now for the last time, what are you doing here in this secluded area when you should be with my friends and the other Shittenou? I thought sheep were supposed to follow their flock."  
  
"You're Senshi friends were much too dull, so I decided to go exploring. "  
  
"All the way here?" she asked incredulously. "You're probably lost and unwilling to admit it. And my friends are not dull. Obviously, their intellectual repartee is far too high-brow for you. I don't blame a simpleton like yourself for getting bored."  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Jadeite turned to face the temple. "If you call them intellectual, then bow down and hail me as the greatest mind in the universe."   
  
"Stop it. You're ego is suffocating me."  
  
"You wouldn't be suffocating if you'd stop your constant yapping and take a breath between sentences."  
  
"Long-winded I may be, but that is only because I like to say what is on my mind."  
  
"My God, it can think."  
  
Mustering as much dignity as she could, Rei pointed her pert nose to the sky and glared fiercely at him. "Unfortunately, you cannot. You apparently do not have enough brains to distinguish an 'it' from a 'she.'"  
  
She expected him to deliver a swift counterattack with his sharp semantic sword, but he surprised her by not speaking at all. Tilting his handsome blonde head a little to the side, Jadeite deliberately ran his stormy sapphire eyes slowly up and down her figure. Almost immediately, Rei's extrasensory nerves detected a distinct change in the atmospheric vibrations, yet despite how hard she focused her psychic energy, she could not precisely identify the new emotional waves. She shivered unconsciously. After what seemed like an inappropriate chunk of time, his breathtaking gaze traveled back up to her piercing one. "Do not doubt my sense of judgment, Hino," he murmured gently. "I can always tell the difference between an 'it' and a 'she.'" His expression became rather matter-of-fact. "And this case is not an exception."   
  
Just before Jadeite could get her reaction, every muscle in Rei's body locked into place and the clearing was washed in a flare of red. Unbeknownst to him, Rei was having an involuntary vision - a message from the gods, the Martians called it. Random images of faceless people and nameless places flashed briefly before her wide, unseeing eyes, and faint, incomprehensible voices echoed erratically in her head. The uncontrollable flood of images and the cacophonous song of conversations became too rapid and too intense for her mind to imbibe all at once. Then the flow of the manic vision turned into rushing river of blissful darkness, and the last thing Rei knew was a pair of strong, masculine arms carrying her further and further into oblivion.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Author's comments: I know where this story will go. I have no idea exactly how it's gonna get there. Writer's block sucks. Especially during an uncomfortably hot summer. And I have a Mount Everest of summer homework…  
  
I can't believe you all are still reading this story. In about two months, it will be a year since I posted the first chapter. That's amazing… I usually lose interest in things pretty quickly, and I don't even have attention deficit disorder.  
  
Thanks to all my delightful reviewers. I also appreciate some of the negative comments… they keep me on my toes. Keep sending the reviews. Public pressure forces me to work! 


	16. Sleeping Beauty

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY "THE WINNING LOSERS"!  
  
IMPORTANT: The chapter right before this one somehow changed, so the beginning scene with Zoisite and Ami was cut out. Thankfully, I've corrected this mistake. Please go reread it if you did not see that part!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. I've said this fifteen times already. Yes, I am a chronic liar, but no, I do not want a lawsuit. I don't even own a suit! All I have are old jeans and oversized t-shirts. But back to the point, I own nothing but this particular story.  
  
Author's Notes: This chapter will have its comedic moments, but it will lean more toward the romantic aspects of my story. I think that's a first…  
  
And for my editor, I've included some more Mina and Kunz action.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to those few and precious people who read and review my little fanfic. Many of you are also busy writers, but you still take the time to send your words of encouragement, and nothing is as thrilling as the support of one's peers. Thank you all for your dedication and patience.  
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 15: Sleeping Beauty  
  
A ruby locket. Laughing children. A balcony.  
  
"I'm sorry…"   
  
Trumpets blaring. A sword. A thermometer.  
  
"The perfect what?"  
  
A crowded ballroom. Candles. A featherbed.   
  
"Please, listen to me!"  
  
A white glove. A white lily. A white ribbon.   
  
"Mother would never have done this to me!"  
  
A punching bag. The Lunar Gardens.   
  
A dark-haired man. A parade. Nameless officers.  
  
"Why did you do it?"  
  
"Because of you."  
  
An orchestra. An empty hallway. A nurse.  
  
The Lunar Ballroom. Twilight Bastion (AN: Rei's home).   
  
"I made a promise, and you can't stop me from keeping it!"  
  
And then everything suddenly stopped. Gone was the insane rally of voices, and the seizure of arbitrary visions ceased its maddening rush. Rei, most thankfully, drifted into a cradle of sheer obscurity, where she was welcomed by a dreamless sleep. A soothing lullaby of silence ensued.  
  
Suddenly, the first golden light of spring broke through the wall of black mist, revealing a fertile valley of vermilion soil. In the concave center of the landscape, a colorful spectrum of carp swam against the taunting currents of a glistening river, and along the course of the crystalline water grew a perfect forest of grand cherry trees. The pliant branches danced to the quiet song of the fragrant wind as their small cherry blossoms hovered downward in a pastel pink snow, blanketing the rich earth with velvety petals.   
  
'Where am I?'  
  
Rei found herself lying beneath the umbrella of cherry blossoms, and her face was resting against the soft red ground. 'This is Martian soil. I'd know it anywhere. But… how the hell did I get back home?' Filled with curiosity, she slowly stood up to brush the petals from her gown, but surprisingly, there were none. With the heavy rain of cherry blossoms, it was odd that none of them clung to her. She decided to test her suspicions by holding out her fair hand, and sure enough, the falling petals passed right through her. 'So the divine spirits have actually put me into a vision, but what do they mean by doing that?'  
  
Instinctively, she followed the sound of rushing water and found the little river full of carp. She studied them as they struggled against the current, and after a moment's contemplation, she elected to walk in the opposite direction. Symbolism was everything. She did not want to be like the fish that swam against the current and got nowhere. Instead, she would go with the flow of nature.   
  
"What's wrong with her, Lady Mercury? What happened?" asked an addled and anxious Jadeite. It was ridiculously hard for him to speak coherently, but he managed to construct and verbalize two sensible sentences. When he had dashed to the infirmary with Princess Mars in his arms, his legs were unstoppable, but now he could barely stand up straight. Rei was lying limply on the hospital bed, and Ami was fluttering about her, examining the dilation of her pupils, the rhythm of her pulse, her body temperature, and her brainwaves. Although Doctor Mizuno was behaving as professionally and calmly as she always did, she was beside herself with fretfulness. Minako, Makoto, and Serenity shared the exact same sentiments. Endymion frantically paced up and down the room, and the Shittenou sat to the side in mute solemnity. They were by no means fond of the Senshi, but they weren't mercenary either. Luna, Artemis, and the elder royals were ignorant of Rei's condition, and the occupants of the infirmary agreed that it was best that they remained so for as long as possible.   
  
  
  
Ami ran her hand through her short blue hair to hide its slight trembling. "Rei-chan displays no sign of physical abnormality, except…"  
  
"Except what?" questioned Minako nervously.  
  
"Her brainwaves are off the chart, and I have no idea how to rouse her from her current state of unconsciousness," Ami finished dejectedly. She turned to face Jadeite. "Lord Amerveille, please tell us exactly what happened before Rei fainted."  
  
Gathering his wits together, Jadeite accurately related the incident beginning from the time he encountered her in the woods to the time she inexplicably fainted. When he recounted the part when Rei used her magic to torture him, the girls looked surprised and exchanged worried looks with each other, but they saved their comments until after he was done speaking.  
  
Zoisite was most intrigued in the report. "You say you saw her go into a powerful trance after the flash of red light?"  
  
"Yeah, and when I tried to shake her out of it, her muscles were clenched so tightly that she was as stiff as a bronze statue."  
  
Zoisite nodded in understanding. "I see. That could only mean that she was having an involuntary vision, or what the Martians call a 'message from the gods'. Only the high priestess of the Aresian faith, meaning the crown princess of Mars, can receive this divine communication."  
  
"Right," agreed Ami. "Lord Aufait has obviously acquainted himself with Martian history and culture." She acknowledged that he was capable of something other than chasing women and annoying the hell out of her. "Rei's present brainwave pattern is an astounding singularity, which could only mean that she is having a vision as we speak. But even when the waves return to normal, she may not wake up."  
  
As the group digested the details, Makoto, a little hesitatingly, asked, "Was Rei-chan very… violent… when she unleashed her magic on you?"  
  
"She looked like she was going to kill me," confessed Jadeite.  
  
Kunzite crossed his arms and looked questioningly at her. "Why do you seem so surprised, Lady Jupiter? It's not the first time that Lady Mars has illogically lost her fierce temper."  
  
"It's not the first time," Minako agreed, "but it's the first time in a long time."  
  
Reaching over, Minako lovingly patted Rei's cool hand. "I've known Rei-chan since we were babies, and although I call her one of my best friends, I consider her more as my sister. I admire her for her strength and dignity." Smiling, she continued, "She's always been a headstrong girl, and she's passionate in expressing her emotions. I learned quite early that she's a force to be reckoned with, and when she's mad at you, she'll find a unique way to show it. We're all guilty of losing our cool every now and then, but Rei-chan started to lose some control of her temper after her seventh birthday. Everyone initially thought it was some childhood phase and that it would pass, and nothing would be out of the ordinary for long periods of time. But when we'd least expect it, someone would provoke her into blowing things up or setting them on fire."   
  
Makoto picked up the story from there. "One of the worst cases happened when she was ten years old. All of us girls were playing in the marketplace and disguised in civilian clothes so we wouldn't attract attention. A pickpocket tried to steal my wallet, and when we confronted him, he called his accomplices to even the score. In the middle of a heated argument, one of them pushed me into a bush. I'll never forget the look on Rei-chan's face. If you didn't already know, she's incredibly protective of her loved ones. Her eyes looked darker than I had ever seen before, and a shadow seemed to come across her face. Suddenly, all the windows in the street shattered, and the next thing we knew, the pickpockets were sent to the hospital in critical condition. After that, we knew it was not just a phase."  
  
"From then on, her mother, the late Queen Azalynn the Great, performed fire readings every night," Ami persisted, "but no answer was revealed until after you guys visited us eight years ago. In fact, the last time Rei-chan unleashed her rage was when you last came to the Moon, but that time was a lot less serious than other times."  
  
"So the explosive Rei Hino that we met eight years was not the real one?" posed Nephrite.   
  
"Yes… and no," said Ami. "How can I clarify? Well, all those pranks and schemes were devised by the 'real' Rei-chan, but the 'possessed' Rei-chan was the one who actually put them into action."  
  
"That was the only time we thought it was funny," interjected Makoto. The Shittenou scowled.  
  
"One year later," Ami went on, "her mother passed away, and the volatile Rei-chan that you came to know never emerged again. Until now."   
  
The Shittenou listened with the utmost interest, and Jadeite recorded every word in his brain. Endymion was in shock, for he couldn't believe that he was never aware of this information. "How come no one told me this? How come I never knew?" They waited impatiently for Ami to resume her explanation.  
  
"It was only after you left that we learned about Rei-chan's true situation." She paused for a second to look compassionately at Rei's motionless body. "She is one of the many reincarnations of the first oracle of Mars, the most powerful priestess in Martian history. According to legend, the reincarnation of the premier oracle is born with all the power of her past life, but it cannot fully be realized until she becomes queen. Only the priestess with the purest heart and the strongest spirit will live long enough to see that day. However, the power is so intense that it can possess and destroy its own keeper before she ascends the throne. One cannot possibly predict when it will commandeer the keeper's negative emotions and multiply them a hundred-fold."   
  
"All previous incarnations, twenty-two in total, have died before they were crowned queen," added Serenity. "Some princesses committed suicide to stop themselves from inflicting further damage. Others spontaneously combusted. The rest had to be executed because the power turned them evil. The premier oracle spent hundreds of years mastering her dangerous art, but imagine how that same amount of magic would affect a young woman. Rei-chan has demonstrated amazing fortitude in her struggle to avoid the same fate of her predecessors. She fought the evil of her massive power and transformed it into good. She wrestled it every day and was successful for eight straight years. Yes, Rei-chan has always been sarcastic and impish, but above all else, she's kind, graceful, witty, and loyal."   
  
  
  
The winding river finally led Rei to a pretty red bridge that arched over the water like a rainbow. The solitary figure of a tall, fair-haired, armor-clad man stood in the middle. Even from far away, Rei instantly identified him. 'Jadeite Amerveille. And here I though that this vision had a meaning to it. Even in a dream, he bothers me.'  
  
Jadeite appeared to be waiting for someone. Then out of nowhere, a woman in a billowing gray cloak ran past Rei towards the bridge. The woman's face was hidden under a heavy hood, but Jadeite seemed to recognize her immediately. She jumped into his eager embrace and wrapped her arms desperately around his neck. His keen cobalt eyes softened into a deep, tender look, and he caressed her concealed cheek. Holding her close, he lowered his head to give her a long, fervent kiss, and their lips never separated until both ran out of air.  
  
Rei didn't know whether to pity the woman or pity herself for having to watch them. "What kind of woman could fall for a thing like that?" The absurdity of the anonymous girl made her chuckle. "Be lovers with Amerveille? I'd rather go lesbian with Neptune and Uranus."   
  
The protective hood of the cloaked lady fell away, and Rei felt like someone had kicked her hard in the stomach. She staggered backward in disbelief, shaking her head violently from side to side. *She* was the woman kissing Jadeite. *She* was the one who clung so zealously to him. This whole time, Rei had been laughing at herself.  
  
If she weren't already unconscious, she would have fainted dead away.   
  
The infirmary was quiet for a lengthened time. The girls felt a little guilty about betraying Rei's secret, but the truth was the only way to defend the claim of her natural goodness. She forever regarded her condition as a weakness and hated for people to know about it, yet none of the room's occupants shared her opinion. Jadeite gazed long and thoughtfully at her prostrate form.  
  
Endymion brought them all back to the matter at hand. "Thank you for telling us what Rei refused to divulge," he said earnestly, "but now we have to find a way to awaken her before the elders find out and get sick with worry."  
  
"Yes," said Ami, rummaging through the card catalogue of her cerebral library. "Her guardians might know what to do. Mina-chan, could you call Phobos and Deimos on the pictocom?"   
  
Minako was in the process of typing in their contact number when the porcelain face of a brunette angel zapped onto the screen. "Phobos!" she exclaimed in astonishment. "I was just about to--"  
  
"I know," replied the beatific figure, "and I'm Deimos, not Phobos."  
  
Minako apologized sheepishly. She had known Rei's guardian twins for as long as she had known Rei, but she still couldn't tell them apart for the life of her. How Rei was able to distinguish them amazed her to no end.   
  
"Phobos and I already know all the circumstances concerning Rei-ko," asserted Deimos.  
  
"But how?"  
  
The guardian smiled enigmatically. "What kind of spiritual guardians would we be if we do not know everything that happens to our charge?"  
  
"True. Now if you would be so kind as to - HEY!"  
  
Zoisite had shoved Minako to the side to have a word with the ethereal dark-haired beauty. "I don't think we've ever been properly introduced, my lady. I'm Zoisite Aufait. You might have heard of me. I'm King of the Eastern Hemisphere of Earth. How do you do? I like poetry and taking long walks on the beach--"   
  
Kunzite, mortified by his general's lack of propriety, whacked him in the head with crutches and dragged him away by his collar.  
  
Minako cleared her throat. "As I was saying, how can we get Rei-chan back to normal?"  
  
"The only way to revive her is to give her an antidote that is created from the roots of an exceptionally rare Venusian plant called promithicus. After you retrieve those roots, follow the cooking instructions that I am going to send to Ami-chan, and use a syringe to get it directly into Rei's bloodstream. But do not give her the antidote until her brainwaves return to normal. She should come around in a few seconds after the substance is injected into her system. Please work quickly, and be careful."  
  
"Thank you!" exclaimed the girls, and the pictocom reverted to a blank screen.  
  
"I'm going to Venus to get that plant," Minako declared.  
  
Makoto, Endymion, and Serenity volunteered to accompany her. Minako shook her head. "Endymion and Serenity must stay in the palace at all costs. I will not risk the lives of our future heads of state. Mako-chan, since Ami-chan must stay here to monitor Rei-chan, you're the only Senshi left to act as our princess's bodyguard."  
  
"Then allow me to escort you," Kunzite offered. Minako's eyebrows shot up into her hair. "As leader of the Shittenou, I see it as my personal duty to be of service to our neighbors of the Silver Millennium. Furthermore, Lady Mars is the close friend and cousin of our prince. My men will stay and help the Senshi in case an emergency occurs in our absence." His explanation satisfied Minako, and the matter was settled.  
  
Taking off her round blue earring, Ami handed it to Minako. "Just press on it, and the graphic visor will appear. And take my handheld computer. They will both help you find and identify the plant."  
  
"Okay. King Acoupser and I probably won't be back until after dinner, so all you staying in the palace must come up with good excuses to cover up this mess." The transformation stick crested with the symbol of Venus appeared in her right hand. "Venus Crystal Power!" she shouted.   
  
"Is it necessary to shout?" whispered Nephrite to Kunzite. The latter shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Out of thin air, gold ribbons wrapped themselves around her, and in a burst of sparkling stars, her princess gown was replaced with the infamous sailor uniform. Zoisite stopped rubbing the lump on his head to ogle the tight white bodysuit, the cute blue-violet bow on her chest, and the short, pleated orange skirt that exposed her long, slender legs. He wedged himself between her and Kunzite. "You know Venus, we probably started on the wrong foot, but I just want to say--"  
  
Endymion punched him in the face to stop him from saying anything. "This is not the time for that, you idiot," he grumbled as he dragged Zoisite away.  
  
Hasty farewells were made, and Minako and Kunzite embarked on their mission. Conjuring a portal, they walked through it and found themselves in the jungles of Venus on the other side. Minako put a hand to her ear and pressed Ami's earring to activate the graphic visor. The weightless blue laser monitor flashed across her eyes, allowing her to analyze her surroundings. She proceeded to open the matching metallic compact computer and type vigorously.   
  
"Exactly where are we?" asked Kunzite.  
  
"The portal transported us to Euphillida Island, which is located in the middle of the Erosian Sea."  
  
The heat and humidity licked at Kunzite's face, forcing him to loosen his cape and unbutton the collar of his uniform. He might have envied Minako, whose uniform consisted of a short and airy skirt and a sleeveless top, but the thought alone threatened his masculinity. The heat was already getting to him.  
  
Reading his thoughts, Minako elucidated: "We're also on the equator, so this area gets a lot more sun during the summer. Did you know that Venus boasts of the highest temperatures in the solar system? It's because of the thick atmospheric clouds that keep the heat in, but I'm so used to it that I hardly notice. But if it becomes too unbearable for you," and she winked mischievously at him as she spoke, "you can strip down to your underwear. Don't worry - we'll keep it between you, me, and these trees."  
  
"Let's just find that damn plant," he growled.   
  
Minako accessed the Mercurian Archives of Information online and searched for information on the promithicus plant. She read the following description: "Promithicus is a perennial herb of the genus Panax, in the family Araliceae. It is native to the rain forests of Venus, primarily along the Cumulus Belt. Believed to have roots of extraordinary healing properties, promithicus has been uprooted to near extinction. It is estimated that there is one promithicus plant for every 2.5 million acres of forest. During the summer season, it grows blossoms with vibrant purple and orange corolla."  
  
Whenever they came across a flower that matched the physical description, the graphic visor would flash and the mini computer would beep, but upon further analysis, they would discover that they were mistaken. Nevertheless, they were optimistic, and Minako indefatigably continued to scan the area and follow the directions on the screen. Mile after mile, they trekked through the uncomfortable wilderness, the only sounds being the flapping wings of wild birds, the rapid typing on the diminutive keyboard, and the contemplative voice of Minako as she muttered bits of information. Then all of a sudden, the visor and the computer went blank.  
  
"Shit! You've got to be kidding me!"  
  
"What? What's going on?"  
  
"My equipment went dead!"  
  
"Are you sure you didn't accidentally press 'off'?" he asked skeptically.  
  
She glared at him. "Are you calling me a ditz?"  
  
He declined to answer.  
  
Momentarily forgetting his implied insult, Minako frenetically tried to reboot the system, but she never got past the wretched blank screen. "Ami-chan's computers are connected to her supercomputer on Mercury. Something must be blocking the transmission."   
  
"So how are we supposed to find what we're looking for now that are only tools are useless?" inquired Kunzite, fatigued and disgruntled. "I knew I shouldn't have relied on your people's technology."  
  
Minako was irritatingly unruffled. Instead, she pointed triumphantly to her head. "I can always rely on my famous Venusian instincts."  
  
He glowered heavily at her. "I'd rather depend on the broken equipment."  
  
"Oh, stop being a sourpuss. I do remember the last coordinates that the comp gave me before it flat-lined, and if we use the stars as our guide, I'm sure we'll be fine. Before you'll know it, we'll be back on the Moon and Rei-chan will be okay."  
  
"If I had known that we would resort to consulting the stars, I would've rather dragged Nephrite with me instead of you."  
  
"And if I had known that you would be such a whiny bitch, I would've rather taken him, too. Now quit complaining and follow me! We haven't much time!"  
  
Left with no other alternative, he trailed her. They ran for several more miles until they slowed their pace to a walk with the intention of catching their breath. The intolerably warm weather of Venus began to suffocate Kunzite. His mind became a little cloudy, and his tongue, unfortunately, loosened up.   
  
"Why are women so stupid and careless?" he grumbled.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Kunzite quickly checked himself. "Pardon me. Even the hottest places on Earth cannot compete with your planet. I'm not quite myself. What I meant was… Oh, blast. Nevermind."  
  
Being quite exhausted as well, Minako stopped him in his tracks.  
  
"Oh no you don't, mister. You've got Minako Aino curious now, and when Minako Aino gets curious--"  
  
"She refers to herself in the third person? Just forget it, little girl. Don't let your pretty empty head read too much into a meaningless remark."  
  
"If you're trying to distract me with your inane comments, then sorry, you're doing a horrible job. I was going to say, before your unnecessary interruption, that when I get curious, I become indomitably determined to learn what I want to know. So ask your question again before I have to force it out of you." She moved closer to him so that her face was barely three inches from his own, and her eyebrows knitted over her appealing and prying lapis eyes. "I can be very convincing," she purred evilly.  
  
Somewhere in his stoic mind, that small, crude male part of him wondered what naughty things she would do to get precisely what she wanted. The heat had definitely gotten to him. He casually continued their hike. 'Damn hormones,' he cursed. 'I thought those things disappeared by the time I hit two-and-twenty.'  
  
"Since that silly, girlish nature of yours refuses to stop pestering me, I can only surrender to your demand and thus preserve my nerves. I was going to ask you… what drives a woman to obey her instincts, to trust her feelings without a doubt? It's suicide, if you ask me. So why is the female species so negligent of the commodity that we humans like to call logic?"   
  
"If Ami-chan heard you say that, she would have blasted you with a blizzard and turned your reproductive organs into icicles."  
  
"Okay, so there are exceptions to the rule," he admitted, "but I'm speaking in general."   
  
Minako smiled. "Do you know, my dear general, that oftentimes a woman's intuition is more reliable than tangible clues?"  
  
"Rubbish."  
  
"Oh really? Well, take Rei-chan for example. That girl lives on her senses, her feelings, her premonitions, her instincts."  
  
"Lady Rei is another exception."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"She's born with those psychic powers."  
  
"True, but isn't every woman endowed with strong instincts? Granted, the princess of Mars has it to a much greater extent, but all women are born with it, and they're going to use it to their advantage."  
  
"Still, why don't *most* girls use sound reasoning once in a while?"  
  
"I have to answer your question with another question: why don't men think with their mind instead of their groin?"  
  
"That was unfair."  
  
"Aww, does the tin man wish that he too could be affected by physical sensations?"  
  
"Was that supposed to be an insult?"  
  
"Compared to what I really think of you, you might as well take it as a compliment."  
  
"You still haven't quite answered my first question."  
  
She sighed. "I am the Senshi of Love and War. Day in and day out, I cannot help but heed the certain vibes that I perceive. You may scoff all you like, but more than once have my gut feelings saved my life and the people I have vowed to protect. It is truly a shame that so many people, like yourself, are so remotely out of touch with their feelings."  
  
"The brain and the heart are separated for a reason," he pointed out patronizingly.  
  
"Ah yes, but they are housed in the same body, too."  
  
He pondered over her statement for a while, and when he was about to renew the conversation, she slapped him across the face so brutally that he thought his jaw was knocked out of his head.  
  
"DAMN IT, WOMAN, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"   
  
  
  
"Hehe, sorry! A huge mosquito was about to bite you," she explained, showing him the squashed remains of a nasty insect on her once-clean white glove. She then used her unsoiled hand to wipe off the remnants from his cheek. As she gently rubbed his face, she smiled contentedly at him.  
  
Impulsively, he gazed down at her, temporarily mesmerized by the movement of her hand and the expression in her eyes. "Why are you smiling?" he asked softly.  
  
She glanced at him solicitously. "That was the first time you called me 'woman' instead of 'little girl'."  
  
He was surprised that she would pay attention to such a detail. Apparently, she was, too. "There," she said abruptly, wiping her hands on the moss of a nearby tree. She gave a muffled apology for not knowing her own strength and vaguely suggested continuing their operation. He was more than willing to comply.  
  
Minako barely took three steps before her left leg was sucked into a marshy patch of ground. It caused her to trip, and her arms also got stuck in the greedy, damp mantle. "Step back, Kunzite! It's quicksand!" Now that her hands were trapped, she could not summon her Venus Love Me Chain. She was sinking rapidly, but her body from her shoulders up was still free.   
  
Kunzite reflexively summoned a shimmering plasmatic rope and shot it around the thickest and sturdiest branch of an adjacent tree. Fearlessly, he jumped into the pit of quicksand, grabbed her exposed shoulder with an iron grip, and pulled her out by retracting the rope of energy. When Minako's arms were free, she wound them around his neck, and the rope elevated them to the branch. Kunzite hauled her and himself over the bough, and they rested their backs against the broad tree trunk. "Did I hurt your shoulder?" he asked.   
  
"Is that concern I detect in your voice, or is it a tinge of hope?"  
  
"Be serious."  
  
She tried to raise her arm. "OW! I think you dislocated my shoulder." Kunzite instantly removed his cape to make a sling for her arm.  
  
"I think you're glad that I fell in," mumbled Minako. "It makes you the hero, and you got to mangle my arm."  
  
"I had no other choice!"  
  
"Sure… but really, I'd rather have a banged-up shoulder than die pitifully in a quagmire." She looked meaningfully into his visage. "Thank you… for rescuing me." She smirked. "I guess you're not as useless as I thought you were."  
  
He too cracked a smile. "Don't tempt me to push you back into the quicksand."   
  
"Oh yeah? I'll take you down with me."  
  
"Ungrateful," he sighed, and then his eyes blinked with a realization. "Did you know that you called me by my first name when you warned me to step back?"  
  
"No I didn't!" denied Minako.  
  
"Yes you did! You yelled, 'Step back, Kunzite! It's quicksand!' I didn't believe that we were on such familiar terms," he said in mock disdain.  
  
Her lips curved upwards charmingly. "Well, people have first names, so why not use them?" Kunzite didn't mind at all, and for the first time, they agreed on something on pleasant terms. They were not exactly friends, but they were not enemies anymore either.  
  
Night soon consumed the forest, and Kunzite pulled out a small torch to light their way. Since their last interlude, they had resumed their frenzied sprint, and nothing short of a confrontation with a bloodthirsty beast would slow them down.  
  
BEEP BEEP.  
  
Except for that. The two of them stopped dead in their tracks. Minako pulled out Mercury's compact computer and pushed on the earring. "Alright! System up and running again!" she cheered. The beeping sound got louder and faster. "See? I told you I was leading us the right way. We must be close to it now." She and Kunzite walked slowly, eyes peeled for the promithicus root.  
  
Out of the blue, a long saber was pressed dangerously close to their necks.  
  
"Don't move," ordered a gruff, low voice. Kunzite and Minako exchanged looks, but they did not dare move a muscle. "Now, hands up and slowly turn and face me," commanded the stranger, and they did as they were told.  
  
"Haruka-san?!" cried Minako.  
  
Haruka Tenou, senior officer of the Outer Senshi and princess of Uranus, lowered her sword and smiled crookedly. "Minako-chan? That you? Holy moly, what the devil are you doing in the middle of this jungle?" the tall, elder Senshi asked as she patted Minako's head warmly. Her short, sandy-colored hair swept over her amused and arresting navy eyes, and she crossed her muscular yet elegant arms across her chest. Haruka was certainly an attractive woman, but the way she dressed and behaved made her more handsome than pretty.  
  
"I should ask the same of you," answered Minako, clearly perplexed.  
  
"I'm on vacation. Can't you tell by my getup?" Minako finally observed the baggy button-front shirt patterned with martini glasses and palm trees, the khaki cargo shorts, and the thong sandals. Kunzite thought she was crazy. Minako just laughed.   
  
"Minako-chan, what happened to your arm?"  
  
"It's a long story."  
  
"And if it isn't King Kunzite Acoupser! How have you been, sir?"  
  
"I've been better, but I'm glad to see you again, Princess Tenou."  
  
"Oh, just call me Haruka. So, what are you two kids doing all alone in the middle of nowhere?" she interrogated suggestively. "This is undoubtedly a strange place to have a romantic rendezvous, don't you think? The backseat of a carriage would have been more convenient."  
  
Kunzite and Minako were quick to explain the crisis back on the Moon because, first of all, it was their top priority, and secondly, it distracted Haruka from the rising blushes in their faces. Haruka converted to perfect seriousness and asked to see the tiny beeping computer. "I think what you're looking for might be located at my camp, just a hundred meters ahead," she claimed. She swiftly led the way, and the duo raced after her. Sailor Uranus was a monster when it came to speed, so they reached the campsite a while after her. There, they met up with the other three Outer Senshi.  
  
Michiru Kaiou greeted them affectionately. She was not surprised when they arrived together -- she had seen them in her enchanted mirror. The beautiful water Senshi of Neptune was as cool and graceful as her element, and she was arguably the most refined of the princesses of the Silver Millennium. Her aquamarine hair cascaded down her back like a whimsical waterfall, and her enchanting green blue eyes sparkled like the sea. Unfortunately for the male race, she was the devoted life partner of Haruka, who loved her more than any man ever could.  
  
Princess Setsuna Meiou of Pluto, protector of the Time Gate, stood sedately next to Michiru. Her glossy black hair, which was streaked with an iridescent emerald, swept the backs of the calves, and the light of the campfire complimented her glowing tan skin. Her unfathomable garnet eyes always gave one the impression that she was a wise, old spirit despite her fine, youthful features. She gave Minako a hug and smiled at the king from Earth, but as she performed these gestures, she studied the pair meditatively. Minako caught the significant look, but she knew that Setsuna never shared her knowledge of the past, present, and future, for she had pledged eternal secrecy.  
  
The last of the bunch dozed in her sleeping bag. The young princess of Saturn, Hotaru Tomoe, was the picture of innocence with her mysteriously exquisite heliotrope eyes closed in peaceful slumber and her slim hand resting against her pillow. Her silky, shoulder-length raven locks were a striking contrast to her smooth snow-white skin. It was hard to remember that she was the Senshi of creation and destruction, the mightiest of all the Senshi. With the drop of her legendary glaive, she could obliterate an entire planet, but she preferred to spend her time reading or playing a game of leapfrog.   
  
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.  
  
The visor finally locked onto a target, and according to its results, the promithicus was supposed to be right where Setsuna stood.   
  
"Well, Setsuna, I guess we're going to have to squeeze those medicinal juices out of you," Haruka chortled.   
  
"I am quite sure that I am not a weed," affirmed Setsuna placidly.  
  
"Off course you're not, otherwise the natives of the island would have already smoked you."  
  
"Haruka!"  
  
"Kidding!"  
  
Michiru rolled her eyes. "Setsuna, I think you are standing on the plant," she suggested helpfully.  
  
Setsuna stepped aside, and indeed there was a trampled purple and orange flower. She quickly yanked the roots from the soil and handed them to Minako to verify the authenticity. "We've got a match!" she cried merrily. Tears of happiness welled in her eyes. "Rei-chan will be alright!" Glad that their journey was not in vain, Kunzite joined in her celebration.   
  
The Outer Senshi cheerily expressed their relief.  
  
  
  
The volume of their hurrahs disturbed the peace of the sleeping one. Slowly, Hotaru opened her sleepy, adorable eyes and walked over to Minako. She passed a glowing hand over the injured shoulder, and the joints were magically set back in place. Minako moved it around and discovered that it was completely healed. Next, Hotaru quietly toddled back to her sleeping bag and promptly fell asleep.   
  
"When Hotaru-chan wakes up in the morning, make sure to thank her for me."  
  
To be continued…  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Can you believe it? "The Winnng Losers" has survived a whole year!   
  
Happy Dance  
  
I think I deserve a lot of reviews for my measly accomplishment as a sort of birthday gift. I actually enjoy the critical ones! Read the following review, which I have dotingly called "my favorite":   
  
"I really enjoyed some of the jokes that your characters made. They were quite funny and that's what made me keep reading. What made me want to stop was the way you portrayed your characters. Ami is still portrayed as smart and Rei is still portrayed as fiesty. You do what everyone else does. I'm not saying that you can't describe them as that anymore but don't depend on those characteristics in shaping your characters. If you really want me to believe that a character is a human being, then don't stereotype the person in any way (including associating them with the same color). Also, you describe these characters at a very high level, being kings and princesses, etc, but they don't exhibit that kind of behavior. I know that you want to make these characters more human but would kings and princesses really play prank jokes on each other? The point is that I don't think your characters are realistic as princesses and kings in the setting that you placed them. Now, if this was early 21st century Earth, then these characters would be much more believable. Where you set this story is just as important as what you write about."  
  
And what is my response to this? This person is absolutely, positively, one hundred percent correct! My story, "The Winning Losers," is technically outlandish, unrealistic, and unoriginal. I do often associate the Senshi with their custom colors. I have kings and princesses doing obscene and immature things because frankly I'm not talented or intelligent enough to make this a comedy without doing so. Yes, I do portray Ami as "smart" because Naoko Takeuchi, the ingenious creator of Sailor Moon, intended her to be. I have Rei act the way she does because it ties into my story better, but I have somewhat elaborated more on her character in this chapter. However, I do not think that my Ami is just "smart," nor do I think that my Rei is just "feisty." I believe that I have added a different dimension to each character than some other writers, but in my vanity, I'm probably the only one who thinks so. For my amusement (and for a small handful of people), I've created an entirely new universe where modern thought clashes with ancient custom. It's ridiculous and repulsive, as this astute critique so accurately points out, and I am well aware of that. I plead guilty.  
  
Unfortunately, this good critic sent his or her review fourteen chapters late, and now I am too deep in the story to change its course. I will, though, store these suggestions in my memory in case I decide to write other stories. (More stories after this mind-sucking monstrosity? I don't think so.)  
  
So if you are searching for a good, credible portrayal of the Sailor Senshi, this story is not for you. "The Winning Losers" is a burning eyesore of utter nonsense mixed with preposterous scenarios and glutinous slapstick.   
  
But as disastrous as it is, I have grown an irrational fondness of it, and my hard work this past year is a testament of it. ^_^ 


	17. Ladies and Gentlemen, Place Your Bets!

Disclaimer: Same as Always  
  
Author's Notes: I'm back, and that's all that matters. Thank you to those who haven't abandoned me and to those who actually e-mailed me to make sure I was still alive.  
  
I'm too ashamed to face my editor at this point. I've been on a hiatus for too long, and to suddenly contact him out of the blue seems awfully awkward. So if you're reading this, my dear editor, please accept this sincere public apology. Forgive me...  
  
Oh, and this chapter is for all the Ami-chan and Zoi-boy fans out there.   
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 16: Ladies and Gentlemen, Place Your Bets  
  
"She's coming to!"  
  
"Rei-chan? Come on, open your eyes -"  
  
"Give her some air! Let me examine her."  
  
"Thank God!"  
  
Familiar faces swam into view, but everything was blurred, as if she was looking through a window of cellophane. Rei felt a warm hand grasp her left one, and she turned a hazy gaze toward intense blue eyes and a mop of disheveled ebony hair.   
  
"Cousin... Endy?" she whispered, sounding uncharacteristically like a little girl rising from the land of dreams.  
  
"No, I'm the Easter bunny. Of course I'm your Endy, you nitwit!" he replied, beside himself with relief that she was okay.  
  
Her pale lips curled into a ghost of her trademark smirk. "Shut up, Cousin. I'm in no condition to match your obnoxiousness right now."  
  
"Yup, our Rei-chan is back!" cried Serenity, hugging Rei with superhuman force. Alarmed for her patient and friend, Dr. Ami nearly had to pry the princess's arms off of Rei. The crushing embrace threatened to cut off her air supply. Rei slowly raised a hand to her blonde friend's wet cheek; the movement seemed to be quite a calculated effort. The bed-ridden girl felt awfully exhausted, but she managed a knowing smile. "Usa-chan, silly girl, I am fine now. Wipe those unnecessary tears before you drown us all."  
  
Ami set aside the syringe with the promithicus antidote and performed a quick examination of Rei. Satisfied that her friend was out of danger's reach, she finally gave Rei a watery smile and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze with her cool hand.   
  
"Thank you, Ami-chan."   
  
Minako bounced Ami and Serenity out of the way, eager to have her own say. "Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty! Do you know how much we worried about you?"  
  
"I could hazard a guess," Rei replied lightly. "I've put you through so much trouble, Mina-chan..." Her tone became earnest and semi-apologetic. Although she had been unconscious, visions of the real world had still reached her, and she knew that Minako had ventured into the wild and humid jungles of Venus to find one live-saving root for her. "Thanks a million, Mina-chan."   
  
"Eh, don't sweat it. You would have done the same for me, and plus, it was a great exercise. I've never sweated so much or felt so energized in my life!"  
  
Kunzite snorted. "Speak for yourself. Your planet is hell with houseplants. Not to mention that I was stuck with you for a whole day in the middle of nowhere."  
  
"Aww Kunzite, don't deny that you liked it. It's not as if you ever get out anyway. So what better company to have than mine?"   
  
"No company at all."  
  
"Social virgin."  
  
"Sticks and stones, Minako. Sticks and stones."  
  
"If only I had some sticks and stones at hand to break those bones of yours."  
  
"Tsk, tsk. Violence will not get you far."  
  
"No, but it would be damn fun to inflict it upon you."  
  
Their insults flowed just as fluidly as before, but the malice was gone, replaced with harmless jabbing. In fact, Minako and Kunzite rather enjoyed it. No one save for Makoto paid much attention to the change. She even caught the fact that they addressed each other by first name, without title or rank proceeding the name. Keeping the thought in the back of her mind, Makoto decided to ask Minako about it later.   
  
"I thank you, Lord Acoupser," Rei added, "for accompanying her."  
  
"You're welcome," he answered solemnly. His opinion of the Princess Mars had changed dramatically after the Senshi had revealed her story. In all honesty, he was glad that she was alive and well. Everything he had previously held against her fell away, and he and his fellow Shittenou saw her in a completely different light.   
  
One of the Shittenou in particular, brooding silently in the corner, didn't know what to think of her anymore.  
  
"Are you hungry, Rei-chan?" asked Makoto, holding a wooden cooking spoon in one hand and a pot in the other. Where or when she obtained either item was anyone's guess.  
  
"Mako-chan, you know I can't live without your famous chicken soup," replied the other with a chuckle.   
  
"I'm on it!" Makoto gave her a quick peck on her forehead before heading out the door.   
  
"We too should all leave and give Rei-chan some time to rest," suggested the ever-vigilant Ami. "I'll stay behind just in case -"  
  
"No. I will stay."  
  
Everyone turned to face Jadeite, unsure if they heard correctly. Doing his best to appear nonchalant, he added, "You all are tired. Get some rest, and I shall make sure to see Lady Hino to her room safely."  
  
Shrugging indifferently, for Jadeite was an inconstant fellow, Zoisite, Kunzite, and Nephrite bowed respectfully toward Princess Rei and filed out of the room. Minako and Ami, defenses raised, moved not an inch, but a nod from Serenity encouraged them to trust the Earth general. They patted Rei's hand and reluctantly followed Endymion and his princess to the exit.   
  
Surprised and somewhat startled, Rei avoided making eye contact with the man from her premonition. Up until that point, she at least had other people to occupy her attention, but now... Now she was alone in the same room with him, and there was no way she could ignore him. She wasn't ready to face him yet, not after all that she had learned. 'What is he doing anywise?' Why did he volunteer to watch over her, the one person he detested most? It made no sense to her.   
  
Little did she know that it made no sense to him either. But his mouth ran on a mind of its own, and he was too confused himself to understand the meaning of his actions.  
  
Unwelcome memories of her dreaded vision resurfaced, and Rei still could not accept them without reasoning. 'How could I fall in love with *that*? He's arrogant and crass and reckless beyond belief! I've hated him since childhood, so how could our hate for one another turn into... something else... overnight?'   
  
But Rei was not foolish. The gods would not tell or show her something that was false. It was even less likely that they were satisfying a sick streak of humor. 'Maybe they intended to communicate a hidden meaning?' Whatever that meaning was, Rei would eventually discover it. Wisely, she decided to consider all possibilities, whether desired or not, and let the river of destiny sweep her away in its course. For the time being, the golden-haired, ocean-eyed devil would be re-evaluated.   
  
She could feel his eyes trained on her face, penetrating her soul. She was afraid to look. She was afraid of what she would find in his eyes. And Rei was never afraid in her life.  
  
He sat in the corner of the room, just five feet from the foot of her bed, with a strange, moody expression directed toward her. She fascinated him, no doubt about it. She spited him and annoyed him and insulted him as no one on Earth would dare, but oh, how she fascinated him!   
  
Maybe if Rei closed her eyes and ignored his very existence, he would get the point and leave. For half an hour, she pretended to sleep, hoping that when she opened her eyes he would be gone.  
  
She opened her eyes. He was still there.  
  
'Damn.'  
  
  
  
During this whole time, not a word passed between the two of them. 'He knows,' she thought bitterly. 'He knows about my inner demons... about my weakness.' His whole demeanor toward her was altered, and that could have only meant that he knew the truth. She hated giving her opponents the advantage of that knowledge, and she tried to hide it all costs. Above all, she didn't want any pity.   
  
"It's not a weakness, you know."  
  
His sudden words jolted her from her thoughts, and for a moment, she swore that he had read her mind. They were too close to home.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be gloating over my handicap? Go on and say what I know is on your mind. I'm a freak of nature, and you knew it all along. Go on, I don't care. I've lived with it too long to be offended."  
  
"What do you take me for? A simpleton?"  
  
"No, not a simpleton."  
  
"A slave of prejudice?"   
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"A pompous dandy?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
He smiled at that. "I'm glad, then. I may be the last one, but I'm none of the former. Trust me, Hino, you have many flaws, and I mean *many* flaws, but your condition is not your fault. You were born with it to overcome, and I believe that you can."  
  
She answered him with a roll of her eyes. "Well, now that *you* believe in me, I'm sure I can," she drawled sarcastically.  
  
"With that attitude, you won't live to see Tuesday."  
  
"If that means never meeting you again, then I'll die happy."  
  
"Keep insulting me, and we can arrange that."  
  
He took her arm as she rose to get out of the bed. "What do you think you're doing?" she snapped.  
  
"Escorting you to your room, as promised."  
  
She tilted up her stately chin in defiance. "I know how to walk."  
  
"Assuming that you don't trip over your pride."  
  
"Is this your idea of helping me?"  
  
"A thousand apologies, you royal pain in the ass."  
  
"That's 'Princess Royal Pain in the Ass' to you, sir."  
  
Her spirit impressed him, as did her slightly morbid sense of humor. Princess Rei Hino of Mars was a mystery - a breathtaking, frustrating mystery. Taking her hand, he gave a low chuckle that tickled her ears, and she unknowingly allowed him to escort her to her room.   
  
  
  
The cool night air caressed Ami's skin like a knowing lover, inviting her into the hypnotic Lunar gardens. She ventured into the darkness alone, wandering aimlessly among the velvet roses jeweled with drops of dew. Her diaphanous white gown trailed behind her in the breeze, softly fluttering like the ghostly waves of the sea. Ami had spent the entire evening fussing over and tending to Rei, refusing herself even a single minute of rest. For the whole of the situation, her only thought was to aid her dearest friend, and she had fought hard to keep her worries at bay. Now that Rei was well and awake, Ami could remember to breathe easily again. However, the weariness began to settle in, and the stress began to take its toll on the gentle girl.   
  
'I haven't even eaten anything since breakfast, and it's near midnight already...'  
  
It was one of those rare times when Ami, the self-proclaimed "Ice Queen", wished that she had someone to whom she could express her emotional trials. Someone who would help her forget about the aches in her head. Someone who would ease the heaviness in her heart. Someone just for her.   
  
'Quit it, Ami Mizuno. You're a princess, not a drama queen.'  
  
Though she would never admit it to herself, she secretly envied Serenity and Endymion. Yes, she was incredibly happy for them, for not a handsomer couple ever graced the universe, but was a Senshi destined for a happily-ever-after? She was surrounded by loved ones, adored by millions, respected by her peers, and hailed by her subjects as the noblest princess in Mercurian history.   
  
Yet she was lonely. Even the Ice Queen suffered a chill every now and then.   
  
  
  
Before she knew it, she found herself in the middle of the wood of evergreen trees, facing a smooth slab of dark gray stone that towered above her 5'6 frame. It was none other than the famed Poet's Stone, a national Lunar landmark. The legendary poet Elliot Exanimo, of both Lunar and Mercurian descent, outlined some of his most indelible poems on the famous stone, writing them in chalk and then erasing them once he published the finished product. He was Ami's favorite literary figure of all time, and she had bid furiously for the relic at an anonymous galaxy auction for charity. She remembered how rigorously she had had to compete to purchase the priceless item; it was a showdown between her and one other faceless Elliot Exanimo fanatic. The unknown opposing bidder gave her a run for her money, driving the price up to the astronomical value of 2.7 million in gold weight. But she had ultimately triumphed, and she smugly imagined the other bidder eating his heart out. If he had known that he was contending with the princess of Mercury, he could not have hoped to win against her, the heir of the wealthiest royal house of the Inner Alliance. She herself was a shrewd businesswoman and a self-made millionaire - a master of the stock market who executed a marketing plan like a military campaign. The other guy didn't stand a chance.   
  
In the spirit of the great Elliot Examino, Ami opened the stone to the public, allowing people to leave a few personal words on the inspirational rock. The surface of the stone was worn smooth with years of visitors leaving their own verbal handprints, and Ami herself loved to visit it occasionally to channel her own thoughts and feelings through song and verse. Picking up a nearby piece of chalk, she let the words flow from her soul and onto the stone. She stepped back to read her impromptu work-in-progress, for rarely did she realize what she wrote while in the midst of a creative spurt.   
  
The sound of a snapping twig in the distance made her body freeze, and the bulky piece of chalk fell from her hand. Senshi senses kicked into overdrive, Ami soundlessly made her way toward the intruder, crouching low to the ground and cloaking herself in the shadows. The darkness obscured her vision, but it was too dangerous to conjure a light. She summoned a deadly ice saber with her right hand, ready to plunge it into a human sheath if necessary.   
  
A long leg clad in a shining leather boot swung at her legs, but she jumped just in time to dodge it. As she whipped around to face the intruder, an iron hand clamped down on her wrist. The strong arm pulled her in, but with a strength that belied her slender frame, she flipped the attacker onto his back, twisting his arm in the process. In a heartbeat, she had the finely edged tip of the ice saber pointed at his neck.   
  
The prostrate man groaned, and Ami's eyes widened with realization.  
  
"Lord Aufait?!"  
  
"Ugh... That's a killer arm you have there, Princess. Now would you please move that saber a safe distance from my person?"  
  
Ami shrieked with rage and pushed the blade even closer to Zoisite's tempting pale neck.   
  
"Damn it, woman, what the hell are you doing?!"  
  
"What the hell are *you* doing, stalking around in the dead of night and attacking young women?!"  
  
"You crept up on me first! I thought you were an assassin or something!" He gingerly pushed the blade away from his throat and stood up with as much dignity as he could muster, ignoring her outstretched hand. His pride would not allow him to accept her assistance. She didn't mind at all - it was just a matter of courtesy, not of sincere concern.  
  
"You have not answered my question, sir," she stated calmly.  
  
"Can't a man have a moment of peace? Is it against the law to enjoy the quiet and coolness of the night? By God, you Silver Millennium people are maddening."  
  
"I find it hard to believe you."  
  
"And I find it hard to endure you. Anyway, I should be asking the same of you, princess," he muttered. He muttered other choice words as he dusted off his uniform. "I just had this cleaned and pressed today, too." He then turned a jaunty emerald eye to her flushed face. The physical exertion brought a pretty blush to her cheek, and her lustrous navy locks haphazardly framed her delicate face. Unashamedly, he watched her chest rise and fall with heavy breaths, and he took note of the beautiful white hand that clutched the lethal weapon. It was a striking juxtaposition, the graceful sprite of a princess and the long, sharp saber. He never thought she ever looked better. Though he absolutely abhorred her, he was a connoisseur of women, and he had to concede that she was indeed an exquisite specimen.  
  
A mocking smile curled his handsome mouth. "'Tis improper for a lady to be out alone at this late hour, or are you not as innocent as you appear to be? It's always the quiet one who is the most naughty, isn't it?"   
  
Ami's crystalline sapphire eyes narrowed venomously at him. "Watch your words, you uncouth beast. How dare you question my honor? And who are you to question me? Your reputation as a brazen womanizer has reached every corner of the universe."  
  
"I'm that famous, huh?" He grinned rakishly, running a hand proudly through his strawberry blonde curls.   
  
"You're disgusting." The control she had earlier commanded in his presence in the royal infirmary had completely left her. Civility be damned with him. "I'm surprised that you get around so quickly when your pants are forever around your ankles."  
  
Zoisite raised his eyebrows in astonishment. "Who knew you had it in you, Ice? Such foul language! My influence must be doing wonders on you."  
  
"You just happen to bring the worst out of people, MY LORD," she spat, "and don't call me Ice."  
  
"Sorry, ICE, I call the shots here. And it's not me who always has his pants down. Women usually hike their skirts up for me."  
  
"Well, just because you are a perverse Neanderthal does not mean that I fall in the same category."  
  
"Ha! Of course, my lady. You're sacred, I assure you. No man would be in his right mind if he wanted you."  
  
She turned away from him, withdrawing the ice sword simultaneously. "Quite right," she murmured, eyes directed toward the ground. For some inexplicit reason, Zoisite felt a tinge of guilt, and he regarded her curiously as she momentarily lost the cold fire in her voice and face. He meant to get a rise out of her - that was all. 'She doesn't really believe that, does she?' The Princess Mercury was a rare diamond in a field of glass. Beauty, brains, strength, wit, wealth, power... what man wouldn't want her? Zoisite was the only exception, or so he thought.   
  
For that instant, Ami was not the condescending pillar of strength that Zoisite had grown to hate. For a fleeting moment, she was not the perfect, detached figurine of ice depicted in the newspapers. He saw a woman, lonely and sorrowful, an ethereal prisoner in a silver cage.   
  
He took a step closer to her, but he stopped himself abruptly. Why should he care? More importantly, why did he care?  
  
The shadow that had crossed her features disappeared as quickly as it had come. She was back on the offensive. "I guess I can't compare to you in that department. I'm not half the woman that you are, my dear general." That was a blow below the belt, and she relished in the scowl that marred his beautiful face. She was obviously referring to the traumatic prank she had pulled on him eight years ago when she had magically transformed him into a girl.   
  
  
  
Zoisite quickly regained his composure. He refused to give her the last laugh. "I guess I should thank you for that, my lady. Because I had spent a day as a female, I have gained a sensitivity toward women that men would normally not have. The experience in getting in touch with my feminine side has helped me gain wild popularity among the ladies. They go crazy over my 'gentle, sensitive nature.' All thanks to you," he added for good measure.   
  
'Did my devious plan actually backfire?' she thought in horror. 'Am I responsible for creating this monstrosity?' She darted her eyes to his search his infuriatingly gorgeous visage. 'He's just saving face,' she decided, which calmed her nerves greatly.   
  
They stared into each other's eyes for a long time, as if challenging each other to see who would back down first. He was tall and slim yet definitely toned, and he was supposedly the brightest mind she had ever encountered. Why was she cursed with seeing only his worst attributes? Wasn't she supposed to test her intelligence with his? Wasn't she supposed to study the workings of his mind and engage him in intellectual debates? It was not as if she felt dumber around him - she actually toyed with the suspicion that he was not the genius he was rumored to be - but she surely felt more human. And that deeply disturbed her.   
  
If he wasn't so egotistic and repugnant, they probably would have been good friends, if not more. She immediately shook that blasphemous thought from her head.   
  
"Let's make a wager, Lord Aufait."  
  
That successfully piqued his interest. "Ah, so Little Miss Perfect has a vice! You're a gambling woman!"  
  
"Do you want to hear it or not, sir?"  
  
"By all means, proceed, counselor."  
  
"Thank you. I bet that you are incapable of wholly committing yourself to one woman. You sleep around to compensate for the fact that you haven't the slightest notion of true love."  
  
This wasn't fun anymore. Zoisite did not like the direction of this conversation.   
  
"You're one to talk! You wouldn't know love if it melted that glacier you call a heart," he bit defensively.   
  
"That may be true, but I do not partake in the same... activities as you do. You are insecure, so you try to assert yourself by dominating scores of willing women. So I propose this: if you cannot fall in love a woman - purely and honestly love a woman - and make her love you in return in the next, let's say, half a year, you must abstain from women for the rest of your life."  
  
"You can't be serious!" he cried incredulously. "You can't rush things like that!"   
  
"Frightened, Lord Aufait? I thought nothing was beyond your ability, your formidable charm," she said innocently.  
  
He growled viciously. "That's a high price to pay, Ice." Abstain from women? Forever? That was inhumane. "You might as well castrate me!"  
  
"That would work as well."  
  
Zoisite blanched. "I'd rather go with the first consequence."  
  
'How hard could it be?' he asked himself. 'Just because I haven't found a so-called true love does not mean I am incapable of finding one. I'm young, I'm rich, and damn it, I'm the finest man to ever walk on the face of the Earth! It's not my fault that I've thus far chosen to enjoy my life. But if I wanted to shackle myself to a wench, I could do it without breaking a sweat.'   
  
Then a thought struck him. He stalked over to the Mercurian fairy and touched his nose to hers so that they met eye to eye. "If I win, it is only fair that you must pay just as dearly," he snarled.  
  
She didn't flinch from his touch. "Fair enough. Name the consequence."  
  
Zoisite rubbed his silken chin, immersing himself in deep thought. 'This is my chance to ruin her life... I've got to make this worth the world!' The dam of evil schemes suddenly burst, and a smile of pure evil contorted his once heavenly face.   
  
The devil himself would have cowered in Zoisite's presence. There was something horribly demonic in the glint in his jade eyes. Ami braced herself.  
  
"If I win this little wager, my dear, I will choose your future husband. No contest."  
  
Ami stumbled back a few steps. She couldn't begin to imagine what hell he would put her through if she lost. This was her life she was wagering! Her future! Her heart... She started to regret that she mentioned the stupid bet in the first place... But what if she won? The odds against Zoisite were tremendous. None of his romantic liaisons lasted for more than a week! They both knew that he had solely experienced physical love, that no woman had ever captured his heart. 'He'll just pounce on the closest thing with a skirt! He's a man of his hormones, not of his heart.' Furthermore, he thought himself above everyone. No mere woman could tame him! She was confident that he would lose.   
  
  
  
"Deal."   
  
Zoisite's smile widened maliciously, and the two rivals shook hands professionally, sealing the bet and sealing their fates.  
  
She left him to let the gravity of the situation seep into him. He was Zoisite Aufait! He had never lost a bet in his life. Statistics and calculations served him well, and his determination served him better. 'Fall in love with a woman, purely and honestly... and make her love me... Child's play, I'm sure.'   
  
At least his vacation became more interesting.   
  
He walked around for a while until he came across an unmistakable shape. 'The Poet's Stone!' He inhaled sharply, suddenly humbled in the presence of the wondrous symbol. Zoisite wholeheartedly devoted himself to the works of the late and great Elliot Exanimo, raising monuments and museums on Earth to commemorate the literary legend. He was the proud owner of the largest collection of original manuscripts of the master poet and playwright. Dozens of the man's books lined Zoisite's shelves, and he always kept Examino's last journal close to his pillow so he could nightly read the most profound thoughts that the galaxy had to offer.   
  
Raising a hand in silent awe, he ran a finger reverently along the edge of the large boulder. He coveted the Poet's Stone... How close he had once been to obtaining it! With rankling bitterness, he recalled the auction that he had lost some time ago. He thought that no one else would drop more than 875 thousand in gold weight for the thing, and if no one else had placed a higher bid for just five minutes, it would have been his for the taking. But cruel is fate! Someone more obsessive than him had kicked the price up to 1 million. He gamely reacted, and a heated bidding war ensued. His anonymous rival finally slammed down 2.7 million big ones, and he was forced to admit defeat. The loss still stung.   
  
'How did the stone end up here, anyway?' The thought shortly disappeared when his eyes latched onto a couple of lines written in white chalk to the left. By the looks of it, it was freshly written.  
  
"Retracing my steps, erasing mistakes  
  
Saving whatever was at stake  
  
Voicing all that should've been said  
  
Changing directions, going ahead  
  
Living my life all over again  
  
But in exchange for whom I am?"  
  
Zoisite spied a piece of chalk by the rock, picked it up, and added onto what seemed to be an unfinished poem. Satisfied with his little part, he made his was back to his chamber.   
  
The next morning, Ami dressed appropriately for her morning jog. Being a doctor, she valued and maintained her health, running precisely at six o'clock a.m. everyday. She ran laps around the gardens, threading around numerous ivory fountains and vaulting over garden benches. As she ran through the evergreen woods, she hummed a random tune, a light-hearted and original melody that pleased the songbirds in the trees. She passed by Poet's Stone, heading out of the evergreen forest. She stopped dead in her tracks. Spinning abruptly, she jogged back to her prized rock. Something was there that certainly was not there the night before. Right beneath the poem she started appeared to be some kind of continuation. It was not quite her style, but it fit with what she had began.  
  
"No, never, not for a day  
  
For changing the past is changing my ways  
  
Because the events of yesterday  
  
Shaped the person you see today."  
  
Ami smiled to herself, strangely flattered that someone had answered her lines. 'But who...? An angel, perhaps?' She sighed, shaking her head. 'It doesn't matter, does it? Ratiocinate! It was probably some random tourist or partygoer. We often get such visitors in the gardens. Come on, Ami... What is wrong with you lately? Reality is not a place for dreams...' She blamed her frustration on last night's unexpected bet. 'Yes, that's it... but I'm okay, because I'm going to win. No cause for worry.'  
  
She picked up the chalk and resolutely wrote:  
  
"Let not thy heart govern thy head."  
  
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Rei spent the afternoon next to her Sacred Fire, allowing herself a short break to receive Phobos and Deimos. They sensed that something was troubling their charge, but they did not push the topic, and Rei was grateful for their understanding. She later accompanied Minako to a meeting with the heads of state of Noceteipsum and Nildesperandum to settle a boundary dispute. Makoto delivered an eloquent address to the Senate regarding the environmental crisis on Pluto.   
  
Kunzite, never one to miss an opportunity for self-improvement, decided that it was a perfect day to put his Shittenou through a healthy dose of physical torture in the Lunar Gymnasium. He grudgingly admitted that the training ground on the Moon was superior to that of their own impressive gym on Earth, so he looked forward to use it to his advantage. The night before, Kunzite had prepared the day's agenda, which went as follows:  
  
7:30 Reveille  
  
7:45 Breakfast  
  
8:00 Meet the boys at training grounds  
  
8:01 Strangle Jadeite. He's bound to do/say something annoying.  
  
8:02 Kill Zoisite. He'll pick up where Jadeite left off.  
  
8:05 Twenty laps around the track  
  
8:35 Thirty laps in the pool  
  
8:45 Keep Nephrite from drowning either Jadeite and/or Zoisite  
  
8:46 Keep myself from drowning Nephrite, Jadeite, and/or Zoisite  
  
9:00 Weight lifting  
  
9:20 Respiratory exercises   
  
9:30 Break  
  
9:45 Morning report  
  
10:00 Update His Majesty  
  
10:10 Pry Endymion off the princess, remind him to attend training  
  
10:15 Hit Endy over the head, drag him to training  
  
10:17 Hit Zoi and Jed over the head. They'll be due for a beating.  
  
10:20 Weapons inspection  
  
11:00 Target practice   
  
12:00 Lunch  
  
1:00 Afternoon report  
  
1:15 Escort Endy to Their Majesties and the princess for boat ride  
  
1:30 Combat practice  
  
3:30 Hit the showers  
  
4:00 Reconnaissance  
  
5:00-6:30 Free  
  
6:30 Evening report  
  
7:30 Dinner with Senshi. Prevent nuclear war at dinner table.   
  
  
  
In the afternoon, Endymion and Serenity took their parents, Luna, and Artemis on a boat ride across the Clairesprit River. The highlight of that excursion was when Artemis fell overboard, or more accurately, was shoved overboard. The incident began when Artemis continued his tireless flirtation with Luna, the woman who, despite being in love with the charming white-haired maverick for over two centuries, would still not admit it. The silver-tongued Artemis was bold that sunny day, much more so than usual, meaning that he was outright contemptible. She looked so radiant and so alluring in her summer dress, a girlish, airy number that flattered her pleasing figure. It was a soft shade of peach patterned in glowing mellow sunflowers and laced up the front with satin ribbons. Did she know how lovely she was? he wondered. She was older and wiser than the young lady he had met so many years ago, but she was just as stunning... He remembered their first meeting like it was yesterday; it was the first time she had slapped him and the first time he had fallen in love.   
  
In plain view of the crown heirs and their highly amused parents, Artemis tripped Luna into his expectant arms, dipped her low, and kissed her with all the dizzying ardor of his heart. Never did he cross the line like he did that afternoon. Until that point, he had respected his romantic - if it could be considered romantic - position with the fair Luna, which was strictly limited to scandalously provocative talk on his part and furious blushes on her part. The farthest he had ever gotten without earning a resounding slap was kissing her indisposed hand. But this time, he couldn't help himself... And he didn't regret it one bit.  
  
Even when she hurled him into the river, and even though he was soaked to the bone, he was ridiculously pleased with himself.   
  
Luna threw him a lifesaver. She had meant to bean him with it.  
  
Ami had the day off, so she devoted her time to some business affairs and a letter to her mother, Queen Miranda III. Ami had inherited her mother's love of knowledge and science, and like her mother, Ami pursued a career in the medical field. The queen was a soft-spoken yet fortuitous woman, the epitome of serene royalty. Much of Ami's mother was reflected in her, but she also shared the artistic nature of her father. King Midori Mizuno was an accomplished painter and celebrated musician. He had tutored Ami in harp, Rei in piano, and all five princesses in singing. He was a carefree man, and though he was a good monarch, his love for politics paled in comparison to his love for the arts. Sometimes, Ami wished she could be as free-spirited as her father, but she was too pragmatic, too grounded.  
  
After dessert, she made her way to Poet's Stone again, intending to run away with another creative line of thought. "Let not thy heart govern thy head," she read aloud to herself as if reminding herself of her own words. Her breath caught in her throat when she discovered the same unidentified handwriting from before directly under her own. 'Who is this person who complements my thoughts?' The handwriting had a floral quality to it, but the strokes were self-assured and masculine. Luckily, she could not see the blush rise in her cheeks. Both lines together read:  
  
"Let not thy heart govern thy head  
  
But keep in mind what thy heart has said."  
  
The person began something entirely different a foot or so to the side:  
  
"Can you answer all my questions?  
  
Will you reveal the things you know?"  
  
Ami hesitated for a little while before she picked up the chalk and answered:  
  
"If you'll be completely honest,  
  
If you let your emotions show."  
  
As she headed back to her private quarters, Ami quietly hummed a lulling tune, smiling all the while. As soon as her head fell against her feathery pillow, she drifted into a peaceful sleep, dreaming pleasant dreams. She dreamt that Zoisite lost their bet, and she envisioned him admitting defeat and begging for mercy.   
  
Later that evening, Zoisite visited the stone, the object of his affection, and he read the answer to the two questions he had posed. Somehow, he knew that someone would respond.  
  
"If you'll be completely honest, if you let your emotions show," his mysterious muse had replied. His mysterious muse? 'From where did that nickname come?' Oddly, it sounded agreeable to his ear. "My mysterious muse..." He scoffed at his foolishness. But still...   
  
"If you'll be completely honest,   
  
If you let your emotions show."  
  
Zoisite grinned to the laughing stars twinkling in the velvet black sky. For starters, Zoisite was not an honest man. And secondly, he was not in the habit of letting his true emotions show.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I know, it's been forever since I've updated. But look forward to the next chapter! The working title for it is "Shenanigans by the Seashore." It's quite self-explanatory, and I'm having a blast outlining it, but it will also give more background for our lovely Mako-chan, concerning "The Tragedy" that was mentioned in earlier chapters.  
  
As always, review, review, review. Thank you kindly. 


	18. Shenanigans by the Seashore, Part 1

Disclaimer: I think we've established that no one on this site owns Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, and I'll be damned if any of us ever do.  
  
Author's Notes: A change of scenery is always nice... I myself am in the mood to go to the beach. I'm a little envious of the characters in this chapter, but then again, judging by the things that I'm going to do to them, I'm content with just pointing and laughing.  
  
To my editor, whom I've been avoiding: I'm still ashamed of myself. I know you said that you'd stick around for the duration, but I don't feel right e-mailing you a chapter after almost half a year. I don't deserve you! I have to learn to do this on my own, now. I haven't the courage to request your aid anymore. I value your help and enthusiasm, but you must have better things to do than revise my overdue chapters.   
  
' denotes thought  
  
AN: =author's notes  
  
denotes mental messages  
  
The Winning Losers  
  
Chapter 17: Shenanigans by the Seashore Part 1  
  
"You're an angel. Do you know that?"  
  
"Yes, actually, I do! You tell me all the time."  
  
"You're my angel."  
  
"Oh Endy, hush!"  
  
"I can't help it, Usako."  
  
"Have you been taking lessons from my romance novels?"  
  
"That Annabelle on the cover is a looker, ain't she?"  
  
"Endy...."  
  
"I'm kidding, darling. Pierre is so much hotter."  
  
"He is a fox, isn't he?"  
  
Endymion gasped and put an affronted hand over his heart. "How could you say such a thing in my presence?"  
  
"I'm sorry," giggled Serenity. "I know that you had your eye on him first."  
  
"That's not what I meant," he huffed adorably.  
  
"Oh? And exactly what did you mean, my prince?"  
  
"I thought that I was the fox!"  
  
"You know very well that you are a handsome young man, Endy. I'm sure you get compliments a thousand times a day on Earth. You don't need me to tell you that."  
  
"But I like it when you tell me such things. Only when the compliment comes from your mouth does it ever mean anything to me."  
  
"You're such a woman! Aren't you supposed to be flattering me?"   
  
"Oh, but I just did! What I'm saying is simply this: people may tell me a million nice things, but a million nice things from them mean nothing compared to just one word from you."  
  
Princess Usagi Serenity II, being a lady of decorum, hid her growing smile behind her lace fan and turned her head away from him.  
  
"What am I to do with you, Endy?" she sighed, shaking her head fondly.  
  
The park was empty that cool summer afternoon, save for the two young royals and the understood sentiment saturating the air. They were sitting on the wood-and-rope swings, side by side, and Serenity's flowing, seashell pink chiffon skirts barely brushed the soft green grass. As she swung slowly, the amber rays of sunlight danced in her golden locks, and every now and then, Endymion would subconsciously run his hand through a silken river of her hair.   
  
Endymion stood up from his swing and moved behind his princess. He slowed her forward and backward motion by gently holding on to her narrow shoulders, and when she finally came to a stop, she tilted her head up to face him. He stood entranced, looking down and falling into her luminous cornflower blue eyes.   
  
"I flatter you all day, and yet you tell me to stop. A modest angel, you are."  
  
"I guess your superfluous adulation is okay for now. I mean, you're only making up for eight lost years, am I right?"  
  
"Quite so. Though the warmth of your letters has brought me unmatched joy, ink and stationary is hardly a substitute for the real person."  
  
"I thought I was an angel," she playfully corrected, leaning into him with her head still tilted upward.  
  
"You are. My angel..." he trailed off, closing the distance between their lips.  
  
The bright, cloudless summer season was the perfect time to experience the Sea of Serenity, just five miles from the Moon Palace. It was only natural for Queen Serenity to suggest a fun-filled day at the beach to her best friends, Queen Gwendolyn and King James. The first week of their visit was devoted to catching up and reminiscence. They were ready to have some real fun.   
  
The king was getting restless. He loved his wife more than life itself, and he adored Serenity Sr., but a man, especially a scamp of a man like James, could only bear the company of chatty women for so long. The beach sounded good to him.  
  
Artemis had caught a cold after Luna threw him into the Clairdesprit River, but he was nonetheless game to jump into the waters of the Sea of Serenity if it meant that he could ogle Luna in a swimsuit.   
  
"Plus," reasoned the Queen, "the Senshi and the Shittenou deserve a day of repose and recreation."  
  
And so our heroes found themselves on the shore of the sea, sandals adorning their feet and sunscreen lotion glistening on their skin.   
  
"Why am I here again?" groaned Kunzite, taking off his sunglasses.  
  
"For fun," muttered Nephrite.  
  
Zoisite eyed a trio of scantily clad blondes sunbathing on the sand. He then turned his attention to a sexy red-head frolicking with her pretty girl friend in the water. A sensual dirty blonde sixty-three degrees to his left was massaging sun tan lotion onto her thighs. His "wench-radar" was going off the charts. "You know, I think this trip wasn't such a bad idea."  
  
The memory of the bet with Princess Ami nagged him in the back of his head. 'But I have six months to accomplish that! Surely, I can take the day off today.' A steamy, exotic looking woman brushed against him as she walked past, winking at him to show that her brush with him was no accident. 'And maybe I can take off more than just the day,' he thought roguishly.   
  
He was about to follow the smoking temptress when an unmistakable head of blue hair floated into his peripheral vision. Princess Ami was a distraction, and for the life of him, Zoisite couldn't think why. He found himself standing in place, losing track of the anonymous woman who had brushed into him. He forgot that she even existed. Ami was certainly no temptress, and her present attire, unlike the rest of the beach's visitors, revealed nothing on which the imagination could elaborate. A sizeable, flimsy straw sun hat completely shaded her delicate pale face, and the upper half of her body hid under a thin, long-sleeved beige cardigan. Her matching floral-print skirt flowed down to her ankles, down to her light tan loafers. With lucid blue eyes framed behind gold framed reading glasses fixed intently on the book in her hands, Ami sat beneath the huge beach umbrella, content with the company of the sea breeze in her hair and the sand in her skirts.  
  
Zoisite couldn't take it. She didn't deserve rescuing, but she needed it. Determined to carry out his mission at hand, he stalked over to her, pulled the book quickly out of her hand, threw it to the side, and pulled her to her feet.  
  
"Lord Aufait, exactly what do you think you are doing?" she asked pointedly.  
  
"Saving your ungrateful self, Ice," he retorted, "And just call me Zoisite, for goodness' sake. The lord and lady stuff seems wildly out of place at the beach."  
  
"And who's going to save me from you and your annoying self?"   
  
"No one until you learn to live life properly. Look, I don't particularly like you, let alone understand you, but I can't let you waste this beautiful day by the ocean. Don't you ever just enjoy yourself and the things around you?"  
  
"I have plenty of fun. The girls and I always --"  
  
"Sure, but besides the Senshi and the princess, don't you ever socialize, ever just lose yourself?"  
  
"I haven't the need nor the desire. My loved ones and my books are all I need to be happy."  
  
"I know what you mean, but don't you ever just want to be free, like a child? Forgetting about your royal responsibilities for a moment, don't you ever wish to just be human?"   
  
The look she gave him chilled his bones, despite the sunny weather. "I am very human, Zoisite. You just don't have the privilege of seeing it." Zoisite scrunched his brow. That hurt. The worst part was that he knew it shouldn't have.   
  
She turned to look out at the glistening sea. "And aren't you supposed to be scouring the shore for the love of your life?" she asked, looking sideways at him with the slightest hint of a smirk. God, was she pretty when she had that expression on her face. "I believe you only have five months, thirty days, and twelve hours until our bet reaches its deadline."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but that can wait. No pressure." He grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the water.  
  
"What are you doing?" she yelled. "I'm still fully dressed!"  
  
He stopped abruptly, causing her to smack into him. "Right you are. Did you even bring a swimming outfit? Or did you make sure to leave it at home so no one could persuade you to get a little wet?"   
  
She rolled her eyes, exasperated with his narrow-mindedness. "My elements are water and ice, you daft twit. Of course I brought my bathing suit. I'm at home in the water."  
  
"Then what are you waiting for? Go change!" he ordered.  
  
"No need. I'm wearing it underneath my clothes." Walking back toward the beach umbrella, she unpinned the hat from her short navy locks and shook her head so they bounced freely around her face. Zoisite watched her, completely transfixed, and she seemed to move in slow motion, in measured, graceful movements. He watched the hat hover down to the sand. He watched her creamy hand push the cardigan from her shoulders and watched her lift her blouse over her head. He watched her step out of her long skirt and into the sunlight, kicking her loafers into the air and walking toward him, barefoot and smiling. "I'm ready now."  
  
It was a simple black one-piece swimsuit that clung beautifully to her. The straps were thin laces that tied into a bow behind her neck, and the suit completely exposed her smooth white back, showing off the graceful line of her spine. He never realized how long and shapely her legs were, and although she was rather thin, she had an appealing athletic build. Most surprising of all, she didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable as he'd thought she'd be. She didn't seem to mind the appreciative stares from the male population or the fact that she was wearing a tight suit out in the open. As she had said, she was at home on the beach.  
  
Zoisite cleared his throat. "I think the guys are setting up a volleyball net. Let's get a game going, shall we?"  
  
Ami ran past him. "I'm way ahead of you!"  
  
She never ceased to surprise him.  
  
Minako prepared herself for battle. Her trademark red hair ribbon secured her long golden hair in a high ponytail, and her glowing golden arms crossed her crimson bikini top. The sides of her bikini bottom were tied in small bows, and she had wrapped a semi-transparent sarong patterned with flames around her well-rounded hips. The ensuing volleyball game was a girls versus boys affair, and her team had named her captain. She, a former volleyball superstar during her schoolgirl years and a consummate athlete. This was her game, her victory. She practically owned the sport.  
  
Ami, Makoto, Rei, Usagi, Luna, and Minako faced their smug male opponents on the other side of the net. After much pleading, Luna had actually agreed to fill the sixth spot needed to complete the team. Artemis had readily jumped into the game. Passing for the girls team in the back were Ami, Rei, and Luna. The Princess Serenity would play setter and front center in her frilly pink and white swimsuit, and the obvious choices for outside hitters were the tall and powerful Makoto and the speedy and talented Minako.   
  
The men, being the male chauvinists that they are, were acting like they had a guaranteed victory. Kunzite was nominated team captain, and he had positioned himself to pass in the back between a grinning Artemis and a humming Endymion. Zoisite, the setter, was playing "Ring Around the Rosie" with Jadeite, an outside hitter, as the other outside hitter, Nephrite, bounced the ball on his head.   
  
During the coin toss, Kunzite had called heads, and because the coin landed heads, the men got to serve first. Ami, Rei, and Luna got low to the ground with arms outstretched, ready to receive the ball. Nephrite threw the ball over his broad shoulder to Endymion, the first to serve. The crown prince rolled the ball between his hands, took a deep breath, stepped back a few steps, tossed the ball up, charged forward, and delivered a beautiful jump serve, launching the poor ball with fierce speed.   
  
"I got it!" shouted Rei, even before her cousin's serving hand had touched the ball. Her psychic powers were good for more than just saving the galaxy. She lunged forward so that the ball bounced perfectly off her forearms and into Usagi's poised and reflexive hands. The petite blonde set the ball without a problem to Minako, and with a ferocious fire in her eyes that matched the sarong around her waist, Minako spiked the ball with such strength and speed that she caught the men off guard. The ball ended up in their court, a foot deep in the sand and smoldering. They looked at her incredulously, fearfully. She winked at them, blowing them an innocent kiss. Could they even hope to compete with Minako, a volleyball legend?  
  
"One to zero!" called Luna.  
  
"How 'bout a little one-on-one between you and me?" shouted back Artemis.  
  
A few minutes later, Artemis was lying face down on the ground with a mouthful of sand to keep him quiet.  
  
The men soon learned not to underestimate their female opponents. Soon, it was game point, ladies 14, men 13. Kunzite, not one to take defeat lightly, vowed to put an end to the game. He would not, could not lose to a bunch of girls. However, throughout the entire match, he studied Minako's movements and facial expressions, admired the grace of her maneuvers. She was highly skilled, that was for sure. He found comfort in knowing that if hell should freeze over and his team should lose, at least their adversary was worthy. Not to mention incredibly sexy in a blazing red bikini.   
  
His mind lost track of the ball. Unfortunately, the ball found him.   
  
While he let himself get carried away by fantasy and other unmentionable things, Serenity had set a perfect ball to Minako the Great, who then smacked the ball with more power than a cannon shooting a cannonball. Kunzite knew this for a fact - he felt the full force of it as it smacked into his forehead.   
  
"Kunzite, are you alright?"  
  
"My lord?"  
  
"Speak to me, son!"  
  
"How many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
"Hey! Put that finger down! There's kids around!"  
  
Kunzite groaned. He opened his eyes to see eleven blurry faces moving in and out of blackness. He couldn't get up from his prostrate position. His head pounded with too much pain. Suddenly, he felt a warm hand hold up his neck and set his head on a soft lap. "Kunzite, I'm so sorry… Oh, please be okay…"  
  
Minako's voice. Worried? Holding him. Close to him. She smelled like cinnamon and vanilla.   
  
"What the hell is your problem?!" she screeched.  
  
Moment ruined.   
  
Cracking open one eye, he muttered an oath. "What the hell is yours?" he groaned back, lifting a hand to the nasty bulge growing on his head. She smacked his hand away. "Don't touch it," she ordered. "Ami-chan's getting the first aid kit. Why did you just stand there and let the ball pound you in the face? You're Kunzite the Stony, not Kunzite the Stoner! You normally have such good reflexes." He looked around at their audience. The Senshi and the Shittenou were regarding them with a mixture of interest and suspicion. Their looks put him on the defensive. He tried to get his head off Minako's lap quickly. Bad idea, though. It only made the pain worst.  
  
"You idiot, hold still!" She pinned his shoulders to the ground. Looking up at their companions, she assured them that she could handle the situation and took the ice pack that Ami offered. The crowd dispersed, leaving Kunzite alone with Minako in the middle of the volleyball court. Gently, she held the ice pack to his rising bruise, stroking his platinum hair away from his face. Though the pounding in his head was awful, he felt more content than he ever did in his life.  
  
Minako bent her head over him, and her golden ponytail lightly brushed his face. Her lustrous blue eyes scrutinized him to check for signs of serious head trauma. After a time, she was satisfied, and they were not aware how long they stayed like that.  
  
"Kunzite?" she addressed him after so long.  
  
"Hmm?" he murmured lazily.  
  
"We kicked your ass."  
  
"WHAT?! I was injured! That's not fair."  
  
"Life's not fair, but the ladies still won."  
  
"No way. Rematch."  
  
"Sore loser."  
  
"Cheater."  
  
"LOSER."  
  
"COWARD."   
  
Minako pressed the ice pack hard into his throbbing bump. He hissed in pain and finally shut up.   
  
She won this round. His head still hurt. They still had the whole day at the beach ahead of them. Together.  
  
The headache was not going away any time soon.  
  
I'm leaving this whole summer! I won't even be in the country! Because I wouldn't have internet access, I had to cut the intended length of this chapter in half, and for that I am sorry. But I know people want to see the story continue, so hopefully, not to many people are disappointed. Thanks for the reviews and the helpful criticisms… As a writer, I've learned that I still have a long way to go as far as my skills are concerned.   
  
Review! When I come back to the States, I better see a mailbox full of them! 


	19. A Brief Survey

Hello Dear Readers,

I assume that if you are reading this message that there are at least a few of you who still faithfully await some word of my existence. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Firstly, I owe you a sincere apology. Several years have passed since I last updated my one and only online story. Though it may surprise you given my apparent abandonment of The Winning Losers, I did think of you and this story from time to time with great fondness.

Secondly, I owe you an explanation. To state it briefly, a lot happened in my life, and a lot of things changed in my outlook, consequently changing the way I write and communicate. By the time I reached the latest chapter of my unfinished story, I could feel I was already a different writer from the person who began, and I had much growing still in store. The disconnection in style and inspiration discouraged me from continuing. I'm a little obsessive, you see, and I was dissatisfied with the inconsistency of quality throughout this little oeuvre. Some parts still tickle me, but others, after rereading them, fall painfully flat. The wasted potential is a kind of torture. I felt I could not finish it without overhauling the story all together and starting somewhat afresh. And I, slacker that I am, felt exhausted with the idea. So I left it unfinished.

Every now and then, I still get these lovely and encouraging reviews that make my hand itch with the urge to take up the keyboard and revive the plot. I also just hate the fact that for once in my life I didn't see something through the end. If I do this, would you be willing to start over with me? Some things will remain, but a lot would change for the better.

Please send your feedback in the reviews.

Cheers, everyone!

Yours,

Minh Minh


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